And as I watched the purple alicorn princess take yet another belt of whiskey, I began to wonder when she stops?
Then, I heard something I never thought I’d hear in a castle…
I heard musical notes! The first was medium pitch, the second high pitched, and the last had a low pitch…
I look up and ask Twilight the obvious question, “What the hay was that?”
She smiles back at me as the whiskey bottle lowers to the table, “Uh, we installed a doorbell!”
I narrow my eyes, “The Castle of Friendship has a doorbell now?”
She giggles,"Uh, yeah! Yes it does! We needed a way to alert us when creatures were at the front door!”
I sigh and stare back at her, “Twilight, you’re drunk! Stay put!” and smile at her… “Let Cozy take care of everything! I’ll be right back!”
<*****>
I widen my eyes at the small white alicorn, “What?”
Hyacinth Hoofdrops smiles, “I got done early today and decided to go ahead and visit my best friend!”
I frown, “But you’re supposed to be in the Crystal Empire?”
She snickers, “I’m an alicorn, silly! I can just teleport wherever I wanna go!”
I widen my eyes again, “Oh, yeah!”
She sighs, “So, how’s our patient?”
“Drunk!” I exclaim while explaining Twilight’s current condition!
She frowns, “Didn’t you try to stop her?”
“Of course! Uh, I mean, I think so?” My eyes go skyward. “Probably?”
“Well, where is she now?”
I look back at the concerned white filly, “In the backroom drinking Scotch!”
“We need to stop her!”
I frown again, “We do?”
Hyacinth nods, “Yes!” before both of us are enveloped in a blinding flash!
<*****>
The purple alicorn half-stared at me as I suddenly appeared in front of her and she soon says, “Oh, you’re both back! Don’t know if I should be happy or annoyed?” before the floating bottle on the left of her head tilts so she can take another belt of Scotch…
I stare at her and say, “Oh, golly! Twilight, you need to put the bottle down! Uh, apparently!”
Hyacinth on my right adds, “Please Auntie Twilight? For me?”
She sighs and turns her head right to take yet another swig of whiskey…
I frown, “Uh, Canterlot! We’re losing her!”
Hyacinth says, “Auntie Twilight, you gotta stop this!”
She sighs again as the glowing bottle slowly glides back to the table… “I know… “
I ask her point blank, “I don’t get it? If you really wanna stop, then why don’t you? What’s so hard about putting the bottle down, Twilight?”
I see her mouth quiver for a moment before she says in an exasperated tone, “They were all I had!”
“Huh?”
Hyacinth asks, “You mean your friends?”
I then remember why she drank and I calmly ask her, “Well, Twilight! You said you wanted us to help you, right? To make sure you don’t drink too much?”
Hyacinth turns her head left towards me and whispers, “Cozy!”
I turn to Hyacinth, “What? It’s called compromise! If she isn’t ready to quit just yet, maybe we can get her to slow down?”
Twilight stares at me, “Yes! I uh,” she smiles… “I admit I kinda liked having you two here the other day… Even though you can’t drink… “
I look at Twilight, “Well, we could, you know?”
Hyacinth turns back to me, “Cozy!”
I turn to Hyacinth, “What? Just because we’re fillies doesn’t mean we can’t drink booze!”
Twilight stares at me, “No, Cozy! Absolutely not! Out of the question!”
I turn to the Princess of Friendship, “So, you admit that drinking is bad then?”
She frowns, “Well, it’s bad for fillies!”
“It’s bad for you too, you know?”
“Y-yes… Yes I know Cozy… But uh… What else is there?”
I frown when I suddenly realized that she simply needs a distraction? “Well, how about a game or we could tell stories or maybe sing songs?”
Hyacinth says, “How about a party? Wouldn’t Pinkie Pie like that?”
“Or maybe a barn dance like Applejack would have or maybe something in the sky like Dash, you know, since we all have wings?”
Twilight sighs again and turns her head right for another belt of whiskey…
I frown again, “Uh, maybe we shouldn’t be talking about what she’s lost?”
Hyacinth turns to me, “Um, you’re probably right? But what should we do?”
“Be there for me!” We both hear the princess say as Hyacinth turns back to her…
I furrow my brow in confusion, “Be there for you?”
Hyacinth says, “So, you’re gonna drink whiskey and you want us to be there?”
She smiles… “Yeah… I liked having you here with me earlier… It made me feel better… “
I stare at Twilight and blankly say, “She’s an anti-social social drunk!”
Twilight widens her eyes to me as her mouth straightens, “What?”
I smile, “Golly, yeah! You don’t like many ponies, but being around them when you’re drinking is better for your spirit… “and widen my eyes… “Quite the conundrum, huh?”
