//------------------------------// // CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR: Scarves vs. Capes, Janis Joplin vs. Applejack, and Ancient Good vs. Ultimate Evil // Story: The What and Whatiful Who // by cosby7 //------------------------------// “Oh, wonderful, another maze.” As soon as Pinkie had gone on her way, Trixie and the Doctor had departed for their destination. Of course, getting to the Canterlot Gardens was a trick in itself. Flying a TARDIS was a complicated matter on its own, but, even then, it was meant to hit broad targets, like solar systems and decades. Hopping it across city lines took some finesse, and that was when there weren't dragons, spaceships, and dragon-spaceships filling the skies. Being forced to navigate, also known as yelling to the pilot from an open doorway, had put Trixie in what some might refer to as a “sour mood.” That whole “fear of heights” deal had not stopped being a thing. In fairness, she had almost fallen out. Twice. “Trixie still does not understand why we could not have just gone back further in time and sorted all this out with a little less fuss,” she grumbled, still eying the hedge maze warily as they stalked through the garden of statues. “We had to ride in the dumb box anyway.” “And I keep telling you,” Doctor Hooves countered on a thin sheet of patience, “we are a part of this timeline now. We are locked in to events. There's been enough tampering with the fabric of reality today, I think.” “By which he means, he's making up the rules as he goes along,” she said to herself silently. Only out loud. “Look, which one of us here is the lord of time? Probably fair to say I've had a little more experience, so, maybe, if it's not too much trouble, you can just take my word for it!” The Doctor had been nagged before and he had been forced to seek out his greatest enemy while ill-equipped to deal with the threat before, but suffering both at once was proving a test. Adding the compulsion to second guess every statue with wings he saw was not helping. And yet, even then, that was not the worst of it. Again, Doctor Hooves found himself pondering a question to which he did not know the answer. Originally, reality had begun to unravel, due in no small part to the Elements of Harmony disappearing. Their power created a foundation for events to fall upon, like a spool of thread, wrapped around a bobbin. Without its support, the coils of thread collapsed in on themselves and tangled into knots. Now that the support had been restored, the thread of time should have automatically begun to wind itself tighter. There was still enough influence between the Master and the draconequus that reality would not be so simple to fix, but there was more to it than that. He was missing something. Something big. Something that they were getting closer to with every step. “You're right, Doctor. Trixie apologizes. Both of us are understandably nervous. This is not Trixie's first case of pre-show jitters, but it may be her worst.” Admitting to her own worries seemed to have a calming effect on the unicorn. The Doctor was only a little surprised to find that her words had a similar effect on him. “No, you're right. I'm sorry.” It had felt good to make the mutual compromise, but the feeling did not last for long. Any residual mirth faded quickly when the Doctor's eyes fell upon the statue they had been looking for. “If it makes you feel any better, we won't have to go into the maze. There he is.” Trixie's eyes followed the direction the Doctor had nodded. Sure enough, locked in a pose of eternal defeat, was the draconequus she had come to associate with the name “Master.” Except, as she understood it, this was not the renegade Time Lord she had met before. This was still Discord. Still the statue. “You see, it wouldn't have mattered even if we had come earlier. He's not here yet,” the Doctor intoned, a grim elaboration of events. “When will he be here, then?” “Soon.” The single word hovered in the still air, a stark contrast to the crackle of electricity, the energy of the unexplained, that cascaded all around them. “You know the plan?” “The Great and Powerful Trixie is ready,” she nodded. “This will be the performance of a lifetime, after all. Trixie cannot disappoint her fans.” Cape flourish like a boss. “By the way . . .” “Yes?” “Do you think I could pull off one of those?” “A cape?” “Capes are cool.” “Trixie is . . . not sure. Have you ever worn one before?” “I had a scarf once. Felt a little like a cape sometimes. Janis Joplin made it for me.” “Who?” KRAKA—BOOM! THWO~M! The air in front of them snapped in half, devouring the statue called “Discord.” A portal of darkness rippled like a hole in the world. Steadily, it pulsed, changing color from a dark charcoal to a pinker consistency, towards a blunt crimson. Stone melted from the statue, as if the energy was acting as a smelter for the prison harmony had built. Reality snapped and popped around the writhing figure, like a reflexive yawn. Pockets of air turned to lead. Grass became green fire. Stars in the night sky jumped and spun; a forced perspective dance company. The draconequus was free. And there was a distinctly malevolent twinkle in his eyes. “Hope I'm not interrupting anything?” “Chatting about Janis Joplin, actually.” “I hope your plan isn't to scare me off with dated references?” “You never appreciated decent music. 