//------------------------------// // Into The Portal... // Story: Fat Albert, Super Jerk, and the Goblin Tower // by DeathRiseRobo //------------------------------// ***A/N: Well, this is officially going to be the weirdest story I've ever written. It's halfly based in real life, and the other half ponies, with crossovers into 40 other series(es). I wonder how it's going to turn out.** "SPIKE! HAVE YOU SEEN MY BOOK ON THE HISTORY OF CAKES?" Twilight yelled, trotting down her library's set of wooden stairs. The book's check-in date was today, and Twilight couldn't miss that, or else she'd get an earful from her panic side. Twilight didn't have to worry about the money side of all that; she lived on goverment stipends, for gods sakes. She hurriedly scoured all the shelves in the library, only to have a sudden remembrance of where it was. "D'oh. It's with Pinkie." ```````` "PINKIE! WHERE ARE YOU?" Twilight cried. She had arrived at Sugarcube Corner just moments ago, only to find a desolate shop. But Twilight didn't give up. She needed that book, or else the voice in her panic side might speak again. Twilight headed up the stairs to Pinkie's pink door, and knocked. "Pinkie, you better come out now," Twilight growled. A big, round eyeball popped out of Pinkie's doorframe. "Oh, h-hi, Twilight," said Pinkie nervously. Twilight eyed her suspiciously. "Pinkie, I've come here to collect your book. Are you feeling alright?" At the mention of book, the pink baker's eyeball popped right out of the frame, and Twilight swore she could hear the Thundercats opening. "Pinkie, are you ok?" Dead silence. "Um... Pinkie?" Another dead as night silence. This is crazy, Twilight thought. I'm going in. First, she tried the classic Daring Do approach: breaking down the door. Oh, this is going to be so fun, Twilight thought, delivering a weak kick to the bottom of the door. Daring Do said from her first-person perspective that this was as easy as pie- CRACK On second thought, this is a Pinkie pie. ---- After Twilight got out of the fetal position of sucking her hoof, she tried to think logically here. What would Pinkie Pie do to hide a secret? she thought, and then was struck with her own hoof in the face. Absolutely nothing. Twilight turned the doorknob with a whir of her magic, and took a peek inside Pinkie's room, only to find white space. Sure, you could see the stains where she had eaten candy, or where there was a stain from endless partying, alcohol, and cake, but there was nothing in her room. Except, of course, for the giant blue portal and the note right next to it. Twilight decided to go for the note first, and in the usual Pinkie Pie scrawl, it read out like this: Dear Twilight, oh hi twilight ill be in the portal if you need me. i dropped the book in the portal. its not mine this time. took all my belongings with me. grab my halberd from the banister and bring cake. Your Friend, Pinkie (Diane) Pie Twilight sighed yet again. Well, at least she got mine and her names properly written, thought the grammar nazi. Knowing better then to question her, Twilight grabbed the halberd with her mouth and stuffed a cake in her saddlebags. Boy, would she need it. `````` LEVEL 1: EASY AS BUCK Fred leaped from the couch, ever-happy. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH! Guess who just got pwned in dis awesome game, dude! YOU!" "Argh, this is the fifth time..." Roy mumbled. *cue morgan freeman's narration* "Hi, ya'll, I'm Morgan Freeman, and I'm here to tell you that it's not good to brag to your friends. You could make them angry, or worse!" A old-timey diner glass window separated Twilight from this horrid scene, and she looked on in confusion. Morgan Freeman's voice had the sound of crystalline through the glass, making him sound jumbled and *gasp!* sarcastic. "Well... that was random. Where am I? What are those things? And why do I feel deja vu?" She looked up to see an orange portal, swirling in place. "Wait... didn't I come from a blue one?" ----- LEVEL 4: PINKIE PIE STYLE Meanwhile, in Pinkie Pie's verse, only 3 levels away from Twilight... The evil forces clawed at Pinkie's ammunition, and she managed to force them away for just a bit longer, separating them from her stuff. "ARGH! Where's Twilight? There's no end to the grunts! And Master Chief's down!" Pinkie yelled. Her bullets ripped apart the head of a grunt, splaying his guts for the world to see, and she advanced onto its remains. "WHERE'S THE AIR DROP?!?!" Obviously angered, Pinkie curiously found a golf club laying on the ground. And it was a Halo edition as well. Strangely grinning, Pinkie grasped it with her hooves and cackled. ----- Back to Twilight's verse. Twilight had finally gotten past the retro glass, and was now entering a thin, blue, liquidized mirror. What is this stuff? she thought. An eerie, liquiding sensation crossed over Twilight as she passed through the mirror, blurring her sense of vision and other senses. Fearing for the worst, Twilight grabbed onto her halberd's shank and held it in her mouth. But much to her disdain, all she saw were barrels. Mountains and mountains of barrels. And no way up except hills. She would have to jump. "LEEEEEEERRRRRROOOOOYYYYYYY JENKINS!" Twilight yelled, and jumped over barrel after barrel, using her halberd whenever she got the strength to pick it up. Row after row, level after level, Twilight persevered as a gorilla blocked the exit and climbed higher and higher, beckoning Twilight to follow. When she finally got to the top, instead of a giant gorilla, there was a door. Exhausted, Twilight fell asleep as she exited the mirror and passed into mushrooms. Specifically, the Mushroom Kingdom. What she didn't seem to notice was the ginormous gorilla resting on her backside. And smiling. ----- And now back to Equestria... "Now, Angel Bunny, eat your carrot," Fluttershy chided as Angel pushed the carrot away yet again. Angel Bunny hasn't eaten for weeks, Fluttershy thought. This is for his own good. Angel's eyes widened as the icy Stare made its way into his poor eyes, and he quickly devoured the carrot. "That's a good Angel. Yes, yes it is." Fluttershy chided. Dangit, lady. You're really getting on my nerves, Angel thought. I'm ditching this hellhole, and fast. And with that, Angel yelled, "HADOUKEN!" and jumped through the portal that sprouted from the ugly blue ball of fire. "See ya later, lady," Angel- er, Ryu in a bunny costume, yelled back with a wave, and ducked his head and ginormous body inside the newly-created blue portal. Fluttershy looked down the portal with intent beyond all equestrians and stared straight down the portal's center. "Oh, Angel Bunny. What am I going to do with you?" Fluttershy sighed, and then jumped in herself into the portal, unknowingly awaiting the toll of the sounding bell. And what Fluttershy didn't see was what made it interesting. A bright flash of light keelhauled her vision, and all her memories were swept up like donuts at a soccer game. Instead, they were replaced with years in the Granite Orphanage, with her and her sisters wanted as adopted daughters, a single name present in her mind, her own: Jennifer. 10 rolls of the bell could be heard as the letters flashed upon the screen of the NES, and a golden tower lay on the right side of the screen. C L O C K T O W E R -Fin P1 Alright, everyone, it's voting time! Vote which Clock Tower Ending you want to see Fluttershy in. And if you don't know what Clock Tower is, look it up or else. In other news, I need all the randomness I can get! I'll take anything!