Chapter 4
Anastasia Hopely's eyes slowly drifted open. She heard a buzzing noise in her head. She glanced around and discovered that she was lying on her kitchen floor, she must have passed out. She rolled over onto her back and looked up at the ceiling and let out a sigh. She hadn't passed out from drinking since her third year at University.
She heard the buzz again. That was when she realised, that it wasn't in her head. It was someone at her door. Hopely rolled back over onto her stomach and discovered several empty bottles of whiskey lying on the floor around her.
The door buzzed again, Hopely looked over to it and then back down at the bottles on the floor. She couldn't answer the door with all of these lying around. 'Just a minute!' she called out as the door buzzed again. She pushed all the bottles into a corner and dropped a dish towel that was lying on the counter over them before heading over to the door. She reached up and brushed her mane back into its' usual shape with a hoof before opening the door. She was surprised to discover who it was.
'Finally! I thought you had gone deaf!' Otto Büchsenmacher said with a scowl.
Otto Büchsenmacher was a schäferhund 'information retrieval specialist', working for the Ponyville Police Service. And by 'information retrieval specialist', she of course meant computer hacker, and by working for the PPS, she meant working for DCI Auditore, who had evidence that he had hacked into the website for the Welaran Home Office and put up an edited the image of King William of Welara to one of him wearing a dress. Needless to say, the Welarans weren't happy about that, and that was enough to keep the dog in line.
Schäferhund were a race of quadrupedal carnivorous canines. Otto himself was twice as large as Hopely, with thick matte black fur, dark and beady eyes that almost blended in with his face. His teeth were sharp and had the capability to rip and tear through flesh. All and all, schäferhund were intimidating. Except for Otto, he was a complete wuss. If Hopely just lightly bopped him on the nose he would probably start crying.
‘What do you want Otto?’ Hopely asked with a sigh.
‘“What do you want Otto?” She says’, Otto said with a huff. ‘No “hello Otto, how are you doing this morning?” Typical’.
‘Otto I am not in the mood for any shite from you right now so...’ Hopely began before Otto raised his leg to interrupt her.
‘If I may? I merely came down here on the instruction of DCI Auditore to find out the reason for why you did not show up for work this morning, and I’ve already figured out the reason’, Otto said as he made his way inside the flat.
A blank look formed on Hopely’s face, and she turned to look at the clock in her flat. To her dismay, it was a quarter past eleven in the morning. She should have been into work some four hours ago. She closed the door behind Otto and turned to face him. ‘What do you mean you know the reason?’ she asked, nervous of what the dog would say next.
‘You are hung over, Detective Constable Hopely’, Otto said as he sat down on her sofa.
‘No I’m not’, Hopely lied, hoping that Otto didn’t have the social skills to see through it.
Otto looked blankly at her for a moment. ‘Hopely. I am schäferhund, do you know what our main recreation activity is?’ he asked.
‘Shooting your guns at the firing range?’ Hopely asked.
Otto was silent for a moment, tossing his head back and forth before nodding in affirmation. ‘Ja... I suppose it is... do you know what our second main recreation activity is?’ Otto asked.
‘Um...’ Hopely said, thinking about it for a moment before being interrupted.
‘It is going out to Beer Halls and drinking, I think I know when someone has been drinking’, Otto said triumphantly.
Well fuck. Hopely had to admit that Otto had her there. She looked at the schäferhund nervously as a smile formed on his face. He was already thinking of how he could use this situation to his advantage. Hopely wasn’t about to let that happen.
‘I’m certain that you would not wish DCI Auditore to learn of this, ja? What is my silence worth to you?’ Otto asked as his smile turned into a cheeky grin on his face.
‘How about you don’t tell DCI Auditore, and I won’t bash your teeth out with my hoof?’ Hopely said, taking an aggressive step towards the dog and kicking out with her hoof, not coming anywhere close to his muzzle, but still causing him to flinch.
‘Alright! Alright! You win!’ Otto said as he shifted on the sofa away from her, wondering why he even thought that trying to blackmail her was a good idea.
'Good', Hopely said rolling her eyes, typical Otto, all bark and no bite. 'Now, I want you to go back down town and tell DCI Auditore... I'm taking a holiday, and that I'm sorry for not telling her personally'.
'Alright, alright', Otto said as he got up from the sofa and trotted back over to the door, mumbling to himself as he went over to it.
'And Otto?' Hopely said, causing the dog to look back over to her. 'You tell anyone about what happened here and I'll...' Hopely didn't bother finishing the sentence; instead, she made a quick motion with her foreleg across her neck. Otto understood very clearly. If he talked she would hurt him. He opened the door and shut it quickly behind him.
Hopely let out a sigh and went into her bedroom. She pulled off her overcoat that she had neglected to take off the night before, allowing it to fall to the floor and climbing into her bed and lying back. This was good, she just needed a little time to relax and calm herself down after what had happened last night.
Hopely rarely took any of her holidays and sick days. Each year, each constable in the Ponyville Police Service was given twelve sick days and twenty four holidays for the entire year, so far, Hopely had only used ten, they had to use all of them before the year was up or they would get into trouble. Hopely had gotten into trouble with the PPS last year because she had only used five out of the total thirty six days.
