Perspective is colored by experience, and even a place that appears perfectly innocuous on the surface can trigger an incredible spectrum of emotions. For centuries, there was little to distinguish this small section of the ancient castle from its mates. That, however, changed over a few short months.
Although a casual visitor would notice nothing out of the ordinary, ghosts avoided it like the plague; being trapped between worlds was far preferable to the oblivion this place could send them. Likewise, the majority of the girls left this alone, but for far different reasons; their beaus could not take the pony forms that could bypass the wards repelling them; they needed to get physical somewhere else. It wasn’t the architecture that gave this place its new reputation; it was its current occupants. Gryffindor would never live down the Cutie Mark Crusaders Herd — girls, boys, and herdmother.
Anyone currently attending Hogwarts who was checking in on the Gryffindor first-year girls’ dorm at this moment would be surprised by the relative normalcy. At this moment, the only occupants were the first-year Gryffindor girls. An outsider would argue that this was to be expected. However, it was an open secret that the corresponding boys’ dorm was used mainly for storage. Those with x-ray vision would also note that the girls were in a room within a room, the sitting room of Apple Bloom’s trunk, to be exact.
“Ah, still don’t like it,” Apple Bloom said from where she was lying on the floor on her back in human form. “We really should have sent at least one o’ us with them.”
“Leave off,” Lavender snapped, sitting on one of the overstuffed chairs in her pony form. “We’ve been over the whole overprotectiveness thing you have going.”
“Besides, they are walking the pets with Magah,” Ginny said. “They shouldn’t get into too much trouble just doing that.”
“Ah know, but Ah still worry.”
“Which brings us to the reason we need to have this talk,” Hermione said. “That fight you had with Ron over gender roles clearly demonstrates the urgency.”
“I get it,” Scootaloo admitted, lounging on a couch while idly gesturing with her wings to make air quotes. “We have a bunch of Jane Fillies who see us as Tomboys. Is there anything else that really needs explained?”
“Well, that is it in a nutshell,” Parvati said from where she had lain across Apple Bloom’s belly for scritches. “And you three really do come across as Tomboys — even Sweetie, who is arguably the most girly of us all.”
“Ah know, Ah know! Y’all don’t need ta be pounding it inta mah head.”
“Lavender already did that,” Luna said from the ceiling, “with the floor.”
“I said I was sorry,” Lavender whined.
“And Ah said ya’ll don’t need ta be. What ya’ll did was right ‘n’ proper.”
“Wait,” Sweetie spoke up. “If I am the most girly, does that mean the rest of you are Tomboys as well?”
“I’m stopping that conversation before it even gets started,” Hermione said. “We’re here to discuss the folly of forcing the boys into a mold. Let’s not even consider falling victim to the other side of the coin. Do you want to end up barefoot, pregnant and stuck in the kitchen?”
“Sweetie isn’t allowed in the kitchen without supervision.” Scootaloo reminded everyone.
“I still say there should be a period after ‘kitchen’ and leave it at that,” Abagail said, also from the ceiling.
“I still can’t believe you took a herd vote on that.” Sweetie sulked, feeling betrayed.
“One word,” Parvati said. “Cake.”
“Girls, you are getting off topic,” Hermione interjected. “We need to minimize future confrontations, especially where Ron and Apple Bloom are concerned. Both of them are stubbornly set on following cultural norms that are diametrically opposed to each other.”
Most of the girls in the room turned questioning looks on Sweetie Belle. She explained. “Ron and Apple Bloom are going to argue because they were taught to treat relationships in directly opposite manners.”
“He did say that all of us girls should learn how to cook properly,” Luna added.
“Except Sweetie.”
“Give it a rest, Scootaloo.” Hermione sighed. “The point is, we are dealing with two cultures and allowances need to be made for both. Right now, that means Apple Bloom needs to be slapped whenever she tries to protect the boys from minor damage and Ron needs to be slapped basically anytime he opens his mouth.”
“Hey!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “No slapping colts.”
“Perfect example,” Hermione said. Apple Bloom easily blocked the girl’s hand.
“You know,” Parvati said. “It is kind of ironic how many dents we have around here considering how pony girls are taught not to hit pony boys, and human boys are taught not to hit human girls.”
“We need to invest in the throw pillows like Professor McGonagall suggested,” Luna commented.
“That would be a step up from the throw ponies.” Abagail agreed.
Andi was traversing the hallway when her daughter and son-in-law wandered down the stairs with bewildered looks on their human faces. “What’s with you two?” she asked with a worried voice.
Gordon looked her in the eye before saying. “Don’t mind us; we just need a drink. We recently learned that we almost took a beak dive right into the ground at full speed.”