Hyacinth stares at me while Twilight says, “I uh, never actually thought about it?”
“Speaking of things that are out of character!”
Twilight frowns, “Huh?”
I shake my head, “Uh, never mind Twilight! How’s the whiskey?”
She sighs, “Well, it’s better now that my friends are here… “
I widen my eyes when the implications of what she just said occur to me, “Friends?”
She smiles again, “Yeah, didn’t I already tell you that?”
Hyacinth asks me, “Cozy, what are you doing?”
I turn to the other filly, “It’s called talking to other ponies! Uh, you know how you didn’t have any friends earlier?”
“Hyacinth! How’s school going for you?”
Hyacinth turns to Twilight and says, “Well, I’m having some trouble with math and science,” and smiles,” but I love my Ponish and literature courses and I like my creative writing class!”
I say to the other filly, “I can help you study, you know?”
Twilight smiles at me, “I think that’s a wonderful idea, Cozy!”
“Well, golly gee, it’s not like I got anything better to do?” I say before wondering why I care about all of these things?
Hyacinth finally turns to me, “You’d really do that for me, Cozy? You’d help me?”
I blink, “Well, sure! Why not? I mean, you’re my friend, right?” and it suddenly becomes a lot clearer to me!
Hyacinth smiles and then does the unthinkable… She scoots her chair towards mine and embraces me in a tight warm hug!
“EEP!”
Twilight grins, giggles, and turns her head to take another belt of whiskey…
At that point, I knew I was one for one for the night… On one hoof, I couldn’t get Twilight to stop drinking, but on the other, I had bonded with my new friend…
New friend…
My friend who turns to me and says, “Hey, could you help me with just a couple of questions I had before my pre-algebra course tomorrow?”
I turn to face her while Twilight kisses her bottle again, “Uh, ask away!”
She frowns, “Um, I think I’d better just show you?”
“But your books are in the Crystal Empire?”
She sighs, “I’m an alicorn, remember?” before smiling and forcing her horn to glow again…
<*****>
Hyacinth frowns at me while staring with her pinkish gaze, “Wait! So X is a number?”
I frown from my side of the table as she stares down at one of the two books she has over some papers, “Well, it’s a value or an integer or uh,”I eye her carefully, “you know what Hyacinth? Yes! It’s a number!” and nod! I stare at her intently as a new thought just crossed my mind, “Hey, have you told Cadance about Twilight’s alcohol addiction?”
She widens her eyes as I sit there, “Oh, goodness, no! They haven’t seen each other in years and the last thing I want mom to do is to worry about Auntie Twilight!”
I widen my eyes, “Wait! You were there yesterday!”
She nods, “Yes, I was there, yesterday! My mom stayed in the empire!”
“Oh, golly!”
She gazes at me carefully, “Do you think I should tell my mom that Twilight’s addicted to booze?”
“DON’T YOU DARE!” We both hear a familiar feminine voice scream from somewhere!
I widen my eyes again, “Oh, golly! Uh, apparently not!”
Hyacinth raises her gaze from me and says, “Auntie, please! You need help!”
“I’m fine! I quit drinking for the night already, see?” I hear a voice from behind me say.
Hyacinth says, “Yeah, but you finished almost all the bottle!”
“Right, and I got a few swigs left for my hangover, later on! No problem!”
Hyacinth adjusts her gaze, “You think maybe the fact that you’re literally preparing to be hungover on a regular basis is a sign that you might be drinking way too much?”
“No!”
I finally say, “Twilight, just think about this, okay? Thinking! Remember doing that a long time ago? You’re always hungover, and you regularly use cures for said hangovers!”
“Where’s the problem?”
Hyacinth sighs and looks above me, “Auntie, just uh, don’t drink anymore tonight, okay?”
“I already said I wouldn’t! Look Hyacinth, I won’t drink anymore until tomorrow morning when I hit that whiskey!”
Hyacinth teleports and I turn behind me after situating my body to the right to see that she’s there, staring up at her aunt, who’s currently smiling down at her and staring dreamily with her purple eyes…
Hyacinth stares up at her aunt nervously and anxiously says, “Just uh, slow down, okay? For me!”
Twilight takes two paces forward and embraces the filly in her right forehoof and holds her lovingly, while closing her eyes and whispering, “Okay, Hyacinth… I’ll slow down for you…“
I widen my eyes, “So uh, I guess that’s it huh? Twilight is gonna cut down on the booze, and we’re gonna help her?”
Hyacinth turns her head right to stare at me, “Well, right! Assuming nothing else happens!”
And suddenly, we all hear a buttery masculine voice say, “Like perhaps, a certain draconequus might get involved in the sobriety project?”
… Oh, golly…
(To be continued… )