//------------------------------//
// One Sexy Apple 
// Story: Arc Angel 
// by Valorousspectre 
//------------------------------//

I remember flashes. Bits and pieces of random voices, all with a southern, countryesque accent common on farms. I remember strong hooves and a broad back. I remember smelling hay, sweat and apples. I remember... Actually, I don't remember much else... I think there was... yes, I remember water on my lips a few times, but not much more than that.

In and out of complete unconsciousness... Swimming in a sea of darkness and dreams... Dreams I can't remember.

Darkness...


~*~


Urgggh.... I feel so weird...

I want to open my eyes, but they're so heavy. So very, very heavy. I can feel sheets covering me, and the heavier feeling of a blanket on top of it. It's hot, but I don't want to move... Urgh, hell with it. I push the blankets off of me only to feel them be slid back on. Grumbling irritably, I kick them off again. They're replaced just as quickly and I kick them off again violently, throwing them off the bed I guess, because they didn't return, although I felt a hoof on my head feeling my temperature. I find it strange that it felt so close to the horn. It dimly registered that the best place to check a unicorn for their temperature was just below the hollow the horn had in the skull to accommodate for the extra bone. Ah bugger it.

I force my eyes open just a little bit and light streamed into them, momentarily blinding me. I groaned and covered my eyes with my hooves. I hear a concerned voice in a country like accent.

"Whoah there sugar hold ya horses. Ain't want ya to get any worse than ya already are."

I nodded slightly and slowly opened my eyes a little more. My vision slowly cleared and what I saw... oh my Celestia.

I swear she must have been an angel. Her orange coat was shining in the dim sunlight streaming in through the window and her luscious golden blonde mane cascaded down her shoulders as she leaned over me, her big emerald green eyes were wide and so absolutely entrancing I was captivated. From my vantage point I could see that her shoulders were powerful and she had cute little freckles on her face. I think I must have smiled, because she smiled.

"There, ya feelin' better there Sugar?"

My smile widened I think, because she giggled softly.

"Hey there..." I said quietly

"Howdy," She replied just as quietly, "Ya feelin' better?" 

"I am now that you're around~" I replied dreamily.

What. What the fuck? Why the fuck did I say that? What the fuck brain?

Sorry, can't brain today, apparently I have the dumb.

Despite this, she blushed and, surprisingly, didn't say anything mean.

"Well, that's nice of ya to say there Sugar but uh... Ah think yer a mite bit delirious. Ya were in bad shape when mah brother and Ah picked ya up."

I frowned and I think I must have pouted or something similarly embarrassing because she giggled again.

"Now now then Sugar, ain't that Ah didn't appreciate it, and Ah know ya meant nothin' by it."

Ouch. Shot down in flames even when I'm sickly and looking up at possibly one of the most beautiful mares I've ever seen. I have such bad luck with this relationship stuff.

"Oh," I croaked out painfully. Wait, where did the pain come from?

Oh that's right. I shouted my throat to pieces. Great.

"I'm sorry," I managed to croak out, "I may have been a bit... loopy... for a moment there. It's the light and ambience I think."

"Somethin' left over from ya sickness too no doubt. If it makes ya feel any better sugar, ya ain't too bad yerself."

I felt my face heat up as a blush lit up my face. Desperate to change the subject, I asked the first thing that came to mind.

"Where am I?"

The mare's face lit up and she smiled proudly.

"Yer on Sweet Apple Acres! Mah farm."

"Your farm..?" I asked quietly, "You seem a little young to own a farm."

She bristled at that.

"Hey! Just coz Ah ain't as old as most other farmers don't mean Ah cain't handle mahself ya got that?"

I flushed, embarrassed. I had meant no disrespect.

"I... I'm sorry, I meant no disrespect. I never meant to insinuate you were incompetent."

"S'alright," She replied grudgingly, "t'aint fair of me to go off atcha like that."

In a sudden burst of insight, I knew exactly who she was. I'd seen her likeness before passed around the castle with orders of VIP clearance for Canterlot Castle.

"Hey... Hey, you're Applejack. You're that farmer from Ponyville, grows the apples Princess Luna insists the castle staff stock up on!"

Her happy beam returned full force at being recognised and she nodded.

"Eeyup! That's me! Mah brother delivers them 'imself! In fact, he met his fillyfriend in Canterlot."

She paused and a irritated frown formed on her angelic visage.

"Ain't sure Ah like her though. She's a bit... well, she's very busy all the time, Ah don't have a problem with that, but she's got a real problem with mah authority."

I chuckled slightly.

