//------------------------------// // Losing Track // Story: Serenity // by Arbiter Balemead //------------------------------// Stupid. She felt so stupid. The scene was perfect, the moment felt right, and they had perfect privacy, but she just couldn't work up the nerves. She couldn't do it, she couldn't say it, and she couldn't stand that she didn't. The two sat there, side by side, still staring at the empty horizon. Or at least, Fluttershy was. Luna's eyes were closed in a mix of regret and concentration as she raised the moon. It had only been a few moments ago that Luna had decided to stay quiet, and it was only that long that Fluttershy had been silently scolding herself for not telling Luna everything. Not telling her how it had gotten more confusing, in the sense of clashing emotions towards a third party. That third party being Luna. The Night Princess opened her eyes slowly, obvious signs of strain on her face. She took a moment to relax against the tree, visibly recovering from the work as Fluttershy watched. After a second, Luna opened her eyes, looking over at the worried caretaker next to her. "Oh, don't fret. Celestia gets worn out too." She said nonchalantly, waving a hand between the two of them as she stood up. "Now. *ahem* What next?" "I- uhm... W-well, it's late now. I should head back to my cottage and feed the animals dinner. I-I guess you should head back to the library." "Hm... I suppose..." It was nearly three hours later -approximately nine'o'clock- and Luna was sitting on a cloud, watching her moon drift so slowly that only her trained eyes could really notice the slight distance it made every minute. She stared at it intently, thinking so hard of the years spent there. It was so odd, the way she'd been there, and yet, not been there at once. Using her conscious control of her powers, she'd managed to form a proxy body out of starlight that she could use to wander around the great celestial body. It was her real body, and her conscious wasn't really in the body, but it had sufficed. She could see through its eyes, and she could feel the ground at its feet. She could recall lunar rotations spent on the peaks of high hills, staring into endless space as she contemplated whether to attempt revenge, and later on, how to enact it. Her better self had managed to convince her Nightmare Moon self through some cockamamie circular logic not to immediately kill Celestia, but Nightmare Moon had gotten the better of Luna in deciding what to do when she arrived back in Terra. She could also recall entire years spent wandering from crater to crater, hill to hill, fissure to fissure, trying to memorize the exact design of her glorious moon, just in case she had to come back and wanted to know where to either wander to first, or build a lunar palace. She had had so many daydreams about what she would do after squashing her sister with her superior abilities. It was insane how many people in this world assumed that Celestia -as the elder- was more powerful. It never occurred to them that Luna had single-handedly defeated her twice, nor did it occur to them that she could easily harness the powers of Nightmare Moon and do it again. Boiling in these dark thoughts, Luna barely noticed that her hair had started flowing in the dark, misting form that it had taken on when she was Nightmare Moon. The wind blew it into her line of sight, jerking her thoughts out of that dark realm that is her past, and into the slightly less dark one that is the present. She took a few breaths and calmed herself down, watching her hair slowly revert itself to normal. After all, her hair changing form was the only warning she ever had that she was about to change. Of course, she could still maintain control over Nightmare Moon. Or at least, she could now, after the Elements of Harmony had rearranged the chain of command between Luna and her powers. And that's another thing! The few sympathizers Luna had were under the completely false influence that Luna had no control whatsoever over Nightmare Moon. These people were as annoying as her opposers were aggravating. It was not some split personality, or even a possession by some dark spirit. It was just Luna, but with so much of her godly energy harnessed that it began to cloud and corrupt her mind. It wasn't even a different mind; it was just her mind, thinking differently than she normally would. She sighed again, realizing that she was failing to calm herself. She stood on the cloud, looking down over Ponyville. She watched the quiet nighttime bustle, wondering to herself what it would be like to be part of it; a mere cog in the clock, rather than one of the hands on the face. Being important, without being looked at. Of course, no such thing would ever be an option for her, not with her duties as the Goddess of the Night. Her gaze shifted, as always, to the stars. Her stars. She stared continuously, searching for a change to be made. There was always something that could stand to be changed -something that could be spruced up a bit. There was always something she could change. Any true poet worth his weight in ink could convey the strongest of emotions behind a facade of words and rhymes. He could use hateful words to convey how much they loved someone, or happy words to show how much they despised them. He could hide any true meaning behind false words, placing a second meaning within his masterpiece that only those willing to see it would see. In a similar way, any artist worth her weight in paint could convey the strongest of emotions within a mask of paint, stone, or art of any form. She could hide