//------------------------------// // Chapter Two: A New Day, A New Way To Screw Up // Story: Project Infinity // by Dubious //------------------------------// Chapter Two A New Day, A New Way To Screw Up -----(Littlepip person- I mean pony view)----- "Mornin' Littlepip. I made breakfast, by which I mean I opened up some military rations." "Military rations sure sounds better than two century old food." "Yeah, they're surprisingly good. What are they anyway?" "Five star gourmet meat dishes." "Now I know you're joking." "I'm not joking, look at the packaging." "Huh. What do ya know, they really are five star. What sort of military gives its soldiers high quality rations?" "The kind that likes extremely high morale." "Then I love your country." "Everyone does, we protect around two point six billion people." "Now I know that's bullshit, there's only thirty million people in the wastes. No way can your country have over two billion." "We have large amounts of land, highly advanced medical technology and a truly massive agriculture industry." "How massive?" "Around several hundred thousand square kilometers." "Okay now I believe you." "Why?" "Anything with that much farmland is bound to be truly massive." "Not even Equestria had that many ponies. Hell there weren't even that many sentient beings before the war." "Well only forty percent are actually human, the rest are a mix of genetically engineered workers and wildlife that became so irradiated it developed sentience." "You have monsters where you come from?" "Yeah we do. Also aliens." "How do you know that?" "My friend the Lone Wanderer was abducted by aliens." "I call bullshit. Does he have any proof?" "Yes SHE has alien weaponry." "Oh. Do you have any?" "No, she left them back at her house." "Why didn't she bring them?" "Because she have time to get them when she was picked up in the Vertibird." "What's a Vertibird?" "Ex-Enclave air transport, re-purposed for the Brotherhood." "I'm not even going to ask what either of those organizations are." "Good idea, I'm not up to explaining about them." just the a knock sounded at the door. "Who knocks in a post apocalyptic wasteland?" "Dunno, but you should probably answer it." "Fine." as he was walking towards the door Johnathon pondered who it could be knocking. When he opened it he was surprised to see three alicorns standing outside the door. "Can I help you?" "We're here for the male" they said in unison. "I'm not really sure you want to try and kidnap him." "Why not?" queried the three alicorns. "Because I'm the Courier, also because he's from an insanely advanced super country with access to weapons which don't have fire modes, but rather levels of overkill." "And?" "I'm pretty sure his government wants him back." "So?" "We're from another dimension." "So?" "His government has whole fleets of airships at its disposal." "And your point is?" "They could probably figure out how to bridge the dimensional gap and attack this place in full force." "The Goddess will take care of them." "Or they'll unleash a firestorm of death on your planet and conquer it in the name the name of unification." "We have talked enough, we shall take the male by force and dispose of you." "HEY CHASER!" "WHAT!" "THERE'S SOME FEMALE ALICORNS WHO WANT TO KIDNAP YOU!" "I'M COMING!" "That was easy, we're still going to kill you." "Or I'll just kill you with several well placed shots to the head." threatened Chaser. In response the alicorns raised shields. "These shields are impenetrable, you cannot defeat us." to answer them Chaser shot them all through the head. "Great impenetrable shields there hotshots." "Good one liner." "Thanks, I was thinking how to deliver it since they raised their shields." "Think that pistols a tad over powered?" "Nah, I had it set to maximum overkill. Should take about a day to recharge." "Huh, a pistol with special abilities. This is starting to seem like some form of crappy MMORPG game." "Yeah, but at least we're real." at that they both started laughing their asses off. Littlepip couldn't believe what she was seeing. These two had just gunned down some alicorns and were now laughing at a joke they made. "THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PONIES!!" Littlepip shouted. "Nothing, we're perfectly normal. For people who grew up outside the comfort of an underground super bunker that is." "You're both crazy." "Nah. We've just seen things that would make a lesser man drop dead from