//------------------------------// // Princess Celestia // Story: Adventures of Duke Hoof'em // by RobotFox //------------------------------// (Stars Dashing: PRINCESS CELESTIA) After the attack on Ponyville, many pony citizens were being taken care of except for the action hero stallion Duke Hoof’em. His injuries were minor, nothing he’s never gotten before and he was ready to go back into action. It was recognized by a few ponies that the equipment he used against the invaders was the only thing to have a major affect against them. So, as Princess Luna was given the throne to rule while Celestia was healing, she informed her sister that she was informed that his weapons was something they may need to fight of the invaders. With that information, she requested his presence to see these weapons and he agreed. Duke was currently with the Captain of the guards who was currently overlooking the assortments of firearms that he had brought to show them on a long table. They were in armory of the castle and it was covered with ‘dated’ weaponry for them, so the Captain was surprised to see such weapons brought before him. “So, Hoof’em” the white unicorn with gold armor began “Where did you obtain such advanced…unusual weapons?” Duke merely shrugged a bit “This isn’t the first time aliens came to Equestria. In Amareica aliens came all the time.” The Captain looked at him skeptically “After kicking their asses I took their guns and modified them so I could use them.” “So…you don’t have anymore?” the Captain asked. Duke smirked “No, but I’m sure you can make more.” “Perhaps a duplication spell or maybe manufacturing some, we only have a week and I was hoping we could outfit the entire army with them.” “I’ll let you keep them for now.” He began “I’ll need them back when it’s time.” “I’m sure we can get a few made then. I just hope we can make enough, since magic, our prime defense is currently useless.” Duke was already walking out the door while he was talking. By the time he made it to the door he quickly. Duke really was supposed to be leaving but since no one was available to take him back to Ponyville, he decided to make his stay at the castle. Not that he had permission really, he merely doing so because he felt like it. Again, there was no way for him to get home so it’s not like he didn’t have a choice. So the stallion walked down the hallway whistling (Duke Nukem fans know what he’s whistling). After a moment walking down the hallway he was confronted by two guards who were guarding two large elaborate doors. “Back away!” One of the guards yelled at him. “What the hay’s your problem?” Duke asked. “No one is to see the Princess. She’s currently recovering from her injuries!” The guards explained. Duke was going to say something about the Princess’s ‘needs’ but decided to hold his tongue for a change. It was then that one of the guards realized who he was. “Oh my Celestia, you’re Duke Hoof’em!” The black stallion smirked “Hail to the King Baby!” “Duke Hoof’em?” The other guard asked confused. “Yeah, he’s a hero back in Amareica! In fact he’s one of the ones to drive back those over sized bolt buckets!” Duke enjoyed the praise but it was starting to annoy him at the same time. Really he was hoping to get some kinda ‘action’ tonight considering ever since he came to Ponyville he hasn’t gotten this ‘action’ he was hoping to get. He was hoping perhaps the many mare maids would be willing but they were all resting for the time being. He groaned annoyed since the guard still wasn’t done praising him. Praising him…this gave him an idea. “Which is why I am taking over your shift.” The guards looked confused “Taking over our shift?” “Since I seemed to be the only one who could kick their asses, the Captain told me too look over the Princess till she fully recovers…and that I can guarantee.” He added the end there raising both brows. “Well I guess that makes sense. We’ll tell the Captain.” One guard said while the other followed. “He told me to tell you that your shift is over. I’ll watch over the Princess for the night.” Duke added. “Alright! Night off! Thanks Duke.” And with that the two guards left and Duke smirked. He stood by the door for a few moments to ensure no one was around. Eventually the lights around the palace dimmed and there were very few guards on patrol so that all worked out for him. After about fifteen minuets and was satisfied that he was in the clear, he decided to make his move. He turned to the door and put his hoof on it only to be intercepted by another hoof. Duke turned around to see a white Unicorn in a formal prince garb and combed back blond mane. “What do you think you are doing?” the