one image of anger within a larger image of love. She could use one image of joy, and hide within it an image of endless frustration. In both cases, there are times when the poet or the artist cannot hide meaning behind meaning, such as plain word poetry or sculpting, but when they can, and do, it is truly a masterpiece in its own respect. Stars are one art form where this is possible, seeing as all that must be done is move a few stars and place a few more, then instantly you have a new image within another image. It was this technique that Luna was applying to use right now. Within one image of a manticore that she had crafted years ago, she was placing another image. One that conveyed her own imagination, her own frustration, her own self-hate, her own hope, her own power, and simply even her own . A few stars to form the rounded top of it... and some to form the crack that would convey all the emotion... Use the manticore's chest to help create the crack... and his paw to form the plates of the design.... And within an instant, she had turned this manticore into the hiding place for a cracked and dented image of the helmet of Nightmare Moon. After all, what frustrates Luna more than Nightmare Moon? And who hated Nightmare Moon more than herself? The cottage lights were out. Fluttershy was hovering from room to room, feeding the random nighttime animals their breakfasts and the daytime critters their dinners. She then tended to the many needs that these helpless, adorable creatures always have. The random things they can't seem to do by themselves, always bringing a smile to Fluttershy's face when they came to her for help. After an hour of exhausting physical therapy for a bear that had broken his leg last week, Fluttershy finally walked into her living room and fell onto her couch tiredly. She laid down, resting her head on the arm of the couch, to watch the bats and nighttime birds flutter about her home. She felt a tap at her shoulder and looked over, finding Angel Bunny pushing his way under her arm to snuggle with her. He was always more companionable when he was tired. With his warm form pressed against her side and her buttery wings wrapped around herself like a feathered blanket, she felt quite comfortable and, in turn, drowsy. It wasn't long before she slowly drifted off to sleep. She slept through the night, barely stirring once, not dreaming at all. She woke to a combination of sunlight, birds chirping, and Angel Bunny scurrying out from under her arm. Her eyes drifted open slowly, taking some time to adjust to the rising levels of light. Looking around the room, she came to the realization that she had woken up late; the morning birds that she was usually awake before were currently fluttering around the room, probably wondering where there breakfast was. She stood up from the couch, stretching and rubbing her eyes tiredly. She walked over to the closet where she stored all her animal feed, opened it, and began the basic daily chores. It was the usual morning of feeding the birds, preparing a salad for Angel Bunny, then moving on to breakfast for the random little critters, the the odd assortment of needs that all her animal friends have. It was around another hour into the day later that she was relaxing in her living room chair and heard a tap at the door. She opened it, finding Rainbow Dash standing at her door. "Uhm... H-hello, Rainbow." "Hey Shy. Have you seen the Princess anywhere? Twi says she didn't come back to the library last night." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nightwing must've been laying in bed, awake, for nearly an hour before she finally realized why. Something was missing. Someone, that is. The Princess had not stepped in at all that night. The Guard Captain glanced at the clock on the wall, noting that it was almost midnight. She was -of course- aware that Luna was almost never asleep before midnight, but she was also aware that Luna was almost never outside her chambers this close to midnight. Now, granting that the library was technically not her chambers, the Princess of the Night was still a creature of habit and would likely treat it as her chambers for the remainder of their stay here. As such, Nightwing was now worried about Luna, officially deciding that the Princess had gone missing. She got out of bed and woke Twilight, explaining her fears to the librarian. Twilight reacted with a sound mind, assuming that, seeing as this was a leisure trip, Luna had decided to change her schedule up. She would probably turn up in the morning. This put the two of them at ease for the night. But when morning came, this assumption proved to be incorrect. The Princess contemplated whether her night on this cloud had been wise. Yes, she had slept comfortably on this soft, floating cushion, under the faint glow of her beloved stars, but she hadn't returned to the library, and now she was sure Twilight was worried. Of course, she could fix that problem easily by simply showing up. That is, of course, if she knew where she was. The cloud had drifted during the night, as they often do, and now she had no clue where she was nor which way Ponyville was. The only way she could figure out how to navigate her way back was by using the Constant Stars that she had placed in the sky for the very purpose that they would not move and, thus, would be used for navigation. The only problem with this idea was that it was only of use at night, when the stars were visible. She sat up on the cloud, having been lazing on top of it in thought. Oddly enough, she was perfectly calm about the fact that she was currently