confusion." "I'm gonna go finish my breakfast then we're heading towards New Appleloosa." "What's that?" "What my Pipbuck says is the nearest town to us. I'll never understand how it does that." "Well my Pip-Boy does the same thing." "What's a Pip-Boy?" "A standard issue wrist mounted super computer with abilities that border on the impossible." "Sorta sounds like a Pipbuck." "Can you two stop talking about devices I am in current lack of?" "But it's fun making you feel left out." "I'm the only one here who can use their weapons easily, so don't push me." "Fine, fine we'll stop talking about them. Now let's finish breakfast and move out." "Good, I hope you both like steak." "I don't think our new bodies can eat meat." "That's nonsense, I ate some bloatsprite meat yesterday, and I'm perfectly fine." "Well, then steak it is." "By the way what does steak come from?" "Cows." "YOU EAT SENTIENT BEINGS!" "Where we come from cows aren't sentient." "There actually aren't any cows, period." "No there's cows, their genetic codes were kept in a gene bank back in Aquos." "Oh, so what you have access to infinitely more varieties of animals?" "Yes, but we should really get a move on." "Fine." After finishing their steak breakfast the trio headed off towards the town of New Appleloosa. On the way The Couriers loot sense started to tingle. Writing it off as nothing he continued walking towards New Appleloosa, when suddenly he felt the presence of an incredibly high value cache of loot. "Why'd you stop Johnathon?" "Loot." was all he replied before running off towards an abandoned factory. "Should we go after him?" "Nah, I'm sure he'll be fine. He did survive being shot point blank in the head." "Okay, that officially makes him immortal." "Nonsense, he ages like normal people, I think." "Well let's head into New Appleloosa then. He should be able to find us right?" "Probably. If not then he can handle himself." -----(Back at base camp)----- "Think we should do something other than watch movies and eat popcorn?" one the Initiates lounging around base camp asked. "Nah." replied another. "It's not like we've got anything else to do." "Good point, and cue the explosions." suddenly a large number of explosions could be heard in the distance. "What was that?" "I rigged up a fuckton of satchel charges in the tree line last night." "Why?" "I was bored." "How many did you use?" "All of them." "Most of the tree line is gone isn't it?" "Probably." they decided to switch to an observation drone exploring a desert to see if anything interesting was happening. "Are those Deathclaws?" "No little humans." explained the sentient Deathclaw that accompanied the Warrior. "Those appear to be mutated wildlife." "I'm still not comfortable having a Deathclaw here." "And yet you don't mind the robot." chimed in Rx-44 from where was setting up a long range scanner/communications array. "You're a sentient robot, be lucky we aren't trying to reverse engineer you." "Point taken." "So should we shoot them with missiles for fun?" "Oh look, those winged unicorn thingies." "And it looks like they're attacking those Deathclaw knock offs. Wanna shoot them?" "Sure." "Definitely." "11001101010100011010. Take that bitches." "I can translate binary you know." "Oh shit." "Yeah, I actually can't. Just wanted to see how you would react." "Smartass." "Hehe, stupid winged unicorn thingies, shields won't protect you from missiles." one of the initiates chuckled to himself as he launched missiles at the alicorns attacking the hellhounds. "Stop shooting the inhabitants of this world with near WMD status ordnance." "But it's fun." "And we can see the explosions from here." "Fine. Spoil sport." "Right now that's out of the way, who wants to play a LAN match?" "We don't have any consoles duffus." "I meant who wants to shoot random creatures with LAN rifles in a match to see who can kill the most." "Oh, that sounds much better. What should the points system be?" "Well..." Whilst the Initiates, NCR troopers, and Union Marines were setting out the rules for their game, The Warrior, Lone Wanderer and Xyfor the Deathclaw were planning how to best survive in the new world they found themselves on. Whiile they were scanning topographical readings the deathclaw noticed an old military research base swarming with alicorns as well as a settlement filled those strange deathclaws. "I vote we send out a party to make allies with some of the locals." "Good idea, we need to