//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: Canterlot of Chaos. // Story: Madness vs. Discord. Stallion vs Mare // by lillytheomegawolf //------------------------------// Discord gazed over the landscape below. The bored, gender-bent draconequus ran an idle claw through a patch of grey cloud. It flashed all the colours of the rainbow at her touch causing a smile of satisfaction to ripple across the otherwise annoyed looking face. ‘Well I guess I at least still have my powers. What a shame I can’t turn myself back to normal. I don’t need all those useless ponies knowing the lord of chaos is under the same spell as they are. I’m above them.’ As it turned out, the lord of disharmony between ponies had simply become bored with not being her usual self. It just seemed to drain draconequus's will and need to be herself. The unreal noise of the UPS brought the brooding harbinger of chaos back to reality. "Sheo," she called out, turning around to face the man who had changed everything. The gender warped draconequus fluttered her eyelashes at the figure in front of her. "Ahh mh' favorite draconequus. Ah’ see ye’ got bored o’ playing with yer toys down there. What can ah' do ye' fer?" Discord waved a hand, motioning to her own body. "Well? It’s not going to change itself!" "Oh tut tut tut. Ah'd have thought a lord of discord such as yerself would have loved a grand ol' laugh." "I do ponies. Not myself." Discord stated defensively. "Weel... Ah guess... If ye' can win a game I'll offer to change ye' back. How aboot it?" Being no stranger to tricks and twists, the cunning draconequus just had to ask, "What's in it for you, oh Lord of Madness?" "Ye’ got me there.. That ya do." he scratched his chin staring off into another dimension. "How aboot... If ah’ win ye’ come down as ye are and meet them ponies that are coming to get ye’? That’ll be a grad ol’ laugh fer me. Ye’ll be no allowed ta just hide up here all day and play yer games from afar. That would fix ya." He grinned in a haphazard way at the gender-bent immortal before him. "Done." The master of disharmony between ponies offered a claw. The madman before her shook it, wearing a grin upon his crazy old face. "Right. Now, what game?" "Ah was thinking. How bout a game of madness and questions, tricks and traps.” Sheogorath waved a hand and what looked like a chess set appeared on a giant mushroom. The fungus expanded and flattened to accommodate the warped looking pieces that maneuvered themselves into place upon its slowly shifting surface. The Daedric prince seated himself calmly, grinning a challenge to his chaotic counterpart. “Are ye’ ready to ‘ave some fun?” Discord rubbed her forepaws together, eagerly anticipating victory. The draconequus teleported to her side of the board, clapping odd paws together. A tree floated up, positing itself under Discord who immediately reclined upon it. “Oh and tis good that ye’ve found a nice place to relax because some parts of this ‘ere domain migh’ disappear as we play. We migh’ also wind up on th’ other side of Equestria... but ye’ can ferget that ah’ ever said that.” Sheogorath grinned as he made the first move. Canterlot. The most magnificent city in all of Equestria. Home to the royal alicorns who had ruled their kingdom with kindness and love for as long as any pony can remember. Today however, discord reigned, very close to complete madness. The normally clear sky was dominated by enough brightly coloured balls of cotton candy to keep Pinkie Pie busy for a week. Several buildings were floating up and down like objects in a 2D video game while others meandered slowly through the skies upside down, side to side with no sense of gravity. The upper class ponies trapped inside found themselves too busy hiding to take notice of the horrors of the outside world. The train pulled up to Canterlot Station, right on schedule. Many of the Royal Guards stationed in and around the station were now noticeably female, considering many of the guards had been stallions. Despite that they were trying their hardest to maintain their cold, hard, stoic stares as they stood in place, there was no denying that they looked incredibly embarrassed and out of place. It was apparent in their eyes, which oftentimes shifted about, as if nervous. Passengers from the train disembarked, heading in all directions to their various destinations. A group of six stallions made straight for their goal, the royal palace. Everypony was hoping that nothing too evil had befallen their rulers. Twilight strode out ahead of the group. Trying to look as confident as he could be in the face of the madness that Canterlot was suffering. Bubble Berry bounced alongside the lavender