"You know," I said in reply, "I have a.... a very good friend who has a very similar flaw. She really doesn't like being ordered around and she's not afraid to let you know it, often very bluntly. She's... She's very flirty, very choosy and she, in the whole time I've known her, has only had one partner."

She nodded gently.

"Yep, Ah've met a few flirts mahself over the years. Where's this friend of yours now?"

"Oh... she's back home."

I can hear my voice crack and break as I speak of Nightspring. The look she gives me is skeptical, as though she's not sure if I'm telling the truth about something, but I think she'll let it go.

"And where is 'home' for ya Sugar?"

"Canterlot," I replied dully, "She's a royal guard up at Canterlot."

I can sense her surprise, even though I'd looked down as I'd said it. I guess this town didn't see many visitors from Canterlot.

"Why is it every time we have visitors, they're from Canterlot?"

Well, I never said I was always right.

"Hey, I didn't say I was from Canterlot!"

The look she shot me was both unimpressed and one that said 'really?' in a really sarcastic way all at the same time.

"Then where ya from stranger?"

I flushed again and looked away.

"Canterlot."

"Toldja," She said flatly.

Normally I'd consider conversations like this in the morning as troublesome, but considering the nature of my company... I don't think the morning is going to be anywhere near long enough. 

Mornings with a beauty such as Applejack rarely ever are.


~*~


Applejack insisted that I stay in bed for the next day, even after my rather powerful rejections to the idea. As it turned out, I'd slept for three days straight, my sickness waxing and waning through the days I was here. According to Applejack, her brother and I found me after a bright beam of light lit up the sky three nights back. If they found me, that means anypony hunting me could follow me and find me as well. I spent most of the day in bed being attended to by Applejack's teenage sister Applebloom. She was a cute girl, but I'm much too old for her, and I don't think her sister (or her brother, who I also met. He scares the hell out of me) would appreciate me taking any sort of untoward or romantic action towards her little sister.

I think the main problem that kept me in this bed was that I couldn't possibly tell Applejack why I had to leave so quickly. And of course, without a reason she wasn't letting me leave until she was positive I'd healed completely. Thankfully I'd been well fed whilst I was here, so that was something. Applebloom is actually in the room right now trying to get me to drink some water, despite my assurances that I'm alright. She's been with me almost all day, and she's been uh... well, she's been babying me I suppose. Much more than was necessary and much more than her sister would. Big Macintosh (The brother) was always out in the orchards tending to the apple trees and other crops.

I'm starting to wonder about this young mare.

"So AB," I asked cautiously, making her look over to me after putting the mug of water down moodily, "Tell me, do you have a coltfriend or hasn't anypony struck lucky with you yet?"

She blushed brightly and I swear I saw a triumphant little smile on her face.

"Nah, nopony yet Arc. Ain't like mah sister nor brother help none though. AJ is a great sister, but she chases all the colts away, and Big Mac is a good teacher and brother, but just him bein' him scares a lot of colts away. He don't even mean to."

The country accent of Applebloom and her family was a welcome break to the Canterlot Socialite's accent. I'll admit, my Canterlot accent is definitely very well defined. I was born in Canterlot, and my parents were as well so my accent is certainly that of a Canterlot pony. It's still nice to hear something not so... sophisticated? I guess that's the right word.

"That's a pity Applebloom. They'd be lucky to have you."

She blushed a little more and giggled.

"What about yaself? Surely ya got a special pony of yer own right?"

I hesitated. Let's consider this for a moment. If I tell her no, I think there's a definite possibility she'll come onto me, which would be a big problem. Obviously I can't start dating now, let alone somepony as young as Applebloom. She's a lovely girl, don't get me wrong, but I just can't do it. Not to mention her siblings would hunt me down to the ends of Equestria and probably beyond to carve out my tripes with a dull letter opener. Also, in this respect, I'm sure that there are some of the country's hunters wouldn't hesitate to use ponies close to me as bait. And if I got too close to AB...

Well, I just know the system.

On the other hoof, if I tell her I've got a sweetheart back home, maybe, just maybe, she'll leave me alone. 

"Well, now that you mention it," I said quietly, "There is somepony waiting for me when I go home."

This isn't a complete lie at least. I'm hoping that Nightspring is willing to wait for me to clear my name, and maybe still be available for that dinner. She actually seems disappointed now, but I can't say I regret my decision. Although this might just be me being selfish and hopeful. I'm not certain. Either way, I said what had to be said, nothing more and nothing less.

I hope.

Truth be told, I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm new to this whole adventure thing, so naturally I am sort of apprehensive of what the hay I'm doing. I don't know what I'm  doing, and obviously I've already made a mistake in getting sick. Not to mention I've had terrible luck with being the consciousness being knocked out of me once, and not taking another ration pack from the guard I had to knock out to get away with my life. Sucks to be me so far.