She blinked, watching as the ceiling fan above her rotated slowly. She just watched as her eyes became heavy, too heavy to keep open. She decided that she would just rest her eyes for a moment, she closed them and before she knew it she had drifted off to sleep.
…
Hopely's eyes shot open as she heard the buzzing noise of her door. She looked over to the clock sitting on her bedside table. It was 1702, shite! She'd fallen back asleep and had been out for just over six hours! She rolled out of bed, forgetting put on her overcoat as she trotted over to the door and opened it up.
'Hiya Hopely! How are you doing today?! Oh hey! You're not wearing your overcoat! I've never seen you without it before! That's neat!' said the obnoxious pink ball of energy that was Pinkie Pie. 'May I come in?'
Hopely looked down and discovered that she indeed wasn't wearing her overcoat and blushed lightly in embarrassment. 'Um sure Pinkie Pie... come on in', Hopely said as she showed the obnoxious pink pony into her flat. She quickly trotted back into her bedroom and grabbed her overcoat and haphazardly threw it back on.
While really, there wasn’t any sort of social stigma attached to nudity in the Equestrian Republic, wearing clothes had become the norm in their society for purely functional reasons, the most important being pockets. Pockets were useful, and Hopely made a use of them pretty much every day, still, while there wasn’t anything considered wrong with not wearing clothes, Hopely didn’t like being naked around other people, it made her feel uncomfortable.
She trotted back into the main room; Pinkie Pie was standing in the kitchen looking at the towel that Hopely had tossed over the empty bottles of alcohol. She picked up the towel and discovered the bottles, but merely gave them a shrug and picked them up and set them on the counter, rinsing them out in the sink before putting them in the recycling container next to the door.
‘You don’t have to do that’, Hopely said, eyes widening as Pinkie Pie had discovered the binge drinking escapade that Hopely had undertaken the night before.
‘I know, but it looks like you had a rough night last night, and I want to help out!’ Pinkie Pie said with a bright smile.
Hopely liked that about her, Pinkie Pie wasn’t judgemental like other ponies were, when she thought about it, she figured it might have had something to do with the fact that Pinkie Pie wasn’t really a pony at all. This Pinkie Pie was actually a changeling that had been imprinted with the memories, and thus, personality of a pony who lived during the Old Monarchy by FutureTec as part of some convoluted experiment into the creation of artificial intelligences. Hopely didn’t claim to understand the project; she was a language and history person, not science and mathematics. ‘Why are you here, Pinkie Pie?’ Hopely asked after a moment.
‘Oh, Kelso and Viola are having a romantic evening in. Kelso was going to be cooking for Viola, and then likely ordering Pizza after she sets it all on fire!’ Pinkie Pie said cheerfully.
Hopely nodded her head in agreement. Ana Kelso couldn’t cook to save her life.
‘So! I figured, “Hey! Hopely’s single and likely to not be having any romantic evenings with a colt/mare friend that she doesn’t have! I’ll go see if she wants to go get dinner with me!” So then I came over here. Want to go out and get Māo Xióng take out with me?’ Pinkie Pie asked.
Hopely wasn’t sure if she should be insulted by Pinkie Pie’s insinuations or not. She decided to ignore them and focus on a more important question instead. ‘Pinkie Pie... you’re a changeling... you don’t eat food’, Hopely said.
‘While I look like a pony, I’ve got a pony’s digestive system, which means I can process food! It doesn’t give me sustenance, but it quiets hunger for a little while until I feed’, Pinkie Pie said with a shrug. ‘Not to mention that most foods taste really good! Like Māo Xióng! Now come on! Want to go with me?’ Pinkie Pie asked.
Hopely did have to admit. She was a little hungry, she hadn’t eaten all day. ‘Sure, why not. Know a good place?’ Hopely asked.
‘Yep! I know a great place! I’ll upload the coordinates to your motorcycle’s navicomputer!’ Pinkie Pie said as she brought up her foreleg and opened the MIP’s holographic keyboard.
‘Speaking of my motorcycle, how did you get here anyway? Take the bus?’ Hopely asked as she zipped up her overcoat.
‘Nah, Doctor Fontaine’s financials are locked out on this thing, so I can’t swipe it for the city busses’, Pinkie Pie said, gesturing with the FutureTec issue MIP on her fetlock. ‘I walked’.
‘What? Pinkie Pie! DS Kelso and DCI Auditore’s flat is in Downtown West!’ Hopely cried out.
‘Yeah, and?’ Pinkie Pie asked as she continued to type at the holographic keyboard of her MIP.
‘I live in Whitetail... did you seriously walk all the way here from Downtown West?’ Hopely asked.
‘Uh huh! Only took me four and a half hours!’ Pinkie Pie said cheerfully.
‘We really need to get you a Bus Chit’, Hopely added with a sigh and a facehoof. ‘Where is this place we’re going anyway?’ she added as Pinkie Pie closed the holographic keyboard and started walking over to the front door.
Pinkie Pie turned back to Hopely and gave her a huge smile. ‘Oh it’s this great place in Downtown Central! Kelso took me there when we first met and their rice is so good! You’ll love it!’