unicorn, it seemed nothing could get that stallion down. Fluttershy stuck close to Rainbow Blitz who placed a wing over his frightened companion. Purity, Spike and Applejack brought up the rear with nervous glances. Spike kept close beside her crush, shocked at what had befallen her home city. The Elements of Harmony made their way to Canterlot Castle. Together. As a team. Ready to face this. Whatever might mean. “Look. There’s Shining Armour!” At Twilight’s cry the group's attention was cast upon a lone white unicorn who stood majestically atop one of the upper towers. Defensive magic radiated from the strong guardian. It was clear he was in the middle of trying something important. However no pony had any idea what he was trying to do. The alarmed group broke into a full on sprint in their effort to get to the safety of the palace. Rainbow Blitz took flight, an areal guard over the group. He broke up several cotton candy clouds and one storm cloud which exploded into tingly, zappy bolts. The main gates entered view. To everyponies horror they were bent open revealing a whole range of strange changes within. The regal form of Prince Luna appeared from behind the munted gates. The now dappled prince rushed up and gave Twilight a surprise hug. The stallion on the receiving end wholeheartedly hugged back despite the clear shock upon his purple face. Bubble Berry grinned at the pair. "Twi-Twi looks hot as a stallion, right?" Luna nodded enthusiastically. "Indeed," the night blue stallion added a shy nuzzle to the exchange. As the two blushing stallions withdrew Luna continued to gaze star struck at the purple unicorn. Or, more specifically his flank. "Thou has been well endowed and look most divine." Twilight spluttered, "e-excuse me?" "Thy eyes shine like the moon and thy flank is more breathtaking than the stars." Luna replied. "No, I didn't mean like that!" Twilight's blush was so deep even her horn grew darker. "I meant- ugh... why did Pinki-" "Bubble Berry!" With a bounce, the party pony was quick on his correction. "-Bubble have to say that. Shouldn't Celestia be meeting us too? We need her to help fix whatever has gone wrong." The midnight stallion faltered, his gaze briefly turned to the castle "We -actually... Celestia... we must show you. It is beyond words.” "Is she okay?" Twilight drew near once more to the bringer of the moon. "She- We shall show thee." Luna led the stallions through a massive maze of unproportional chaos. Stairs were warped, widows floating without support and candles shone with every colour of the rainbow. Candy grew along the leaves of potted plants. Bubble Berry happily devoured each and every one, finding himself euphoric in the presence of the abundant sugary sweets. The small party quickly came to the royal bed chambers of the princess of the sun and Luna nodded to the two uncomfortable guards who stood on either side of the closed door. “Behold... this is what has become of our- my sister.” The dark blue horn lit and the doors opened to reveal- “Oh my Celestia... look at... Celestia.” Twilight became nothing short of an icicle. His mentor, teacher, idol... “Oh! Can you make me into a lobster? I’ve always wanted to be a lobs-” “Bubble!” the chorus of annoyed ponies quietened the source of comic relief. “Thou shall not make a mockery of thy sister!” Luna quickly rose over the pink stallion, his tone nearing that of the royal canterlot voice. “Hold on... Luna... it’s just Pinkie. Or Bubble Berry...” Twilight gazed into Luna’s eyes. “I need you to tell me everything. Who did this? And why?” Luna spread his wings apart and dramatically rose above the stallions. “We saw the chaos master... we believe you know the foul creature as Discord.” “Chocolate ra-” “Bubble! Be quiet or I’ll make you quiet!” Blitz threatened. “There was something else with...” Luna paused for a brief second. “Discord. Whatever it was, it took the appearance of a human. However, this being was much more powerful...” Tiny pincers clapped here and there in tiny rage. Bubble Berry rushed over to the Royal crustacean and took a seat. “Pattie cake? I’m never too old for pattie cake!” “Just ignore him,” Twilight said to Luna. “He’s like a child in an adult’s body.” “Thou, I mean... Twilight, do you have any ideas? We must save our- my sister.” “Well... we gotta find out what was helping Discord. Anypony have any ideas?” Luna scowled. “We remember very little. The foul creature took the appearance of an old male human. With a multi-colored suit and a staff.” “Did you say a staff? And a multicolored shirt? I know that guy!” Bubble Berry sprung towards Luna and bopped him on the nose. “That’s Sheogorath; the Daedric Prince of Madness. I