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Rainbow Dash awoke slowly…
Another sleepless night…
She stood wearily and trudged towards the mirror to examine herself. Yep, just like usual large bags under her eyes and a very unkempt mane. She ran a comb lazily through her mane thinking that it would suffice and walked to her cloud laden bedroom. She examined the room and determined the room looked infinitely more cheerful during the daytime rather than the unforgiving shadows and endless movement of the night. Today she had the day off because her manager noticed the utter fatigue that Dash was experiencing . She decided to take this opportunity to relax and visit her bitter rival and closest friend, AppleJack.
As she flew sloppily to Sweet Apple Acres she tried to recount the events that occurred last night. She had been laying in bed quietly reading Sports Fillystrated when she had made the decision to turn off the lights and begin her sleep. With the lights off the shadows began to creep around her swallowing her in utter darkness. Her breathing began to become heavier as she could feel herself hyperventilating. Then came that calming voice.
“Hello, Rainbow Dash… This is the organization leader, Jared… Your report?”
“Yes sir,” she said ignoring the chaos of shadows and moonlight going on around her as she focused on today’s activity, “AppleJack is trying to gain my trust, possibly to gain access to the organizations secrets, and I am slipping into this trap admittedly”
“FOAL! She is going to be the downfall of this establishment and you are going to let her in like she ACTUALLY loves you. You’re nothing! I believe you couldn’t even reproduce a sonic rainboom if you tried it again. You are a lazy, incompetent, dim-witted fool, Rainbow Dash, and you will never amount to anything.”
The rest she remembers was a constant barrage of insults. One after another, destroying her self esteem and all confidence she had. But she was Rainbow Dash, the coolest and fasted pony in all of equestrian. Nothing could keep her down for very long.
She hadn’t told anyone about the organization because she was commanded not to, but that did not make them any less there. She didn’t want to tell anyone anyway, telling her friends that she had telepathy would just make her seem crazy and that was not cool. With this thought she passed by AppleJack without even noticing the orange earth ponies existence.
“Howdy sug-… uh…” She said as she watched hey fly sleepily by her. She’s raised an eyebrow in response to her cluelessness.
“OH! Hey AJ! Whats up? I was just dropping in to say ‘hi’.” She said hoping AppleJack wouldn’t think very much of her odd flight patterns. She turned to face AppleJack and was dumbfounded by her rough beauty. Sweat gleamed off of her pelt like glistening stars and her hat tilted ever so slightly, shaded her eyes from the unforgiving sun.
“Rainbow? Watcha lookin’ at sugarcube?” She said breaking the silence, as she blushed softly on her golden cheeks.
“Me? Oh… um… nothing I was just… you know tired and… daydreamin’ and all… why?” She was stuttering and faltering in her speech. What was it about this pony that made her so flustered? She couldn’t collect her thought thoroughly in the first attempt; she had to try multiple times to get it right.
“Oh nothin’ ya just look alittle outta it S’all… ya sure yer feelin’ quite alright?” She asked inquisitively
“Oh I-i-I don’t know AJ… I j-j-just don’t sleep well you k-k-know?” Damn stuttering… She breathed trying to gain some composure so she could speak to her beloved without sounding like a foal. She felt like she could confide in this mare. Like she could confide anything to her and it would be alright. But she didn’t want to worry her too much so she attempted to ease her friends worries with, “Just I don’t sleep well at night, a lot of stuff on my mind you know? But I’m the toughest pony in all of Equestria! This is nothing the incredible Rainbow Dash can’t handle!”
- - -
AppleJack woke up that morning to a beautiful, but semi-cloudy, day…
‘Rainbow must have the day off today’ she thought to herself ‘That filly worries me somthin’ fierce’
While working in the fields, making sure her beloved apple trees were growing properly she began to recount her visit with Twilight.
Rainbow Dash had been acting funny and AppleJack had decided to seek advice from Ponyville’s favourite bookworm, Twilight.
Twilight was silently studying away, as usual. AppleJacks, head swam in worry about Rainbow Dash’s condition and as she walked up to the tree in which Twilight Sparkle lived she began to collect some questions to ask her to get a better idea as to what she is dealing with. Twilight was reading in a corner, studying for something AppleJack was unsure of, and she sprung on the occasion to ask her some questions about her favourite fillies behavior.
“Hey Twi,” She began peering through the door, she wiped her hoofs as Rarity taught her and entered when Twilight welcomed her in her library.
