//------------------------------// // Chapter 6: Thor Busters // Story: Of Archon Toilets and Bioballs // by MiniPsyker //------------------------------// "...Come on, Twilight, you can do it!" Spike cheered Twilight, with Mike in the corner just watching. "Okay, here goes." She lowered her head so that her horn would be pointing at Spike, and began focusing. She then casted a spell on him, which missed, hit the mirror, and in turn struck Mike's face for having his visor up and his face expose. Once the small cloud of smoke dissipated it was revealed that he now had a giant beard and moustache that'd be comparable to those of the dwarves. It was grey, long and wide, and some ends braided. He stroked it as he enjoyed his now full beard instead of his old neckbeard. "Oh, sorry." Twilight perfomed another spell on him, only to be reflected by his visor once he lowered it in a split second. The spell hit the roof, then the mirror, and finally Spike's head, rendering him bald. "WHAT!?" Spike asked petrified. "You're not going to tell me you want to keep that, right?" Twilight asked Mike, ignoring Spike's agony. Mike just gave a thumbs up, making Twilight sigh since he was not going to change his opinion on the matter. Then she returned Spike to how he was before. "Woohoo!" Spike cheered. Now he knew how it felt to be bald. "Come one, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!" A certain blue unicorn with a mane of a lighter shade said right in front of a multitude. "...For real?" Mike asked to himself with his glorious beard still in place. "Watch in awe as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!" "My, my, my! What boasting!" Rarity said. "Come on, no pony's as magical as Twi-- Twi-- Twi-- Oh!" Spike interrupted himself as he cleaned his throat. "Hey, Rarity, I, uh-- Mustache!" He ran off in an instant. Time passed as the mane 6 talked among themselves, until Trixie overheard them. "Well, well, well, it seems we have some neighsayers in the audience. Who is so ignorant as to challenge the magical ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie? Do they not know that they're in the presence of the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria?" "Keep yubbin' that big mouth, while it's still attached to your bloody neck." Mike whispered to himself. "So, 'Great and Powerful Trixie'. What makes you think you're so awesome, anyway?" Rainbow Dash asked once she flew right in front of her. "Heh, why, only the Great and Powerful Trixie has magic strong enough to vanquish the dreaded Ursa Major!" "Wait..." Mike asked Twilight quietly. "What's an Ursa Major?" "Well... A big bear, sort of." Twilight answered. "When all hope was lost, the ponies of Hoofington had no one to turn to, but the Great and Powerful Trixie stepped in, and with her awesome magic, vanquished the Ursa Major and sent it back to its cave deep within the Everfree Forest!" Trixie kept boasting. "Trixie truly is the most talented, the most magical, the most awesome unicorn in Ponyville." Snails added. "It's true, my enthusiastic little admirers. Trixie is most certainly the best in Ponyville. Don't believe the Great and Powerful Trixie? Heheh, well then, I hereby challenge you, Ponyvillians -- anything you can do, I can do better. Any takers? Anyone? Hmm? Or is Trixie destined to be the greatest equine who has ever lived!?" "Please! She's unbearable! Ya gotta show her! Ya just gotta!" Spike begged Twilight. "There's no way I'm going to use my magic now, Spike. Especially since--" "Hmm, how about you!" Trixie challenged, looking at Twilight's general direction. "Mike, can Terrans do 'magic'?" Twilight asked forcing a smile and appearing not to talk at all. "Nope." He answered. "Well, how about it? Hm? Is there anything you can do that the Great and Powerful Trixie can't?" "I-- I--" Twilight tried speaking. "Well, little hairy biped?" She was referring to Mike himself, not Twilight. "Me?" Mike asked in confusion. "Yes, you!" "I don't have time for this load of bull..." He sighed as he turned around and began walking away, with the crowd letting him through and the weight of his armor shaking the ground and leaving giant footsteps. After a few hours, night already, Mike sat on the staircase of Twilight's house, playing around with his visor's UI, overseering his base thanks to the top-down view he had. Twilight Was busy reading something, all normal for a day, until Spike bursted through the door. "Twilight, Mike, you've gotta come! Quick!" "I already told you, Spike, I don't wanna show up Trixie!" "No, you don't understand, it's--" A loud roar which shook the earth interrupted Spike's explanation, thought it'd be more of an explanation of what was happening by itself. It grabbed both Twilight's and Mike's attention. "Uh, is that what I think it is?" Twilight asked. "...Majorly." "Uh, okay." Trixie nervously said, standing directly in front of the dreaded Ursa Major and gulping. "Stand back." She used her magic to levitate a rope and tying it around the Ursa. "Heh. Piece of cake." But as she finished the Ursa effortlessly broke the ropes that were tied to just two of his fingers. "Aw, come on, Trixie." Snips said. "Stop goofin' around and vanquish it, eh?" Snails added. Trixie tried another tactic. With her magic, she created a dark cloud bearing a thunderstorm in the sky. Unfortunately, it was barely a fraction of the Ursa's