“Oh?” Andi raised a questioning eyebrow.
Nymphadora nodded numbly. “Did you know changelings normally lay a thousand eggs at a time? I didn’t. I’m not even sure how that’s physically possible. There aren’t enough pain potions in Diagon Alley for me to even contemplate going through that.”
“Changeling queens have my respect,” Gordon commented.
“A thousand.” Andi paled. “At once?”
“Yup.” Nymphadora nodded a second time.
“I want grandchildren,” Andi said. “But, I fear that might be going a tad overboard.”
“Luckily, the contraceptive charm is ninety-nine-point nine percent effective,” Gordon said.
“Oh?” Andi glanced up in the direction she knew her yet-to-be-hatched grandchild rested. “So, it works exactly as advertised then.”
“Apparently.” Nymphadora nodded.
“I thought you two had decided not to have relations in your Equestrian forms,” Andi said.
“Actually, Tonks decided; I’m just going along with it because I like my feathers where they are,” Gordon said
“Apparently, changing forms doesn’t purge my system, so, to speak,” Nymphadora said, giving Gordon a glare.
“And thankfully doesn’t nullify the charm,” Gordon added.
Andi contemplated the bludger that had just been dodged. “I think I will join you in that drink,” she said after a few seconds. Her decision was punctuated by the opening of the front door.
Looking over her mother’s shoulder, Nymphadora said, “Wotcher cousin. Wotcher Remus. Wotcher stra…Woah!”
“Nymphadora, mind your manners,” Andi said, shaking off her shock before turning to see who entered. “I apol… Woah!”
Gordon glanced at the two open mouthed women then asked while looking at the other males, “Am I missing something?”
“Nope,” drawled the large, incredibly muscled personification of Adonis standing beside the two Marauders. He had a put upon look on his face.
“I am married; I am married,” Andi chanted to herself.
“Me too, me too,” Nymphadora echoed.
“He does seem to have that effect on women,” Sirius said with undisguised respect in his voice.
“Taking him to the farmer’s convention may not have been our brightest idea,” Remus admitted.
“Granted, there weren’t really that many women at the convention itself,” Sirius said.
“But apparently there was a woman’s college running a wildlife photography class not too far away,” Remus noted.
“Word got out,” Sirius said.
“And things escalated from there,” Remus finished.
“Eyup.” Adonis’ double nodded.
“What happened to his shirt?” Andi asked. She wasn’t drooling. She most definitely was not drooling. “I am assuming that was a shirt at some point.”
“Like I said.” Remus sighed. “Things escalated.”
“Why didn’t you repair it?” Nymphadora asked.
“We did,” Sirius said. “Once.”
“The threats of bodily harm made any second attempts an unwise option,” Remus added.
“So was leaving behind his newly acquired knicker collection when we made a run for it,” Sirius commented. “I still can’t believe how mad they got over that.”
“Is that normal human female behavior?” Gordon asked.
“Nope,” most of the human-born chorused. While Sirius complained, “Only in our dreams.”
Gordon turned to Nymphadora. “Griffins don’t join herds. That goes for reverse herds as well.”
“I was just looking,” Nymphadora said, tearing her eyes away. “I know that’s not fair to you, but I was just looking.”
“Why is everyone just standing around in the hall… Woah! Yummy!”
“Hello Bella, dear,” Remus waved, alerting her to his presence. There was no tone of jealousy in his voice. Really, there wasn’t. “We’re back.”
“Wolfy!” Bella beamed as she bounced over to Remus. She actually bounced. Bellatrix Lupin nee Black actually bounced over to her man. What was in those potions she was taking? Maybe it was the meds the muggle doctors were prescribing. Perhaps it was the constant diet of love honey. Possibly it had something to do with her constant exposure to Pinkie Pie. “Who’s the eye candy?” And perchance she just wanted a closer look at the strapping paragon of the male form standing next to her lover.
“Bella!” Andi called out disapprovingly. “Please try to remember that you are married.”
Bella waved a hand dismissively at her sister. “I’m in a herd. There can be more than one man in a herd.”
“I’m not sure I’d be comfortable with that,” Remus said a little too quickly.
“Oh pish,” said Bella. “You’ll get used to it. Or did you think it’s initially comfortable for four women to be sharing you? Nissy was having fits for weeks until she came to terms with it.”
“Still…” Remus started.
“And don’t think we haven’t noticed your attempts at getting Marble,” Bella continued. “Classic case of eyes being bigger than your stomach. If she were to become a member, you’d be strung out on pepper up potions until you crashed.”