“Hey AppleJack, it’s wonderful seeing you here. What brings you by my place?” She said beaming a smile in AppleJacks direction.
“Welp, ta be honest, I need yer smarts ta help me figer somethin’ out iffin ya don’t mind” she said exercising her element of honesty.
“Is it about Rainbow Dash?” Twilight knowingly replied.
“NO! Well… erm.. Yes but how’dja know?” She was dumbfounded by Twilights incredible guessing skills that would leave Pinkie Pie disgraced.
“You and Rainbow Dash seem to care about each other A LOT”” making sure she emphasized the last word to be sure that it sunk in as to what she was implying.
“T’ain’t mean nothing, we’re… just good friends S’all” AppleJack snapped back quickly telling the truth without actually telling the truth.
“Oh alright… If you say so. You needed something correct?”
“Erm… yes… About Rainbow, she seems to have somethin’ wrong with’er head. She’s not all there ya know? It seems ta me that she never sleeps unless the sun is out. She talks in a jumbled fashion an she accuses me of spying on her nearly every day. Not ta mention her complete lack of hie-jean. Oh and it seems like she’s always askin’ me ‘Didja hear that’ like she’s hearin’ somethin’ I can’t hear, ya know?” She said listing all the things that bothered her about her, otherwise perfect, Rainbow Dash. Her beautiful multi-coloured mane, her fluffy wings; a comforting joy when they had their cuddling sessions. She snorted softly as she remembered Rainbow Dash’s wings nasty habit of rising when they got too friendly. Her attention returned to Twilight as she began to speak.
“Well, that sounds quite serious, sounds to me like we need help from a certain text that I had just acquired from Pons Cortex” She said as she began to peruse through the thousands of books she had in the library.
“Ya mean the psychiatrist pony from the loony bin? Rainbow Dash ain’t no madpony Twilight” Applejack said getting defensive
“I never said she was, it just seems to be something going on with her mind. Nothing a good night’s sleep won’t help I am quite sure. Ugh” She magicked a few more books aside, not being able to locate the book she was searching for on the shelves “Spike! Where is my copy of A Massive Manuel of the Marvelous Mind?!”
Spike walked into the libraries main room wearing his apron, his duster clenched in his claws.
“Didn’t you leave it on the podium over there?” He said gesturing to an open book laying on the podium in plain sight. “Sheesh Twilight you would lose you head if it wasn’t attached to you.”
“Thank you spike… You truly are my number one assistant, sarcastic comments and all. Now may me and Applejack have a moment in private?” She magicked the book over to a table where she flipped through the pages, as spike left the room in a huff. “Oh dear… It seems that most of what you said matches a disorder named Unregistered Schizophrenia.”
“Unregistered who’s-a-what now?” AppleJack asked honestly confused and worried.
“Unregistered schizophrenia.” she repeated sighing as she prepared herself to inform her friend of the disturbing news. “It’s one of a list of psychological disorders. This list contains: Paranoid Schizophrenia, Disorganized Schizophrenia, Catatonic Schizophrenia, Residual Schizophrenia, and Unregistered Schizophrenia. Since the symptoms you listed seem to come from two of these categories she gets put into the “unregistered” group. It’s a very difficult disorder to live with and she is going to need all the help she can get as this illness gets worse... there is a possibility that somepony with this disorder can live a full and happy life with regularly scheduled therapy and a perfectly tailored dosage of medication. All you have to do is figure out whether or not she has this last symptom. This could determine if she has this disorder or just severe depression. Both bad to have, but one significantly better than the other.”
“She will never confess to it though… she likes to keep her cool-headed appearance” She mumbled the last bit to herself
“Welp, what’s the symptom, sugarcube?” she asked worried about what she would hear.
Twilight replied in a solemn tone,
“Hearing voices….”
- - -
She snapped back into reality as she realized she had been on auto-pony for three hours now. Looking off into the distance, she decided to take her break. She squinted her eyes and noticed a cyan Pegasus sleepily making her way toward her barn. She quickly began to check her appearance in the first reflective surface she could find. Staring at a bucket, she looked at her warped face trying to make out whether or not she was presentable. She gave up this task as the rainbow maned mare flew right past her. Confused, she turned around to look at the exhausted mare.
“Howdy sug- uh…” Realizing she hadn’t even recognized her existence. Something was off and she knew it wasn’t simply sleep deprivation.
