ACT ONE
FADE IN:
EXT. BENSON’S PARK - FRONT PORCH, PRESENT - DAY
(SUBTITLE)
Present day, 2012
Benson, the anthropomorphic gumball machine and the boss of the park, stands outside giving orders as usual. The whole team, including Mordecai, Rigby, Pops, Skips, Muscleman, and Hi-Five Ghost all sit on the porch with their attention on him.
BENSON
(Glances at the team) Alright so you guys, I have an announcement to make, and this is good news. City High School is having a class reunion out here this evening at the park, and I'm getting paid for it.
RIGBY
Aw yes! (hi-fives Mordecai)
Both of them face Benson again, fazed.
MORDECAI
Wait. How is that good news?
BENSON
I never said it was good news to you.
A momentary silence and a trade of facial expressions make Benson restate his comment.
BENSON (CONT'D)
(Sighs and facepalms) Though if you do everything right for once, I'll make it up to you.
RIGBY
How ‘bout mid-night video game privileges?
BENSON
Fine, whatever, just do your jobs this time.
Skimming his clipboard, Benson announces everyone's roles.
BENSON (CONT'D)
Skips, Pops, you two are in charge of the decorations. Muscleman and Hi-Five Ghost, you're in charge of the sound system.
MORDECAI
And what are we in charge of?
BENSON
You and Rigby? I hate to say it, but you two are gonna be in charge of baking.
MORDECAI
Baking? (stammers) But I've hardly baked before!
RIGBY
Um, I did. A while ago. It's easy.
Benson tosses a dessert cookbook off-screen with colored tabs sticking out of it. Mordecai catches it at the “palm” of his wings.
BENSON
Here. (leaving the scene) I tabbed all the desserts they ordered. This isn't really something you can screw up since the directions are right in front of you. There'll be doughnuts, cupcakes, cookies, oh and finally (turns around)...a chocolate pudding cake.
The sound of those last three words together made Rigby's pupils dilate, then shatter.
BENSON (CONT'D)
Just don't mess it up. I'm outta here. (leaves the scene)
MORDECAI
(without eye contact) Rigby, I'm gonna need some serious help with this one. Cool?FADE TO:
BLACK
FADE IN:
INT. BENSON'S HOUSE - THE KITCHEN - AFTERNOON
With the sun now fully above the horizon, Mordecai scurries through each room multiple times in the search for Rigby, who apparently vanished.
MORDECAI
Rigby! Rigby! Where'd you go? We have to start baking now if we're gonna get midnite video games!
Mordecai continues calling his name, now searching through hiding spots in each room instead of general viewing areas.
MORDECAI (CONT'D)
Rigby! (voice growing nerved) This isn't funny anymore! We're gonna get in a lot of trouble for not getting this done! And I can't do this by myself cause I don't know how!
At the edge of giving up the search and avoiding the possibility of getting fired, Mordecai enters the kitchen again to bake everything himself. He steps to the counter to pick up the cook book where he left it, only to find a sloppily written note on a page ripped out of spiral bound notebook resting on top of the cook book. Uneased by the possible outcome, Mordecai reads it.
Frazzled with fury, Mordecai blares out loud at himself.
MORDECAI
OH THAT'S JUST UNCALLED FOR.
A clock transition shows his desperate attempt at cooking. He mutters, reading the book.
MORDECAI (CONT'D)
Hmmmm. Let’s see here. (reading aloud) 'Set the oven to 350 degrees' (Turns the knob on the oven accordingly) Got it. This isn't that bad!
Confident about his progress, Mordecai finds himself more contempt.
MORDECAI (CONT'D)
'And then beat oil... '
Mordecai grasps the bottle of corn oil and closed-fist punches it.
MORDECAI (CONT'D)
(Rereading his mistake) Ohhhh. 'Then beat oil, sugar, eggs, and milk in a large mixing bowl.' That makes more sense!
To correct his mistake, Mordecai puts the concerning ingredients in a mixing bowl. Then Mordecai grasps the mixing bowl and closed-fist punches it.CUT TO:
BLACK
FADE IN:
EXT. MORDECAI'S TENT - NIGHT
On the front lawn of Benson's house, a tent was pitched for the two friends. DISSOLVE TO:
I/E. MORDECAI'S TENT - SLEEPING AREA - NIGHT
Rigby is intensively playing the video game on the portable TV from his sleeping bag. Mordecai lays watching, with his arms crossed in disappointment. Five seconds of silence precede their conversation.