“But,” Remus said as Sirius stifled a giggle. Actually no, Sirius Black was incapable of giggling. Really, he was.
“If you want her added to our herd, you simply must accept the fact that you are going to require help,” Bella continued wrapping her arms around Remus’ and molding herself closer to him. “There is no way around that, no matter how much it may bruise your tender male ego.”
“But…” Remus said.
“And don’t think the rest of us aren’t willing to accept Marble. I can say with as much certainty as I can muster that Maud would love to have her sister as a member. Well, that isn’t saying much considering we are talking about Maud, but Pinkie was translating; so, yes, I am reasonably certain.”
“But!” Remus said.
“And yes, I realize you are worried that we may find him more attractive than you, but we’ve gotten past comparing ourselves to each other and I’m sure you’d be able to do the same. You are both very handsome in your own ways.”
“But…” Remus said.
“If you think about it, we know that you are attracted to Marble. We also know that doesn’t diminish your attraction to the rest of us. You can rest assured that the reverse would hold true.” Bella snuggled closer. “It is probably because we take pony form regularly, but jealousy has been muted, almost nonexistent.”
“Obviously, avarice was not similarly affected,” Andi commented dryly.
“We’ve been trying to get Andi and Ted to merge with us. They already live in the same house and it would be a natural step forward.” Bella gave her sister a laughing look. “But they’ve been too stubborn to even consider it.”
“Bella!” Andi growled.
“See what I mean?” Bella said. “Since that option is going nowhere, what would you say to asking your friend here out on a date with our herd? Fun times can happen right after. We’ll even take Marble with us.”
Remus looked at Bella with wide, startled eyes. “How is it that I’m losing this argument?”
“You recognize that turnabout is fair play?” Nymphadora suggested.
“So how about it tall, bright and muscular.” Bella turned to the largest man in the room. “Care to go on a date with a promise of good times to come?”
“Nope!” the man said. His voice did not squeak. It definitely did not squeak.
“I have to ask.” Lady Greengrass was sitting in the large manor tub. Tub was really a misnomer. Large heated wading pool would have been closer to the truth. Only the fact that there was ample submerged seating and the occupants lacked any swimming attire gave a hint toward its intended purpose. “Does she know?”
Rarity, who had been leaning on her herdsister, stiffened slightly. “No,” she said after a second. “For her own safety, you must realize. Children are not known for their aptitude for keeping secrets.”
Lady Greengrass sighed in turn. “All things considered; I can understand why you went in that direction.” She paused, watching Constant Flow chase Astoria across the tub… pool… large indoor body of water. “Girls! No running in the tub!” Okay! Okay! Tub it is.
“Yes Mother!”
“Yes Mrs. Greengrass!”
“It isn’t as if I don’t want to tell her.” Rarity crossed her arms in front of her breast. “Darling, I fear it is going to be… an awkward conversation.”
“I don’t doubt it,” Lady Greengrass said. “You will be changing her world view. Truths she has known since birth shall be unmasked as lies.”
“Lies?” Rarity shuddered. “That makes me sound so cruel.”
“Clever deceptions uttered with the express intention of aiding in her security, then.” Lady Greengrass chuckled.
“A much kinder description.” Rarity nodded appreciatingly.
“Do you think I should be there when you tell her?”
“I wouldn’t want to be a burden,” Rarity said.
Lady Greengrass gave her a frown and a glare. “From what you have told me, that is exactly the type of burden to be shared with a herdmate.”
“Yes, but…” Rarity started.
“If our roles were reversed, would you allow me to go it on my own?”
“Heavens, no!” Rarity exclaimed.
“Then why, pray tell, do you think I would let you face this alone?”
Rarity blushed. “Well, I…” she fidgeted a bit before sighing. “You are correct to scold me. As alpha mare, it is both your right and responsibility.”
Lady Greengrass giggled softly. “That is still something I am getting used to.” Her face turned serious at that point. “Which is not to say that it doesn’t bring up another conversation we must have.”
“Oh?” Rarity’s voice held some trepidation.
“Yes, we need to discuss the current laws concerning human, pony herds, specifically, the minimum requirement of two pony mares.”
“Oh,” Rarity repeated. “I admit I have been more than reluctant to broach that subject. Since there isn’t a time limit, I’m afraid I’ve been procrastinating.”
“The topic has not gone unbroached between myself and our husband,” Lady Greengrass said. “Perhaps it is time to partake in some pony social events. Surely, a suitable candidate could be discovered and enticed.”
Rarity frowned and tapped her chin with a finger, a habit she acquired from watching her herdsister. “I shall get in contact with Fancy Pants. I am sure an invitation would be forthcoming if we but asked.”