'A Woman Left Lonely?' Gorgeous!” “Never had much of a drumbeat to it, though.” “Oh, that's your excuse for everything!” “Right, quick question: Why shouldn't I kill you right now?” This was definitely the Master. If his words hadn't said, the promise in his eyes certainly did. “You look ridiculous, by the way.” “Oi! Look who's talking! Fine, well built stallion or weirdy mish-mash thing, I'll take the horse every time. Where is the new roommate, anyway? Isn't Discord still in there?” “He's in here somewhere. Still groggy. He'll be up to speed soon, don't worry. You know how good I am at sharing.” That was not a sincere wink. “I've been contacting him psychically, you know. From that Hell dimension you left me in. We were both screaming in pain the entire time. Makes for some very enthusiastic conversations.” “Fascinating. This didn't work before, but I do have to point out something. All of this, what you're doing, restoring draconequus power, crossing dimensions, you're pulling reality apart at the seams.” It was as much of a bluff for his own benefit as it was for the Master. He knew there was still something he was missing, one more unaccounted for ripple in the world. Could this be enough without it? “I am giving you the one and only warning you are going to get: Stop this now, leave this planet and its inhabitants alone.” “Hah! You think this is me? Not even you can be that blind, Doctor! We both know there is something far bigger.” “By all means, continue.” Damn, not even a clue. “Tell me more.” “You're stalling.” “Maybe. Doesn't matter. You won't do anything. Not yet.” “Oh? And just how do you figure that?” “Information. You want to know why I'm here.” “Oh, as if I didn't expect you to be waiting for me!” “I'm sure you expected it. But you didn't know. And that has GOT to eat at you. You need to know why I'm here. You need to know how much I know.” “Well,” the Master chuckled, granting a gracious bow, “when you're right, you're right. Color me curious.” His body color changed, morphing into a series of endlessly repeating question marks. Discord was staring to come around. “But that doesn't mean we have to exclude your friend here,” he continued, shifting focus to Trixie. It was impossible not to shudder under those eyes, just a little. Although it was difficult for her to be out of the limelight, Trixie could not have thought of a better situation to make such a sacrifice than a staring contest between two angry Time Lords. The notion of being forgotten had been mildly comforting, but if wishes were horses, then Equestria would be populated by wishes. And that would just be silly. “Hello, my dear.” The voice came from the draconequus, but it was strangely more melodic than the voice she knew. “How about you and I, and I, have a little fun, hmm?” With that, the draconequus reached out a hand, a hand that grew in both perspective and size as it came closer, threatening to pluck Trixie from the very ground. “That's enough, Discord!” Doctor Hooves stepped in the way before Trixie had time to react. And, more importantly, before the hand had reached her. This new voice sounded like it could have been vaguely less malevolent, if no less manic, but Trixie still did not know if her magic would have been capable of stopping his, their, attack. At the very least, the figure was no less imposing than the version they had seen in that horrible future. Which was exactly why she couldn't let herself back down. “Oh? This must be the illustrious 'Doctor' I've been hearing so much about. I have to admit, you sound like a lot more fun than the last batch I had to work with.” The true mind of the draconequus prattled on. It was like he thought they were in a business meeting. And he really loved his job. “What say we stir up some good old fashioned chaos?” “I'd love to, really would, honestly can't imagine anything I'd prefer. Just for a moment though, mind putting the Master back on the line? Something I really want him to hear.” Discord shrugged. “I'm hurt, you know. We only just met and this is the treatment I get? And there's so much wonderful chaos I want to get st—Doctor.” The monologue stopped mid-sentence, forcing a new word and a new voice with it. “You rang?” “Brilliant! Yes, hello again. Sorry, let you get back to whatever it is you're doing in there, just wanted to let you know, real quick, you were right.” “What?” “I was stalling.” “Girls! Now!” Six beams of energy arced over their heads, slamming Mastercord in his everywhere. The rainbow spectrum spun around one another like a drill, boring ever deeper through the invisible membrane the draconequus had tried