unicorn snobbishly asked. “Who the hay are you?” Duke asked back turned completely toward the unicorn who wasn’t as big as Duke but was a little bigger than most stallions. “I am the many Great nephew of Princess Celestia, Prince Blueblood.” He said proudly to which Duke merely raised a brow “And I ask how is a mere common Earth pony is doing here and also about to intrude on the Princess?” “Common Earth Pony?” Duke questioned, merely to humor the snobbish unicorn. “I doubt you are of royal blood or understand the high class of things.” The Prince explained. “I’m taking over her security. These guards suck.” Duke said smirking while pulling out a lit cigar from the side took puff, blowing into the Prince’s face. The prince coughed from the smoke “Extinguish that vile death stick!” Duke merely put the cigar to the side. “And I’ll have you know that I personally selected those guards to protect her.” “They suck.” “How dare you say such a thing about any of my processions!” Even Duke thought that was pretty messed up. Even he referred to mares as ponies and not his possessions. “Don’t get your panties all in a bunch. Listen, I was the only one being able to kick those machines asses, so I’m looking over the Princess.” “While you accomplishments may be significant, I assure you any pony of my stature could have done the same if not better.” The unicorn gloated. “Blow it out your ass!” Duke said starting to get annoyed. “I’ll have you know that I am not without great power! Unlike some unicorns, I possess great magic, something that a mere Earth Pony would never understand.” “Magic is for pussies.” “Now you’re crossing a dangerous line commoner!” “You’re pissing me off.” It was then the unicorn was starting to get at his wits end about this stallion. He was nothing but a common Earth pony and he was insulting right in his very face. How dare he! “You have crossed that line commoner! I will alert the guards to remove you from-” It was then that he was greeted with a fine hoof to the face that literally made him fly down the hall a bit. The unicorn looked up to see the stallion approaching him “Your face, your ass, what’s the difference?” The unicorn, despite being in more pain than he’s ever been exposed to before, glared at the pony “How dare you use vulgarity of such an extreme magnitude in this palace.” “Now I’m really pissed off! Get out and let me do my job!” Duke growled. He could tell that this snobbish prince was long passed scared of him but his determination to be better than any Earth pony was keeping from leaving. Knowing this, he decided to step it up. “I’ll-” before the white stallion could say anything he was bucked hard by the black stallion making him fly even further than before. The Unicorn actually lost all his strength from the blow but before he could say anything, Duke put a hoof on his chest “Unlike you, I’m an equal opportunity ass kicker!” The unicorn had nothing to say as he pressed his hoof down further “Now let me take care of this.” The unicorn snobbishly released himself from under his hoof and started back away as soon as he was on his hoofs “Now quite wasting my time!” And with that outburst he was finally able started to run out of the hall, knowing full well that he couldn’t stand up to whatever the stallion could do. “Damn that was annoying.” Duke added with a huff before making his way back to Celestia’s chamber. When he approached the door, he slowly opened as not to disturb the sun Alicorn from her needed slumber. If he was actually going to get lucky with the Princess he would have to get her, while she was totally unconscious and vulnerable. He slowly walked toward her, while switching his sunglasses to ‘Duke Vision’ to see in total darkness. As he walked closer toward the white Alicorn, being as stealthy as possible trying to get in the massive bed to get his current most wanted desire. He quietly lifted the sheet and got extremely close to the Princess. “Damn, I’m good.” Just as he was getting close to make his move, Alicorn’s eyes shot open and immediately glared at the Earth Pony that was getting dangerously close to her. “Son of a bitch.” Duke uttered before Celestia pushed him out with her hoof. Despite being injured she still had a reasonable amount of strength. Duke was about to say something in defense but Celestia immediately got a magical hold on the Earth Pony and threw him out in the hallway into a nearby wall, leaving an indent in the wall. “Okay I’ll admit that was a dumb idea…” Yeah, had this one in mind but just couldn't find out how to progress it for awhile. Till I thought, how about I beat the crap out character I hate the most in the series!