“I do not anticipate difficulties,” Lady Greengrass said smugly. “In fact, I have several such invitations from mares visiting our shop. If one from this Fancy Pants is of higher quality, then, by all means, we shall go that route.”
“Oh?” Rarity raised an eyebrow.
“It has not escaped notice that we have been seen in public in the company of a princess,” Lady Greengrass said. “I have been sending polite declinations, since we were establishing a place of business. However, I do believe that anticipation has built significantly and the time has come for us to accept such an offer.”
“Well, Fancy does circulate in the highest of high social rings,” Rarity said. “Getting his blessing would not go unnoticed.”
“Then we have a plan,” Lady Greengrass said in such a way that left no doubt that she was a Slytherin.
Wild Yeast looked up at the pair of ponies who had just entered his shop. Though he didn’t recognize the young stallion, the mare he had slung across his back gave a hint to his identity. “Dale? Is that you?”
“Yes, Mr. Yeast it’s me,” the stallion answered. “Crystal and I are in need of some calories.”
“Oui, and coffee,” Crystal Cache said weakly. “There must be coffee. And potion for soreness. I know you have mentioned such a thing existing.”
Frowning, Wild Yeast came out from behind the counter and ushered the pair towards some seats. Without asking, he levitated Crystal off of Dale and deposited her onto a chair. Not long after, a cheese danish and cup of hot coffee floated over to the happy mare. “You enjoy that,” Wild Yeast said kindly. “Now excuse us for a minute; Dale and I have some business to discuss.” Again, he waited for no input before an aura of his magic surrounded Dale’s ear.
“Ow! Ow! Ow!” Dale complained as he had no choice but to follow the elder pony into the back of the shop. Once the door was slammed shut, Wild Yeast turned on Dale and snarled. “What did you think you were doing?”
“Wha?” a bewildered Dale gaped at the furious pony.
“If you were my colt I’d be bashing your head with a heavy branch right now,” Wild Yeast seethed.
“Wha?”
“That mare can’t walk. She’s barely conscious,” Wild Yeast growled.
Dale rubbed his ear and looked over his withers at the door through which they had just passed. “Aaa?”
Wild Yeast sighed deeply and placed his hoof over his eyes to calm himself. “Look, Dale,” he said after a second. “She is a unicorn and you are an earth pony. What you did was selfish, and what’s worse, she isn’t going to complain because that would hurt her tender mare ego.”
“Wha?”
“I suppose we should count ourselves lucky that you haven’t fallen for a pegasus. In all other regards they are hardier than unicorns, but you’d of put a pegasus mare in traction for a month. They are more stubborn and unwilling to admit to shortcomings than any unicorn mare.”
“Aaa?” Dale helpfully added.
“That’s not even counting any perks your human heritage is adding to the mix.”
“Aaa?”
“Hasn’t your father told you to go easy on unicorn and pegasus mares?”
“Aaa.”
“No,” Wild Yeast shook his head to himself. “Humans aren’t used to ponies. So, I’m sure it never crossed his mind.”
“Aaa.”
“Besides, as I understand it, a single human female can deal with several human males.”
“I wouldn’t think so,” Dale said defensively. “I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around.”
Wild Yeast gave him a weird look before commanding, “You are not to touch that mare for at least three days, if not longer. Understood?”
“Yes, sir,” Dale said sincerely. “But she loves to cuddle.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Wild Yeast snapped.
“Ah, right.” Dale took a step back in self-defense.
“Look, Dale,” Wild Yeast said. “Despite their blustering and willingness to protect us at all costs, we stallions are stronger, bigger and have more stamina than mares. That just goes double for you and Crystal if not triple, since you are an earth pony.”
Dale tapped his forehead before looking over his withers to examine his back. Then he sheepishly turned back to look at Wild Yeast.
“Are you telling me you weren’t even aware of that?” Wild Yeast asked with indignation.
“It hadn’t crossed my mind to check before you brought it up.” Dale admitted. “Crystal had more pressing needs.”
Wild Yeast sighed. “You’re impossible.” He muttered. “Just keep in mind what we’ve talked about.”
“I don’t want to hurt Crystal,” Dale said firmly.
“Good; now, we’ve kept her waiting long enough,” Wild Yeast said heading for the door. “Go keep your mare company.”
“Um,” Dale said before following. “Thanks for letting me know.” He said, “This is all new to me.”
“Somepony had to.” Wild Yeast shrugged.
Crystal looked up when the two stallions reemerged and Wild Yeast was pleased to note that several customers had wandered in. If he wasn’t mistaken, many, if not all, of them had been in the audience in Mystic’s shop.