once got teleported to his dimension and had to mess with pony’s minds. And turn humans into bunnies. And trolls into mice! He turned out to be pretty cool.” “Thou must tell us immediately! For Celestia’s sake!” Navy hooves gripped the energetic pink figure. Bubble Berry bobbed his again. “Calm down Mr. Nighty Pants. He’s from a realm called Nirn to the morties there... it was so much fun! I met this really cool girl who was part dragon and part khajiit or something. She taught me something awesome! Are you ready?” “Get on with it!” Thundered the agitated prince. FUS RO DAH! Luna was thrown like a ragdoll down the hall by the power of the dragon shout. Twilight rushed to the crash site. Everypony else just stared in shock at the impossible event. “What has thou...” Luna ungainly floundered around on the floor, stunned thanks to the impact upon stone. “Princess! Are you okay?” Twilight threw his grip around Luna, completely forgetting the change in title, attempting to lift the alicorn. The stunned prince collapsed forward and the two horns met like loves lips in the night. "Owwww!" The two night sky themed ponies clutched their horns. "That hurt more than it should..." Twilight muttered. “Where- ugh... did thou learn such dark arts?” Luna replied as she shrugged off the pain. “Yea’ where did ya’ learn that, Bubble?” Applejack added, slowly recovering from the experience of witnessing the power of the dragonborn for the first time. “I already told you. Jeez...” Bubble took another seat and began to play with an unwilling Celestia. “We can’t get there unless we are summoned, silly.” Purity aggressively rushed the party pony, glaring into Bubbles’s eyes as he were trying to burn them out. “Listen to me. I must have this fixed. Now! Tell me how we can get summoned.” A pink goof ball rolled with uncontrollable laughter across the warped floor. The tiles vibrated with the party pony's mirth. All others found no humor in the situation. “Oh silly! We can’t summon ourselves! We need to be summoned! But look at it this way, you have a rocking stache! And Dashie and Fluttershy are still going to fall in love! So we’re all good! Party time! Let’s go get a pool for ‘Tia! Come on guys! Mudcrab party!” Bubble Berry bounded energetically out of the room, leaving nothing but silence. Twilight Sparkle and Prince Luna searched through the royal Canterlot library. “Princess- Prince, are you sure you don’t know anything about Daedra?” Twilight asked, paging through several encyclopedias. “We are sorry Twilight Sparkle. We know- I know nothing of which you speak,” Luna frowned, continuing to leaf through his volume before dropping it and hastily grabbing another. “Okay... so Pinkie- Bubble Berry says we can’t summon ourselves; we need to be summoned. This Sheogorath... we need to get his attention. And maybe he’ll summon us. Surely you Luna, with your power power and status, could draw some attention?” The royal alicorn shut his books and turned his gaze upon Twilight, “Are you sure Twilight Sparkle? We are not sure...” “Luna... just Twilight is fine,” she smiled, admiring the Prince’s innocent eyes. “It shall be done Twilight! But we need a plan to get his attention,” Luna paused. “SURELY THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE COULD DRAW ATTENTION!” The loud bassy tone rang out across the castle, the shelves, walls and ceiling shook from the force. “Nice... but I think we might need to be a little more creative than that...” the purple stallion trailed off shaking his head trying to stop the ringing. “Did somepony say creative?” The unwanted bundle of joy appeared, knowing, as usual when he was needed. “What is thy business Bubble Berry?” Luna said, mildly annoyed at the sight. “I’m super-duper creative! Like super-duper! Sheogorath and I, we’re good buddies. But he only talks with us morties when he goes on vacation! He’s so funny about his vacation spots! But if we can get his attention when he’s on vacation, then we might be able to find him!” Bubble spoke, occasionally throwing confetti to lighten the atmosphere. “How dost thou know when Sheogorath is on vacation?” Luna investigated. “He’s probably still here, but I don’t know where he is, silly! You don’t either! And you! And you! It’s would be like finding a sprinkle in a pool of frosting... yummy! Let’s do that! I’ll get it ready! Pool-frosting party!” Bubble disappeared as quickly as he arrived. “While thy Bubble has odd priorities, I sense truth in his words. Finding this Sheogorath is challenge massive in scope.” Luna took a seat and slowly exhaled, “Twilight, you must have some sort of idea.” “Well. Do you know how the two arrived?” Twilight asked the prince with an