RIGBY
What?
MORDECAI
Oh Nothing.
RIGBY
Oh.
A few seconds of silence return with the pitter-patter of buttons from Rigby playing his video game.
RIGBY (CONT'D)
You know you didn't do too bad. The chocolate chip cookies turned out fine.
MORDECAI
Those weren't chocolate chip; I dropped them on the floor!
RIGBY
Dude, lighten up. You have nothing to worry about now.
MORDECAI
Other than what happened this morning? Other than Benson kicking us out of the house for the night? Other than my new food poisoning record? Other than the nerve you had, to just go "I'm going with my 'girlfriend'?" Do you have any idea that we (raises voice) actually could've been fired this time? I'm tired of taking the blame of all the problems you set me up for.
RIGBY
Oh. Chelsea? She's not my girlfriend anymore.
MORDECAI
Wait. She actually is real?
RIGBY
Yeah, I just looked for a girl named Chelsea after I wrote the note! I broke up with her today. Don't get defensive on me just because ya can't get none yourself!
Mordecai didn't find that amusing.
MORDECAI
I'm not jeal- (stammers) I mean ok I guess I'm a little jealous about that, but, (pauses) my argument is still valid. And on top of that, you break up with her on the same night? You're weird. Remember Jasmine? Your first crush on someone?
Rigby pauses the video game to make eye contact.
RIGBY
(exasperated) Don't you ever! Ever! Ever bring up my Jasmine in something like that! I was like, twelve! So what that I never actually talked to her! What have you been up to then? Hmmm? Where's your girlfriends been in the past ten years? Is it your looks that've been holding you back? No, It's your attitude! (scoffs) Well, it might be, I mean, it's a tough life when your dad was a human that fell in love with the blue Angry Bird and you have to live as the offspring of such a horrific outcome-
Though Mordecai was already dumbfounded, Rigby is interrupted by a nearby lightning strike. Mordecai turns around for reasons unknown to Rigby yet.
MORDECAI
(Struggling to close the zipper on the screen) Rigby?
RIGBY
See? Even the clouds are agreeing that I just pulled the biggest burn on ya-
MORDECAI
Rigby!
The TV sparks, and smoke hisses from the speaker terminals.
RIGBY
Yo what happened to the TV?
A meteor shower is seen in the background through the mesh of the tent.
MORDECAI
Rigby, you drillbit! You left the door open! The TV shorted from the rain!
Camera looks down, revealing that the tent was flooded, and the sleeping bags were actually floating on top.
RIGBY
(defensively stammering) But I closed it!
MORDECAI
Correction: You closed the mosquito mesh, not the screen. Numbskull.
Rigby slumps forward, accepting the blame as he facepalms himself. An intense crash rumbles the earth as the two are startled to draw their attention outside the tent.
RIGBY
What are we gonna do now?
MORDECAI
"We"? Really? After- (another meteor strike briefly pauses him) flooding the tent, and kicking us out of the house, you still have the nerve to rely on (startled by a 3rd meteor crash) me for a plan B?
Facing the house, the left bedroom window opens. Benson, the boss of the team, is revealed behind the translucent glass.
BENSON
Guys, you're gonna get killed out here. Now would be a good time to get in the house, before I get filed a lawsuit for this.
Benson closes the window and his translucent shadow behind the glass fades.
MORDECAI
*Sighs* Let's just forget video games tonight and just hit the bunks; I'm not in the mood for this.
RIGBY
What bunks?
MORDECAI
(forsaken groan) You know what I'm saying.
Both Mordecai and Rigby are stopped in their tracks by a bleeping ball, flashing red.
RIGBY
(mutters) Or maybe we wont.
The ball releases a funnel of dark matter, engulfing both Mordecai and Rigby in its path. They both scream throughout the free-fall into white light at the end of the whirling tunnel. Mordecai flops full-body into a cement column and Rigby somersaults out like a tumbleweed.