"Oh. So uh... what's she like?"

An idle smile climbed onto my face as I thought of Spring.

"Oh, she's beautiful, flirty, teasing. She's got a bit of a tough exterior to some ponies, especially ponies who show interest in her. But she's got a heart of gold and I've never known her not to stand up for her friends. She's always been there for me, and she's never let me down before. I doubt she will this- no, I know she won't this time either. I've only been away for six days... and I already miss her."

There was a bitter disappointment in her voice as she replied. It went against a lot of me simply to say that. I hated lying, even if it was only a half lie. It makes me feel... despicable and wrong.

"Well, She's a lucky mare then. Lucky to have somepony like you in their life."

I couldn't help it. The whole idea that Nightspring was lucky to have somepony like me in her life was enough to make me laugh. Nightspring didn't need me. She never had and she probably never will. She was superior to me in every way. She's faster, stronger, more agile, flexible and all round better, she makes friends easier, more outgoing, and everypony seems to fall in love with her.

"No Applebloom, I'm lucky to have her in my life. She's pretty amazing."

She didn't seem terribly impressed, nor did she look convinced. But she did drop the subject, which is all I could ask for and all I wanted. That is the first time I've ever had to shoot somepony down. Not the first time I'd done it, but all the other times I'd done in on accident.

I felt terrible for doing that to her, but it was for the best.


~*~


Night fell on Sweet Apple Acres, and with it came my decision. Applejack had told me none too gently that tomorrow I spend one more day in bed before I can get up and about and I can't waste any more time here. I've already been here too long and spending any longer with somepony sniffing up my tail probably isn't a good idea, for me or anypony else. I'm afraid they'll get hurt. I don't think Shining would condone it, but sometimes hunters can be downright sadistic creatures. Applejack is in with me now, wishing me good night. Now she was leaving, but I'll have to wait a while before I can leave without notice.

So I wait a few hours to make sure everypony is asleep and I slide out of the bed. As quietly as I can obviously. I reached for my magic and began to refract the light around me, bending it to my will. See, if I can make the light bend around me, I become invisible. It's a handy illusion trick that I've learned from the advanced illusion classes at the School I used to go to. I wish I'd payed more attention to the other spells though, I only picked up this one in the classes I attended. Ah well, it's a handy spell and I can't say I haven't found it helpful before. Satisfied I'd covered my entire body in this 'bubble' of refracted light, I started on my way through the house. Being on the second story, I couldn't jump out the window without injuring myself, potentially really badly. So I had to settle with sneaking out via the door.

Sneaking down the stairs, in fact, was majorly annoying. They creaked at each step, and about halfway down there was one in particular that groaned and I froze, afraid I might have woken somepony up. After a few seconds, it didn't sound like anypony was awake, so I continued.

creak...creak...creak....creak...

One of these days I will find some way to make everything I walk on silent so sneaking will be easier. But, until that day, I suppose I'll have to make do with trying to be as quiet as equinely possible. I'd just reached the door when a familiar, albeit sleepy, voice interrupted me.

"Applebloom? That you?"

Applejack had woken up. I stood stock still, terrified that, should I move or make a sound, I'd be found. After the silence reigned for a little while, she spoke again.

"Big Mac? Is it you down there?"

Still I remained quiet. I really didn't want to mess this up, and sweat was now dripping from my forehead. I swallowed heavily and tried to slow my breathing, maybe make my heart stop beating like a drum. It's so loud, I'm actually worried about her hearing it. After a while again she snorted and stamped one of her hooves.

"Dangit, Ah know somepony is down here, an' if ya ain't Applebloom, and ya ain't Big Mac, then Ah know its you Arc!"

I sigh, knowing that regardless what happens, I'll be caught, and let the spell fail. Applejack's would have saw me immediately, I'm sure of it. I heard her coming down the stairs, and then she was behind me. I still faced the door, but I looked at the floor.

"An' where do ya think yer goin'?"

"I'm leaving Applejack," I replied softly, "Don't try to stop me, I have a lot to do, and I can't accomplish it by waiting here."

There was a short silence before she sighed.

"Look Sugar, Ah know ya keepin' somethin' from me. Ah ain't normally one t' pry, but if ya don't tell me what it is, Ah'm going to have to keep ya here anyhow."