“Welcome back,” Crystal said weakly. “Was business taken care of?”
“Yes,” Wild Yeast said smoothly. “I just had to explain to Dale that the limitations for flour I can purchase for my business is quickly being reached. I needed his advice on how to manage the extra custom that keeps coming from the human world.”
Dale faltered a step before sending Wild a sideways glance. “Ah yes, that reminds me.” He held out a foreleg and called out, “Benny!”
It wasn’t long before a common barn owl flew in from an orthogonal dimension to alight on the earth pony’s limb. The bird looked at him, turning its head completely sideways before swiveling its head and finally fixing its stare on Crystal. “Who?”
“Oui, that is Dale,” Crystal said helpfully.
The owl returned its gaze to the new earth pony and fully tilted its head in the opposite direction. “Who?”
Dale smiled encouragingly before saying. “There is a restaurant wholesaler on Wheatbound Row; go pick up one of their delivery brochures.”
The owl righted its head and gave the equivalent of its specie’s shrug before taking flight.
Wild blinked at the earth pony stallion before saying, “Thank you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have mares waiting to order.” With that, he trotted over to one of the occupied tables while his notepad and quill floated out from behind the counter.
“I wasn’t aware that there were limits on the amount of flour he could buy,” Dale commented as he took the seat across from Crystal.
“I was neither,” Crystal admitted.
“Of course there are limits,” a blue unicorn mare from the table next to theirs said. She and her friends hadn’t been listening in on the stallion and his mare. That would have been rude; so, of course, she hadn’t been. “There is a finite supply each harvest. Even with supply and demand, the princesses must impose a structured distribution to ensure that the citizens’ staple diet is met before allowing for luxury items such as pastries.”
“Um, thanks,” Dale said, a little uncomfortable under the scrutiny of the unfamiliar mare.
“Luck Shot.” The mare bubbly informed him. “My name is Luck Shot, and this is my friend Petite Ears.”
“Nice to meet you,” Dale said.
Crystal sighed. “Not a hour, and mares seek my stallion.”
Petite Ears cringed but said, “We’re sorry, but the competition is going to be stiff, and we wanted to, well…” She let her sentence trail off.
Luck Shot broke in. “We wanted to get our hooves in — at the expense of being rude, I’m afraid. Your mother is a human, meaning you are, too, and we have heard good things about human stallions.”
“Yes.” Petite Ears nodded. “We’ve heard some very good things.”
“Just recently, in fact.” Luck Shot emphasized.
“I don’t know what to say to that,” Dale said. “I mean I knew I was effectively marrying Crystal, but we haven’t had any conversations beyond wanting to be together.”
“Oui,” Crystal said. “Suddenly, I think of friends back home who would come to Canterlot if I ask. Ils seraient ravis. Introducing them to Dale would be most satisfaisante.”
“Oh.” Petite Ears pouted. “How many are we talking? I understand seven is the limit for a human stallion.”
“Um… is this happening fast,” Dale said. “I think it is happening fast.”
“Oui, I have not yet recovered from our first time together,” Crystal said.
“Sorry. Sorry,” said Luck Shot. “We um…”
“You do not wish to scare us away, and you do not wish to lose your chance,” Crystal said. “We do not know you, and you see the other mares in the café are wondering if they too should enter the conversation. I should be more circonspecte yet I only wish to sleep.”
Petite Ears winced and said, “I can see we crossed a line cutting into your conversation. Please forgive us.” Her ears laid back on her skull. “In case you missed it, everypony here wants to get to know you two and perhaps join your herd.” She waved at the café full of mares, who were not raptly paying attention to the conversation. That would be unbecoming; so, of course, they weren’t. “But now would be in poor taste to pursue the matter further.”
“I’m not offended,” Dale said. “I’m not even sure if I should be. If Crystal and I were on a date and some random witch butted in like you did, I’d send them away with their tails between their legs. With ponies and their habit of forming herds, well, I’m making allowances.”
“You’re on a date?” Luck Shot looked horrified by the notion.
“Non,” Crystal said wearily. “We are filling our empty tanks. Soon, I will take Dale on a date as he deserves, but now you have not been as rude as that.”
“We should leave you to your business.” Petite Ears looked frazzled. “We are so so sorry for disturbing you. We won’t bother you again.”
“Don’t stress over it,” Dale said as the two mares leapt from their chairs before rushing out of the café.
“I think we will be having many the same conversation soon,” Crystal said watching the two retreat.
“Minor annoyance,” Dale shrugged taking the time to count the mares decidedly not listening into their conversation. Most of whom were expressing their innocence by whistling nervously into the air. “At worse all of the talking will leave us a little hoarse.”