Rainbow Dash stopped in mid-flight and responded “Oh! Hey AJ! What’s up? I was just dropping by to say ‘hi’” When she spun around she seemed awestruck by something. Applejack blushed as she realized she was directly in front of her gaze.
“Rainbow? Watcha lookin’ at sugarcube?” praying she would admit to looking at her, but to her disappointment responded with:
“Me? Oh… um… nothing I was just… you know tired and… daydreamin’ and all… why?” Rainbow Dash seemed to be lying but instead of pressing the matter she decidedly pushed towards her goal of getting to the bottom of Rainbow Dash’s troubles.
“Oh nothin’ ya jus’ look alittle outta it S’all… Ya sure yer feelin quite alright?” she asked hoping to get the silly filly to open up a little. In that case she could understand more of what is going on in the sad Pegasus’ life.
“Oh I-i-I don’t know AJ… I j-j-just don’t sleep well you k-k-know?” Applejack was glad she was opening up, flattered by her effect on the poor pony’s tongue, and hoped she would continue. Unfortunately this was not Rainbow Dash’s nature, to open up and exchange feelings; she felt it weak and totally uncool. “Just I don’t sleep well at night, a lot of stuff on my mind you know? But I’m the toughest pony in all of Equestria! This is nothing the incredible Rainbow Dash can’t handle!”
Just as she had feared she was putting on this façade to cover her internal hurt.
It’s ok…
AppleJack was an expert at honesty…
- - -
‘Maybe she’ll chew on that lie like she chews on straw’ Rainbow dash thought to herself. But she knew that this clearly wasn’t going to be the case.
“Rainbow you an Ah both know that yer strugglin’” AppleJack said with a concerned look slapped across her face.
“Maybe I am but I can handle myself, dude, seriously I don’t need your help.”
“Just scream your feelings out to her; she is just trying to trick you into giving away our position. Push her away before she gets too close. You’re letting her in Rainbow Dash don’t let her get into your mind. She may even be reading your thoughts right now and you’re just letting her do it.”
Her eyes grew as wide as saucers as her wings dropped and a knot formed in her stomach. The world grew hazy as panic gripped her in its deadly hands. She whipped her head around to locate the origin of the voice, but she knew this all too well. This was her telepathy and AppleJack would soon be finding out about it. She was in her mind picking at her every thought; stealing the thoughts away with a syringe.
“Are you O.K. sugarcube?” as a sly expression overcame the fake concern that RainbowDash now decoded. And she had the nerve to pretend like she didn’t know what was going on. “Ya look like yer gunna be sick.” She continued.
She knew! She found out about her realization that AppleJack was in her mind. She couldn’t let her pry into her secrets any longer; she had to escape. She began to view her escapes and the only thing she could see was the wide barn door. AppleJack was in the way. She began formulating escape plans and what she would do if AppleJack got too close. She concluded that the most effective was to just shoot for the door as fast as her wings could carry her, minimizing a fight with the love of her life and escaping as well. But first she had to make sure AppleJack didn’t suspect her plans, which was tough seeing that she was already reading her thoughts.
“Um… Ya… Just got a bit sick to my stomach, no biggie” Rainbow Dash said as she skewered a smile onto her face.
‘This has to throw her off so she will back down and I can get away safely.’ She thought to herself.
“RUN! She’s going to find out and who know what she is going to do with the information! You will be doomed to a life of laboratory tests and imprisonment.”
“Come’ere babe lets git you some water” AppleJack approached RainbowDash, hoof extended, in a movement to capture her before she could leave. This wasn’t going according to plan AppleJack needed to back off so that she could make it to the door safely without plowing through AppleJack. But if that’s what it came to…
“She’s coming for you; you are no match for her might.”
“Don’t come near me AppleJack” RainbowDash said as she retreated into the corner of the barn for safety. From here she could clearly see the door. It was now or never, she had to get away now or she would never make it out alive.
“Sugarcube what’sa matter yer startin’ ta scare me” AppleJack continued to make her move towards RainbowDash threatening to take her life. “Ah’m jus’ here ta help. Tell me what’sa matter”
“LIES!”
“LIES!! You’re just trying to get information! I know your tricks!!” RainbowDash unleashed her fear and rage in those few phrases and bolted for the door. She tried to take but flight but realized she didn’t move an inch. She looked behind her and, just a suspected, her tail was clenched in between the orange earth ponies teeth. She was furious and put all of her power into bucking behind her with her hind legs.
Contact.