inquisitive look upon his face. After a moment of silence he decided to continue, “we could try a tracer spell. They will show up if they are anywhere in Equestria.” “A most excellent idea Twilight! We- I, will search the library for the spell. You must ready your companions. Time is of the essence. We must locate Discord and Sheogorath before it is too late! Celestia’s sake depends on it!” “Right. And the rest of Equestria. I better go round up the guys!” Twilight galloped out leaving the alicorn in peace to continue his research. Breathing deeply, his body quivering, as were his lips, Fluttershy opened his mouth to speak, “...Rainbow....?” “Yeah?” Dash whispered, his eyelids lowering as he leaned closer to Fluttershy, smirking. “I....I....” Fluttershy leaned closer also, their breaths intermingling, their lips just barely inches apart. Oh, he was so close! Just a little more and he could finally kiss him. The bold cyan pegasus peeked out of his closing eyes at the pretty pony in front of him. This was going to be great! He was about to kiss his first ever stallion. And it was Fluttershy! What could’ve been better about that? “Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash! Come quic- Oh!” Twilight skidded to a halt in front of the two frozen stallions. “What’s going on here?” The purple stallion asked with a worried look upon his face. At the sight of the interruption, the quivering shy pegasus ‘eeped’ and hid himself behind his protector. “Twilight...we were... Wait...what’s wrong? I mean, more than usual?” Blitz said, throwing a wing over Fluttershy’s cowering figure. “Luna and I got a plan. We need your muscle and Fluttershy’s knowledge of nature. We meet in five. Get ready guys!” Twilight was already off to the other ponies before Blitz had finally lifted Fluttershy up. Purple hooves thundered across the warped royal floor towards the royal pool in hopes of finding a very certain stallion and prince. “Bubble Berry! We’re going to go capture Discord and Sheogorath. Hand over Celestia and get ready! You're our expert on Sheogorath and we need you. Playtime is over!” “Okie-dokie-lokie!” Twilight reached for Celestia with her powerful magic. She could sense that even now her mentor was one powerful creature. “Oh Twi’, I got an awesome idea! Check this out!” Bubble conjured a large saddlebag and strapped it onto Twilight. “It’s a little home for our Prince of the Mud crabs!” Twilight sighed impatiently before placing an unwilling Celestia into the saddlebag. “Fine. It will do. Come on Bubble or Pinkie- whatever you are! Let’s go!” The tiny arthropod inside of the saddlebag rocked back and forth as the stallions galloped toward their last targets. There was nothing for Equestria's ruler to do except hope that her student and sister could uncover the answers. Twilight burst into sight of his last three targets. Purity was clearly still in distress and Applejack had a forehoof around his quaking shoulders in a comforting manner. Spike daintily patted his crush's leg, otherwise ignored by the two stallions. “I hope ya’ got a plan Twilight. You wouldn’t come a runnin’ if ya’ didn’t,” Applejack dryly asked as he looked up at the intruder. “Get Purity on his feet! We need him and we especially need you! I’ll explain later! Lets go!” Twilight thundered along past them, leaving no option but to follow the galloping unicorn. “Are we leaving this place? I must disguise myself! I cannot be shown in such a sta-” The farmer gently shook his friend, trying to shake some sense into his distraught mind. “Snap out of it! We need ya’! So get on yer feet and let’s save Equestria! Come on!” Applejack hurriedly assisted his friend up. Spike found himself ensnared in Purity's magic and deposited on his broad shoulders. Holding his head high, the white fashionista took off in pursuit alongside Applejack. The pair quickly found themselves in the massive library. The lavender stallion and prince of the moon stood before them waiting for the others to show up. Bubble Berry burst in, energetic as always. "Oh sorry I'm late guys. I first had to go to the toilet. It was wild! I never knew that-" "Bubble Berry please, contain yourself. Prince Luna has something important to say." Twilight did his level best to contain the excitable party pony. Applejack facehoofed while Purity blushed lightly. "Okey dokey lokie." A pink hoof maneuvered an invisible zipper across the muzzle, making it clear he was listening. Prince Luna opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the sound of a pony crashing into a bookshelf. "Are you okay?" The quiet voice of Fluttershy made the source of commotion crystal clear. Twilight winced at the thought of the poor