Chapter 3: I curse the Name, the one behind it all...!
AUTHORS NOTE: It's at the start this time!
Yeah, I know, caught me off guard too. So check this out- I was looking at the feature box today and surprise of surprises, guess what I saw! A Discord fic, happy day! Bu... wait, is that...?
Eeyup, it was my premise. Not quite as chaotic as I'm making it, but my idea. And apparently it was based off of someone -elses- idea which came along before I had -my- idea and I had never seen before.
I wasn't surprised, but at the same time, I was, considering that I'd never seen a fic with the idea like mine before. Ah well, Sest te la vi, or however you write that. But! I am not going to stop, mostly because really, I'm enjoying writing this.
Besides. MINE is crazier! >3
SO! Pan, would you like to take it away?
---------- End Authors Note, Begin story ---------------
“Love to darlin'.” Pan says with a grin, stretching out in his still as of yet to be described form, which is likely an alicorn but at this point only provable to be a unicorn with wings. Or maybe a Pegasus with a horn, whichever.
“So, ignoring my description yet again to probably infuriate the few fans the authoress has, tell me more about your little plan here Celestia.” Pan says, one hoof lazily dangling off of the cloud couch he made, not feeling like flying or walking. A little cloud tether was tied to Luna's tail, and she didn't particularly seemed to notice, too happy about Discord being gone as she bounced along, pulling the lazy God of Chaos along as she went.
Celestia grinned. “We're going to start a government, Luna and I, to unite the Pony Tribes and bring about a new age of prosparity and peace! The Ponies are too spread out, too alienated in and among themselves... it's a danger to them, and I want to protect them.” She says, puffing her chest out a bit and standing tall and regal... till she gets hoof-noogied by Pan as he floats by.
“Oooh, yeah, great idea. That'll only take, what, ten, fifty, two hundred-fifty some years? Three hundred? No, no, this isn't Madness or Sparta.” Pan muses as he rolls over on his back, his foot swaying a little.
Celestia frowns. “You act like that's a bad thing. Hard work is it's own reward.” She says. “And this task will be most rewarding indeed when My Little Ponies can live in peace and harmony once again, as it was intended to be before Discord.”
Pan snorts. “No wonder he decided to mess with you and your sister. That whole idea of 'as it was intended to be' is -way- tempting to screw with in every way imaginable.” He groans, his hoof off the other side of the cloud. “But... well, that was -his- plan, and I'll be honest, stealing his plan is wayyyy to easy.”
Celestia gives him a blank, angry look. “We would have beaten him and his plan.”
Pan snorts. “Riiiight...” Pan muses as he sinks into the cloud and flips over, his wings sticking out off the cloud as he motors around. “And I'm a cloud! Beep beep!”
Luna frowns, tilting her head. “... But I can see your wings.” She says, looking quite confused, only for a groan of sarcasm to come from the cloud as a pair of eyes look out from the cloud, giving the audience a exasperated look, pretty much saying, 'You see what I have to work with here?'
Pan sighs. “Look, I'd -love- to point out every way that thought could go wrong and absolutely rip any hope of ever beating Discord right out of your -precious- little hooves, but at the moment, I have much better things to be doing.” He says, his cloud doing small aileron rolls now with the help of his wings.
“Besides, he's dead, yeah? That means you won.” Pan points out with a lazy wing flap that sends him spinning much faster.
Celestia snorts. “Point. Fine. We'll leave you be, we need to go speak with our little ponies anyway.” She says, motioning for Luna to follow her, the younger alicorn stepping close to her big sister as Pan spins around and around.
“AAAH! SOMEONE STOP ME! I WING'D TOO HARD!” Pan yells out as his cloud continues it's out of control Aileron roll as it spins through a series of glowing rings.
“DO A BARREL ROLL FOX!” A rabbit yells from a nearby field, only to get zapped by a bolt of lighting, turning him into a chocolate rabbit instead. “STFU!”
Ignoring the chaos god and his random outburst, Celestia teleports off with Luna, leaving Pan in his cloud as they go to do whatever it was they did to create the civilization we all know and love. Pan frowns at this, but he disperses the cloud, looking rather disappointed and a little annoyed as his entertainment had left.
“Are you really so desperate for entertainment that you'd do the same trolling bullshit that Discord did? How the hell are you even acting the way you are?” Adam says, looking at Pan with a frown, the Chaos God blinking, not realizing he had summoned himself.
“Wh... oh, wait, it's just me.” Pan says, sighing and waving a taloned hand at Adam. “Be gone me, there is chaos to be done!”
“Bullshit.” Adam says, crossing his arms. “You only want me gone because I'm speaking the truth.”
Pan frowns lightly at the figment of... no, it's not imagination, is it? It's himself. “But this is who I am now.” Pan says. “I don't have a choice.”
Adam snorts. “Don't have a choice? We're the God of CHAOS! Besides how mind-breakingly INSANE all of this is, without getting into the body change, the fact that we're a God now, and the fact that you met two Goddesses whom we originally thought existed in a TV show for little girls, and for the last several paragraphs you've been TAUNTING THEM.”
Pan freezes at this, blinking several times, his eyes going wide as the rest of his life, his previous life, flashes before his eyes, and he clutches at his head, gasping as he sinks down and sits. Adam gives him a pitying look. “You didn't even notice you've changed forms. And all because you 'don't have a choice', right?” Adam says flatly.
Pan shudders at the thought before he takes pause. “... We need to settle.” He mutters. “N-no... I need to settle... calm down... t-think.” He whispers. Adam closes his eyes as he vanishes after a few moments, Pan's eyes closing as he takes deep breaths in and out.