EXT. MARBLE CASTLE - SIDE ENTRANCE - DAY
After regaining consciousness, both Mordecai and Rigby find themselves on a lawn in front of a non-weathered two-tone castle in front of an iron double door secured with unarmed guards.
RIGBY
A-am I dead?
MORDECAI
I don't think this is what being dead looks like.
A quick pan leads a fullscreen shot of the whole city, revealing that it's unprecariously embedded on a cliff.
MORDECAI (CONT'D)
Let's just ask someone where we're- are those horses wearing knight armor?
Rigby approaches one of the armed guards.
RIGBY
Hey do you mind telling us where we're at?
An unanswered silence was enough to draw his attention again.
RIGBY (CONT'D)
That was a question. (Still nothing, Rigby exasperatedly yells) Why won't you answer me? (Chuckles) Oh I feel like such an idiot-
MORDECAI
(Flat interruption) Because you are one.
RIGBY
No, because they're stuffed. Haven't you ever heard of this before? They take the skin off a dead animal and make a statue out of it. (Climbs on the guard) Then they dress them up. Giddy up horsey-
The guard, making its first movement, bucks Rigby off his back, catapulting him to the same column that Mordecai hit, but Rigby on the other hand, went head first and went instantly unconscious. Cut to black on impact.
INT. TWILIGHT’S LIBRARY - BEDROOM - DAY
The scene opens from Rigby's perspective, who awakens on a lumber bed with Mordecai staring at him.
RIGBY
Mordecai. Ah I had the weirdest dream.
Twilight Sparkle trots over to greet Rigby.
TWILIGHT SPARKLE
Hi!
Her welcome wagon startles him off the bed, claws clinching him to the timber ceiling.
RIGBY
(Shudders) Candy colored talking unicorns? What kind of backwards universe is this?
MORDECAI
No it's okay! It's okay! And you're lucky that everything just happened to work out. This chick...erm...pony used to go to the princess' school. So until their teachers, or whomever they get in touch with, make some sort of spell that can take us home, we're supposed to live here.
Twilight nods her head in agreement. Releasing himself from the bed, Rigby lands on Mordecai's head.
TWILIGHT SPARKLE
I set up a bed in the living room for you to sleep. Though I will need you to give me some info about what happened. But don't worry about it now. Just make yourself at home.
RIGBY
Awww so we actually are stuck in this universe? Ahh crap.
TWILIGHT SPARKLE
(Unamused) Well we did give you a free place to stay; you could at least thank us for that.
RIGBY
(Heading downstairs) Us?
Losing his balance, Rigby falls off the open staircase, but his fall is saved by a cyan pegasus pony who makes her first onscreen appearance.
RAINBOW DASH
Trust me, we both know what it's like to be far away from home, but seriously, it's not that bad. Take a look around for yourself.
RIGBY
(Sighs) Fine, it's not like we had anything else planned today.FADE TO:
BLACK
FADE IN:
INT. LONGHORN BAR - TABLE OF NINE - NIGHT
Opening shot: fade in to a popular sandwich bar/restaurant with a unicorn pony statue standing on its hind legs. Then it fades to the table view of Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, Spike, Rigby, and Mordecai all seated at the same circle table.
RIGBY
...And-then-and-then, we were like 'Immunity Sword which is immune to all rule changes' and BAM! He went down. Guess he couldn't handle our awesomeness.
BOTH MORDECAI AND RIGBY
Ooooooooohhhhhhhh!
APPLEJACK
Heavens to Betsy. It doesn't sound like your universe is all the best at being um...how the hay should I put this?
RAINBOW DASH
Laid-back?
FLUTTERSHY
Friendly?
RARITY
Psshhh. Rational?
TWILIGHT SPARKLE
Considerate?
SPIKE
Fun?
PINKIE PIE
Like party-ev'ry-day-fun?
MORDECAI
Oh come on! Plenty of people on Earth have made a living by spreading the will to "party every day"!
Screen briefly cuts to a photo of Gene Simmons from KISS
MORDECAI (CONT'D)
Besides, it's usually us and Muscleman who fall under that category. We usually end up taking the blame for everything. Wanna hear about the hot dog story?