missing. She had absolutely no clue where she was or how to get back to Ponyville, but that was fine; she'd just hold out a day (being a goddess, that was easy), then navigate by her stars tonight. Then the childish part of her spoke up. It was this oddity that both herself and Celestia had reported to each other. Centuries old, they still possessed a slightly immature mind at times. Yes, they would act normally, speak normally, and think normally most the time, but sometimes a little part of their mind would speak up and then they would suddenly be children again. It was more than just a simple urge to be a kid; it was that part of her really was still a child. It was actually pretty close to a second personnality, and Luna would've assumed that it really was, until Celestia said she had that problem, and Cadence said she had experienced it to a weaker extent, and considering she was a mere demi-goddess, that would be expected. And right now her childish part (Lu-Lu, as she'd taken to referring to it, which she was sure was evidence of some kind of insanity) was thinking that this might be fun. If she simply lollygagged around here in the wilderness, Nightwing would come searching and maybe so would Twilight Sparkle, and Rainbow Dash, and Rarity, and Pinkie Pie, and Applejack, and- *Gasp!* Fluttershy! Maybe she'll come get me! That would be fun, wouldn't it? No, this is stupid. I could so easily get back there and spare them all the worry. But that's boring! Besides, if Fluttershy does come, she'll probably be really worried about me, so she'll come running into my arms... Stop. ...and then she'll kiss me! Then we... No. Stop. ...can go out, and kiss some more, and- and- Please. Just- Just stop. And get Married! Oh, dear Sister, wouldn't that be fan- SHUT UP! She doesn't like me! Lu-Lu went quiet. Luna, on the other hand, was now crying into her hands. Lu-Lu always managed to make her more emotional over things that didn't originally bother her to begin with. It did occur to her, as it usually did, that she must be insane, arguing with some kind of inner voice and all, and crying over such childish things that normally didn't bother her, and especially shouldn't bother an immortal being. Of course, when Luna thought about it philosophically, maybe that was the whole reason Lu-Lu and Celly (the name she'd secretly given to Celestia's childish voice) existed. Perhaps their purpose was to keep her and Luna from becoming desensitized to life, thus keeping them from being goddesses, and making them more of a pair of sisters who rule an entire nation together. Or maybe these voices just drive them bonkers. Who knows? Either purpose would be acceptable, seeing as they fulfill both. S-sorry. Just- *sigh* Just stop... I don't even really wanna go back to Ponyville anymore. ... I mean... it doesn't really seem like much fun there anymore... I don't really want to go either. *sigh* Now I'm actually acting like you're a different person. I practically am! I'm Lu-Lu, remember? Just, please, stop. Luna groaned as her inner dialogue finished. She flopped back onto the cloud, staring up at the higher flying ones. The Angels have so much potential for art in these things, but they tend to leave them in their shapeless form for most their existence, up until the moment they rained themselves out. Although, Cloudsdale is truly a central hub of all the weather-based art form she's ever seen. Visiting it again could be nice. Wow, Luna could distract herself so easily with art. She supposed it was because there was really nothing for her without it, but she was still amazed at how easily she could change the subject of her thoughts with something so trivial as the shape of the clouds. She stood up on the cloud, examining it. She noticed that each step she took left the cloud reshaped and reformed slightly. She could easily sculpt it herself. It'd be a good way to pass the time until she felt ready to return to town or someone came and found her. So she set to work... "So... Yeah. We've been looking around Ponyville for around an hour, I think. You sure you have no clue where she is?" Rainbow asked. "N-no. I don't know where she is. Where all have you looked?" Fluttershy asked, sounding worried. "Most of Ponyville by now, I guess..." Rainbow said, glancing around as if Luna was hiding in the nearby bushes. "O-oh. H-how can I help?" Rainbow looked at her quizzically, quirking an eyebrow. "W-well, I'd like to help." "Okay? Uhm..." She scratched her head, trying to think of a way the timid caretaker could help. She flapped her wings gently as she thought, then an idea struck her suddenly. "Oh! Duh! You can ask your animal friends to help. No one in town has as many eyes and ears as you do! Duh! That should've been obvious..." She exclaimed, slapping herself on the forehead. "Oh! I-I guess that's true..." After three hours of work, Luna was sitting on the ground, admiring her handiwork. It was a rather marvelous (if she did say so herself) sculpture of a bull. After ten minutes, however, it began to loose its shape to the wind. Now Luna understood why the Angels reserved their art for Cloudsdalian homes. She decided that it was time to move on, not really wanting to be affiliated with the slowly crumbling piece of what was once art should she be found. She turned to take off, stopping awkwardly when she noticed that six squirrels in a nearby tree were staring at her. She stared right back, watching as the held a short communion, then one scampered up, squeaked at a bird, and that bird flew away. The princess merely shrugged to herself, then flew away. How odd...