make allies if we are to survive here." "Good I'll head up a team to contact those deformed deathclaws and see if they're sentient or not." "Why you?" "Because I can handle them with ease if they were to attack." "Well then I'm coming along." "Fine, just try not to kill everything that moves." Suddenly there was an uproarious cheer coming from the others. "Wat are they up to?" asked the Wanderer. "I think they finished planning their little game." "Well they better not be planning on going to that desert place." "We're gonna go kill things in that desert place." "I just had to speak didn't I?" "Could be worse." "And you're not gonna say why it could be worse aren't you?" "Yes, because I don't want it to get worse." "Nope." "What?" "You can go hunting in that forest over there, I'm gonna go head into that desert to see if those deformed deathclaws are sentient." "Ok." After walking away disappointedly the Initiates told the others they couldn't go into the desert by order of Xyfor they all wandered off into the forest. "Isn't that the forest with that blue flower?" "I'm sure they're not that stupid... OH SHIT WE'VE GOTTA GO BRING THEM BACK!" he suddenly exclaimed running towards the forest after the initiates. "Hey Fawkes, wanna help me build some turrets?" "Sure,my new found brothers have agreed to share their knowledge with me." "Ok. I don't think those Union guys would mind if we used one of those Railguns they have do you?" "Probably not." "Good, because once I know this base can be protected with just the initiates and NCR troopers then we can go exploring." "That sounds like a most excellent idea." -----(Outside New Appleloosa)----- "You know I was honestly expecting us to be shot at by a pegasus for something." "Well if you half expect things they'll never happen. Nah I'm just messing with you, it probably would've happened if you were wearing some armor from those raiders and I didn't force you to cross that completely solid rickety bridge." "I'm still going to blame you if something bad happens." "But it won't." he said as a sniper round pierced his wing. "Just had to speak didn't I?" he said before collapsing in pain. "It's ok miss, you're save from whatever that alicorn was planning to do to you." "Um, you just shot the stallion who saved my live in the wing." "Well he quite clearly saved you so he could force to become part of that unity crap." "I'll have you know the Union could easily kick your ass." Chaser retorted whilst his face was in the dirt. "Well you can tell your 'Goddess' where she can shove her unity." the stranger said whilst levelling his shotgun at Chasers head. "I don't know who the fuck this stupid Goddess is you freaks, I just want to go home and forgot I ever came to this stupid dimension in the first place." "You aren't fooling me with you lies you filthy alicorn." "Aren't all alicorns generally female Calamity?" asked a strange pony walking towards them from the town. "Your point being?" "This one's a male and quite clearly doesn't have any magic." "How do you know that?" "Because you'd be dead if it did." "I'm right here you know." pointed out Chaser. "Be quite we're having a discussion you good for nothing alicorn." "I'm a human and if you speak to me like that again I'm shooting you." "You and what army?" "The guy standing behind you with the minigun." Calamity slowly turned around to see the stallion behind him did indeed have a minigun, as well as some strange four barreled missile launcher. "Well you can't use then without a battle saddle so you're shit outta luck, pardner." ""Does anyone even know I'm here?" asked Littlepip. "GAH! Where did you come from?" Calamity exclaimed in surprise. "I've been standing here the entire time, you even acknowledged me after you shot Chaser." "Oh, this is slightly awkward." just then Xyfor skidded to a halt right next to them. "Excuse me. But have you seen a small group of humans running around here?" "No, we haven't. Now get out of here before I shoot you hellhound." "I'll have you know I'm a very well respected Deathclaw scientist in the ranks of the Brotherhood of Steel." "The hell's a Deathclaw?" "Me, but if you don't mind I have a group of idiots to catch up to. I have the feeling they've already done something stupid." and with that he ran off in a random direction. "Strange things are happening around here." "Yes, first the Steel Rangers ran past the town in a blind panic then this lots shows up. Something is