RARITY
I don't wanna hear anymore of this. If you ladies excuse me, I'll be in the fillies’ room. (Leaves the table)
RIGBY (TO RARITY)
(Raises voice) Well if you're done, can I have the rest of your diced apples?
APPLEJACK (TO RIGBY)
Those are potatoes.
Mordecai falls out of his hay-seat, broken into uncontrollable laughter.
MORDECAI
(Still laughing) He seriously thought those potatoes were apples! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It hurts! It hurts!
RIGBY
(Grimaces Mordecai) Anyways...(Picks up the mustard bottle from the table.) You should have seen what we did to the talking hot dogs! They were gonna take over the world. They were gonna eat us alive! And I was like, no you're gonna eat yourselves alive, ya sick lameos!
Rigby pounds the yellow bottle to the table gushing a stream of mustard, heading offscreen. Consequently, a gargly deep voice was enough to pause the conversation.
WORKHORSE (O.S.)
Alright, which one of you scumbags did this to my face?
With an anticipated close-up, a camera pan reveals a beefed up, well fit workhorse who was over five feet tall with a burgundy coat, and a cutie mark of boxing gloves. To avoid any involvement, everypony within that divider of the restaurant pointed hooves at Rigby. Dropping his mustard bottle on the floor out of impending doom, Rigby drew everypony's attention with eye contact and utter silence.
The workhorse answered without words. He snatches two beef tomatoes offered by the diamond dogs, who are the only ones still facing each other, giggling. The workhorse proceeds and chucks the ripest at Rigby's face.
RIGBY
(Distraught scream) OWWWWW! (wipes the seeded juice off his face)
The workhorse charges back his arm for the next round but is interrupted mid-throw. Cutting to a close-up of Mordecai, his war face turns on and throws a whole pineapple that was heavy enough to knock him off balance without even bruising. He topples the workhorse to the ground. The tomato heads off target, hitting that one bearded tennis pony at the back of the head, while the pineapple splatted on the ground, pulsing a wave of pineapple juice between Lyra's table and the spa twins' table.
LYRA (O.S.)
My poodle skirt! Somepony's paying me for a new skirt!
Bon-Bon takes Lyra's side out of naiveity and aimlessly chucks a grapefruit behind her booth with uncontrollable rage. Eventually the now widespread food fight becomes detailed beyond comprehension of a single witness.
A projectile jelly-melon nearly tips Applejack's hat before its spikes cling it to their table.
APPLEJACK
These rootin-tootin trouble makers really have lost their marbles.
RAINBOW DASH (to EVERYPONY)
(Stands at a vulnerable height) What in the hay do you all think this is? A cartoon show?!
Rainbow Dash gets smacked in the face with a whole breakfast dish, with the egg yolks covering her eyes and home fries covering her mouth like teeth, making a mask over her own face. Incidently, Fluttershy already fled the scene while nopony was looking.
PINKIE PIE (TO RAINBOW)
Ya gonna eat that?
RIGBY
You know what? Let's just get the hell outta here. This is just beyond ridiculous.
TWILIGHT SPARKLE
My sentiments exactly.
The ponies leave the restaurant, standing at the front door.
FLUTTERSHY
Wait! Where's Rarity?
RIGBY
She was still in the bathroom!
The front door opens again, revealing Rarity, with her head slouched over her front legs.
RARITY
(Hinting sarcasm) Oh I thank you such good friends for (lifts head) KEEPING MY COAT GOREGOUS AND PROTECTED!
She lifts her head, revealing the repulsive mess she actually meant. There was a mini pizza face-down on her chest sticking by the dangling cheese, a blotch of spaghetti sauce on her neck, cherry punch stains from her hooves to her shinbones, and a smeared cheesecake face-down on her short snout.
RIGBY
(Trying to change the subject) So I work tomorrow, Twilight? Because after this day, I've come to the conclusion that I'd rather be working than touring anywhere else.
PINKIE PIE
Yeah fuzz-ball! You get to work with me!
APPLEJACK
(turns her head) And blue feathered one? You get to work with me.
MORDECAI
Heh working for ponies. Something I never thought I'd be doing. This is gonna be interesting.
Camera fades to black as the pony crew leaves the restaurant.
END OF ACT ONE