size. "Well, that was a dud." Snails stated disappointed. "Yeah, pfft, come on! Where's all the cool explosions and smoke--" Snips tried saying, only to be interrupted by the sound and sight of a pair of missiles impacting directly on the Ursa's neck, with a squadron of Vikings making their strafing run. Seconds later, marines, marauders and ghosts led by Mike, with Twilight and Spike following behind him, appeared. Out of fright, both Snips and Snails ran towards the great army, while Trixie escaped to an unknown direction. "What's going on?!" Twilight asked Snips and Snails while Mike tried dealing with the situation. "We brought an Ursa to town." Snips proudly stated. "You what?!" "Don't worry, the Great and Powerful Trixie will vanquish it." Snails said, oblivious to the situation while staring at Trixie who was barely a few metres away. "I can't." Trixie said. "What!?" Both Snips and Snails asked. "Oh, I can't, I never have. No one can vanquish an Ursa Major. I just made the whole story up to make me look bette--" Trixie said, only to be interrupted by Mike yelling. "MAKE WAY!! MAKE WAY!! INCOMING!!" Mike screamed at the top of his lungs as he clinged to the rampaging Ursa's neck, as if he was in a bizarre rodeo. The Ursa, running Amok, destroyed buildings and roads alike, while the entire Terran force failed to even harm it, even though they could've drowned the beast with the depleted shells of their ammo. "WHO NEEDS A CAR WHEN I HAVE THIS BAD BOY!!" He yelled, barely being able to actually control what the Ursa destroyed. Emphasis on barely. Unfortunately, the Ursa made a strange movement with enough brutality to send Mike flying to the ground right next to Twilight, digging himself into the earth, just like the time he arrived to Equestria. "Mphmphik..." He tried calling for a medic with his agonyzing voice, yet was muffled by the ground. Spike, upon seeing this, pressured Twilight to take actions. Twilight stepped forward, unsure. She began focusing, using her magic to guide the wind and, purposefully or not, making music out of a few plants, calming the Ursa. She levitated the beast. Then, she grabbed an old water tank high above, emptied it, and guided it through a barn full of cows. Out of it came out filled with milk. She gave it to the Ursa, calming it further until it was as close to asleep as it could get, levitating it to the cave it came from. Once done, she became exhausted for applying so much effort, but the sight and sound of the ponies and Terrans cheering for her caught her attention. "I'm sorry. Please, please don't hate me." Twilight asked of them. "Hate you?" Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Applejack questioned, while Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Spike helped Mike out of the ground. "Why, whatever do you mean, darling?" Rarity asked. "Well, I know how much you all hated Trixie's showing off with her magic tricks, and I just thought--" "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Magic's got nothing to do with it. Trixie's just a loudmouth." Rainbow Dash interrupted. "Most unpleasant." Rarity added. "All hat and no cattle." Applejack added further. "So, you don't mind my magic tricks?" Twilight asked. "Your magic is a part of who you are, sugarcube, and we like who you are. We're proud to have such a powerful, talented unicorn as our friend." "And after whuppin' that ursa's hind quarters, we're even prouder." Rainbow Dash stated. "You are?" "Mm-hmm." The three of them said in unison. "Wow, Twilight, how'd you know what to do with that Ursa Major?" Spike asked, with Mike getting the dirt out of his helmet behind him. "That's what I was doing when you came looking for me. I was so intrigued by Trixie's bragging that I was compelled to do a little reading up on them." Twilight answered. "So it is possible to vanquish an Ursa Major all by yourself?" "That wasn't an Ursa Major, it was a baby, an Ursa Mino--" She tried explaining, only for an incredibly loud, ear piercing, horrifying roar in the distance petrified them all. Terran forces and Mike included. "What... Was that...?" Mike asked, for the first time showing a bit of uneasyness. "T-that..." Twilight tried saying, but the words couldn't escape from her mouth. "W-w-what's that?!" Rainbow Dash asked completely dumbfounded and scared off her soul, pointing to the distance where a giant purple figure loomed over, more than five times the size of the Ursa Minor. Every pony began running amok in utter fear while the Terrans asked among themselves what that strange silhouette was. Mike has never seen something like that either, even the mighty Ultralisk paled in comparison. "Ursa... Major..." The words finally escaped from Twilight's mouth before finally passing out. "That thing?!" Mike snapped out of his trance as he moved closer to the group. "You know how much disaster the Minor did?!" "W-what are we going to do now?" Rarity asked. 