//------------------------------// // Intermission 1 // Story: Performers and Portrayers // by JapaneseTeeth //------------------------------// Intermission 1 “The number of factual inaccuracies is quite unfortunate, but I suppose that's to be expected from something put together on such short notice,” Twilight said. “It's too bad they didn't ask me for help sooner; I could have put together a fully sourced list of references for them to utilize.” “I think they did pretty well, considering they're a bunch of schoolfoals.” Applejack chuckled. “I guess that Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns didn't really have a school play.” “No, it did. The Princess said that my portrayal of Star Swirl the Bearded was one of the most accurate she had ever seen.” “Why am I not surprised?” Applejack rolled her eyes. “I thought it was good.” Fluttershy mumbled. “I liked the bit with the cloud.” “Yeah, it was pretty hilarious when it fell.” Rainbow Dash descended into the midst of the group. She held a large bucket of popcorn. “Here's your box of Nerds, Twilight.” She dropped the box of tangy candy on Twilight's head. “And here's your eclair.” She made to drop it on Rarity, but the white unicorn snatched the pastry out of the air. “Thank you, Rainbow Dash,” she said, half sarcastically. “I do think the foals are doing quite well, although I would have hoped that my sister would actually know how I speak.” “I dunno, I think she pretty much nailed it.” Rainbow Dash gave Rarity a playful jab in the ribs. “I most certainly do not pointlessly enunciate random words,” Rarity snorted. “What are you talking about? For a moment I thought it was actually you up there!” Pinkie said. “And Apple Bloom totally got me right! I should really try that thing with the balloons on my tail.” Rarity shook her head and turned away. “What did you think, Applejack?” she asked. I suppose you probably don't care for your own portrayal. They got your trademark hat all wrong, after all.” “Nah, I don't care too much about that. I'm a bit more worried about what they got goin' on backstage right now.” Rarity turned an ear to the stage. The buzz and whirr of numerous “too dangerous for young colts and fillies to use”-type tools could be clearly heard over the sound of the crowd chattering as they made their way back to their seats. As a matter of fact, a distressingly large plume of smoke billowed out from behind the curtains. “I really hope nopony hurts themselves with whatever they're doin' back there.” Applejack muttered. “Pssh, they'll be fine!” Rainbow Dash answered through a mouthful of popcorn. “Cheerilee's probably got everything”— An enormous crash from from behind the curtain silenced her, and everypony else who heard it— “under control.” As they stared at the stage, Truffle Shuffle ambled out once again, his mane slightly singed around the edges. He held up his sign. “Act 2 will begin in 5 minutes.” “I told you trying to make the Discord costume breathe fire was a bad idea!” Apple Bloom rubbed her forehead as she surveyed the remains of the prototype flame delivery system. “You almost burned the set down!” “And more importantly, you almost singed my mane!” Diamond Tiara held up her rainbow wig, which had a rather large, charred hole in it. “If I hadn't had this stupid thing on my head my mane could have been burned off! I could be bald right now!” “Oh, just relax!” Scootaloo said. “You should just be glad that the thing worked! It wasn't that big of a fireball.” “Easy for you to say! You weren't standing at the end of that contraption that the flames came out of!” She thrust a hoof at the twisted and distorted chunk of metal that had been a heavily modified blowtorch just moments earlier. “And it didn't work! When things work properly they don’t explode!” “Hey, I told you to get out of the way before I tested it!” Sweetie Belle gingerly prodded the device, making sure it had cooled down enough to pick up. “We just turned the power up too high is all.” “It's still a dumb idea,” Diamond Tiara grumbled. “Yeah, it's not like Discord even breathes fire.” Silver Spoon assumed the posture and voice of someone who was trying too hard to sound smart. “He's a draconequus, not an actual dragon. He didn't breathe fire.” “He totally could have!” Sweetie Belle retorted. “He's like the embodiment of chaos or whatever, isn't he? If he wanted to breathe fire I bet he could have. Breathing fire isn't any weirder than making chocolate rain.” “Although I guess it would make more sense if he breathed like, banana crème pie filling or something, though,” Scootaloo said, scratching her head. “Probably would have been easier to rig up something like that.” “Besides, it's not like we're really goin' for accuracy anyway,” Apple Bloom said. “It's not like my sister really wears a giant sombrero or nothin'. We just kinda had to go with what we got.” “So the first thing you thought of was building a flamethrower?” Diamond Tiara's eyebrow twitched. “You guys are even dumber than I thought.” “You're the one who wanted to be in charge of the set design,” Scootaloo said. “You coulda done the costumes if you wanted.” “And looking at how things turned out, maybe she should have.” Silver Spoon sniffed snootily. Her eyes darted to the flamethrower, to Diamond Tiara's wig, and then to the large swath of twisted burlap that was supposed to be Discord. “I mean, a sombrero? Really?” “It's not our fault Applejack wouldn't let us borrow her hat.” “Probably because she knew that you'd set it on fire or something dumb.” “I'd take good care of my sister's hat!” Apple Bloom snorted indignantly. Diamond Tiara opened her mouth for another volley of insults, but clamped it shut as she saw Cheerilee's head poke into the prep area. “Act 2 starts in three minutes!” She chirped, oblivious to the backstage strife. “But wait, we're not-” Apple Bloom barely got through the first word before Cheerilee vanished. “Oh, fiddle.” She turned to Silver Spoon. “I guess you better get into costume. Sorry 'bout the itchiness.” “I never should have let you do the costumes,” the gray earth pony grumbled.