Right. The sexy farmer stopping the runaway guard from leaving her home. Celestia, it's like one of those really bad, trashy romance novels. One of the ones that had one of those authors who seemed to think that the sex scenes made the book, you know? Left with no other choice, I turned around and I told her. I told her everything that had happened. I told her my side of the story, I told her how I'd been taken in for questioning, everything. It felt good to tell her the truth, to finally tell somepony I knew would believe me the truth. By the end of it all I was close to tears as the gravity of the situation came crashing down on my head. She stood there silently, looking my straight in the eye. They say that eyes  are the windows to the soul. Scientifically, I know this cannot be true. But... somehow that's exactly what it felt like she was doing at that moment. Staring right into my soul. It was an eerie and disquieting feeling.

After a long moment of silence, it could have lasted for a day or an hour for all I know, of looking into the beautiful eyes of Applejack, she smiled grimly at me.

"Well Sug', Ah'd say ya got a bit of a problem there. T'aint sure if Ah can help any more than Ah already have, but Ah'll be sure to let the family know ya were never here. If them hunters ya mentioned come lookin' for ya, We ain't never seen ya before. S'the best Ah can do."

A smile. I felt my mouth lift into a relieved smile.

"Thanks Applejack. I wish I could repay you, but... I'm afraid I'm a little short on anything and everything at the moment."

Her grim smile turned much happier and a little cheeky.

"And you were gunna leave without even takin' some food with ya. Ya ain't too good at this whole adventurin' thing are ya?"

All I could do was blush in embarrassment because, let's face it, she's completely right. It didn't take her long to find me saddlebags and fill them with (typically) apple related foodstuffs. I don't know how she managed to fit so much in there, but she did. And that was only one side. I didn't see her pack anything into the other side, which means these things are going to be hellishly unstable. Oh well. As she fastened the last of the straps on the saddlebags now adorning my sides, I was surprised to feel that they were much lighter than I thought, and perfectly balanced. When I brought this up, standing next to me as she was as we stood outside the barn where we'd moved to collect the saddlebags and fill them with the supplies she'd decided I needed, she nodded and a wry smile flitted over her face.

"Mah friend Twilight's mighty good at magic. Ah got 'em as a present from 'er few years back. But since ya need 'em more than Ah do, Ah'll pass 'em onto you."

Her smile faded into a grin and she glanced at me.

"Mind you, Ah want 'em back when ya finished with 'em. So you make sure ya take care of 'em, ya hear?"

I nodded silently, thankful and awed she'd give me such a gift. Well, lend me such a treasure is probably a better way to look at it. Either way, it was kind of her. I turned to her and, all of a sudden, I was struck by the stupid shyness that plagued me around beautiful mares. And what a beautiful gal she was. I know I've already covered it, so I won't go on about it again. She hadn't even put her hair up as she normally did during the day. I guess she took it out when she slept, and hadn't bothered to put it back in. Either way, she was stunning. I flushed and tried to stammer out a goodbye.

Dammit, I can't fucking brain around this mare, almost as bad as around Spring!

"I uh... Thanks Applejack it um... It means a lot to me and uh... and stuff..."

Smooth. Real smooth. She giggled at my awkwardness and looked at me and I swear it was from under her lashes. I'm probably wrong, I think I was fantasizing just a bit.

Only a little, I swear.

"Well, Ah had to help ya somehow. Ah'm just glad ya thankful. Ah hate ponies who don't care none about that."

Wow. Sexy, cute and has her head on right. Why didn't this mare live in Canterlot? I tried to think of something nice to say to her and drew a blank on anything appropriate to the situation. Oh sure, a myriad of affectionate ideas came up, but none of them appropriate to the situation. Overwhelmed, I simply said the only thing I could.

"Well, Goodbye Applejack. You'll see me again when I drop off your bags okay?"

She smiled and nodded happily and, on sudden impulse, I leaned across and planted a gentle and quick kiss on her.

What the fuck brain.

She froze instantly, eyes wide, and I skipped quickly out of range of her hooves. She looked at me sideways, then her eyes narrowed and her voice had an edge to it as she spoke.

"An what, pray tell, was that? Ain't ya got nopony waitin' for ya at home like ya told Bloom?"

Fuck. She'd heard that. Not trusting my voice, I shook my head. She raised an eyebrow and a burst of words spilled from my muzzle.

"Well it wasn't a complete lie, I'm hoping she's waitingbutwe'renotactuallytogether."

She lifted a brow.

"Alright, so why on Equestria did ya just do that?" She asked ominously, stepping towards me. Again I skipped out of range nervously. The sun was coming up, which means I had to leave, and soon. Left with nothing else, my brain latched onto something and forced my tongue to say the words. To this day I don't know why I didn't stop myself

"Y... You're sexy." I blurted out before my eyes widened and I bolted, terrified.

I think she chased me all the way off her land.

All I can say is.... The fuck brain?