AppleJack staggered back, her face contorted in an expression in between shock and pain. Blood dribbled from her lips and she nearly collapsed on the floor.
“GOOD! Now do it again RainbowDash!”
“NO!” She screamed as she dashed towards the barn door once again. This time she successfully flew into the sky. She dove into the heavens where she was safe at last. RainbowDash wept. The sobs racked her body all the way through to the core. Her mind tattered and torn between two worlds; two realities. She floated through the air bent and broken.
Somebody was approaching and she doesn’t know which side this person is on, nor did she want anybody to see her the way she was. She had to make it back home. She slowly fluttered towards her home trying her best not to fall out of the sky. She avoided all contact with other pegasi and landed on her front porch in the sky.
She tore through the door and headed up to her room. Glancing back behind her more than a few times; just in case she was followed She landed on her bed with her single blanket and curled up under it. She rested her head on her cloud pillow and began to sob again. She rocked herself under the blanket as Jared insulted her for not beating AppleJack to death. But she didn’t care she realized what she had done was unexcusable even if AppleJack was trying to kill her first. She was the element of loyalty and she showed none of those traits as of right now.
Her mind returned to the wounded AppleJack and her tears began to run dry because they were completely expended. Through the sputtering breath and the tear stained lips the only words that escaped her mouth were:
“I’m sorry”
- - -
“Rainbow you an Ah both know that yer strugglin’” AppleJack said in response not believing a word of her “too tough” talk.
“Maybe I am but I can handle myself, dude, seriously I don’t need your help.” She said and AppleJacked tensed. Something had just happened to RainbowDash. She looked like she had just seen SpitFire killed. She was whipping her head around like she was looking for something, but there was nothing there. Concern washed over her like when waves washed over her at the beach when she was merely a filly. She immediately stepped forward to console her friend.
“Are you O.K. sugarcube? Ya look like yer gunna be sick.”
Um… Ya… Just got a bit sick to my stomach, no biggie” That smile… it was sickeningly fake and was contorted with a touch of madness. She walked over to RainbowDash to help her in some way. It was her duty as a friend.
“Come’ere babe lets git you some water” That’s what she needed. Some water. Then she’ll loosen up and maybe be willing to talk. She began to walk towards her, hoof extended as a friendly gesture. She needed to get RainbowDash calmed down before something happened to her mental state and the only way she could do that is for her to show kindness and affection.
“Don’t come near me AppleJack” She used her full name which was extremely unusual for Rainbow Dash. AppleJack felt like she was going to cry. Tears welled up in her eyes and her extended hoof began to tremble The love of her life was in so much pain and it didn’t seem like she could do anything about it. Rainbow Dash was huddled in the corner of the barn avoiding AppleJacks gaze.
“Sugarcube what’sa matter yer startin’ ta scare me” She choked, but help firm so RainbowDash wouldn’t see how upset she was.
“Ah’m jus’ here ta help. Tell me what’sa matter” She managed to say to the broken RainbowDash.
“LIES!! You’re just trying to get information! I know your tricks!!” RainbowDash’s eye twitched as she unleashed. RainbowDash bolted for the door but AppleJack was quicker. The familiar rainbow striped tail tasted course in her mouth. She was so focused on the catch she had just made that she not see the cyan pegasus’ hind legs rear up and plow through the air like a pair of freight trains.
Contact.
AppleJack felt the pain shoot through her jaw to her head. She felt nauseated and nearly fell to the ground. Her head swam in lurching, throbbing pain. The pulse in her head drowned out all noise as she began to taste blood in her mouth. She saw RainbowDash say something but no sound left the pegasus’ lips. She presumed it was an apology because that how she wanted to view RainbowDash.
She staggered into the kitchen to grab some ice to cool her head. She fumbled through the freezer pushing past the frozen apples and apple sundae ice cream. Her head still pulsating, she sat at the kitchen table holding ice on her jaw. She spat blood onto the floor and looked around to see if BigMac was around. He was out working far out in the fields so he couldn’t hear what was going on, but just in case she smeared the blood on the floor so it was no longer visible. Her lips had swollen and the pain was almost unbearable but all she could think about was the love of her life. She felt sorrow engulf her body like a greedy flame does with gasoline soaked feathers. She couldn’t believe RainbowDash was going through such troubles. She couldn’t fathom the hurt she must be enduring. Through all her thoughts the only phrase that passed through her swollen lips was:
“Ah’m sorry.”