'Should I say that maybe the gunfire and explosions attracted it because of its baby? ...It'll be a mistery...' Mike thought. He cleaned the sweat off his mouth, and gave a determined look towards the group. "Get everyone to a safe distance. I got this." "You?!" Rainbow Dash asked. "You couldn't even handle the Ursa Minor and you want to take that thing down?!" "Not everything in my arsenal has been shown, pegasus." As he said that, several SCVs rushed past him to town, building bunkers, missile turrets and sensor towers everywhere, with several Command Centers flying into position, dropping down, and turning themselves into Planetary Fortresses. The Terrans, now filled with courage of seeing their determined leader knowing what to do, began entering the now-complete bunkers, the empty houses, and all over the town. "What are you planning then? With all you have here you're dead." "I just need a bit of time." He said as he walked towards the fortifications and signalling the rest to go, leaving him. He was now with his Terrans looking at the horizon as the Ursa Major kept on advancing towards them at a steady pace, until it entered the range of the sensor towers. "We're in for a wild night..." A few minutes later. Explosions, gunshots and roars drowned every other sound. "Twilight? Twilight!!" Spike desperately asked upon seeing her regaining her senses somewhat. Once she woke up, she saw everyone gathering around her with worry in their faces. "Thank Celestia you're alright!" "Wha... What's going on... --The Ursa Major!! Mike can't--" "Listen darling, as far as we know he has the most probabilities of doing this." "He has no chances!! He'll--" Rarity put her hoof over Twilight's shoulder. "We all know... And what I said is still the truth..." "He told us to get away." Rainbow Dash added. "So he's going to...?" Twilight asked, not wanting to finish the sentence. "He didn't say..." Spike answered. "He just... Told us to go, that he needs time, nothing else... We--" "THOR IS HERE" "HIT ME!" "I HEAR YOU" "I AM A THUNDERGOD! AND I HURL THUNDERBOLTS!" "I COULD AIM, BUT WITH THIS THING... I DON'T HAVE TO." The sudden, almost uncaring chatter in the distance interrupted the overly dramatic moment. Though saying 'killed the moment' would be more appropiate. "What--" Rainbow Dash tried to ask herself, before being silenced by the sight of ten giant machines, more than twice the size of a Viking, walking towards the battlefield and shaking the ground with their giant feet. "THUNDER AND LIGHTNING, THIS IS CRAZY!!" Rainbow Dash flew closer to the giant machines, until she saw the red paint, and most importantly, the Dominion insignia that let her know they were Mike's forces. She flew back to the group of ponies with a smile on her face and announced. "They're Mike's!! He can do it!!" The ponies cheered to the skies, knowing that hope was not lost. Meanwhile, in a Thor's cabin... "I AM HEAVY METAL." The Thor pilot leading the group yelled around, until he drove to the main square where he had a good line of fire against the Ursa Major. "About damn time you showed up!" Mike said through the radio upon he spotted them. There were Vikings flying around shooting at the Ursa, marines and marauders catapulted towards it, and ghosts just sipping tea as if they didn't even care. "What happened to you, commander? They got you pushing too many pencils?" "Yeah yeah, line those things up and fire at the Ursa, prepare the 250mm cannons at my mark!" "No problem!!" The Thor pilot accidentally stepped into a house, crumbling it, but in turn acquired a good line of fire and stood its ground while the other Thors placed themselves around the Ursa Major. "Ride the lightning!" He yelled as he smahed the 'fire' button, firing his main guns at the Ursa. Time passed while the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny took place, the 10 Thors surrounding the Ursa while it was distracted by smashing the bunkers, turrets, marines and marauders that shot at it. "D'as it! Mark!" Mike yelled through the radio "DROPPING THE HAMMER..." The Thor pilot answered, smashing the big bad red button with a skull on it with his forehead. The four 250mm strike cannons mounted at the back of every Thor positioned themselves aiming at the Ursa. Then, after a second, all fired at once, unleashing a barrage that blinded and deafened everyone around. Once the barrage was over, the Ursa began falling in slow motion just like the Hindenburg disaster. "Hammer of the Gods!!" The Thor pilot yelled as he put on a pair of sunglasses over his broken pair of sunglasses. The Ursa Major fell on top of another Thor, thus marking the end of the conflict. "I'm on fire. No, really!!" The unfortunate Thor that got slammed by the Ursa yelled through the radio. A few hours later, in the first hours of the morning... "So..." Rainbow Dash began asking. "The Ursa's unconscious, and since every unicorn knows levitation they're helping Twilight get it to the cave." Spike answered. "I just hope that what Mike did gave that thing amnesia." "Ragnarok, baby!!" A Thor yelled, shooting at the sky. "I think we learnt something this day." Spike continued. "We must never piss off Mike." "Uh-huh." Everyone said in unison. "Dear Princess Celestia, I have learned a very valuable lesson about friendship: I was so afraid of being thought of as a showoff that I was hiding a part of who I am. My friends helped me realize that it's okay to be proud of your talents, and there are times when it's appropriate to show them off... Especially when you're standing up for your friends. And Mike? At first I sincerely thought he was an idiot, but as I get to know him better, I realize he's still an idiot, but a great idiot who's willing to do what others cannot, and for that, we owe him a lot." "I am the destroyer!" Another Thor yelled, chasing Trixie around. "I am rated T, for Thor!"