As I looked out into the distance towards Canterot I was thinking about the Doctor. Where was he? What was he doing? Is it over? The word 'over' stuck in my head and made me feel worse. I didn't want our friendship to be over. Did we have something special? A million questions were clouding my conscience.
I lay on my bed and just hoped that he would come home. As I read through more happy passages in my diary I became more and more worried about the Doctor and his safety. I didn't want to think that I could possibly never see him again. I couldn't bear to think of something so tragic.
This is the exact feeling as when my mother died 3 years ago. It's strange. I feel such a close connection to him. Is it because I love him too?
Love.
Love is a strong word that I only used to ponies the closest to me. Actually, the only pony I have said it to was to my mom.
I thought about if I did really love the Doctor for a long time. I went through everything that we did together, how he made me feel and about how I think about him constantly. I think that it's true. I do love Doc.
I sighed and accepted the fact that he would probably never love me. I cried into my pillow again, making it wet with tears, again.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
I perked up, wiped away my tears just to have them come straight back. I went close to the door. I stood behind the shut door and asked "Wh...who...who is it?" softly in-between gasps.
There was a faint reply from beyond the door "Uhh, Ditzy it's me...Doc...can I come in? I need to talk to you" He said the last few words slowly and carefully.
I reluctantly opened the door and let the Doctor in.
He walked in with his eyes slightly down. He looked at me a gasped "Oh! Ditzy! Are you alright?!" He said looking at my red eyes and wet cheeks.
"ye...yeah...fine..." I said eventually.
The Doctor walked me over to my bed and moved away the soaking wet pillow to reveal a dry, yellow sheet. He sat me down and he sat next to me.
He began the conversation. "Ditzy, about earlier today..." He said looking at me. I turned my ears down in embarrassment and looked away squeezing my eyes shut. He carried on talking "...The reason why I acted like I did was well...I didn't expect you to be so..." He trailed off, searching for the right word to say. He carried on "...but...No, no, no that's not the right word"
I gave a small and apologetic "sorry" and a little laugh after.
He smiled, put his hoof around my shoulder. The comfort soon flooded back to me. I felt warm to be in his arms.
He carried on "If only you would have stayed longer. I would have told you..." He paused for quite a while looking at my pulling my head to get my attention and meet his sight.
He said in a slow voice "I feel the same way..."
There was a silence.
We then suddenly embraced and felt the warmth of each other’s arms. I felt his heart pounding against my chest.
He pulled away and looked at me with big soft eyes.
"I love you Doc" I said in a soft and caring voice.
"I love you too Ditzy" He replied in a caring voice.
We embraced again, this time for longer.
We stayed on my yellow bed for a long time. Talking, hugging and laughing. We both looked at the clock - 10pm.
"Wow, it's getting late Ditzy, how about we get some shut-eye" He said while pulling back the covers on my bed. He winked cheekily at me.
"Ok Doc" I said sliding into bed with him.
"Night"
"Night"
We closed our eyes and drifted off into sleep.
Today was a good day.