clearly going on here." "Can I get some medical attention now?" groaned Chaser. "Fine, we can finish this discussion once you're fully healed." "Good,just get the stimpacks outta my pack and then inject one into my wing." "Ok. What's a stimpack?" "Advanced medicinal technology designed to heal most any wound." "Oh, why don't you have any healing potions?" "Because the last potion I drank ended up with me having my lungs replaced. Though now I don't really need to breath." "Well I'm gonna inject ya now, so hold still." Calamity said whilst preparing an abnormally large stimpack. A few seconds after injecting Chaser, Calamity looed confused. "Shouldn't something be happening by now?" "Did you press the injector?" "Oh, didn't see that." he said before pressing the injector making a hissing sound emanate from it. Watching in awe as Chasers wing quickly and efficiently healed itself Calamity spoke up. "So I take your not from around these parts?" "Not even from the same dimension." "Dimension?" "We aren't from your world, well except Littlepip here, we sorta saved her from by cannibalism." "Well, then you're ok in my book." he said whilst Chaser stood back up. "Say ya want me to rig up a battle saddle for your weapons?" "Sure, I'd really like to be able to use these weapons." "Certainly, should only take me a day to make you one." "Brilliant, in the mean time I'll just kick that wall over there." he said whilst walking towards a wall that was left over from a pre-war house. "I honestly don't think that will do any good." "Well I'm bored so it'll suffice." He said whilst preparing to kick the wall. "If ya say so, don't go crying to me if you break a bone." just then The Courier unleashed a kick on the wall which sent it flying back several meters. "You were saying?" "Why aren't you hurt?" "Saturnite reinforced bones. I knew those floating brains were good for something." "Whats Saturnite?" "A redundantly strong alloy designed by the think tank, also conducts heat very well." "Well. We'd better take you to the clinic to see if you have any lasting damage." -----(At City One in the first dimension)----- "So basically what you're saying is that one of our most promising Lieutenants is now effectively trapped in another dimension?" "Yes sir." "Well the I'm reactivating project Nimbus and you are going to take the 3rd Fleet intoo the dimension he's trapped in and bring him back, then set up relations with the local sentient lifeforms. Am I understood?" "Yes sir. It will take an estimated twenty days to find the dimension he's in, and a further six days until we can extablish a permanent connection." "Good, in the mean time I shall be ordering an increase in the production of handheld Ion Rifles and Ceramide Power Suits and I shall also order the construction of two Tormentor Main Battle tanks. Dismissed!" After closing the holo link General Adam-Lieu sighed. "Great, another Indonesia Incident. well I should probably order an O.N.E.C to provide orbital support in the other dimension." -----(At the New Appleloosa clinic)----- Chaser suddenly shuddered as a cold chill when down his spine. "Oh come off it t now, my alcoholic medicines aren't that bad." "It's not that, I think someone mentioned an O.N.E.C." "What's that?" "A weapon of unimaginable power, designed to bring unending fire power to the battlefield." "Oh, that sounds dangerous." "Yeah, but it's orbitally based." "Huh, I guess I'm drunker than I thought I was, coz it sounded like you just said you have access to orbital weaponry." "That's because I did say my government has orbital weapons platforms." "Damn, where's this government of yours reside anyway?" "Another planet." "I'm most definitely drunk if I'm talking to an alien alicorn." ""I'm not really an alicorn, just touched a blue flower and got turned into this." "You survived poison joke? Damn you're lucky." just then Xyfor burst into the room. "No one panic! The initiates have just been turned into dragons." "And the Troopers?" "Dragons." "And the Marines?" "Even bigger dragons, that breath smaller dragons." "Really?" "No." "Aww." "They got turned into griffons." "Well at least they'll have the use of hands." "Well I', just gonna let the others know, also Griffoth should be stopping by soon." "Ok." and with that Xyfor rushed out of the room and headed towards base camp. "You know some truly strange creatures." remarked Calamity. "I'm still concerned as to how he keeps finding me." "Good point."