to encase himself in. At first glance, it seemed to offer him some modicum of protection, but, with each passing second, it became more and more obvious that the rainbow was using his own shield against him, spreading through it like a virus and infecting the creature of chaos with order, yet again. “Twilight! Brilliant timing!” Twilight Sparkle and the others would have responded, had they not at that moment been floating above the ground, amid the enormous glow of the Elements of Harmony at work. It looked taxing. Embodying an infinite and ancient power usually was. “Trixie!” That was all she needed to hear. She closed her eyes in concentration, focusing the glow of her horn on the same time energy she had mustered back in the senate hall of Cantaerloth Palace. Once more with feeling, Trixie cast the spell that made time and space sing. VWOOOOORP! VWOOOOOORP! Summoned from its hiding spot, the TARDIS appeared directly behind the paralyzed draconequus. There was just enough room for Doctor Hooves to tuck himself between them and swing open the door. He did so. “Good! Keep going!” Doctor Hooves called to the six mares armed with the very Elements of Harmony. “Concentrate on containing the chaos!” He was still coming to grips with the idea of “magic” being anything more than a misnomer, but the Elements themselves were not totally beyond the Doctor's understanding. Chaos tended to unbalance things. Harmony restored order. There was not a great deal more to it than that. Except for a whole lot of power. “NO! Not this time!” the monster screamed as the rainbow glow traveled up its body. “You won't take me again—not like this! I'm tired of being stuck in this rock! Don't you dare betray me now—is the time.” One mouth clashed against itself, as two voices fought from within. However, it was not long before things changed. A face began to pull away from the draconequus. A face incorporeal and amorphous, yet with the same look in its eye the Doctor and Trixie had come to fear. The face they had been waiting on. “There it is! Now keep going! Push it out!” “WHAT?” The face of the Master growled at the Doctor's words, but it was too late to stop. Already, the Time Lord's unsubstantiated form had pulled most of itself away from the draconequus, now himself primarily encased in stone once again. Everything was going to plan. Until it didn't. “I said you won't take me, Doctor! Even if that means taking you!” The spirit creature threw itself at Doctor Hooves himself. Trixie had brought the TARDIS there, in hope that they could trap the Master inside. Doctor Hooves said he would take it from there, but she hoped this was not what he had meant. For his part, the Doctor was only moderately surprised at this turn of events. It stood to reason that the Master would try to jump into something else. As long as he got him in the TARDIS, the threat to Equestria would be removed. Of course, that resolve did not go a long way toward making the experience any more pleasant. “Knock, knock! Knock, knock! Let me come in!” The screaming face he could only recognize as the embodiment of all his rival had ever been lunged at him still through the air. Doctor Hooves did not flinch and he did not try to dodge. He knew what was happening and he let it. Master collided with Doctor and the one with legs allowed the momentum of the moment to throw them both back and into the TARDIS. “I don't have a witty retort, but you are still a total jerk!” In the space of that next moment, several things happened. Two Time Lords, one a disembodied spirit and the other a small horse, landed hard inside a Pony Box. Six mares, fueled by the power of an entire world, finished turning a powerful entity of chaos into a statue for the second time. One blue unicorn, wearing the sickest threads, screamed in concern for her companion and leaped in after him. The door swung shut after her, and the box disappeared. It was a hectic five seconds. When the proverbial dust cleared, all that was left in the Canterlot Statue Garden was one lifeless draconequus statue and six perplexed ponies. “Well, that was weird.” “Yeah, what in tarnation just happened, Twilight?” Even Twilight Sparkle found herself shrugging in answer. She really had no idea what had just happened herself. When Rainbow Dash had burst in earlier, saying she had a letter from Doctor Hooves, and not just a letter, but “everything she needed to know,” Twilight had been enormously relieved. Of course, the paper had ended up saying only, “Canterlot Statue Garden. Bring Elements. Save world and stuff. Love, Doctor Hooves.” She got the impression that things had gone according to plan, but, knowing the stallion it came from, she would not have been surprised if the whole thing had been less of a plan and more of a flashy series of coincidences. “Well, least we stopped Discord again. Ah knew it had to be him. Guess ah was right all along, huh Twi?” “You know what, Applejack?” Pinkie interjected. “This is why you don't get any screen time.”