An excuse. A reason. No point in just going about in the manner Discord did. He'd draw too much attention. Chaos was good, it was balance to peace, but just going all willy-nilly would end up with him in stone, probably at the hooves of those whom he had taunted minutes ago.
Was it really minutes? It could have been hours! His eyes snap open again as he looks around franticly. No, no, calm, calm. Relax, take another deep breath, let it go. Smoke curled out of his muzzle as he hisses out a deep breath. That’s it... the smoke was settling, calming, soothing. He watched it coil in it's own naturally chaotic manner. No one could predict how smoke would act. It would curl, or waft, sometimes thick, sometimes so light that you almost couldn't see it. The wind would pick up and take it.
It reminded him that he hadn't had a cigarette in a while, reminded him of the boat, reminded him of his life in general. And... it was soothing to remember. To regain control.
Pan pauses. “... That's not me anymore.” He says aloud, frowning a bit. “I'm not Adam. I can't be Adam anymore. He's me, but I am not him.” That sounded right... it felt right. It made sense... in an odd, chaotic way. He liked that.
The... what was he right now anyway? He frowns, checking again. Yep. Dragon. Teenaged, if he was guessing right. He didn't know. Pan shakes his head. “Well, it's as good as anything, and better yet, it's -not- a Alicorn.” Pan snarks, crossing his arms as he tries to think of what to do next.
He looks up at the authoress, who is currently pounding her head against her desk, and frowns. “Hey! You really shouldn't do that, you're gonna end up hurting yourself!”
AND WHY NOT? I can't think of bloody ANYTHING. I had all these interesting ideas and they've fled! I mean, I'm supposed to drop you into a world of crazy but without a good amount of character interaction, we've got you talking to yourself!
“Well fine, yes, point well made. I mean, even now I'm just talking to you, ma'am, and I'm sure that the audience isn't going to appreciate it.”
Piff. As if they even care. And if they don't like it what are they gonna do? Thumbs down and unfave? Ohhhh, my poor heart, I doubt I could take it!
“... Sarcasm doesn't work very well in text Ma'am.”
No shit Sherlock, how'd you figure that one out?
Pan groans and shakes his head as he thinks over 1. Something to do and 2. Why the authoress is actually putting herself through this before...
“... Hey, I got an idea.”
… Really?
“YES, really, and stop it with the …'s! You use them far too often!”
Ok, ok. No more ...'s unless it's actually necessary. Still, you said you had an idea?
“Yes. I don't know how to be the God of Chaos.”
How is that a plot point? It's chaos, it doesn't have any rules.
“But Discord said he wrote a journal or a diary or something. I should go find that, shouldn't I?”
Huh. That actually makes a surprising amount of sense. Alright, done, that's the new plot point. Go get the macguffen boy!
“Yeah yeah, I'm going, I'm going...”
And so Pan set out on his EPIC quest, searching high and low, day n' night, by the starlight and the moonlight and through the fire and the flames to fi-
“Ummm, excuse me? Do you really have to describe it like that? I mean, really, I've been walking for like... three minutes.”
What? You don't like it?
“Not quite that wording, but it's uncomfortable. It's like the words have been used before and are a mangling of songs put together.”
Oh shut up and stop talking to me. I'll fix the fourth wall later.
“Fine, fine. You're the boss lady.”
Damn straight. Now that we have that sorted out...
AHEM
AND through the fires and the flames, seeking out the diary of Discord. There was many an adventure to be had... by Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Story, and the knights of the round table. Alas, this was in a different universe, and Pan was left with trudging along the winding path to Canterlot.
Yes, Canterlot. Not Camelot, Canterlot. Tis a silly place or so I've been told. Filled with random musicals and impromptu Dance Routines which seem to work out spectacular without any practice what so ever, and current home of the Goddess Sisters.
The trip itself wasn't so bad. It was the mind numbing BORINGNESS of it that was bad. It wasn't exactly a short walk and for -some- reason, Pan was reluctant to use his powers... most likely because he was secretly afraid of turning himself inside out... “AM NOT!” or more likely because he doesn't want ponies to know that he's the new god of chaos and assume he's Discord. “Better.”
Either way, Pan was trudging along the road, his claws digging into the dirt, tearing it up a little as he walked, sighing as the extreme boredom of such a long walk started digging into his head. “Yeah, tell me about it, I feel like I've been walking for a MONTH or longer!”
The bored God sighs before brightening a little as his ears perk. A sound, coming from the distance! It almost sounded like singing, but that couldn't be it. No, it was too soon for singing, mostly because he was...
Pan blinks and frowns. “When am I anyway?” He asks aloud to no one in particular. “I mean, I'm not in the current era of the story, am I? So I'm most likely still in Discord's reign... which just ended thanks to him dying, right...” Pan frowns and then chuckles to himself, letting out a little huff of smoke.
“Hehe, maybe they're singing the munchkin song. 'Ding Dong the Witch is dead~!'” Pan sings aloud for a chuckle before he continue to walk towards the source of the sound to discover...
A CLIFFHANGER!
AN: Yeah, you can start hating me now. I'll be honest, this is gonna have some wonky updating due to me leaving to go out to the ship. It already got seriously messed up by me moving to Japan (Haha! I'm 15-ish hours ahead of you! I'm in the future! This is going to be posted -yesterday- for me!) And while I'm sure i'll have time to write, I dunno if I'll have time to post what I write. We'll see.
In either case, happy chaos! Enjoy your Cliffhanger, as much as it RAGES you, and I promise for moar of the good stuff next time- when I introduce actual characters! More then just one or two! Really! I swear! Don't go... please?