books. Before anything could be done about it the sound of a crashed stallion taking off hit his ears and the scholar threw a protective spell over the nearby books. "I'm fine Fluttershy. Now keep up. We must be nearly there." Moments later, the last two members of the group rounded the corner. Blitz crashed to a halt in the middle of the assembled stallions. Twilight felt glad he had used his magic as a safeguard. Fluttershy gave unnecessary assistance to her crashable friend, who sprang up "Okay egghead why are we in this boring place?" “Yeah Twilight, tell us yer’ plan!” The farmer added. “Okay... Luna... take it away,” Twilight said as she stepped backward. “THOU MUST LISTEN! TWILIGHT SPARKLE AND I HAVE DEVISED A TACTICAL APPROACH TO THIS PROBLEM-” “Luna... they can hear you just fine,” Twilight winced. “ACKNOWLEDGED- oh... okay Twilight. We shall cease speaking in such a tone. Now, we must prepare. I have devised a spell that will track Discord and Sheogorath. If the spell finds success, we should surely be able to find them and confront them for a solution. I know the aspect of facing them is intimidating, but have no fear, FOR PRINCE LUNA, ALICORN OF THE NIGHT IS HERE TO PROTECT YOU!” “You ready guys?” Twilight asked before beginning the spell. “We’ve been through worse, right?” “Do it Twilight!" Purity confirmed, hope swirling in his eyes. The spell began to chaotically cover Twilight’s horn. Tiny sparkle swirls of magic pulsed through her nerves. All four hooves were planted firmly on the ground as a countermeasure to the massive mental-recoil of the spell. “Almost... there...” Pow! A magical aura spawned from Twilight’s horn. It slowly formed a two dimensional pool that hovered in the air facing the wide eyed assembly of ponies. The glazed pool floated in front of everypony like a still lake. Suddenly ripples spread outwards, as if a stone had been cast into the middle. An audience of confused stallions and a single mud crab gazed into the strange spell as it simmered slowly. After a few long seconds, the ripples faded out and an image appeared, almost as if it were in a mirror or screen. A male draconequus was perched upon a tree. A tree in the middle of the sky. Discord was also grinning, as if victory was within his grasp. A slight distance away, Sheogorath spread his wings across a pink cloud. A chess set hovered between the duo, waiting patiently for it’s masters to make a move. “IN WHAT PART OF EQUESTRIA DO TREES FLY?” “Ssh Luna,” Twilight whispered. “We might hear something.” Indeed they did, for the two crazed beings were in the middle of something important. “My madness... what is our next plan for ruling Equestria under the fist of chaos and madness?” Discord asked before moving a chest piece forward. “Rule? That wasn’t part of the plan! Ah' was a thinking... How about after Equestria, we could go tae another realm and force th' United States to use an outdated measurin' system!” Sheogorath laughed at his cunning plan of madness. “Oh... then we could go ta the Mario Universe and put a toad in every castle Mario goes to. An' have him say ‘But oour Princess is in another castle.’ Oh, ain’t ah’ just a hoot?” "Yes, but what about Equestria? I want it." "Well ye' can have it. If ye' can win th' next round." “Okay. I will just have to add that to my winning streak as well.” “Don’ ye’ get cocky ma’ ol’ Discord. Ah has a few fun moves in store fer ye’.” The draconequus grinned in reply to the challenge, moving a chess piece with an aloof claw before opening his mouth and continuing the idle chat, unaware that a group of ponies were watching on from afar. Petty squabbles exploded onward between the two immortals as they continued their banter. Squabbles that didn’t suggest the massive scale of their egos. “I can’t- I can’t hold it much longer!” The call from the straining unicorn brought everypony back to reality. The mighty madman glanced in the direction of the invisible portal and smiled to himself as he continued to play. “THE EVIL-DOERS ARE ABOVE THE EVERFREE FOREST! THOU MAY REST TWILIGHT SPARKLE!” The royal voice boomed out across the quiet room. The magic halted immediately with a big rainbow puff that smelt like cinnamon. Twilight and Celestia were on the ground as quickly as the spell ceased. Navy hooves wrapped and the exhausted mage. “Twilight? Is thou alright? Speak to me!” The drained stallion unsteadily rose “Yeah... I’m okay. How about you guys go off and save Equestria? How about I take- take a week off.” He collapsed once more upon the floor. “Come Twilight Sparkle! I shall assist thee! We must depart for the Everfree Forest at once!” Luna declared, grabbing Twilight and galloping off towards adventure.