Pewdiepie was still utterly confused as what to do next.
“I feel like I’ve exhausted every possible scenario for this trainwreck of a story!” Pewdie started to smash his face into the wall out of frustration.
“You know...” Stephano drawled saucily “We could give them a show...”
Pewdie shoved the statuette away from him. “No, Stephano... no. Just no.”
“Come on! We’ll be together for-”
“Stephano, please. I have Mishka! I can’t be with you, and no, we’re not going to blame the murder on Mister Chair because there won’t BE a murder!”
“Well, you could always just-”
“SHUT UP!” Pewdiepony yelled loud enough to make Smosh jealous. Angrily, the youtuber trudged over to Luna, who was now huddled in a corner, crying. “Let’s just go and see what we can learn from Luna’s memories.”
Pewdie and Stephano (who was somehow moving despite not having legs) crept up behind Luna, who was still sobbing in the corner.
“Um, Luna?” Pewdiepony asked softly, putting his hoof on her shoulder. “You ok?”
Luna looked up and Pewdiepie with glowing red eyes, teeth bared, and claws instead of hooves. Lashing out in rage, she screamed a bloodcurdling scream, getting read to rip Pewdie a new plothole.
“Pewdiepie has startled the witch.”
“Oh, come on, I don’t even play Left 4 Dead!”
***
Derpy walked softly through the halls. Dinky should be safe for the time being, as she had the Doctor come and pick her up.
He had dealt with weirder things, after all, and was only slightly scared stiff when he saw the Bros and beat-up Sexualoffenderman.
“Um, Derpy? What’s going on here?” he had asked her while Derpy grabbed a keg of beer, McPixel Weapon choice.
“I’m off to kill an enemy I hoped to never seen again,” she said casually, donning some body armour.
The Doctor nodded his head in understanding. “Ah yes, I know the feel. Try not to die, ok?”
Derpy rolled her good eye. “I’ll try not to, mom.”
Derpy smiled at the thought of her previous conversation with the Doctor. It was a bit of normalcy that seemed so very devoid in both of their lives nowadays. Oh course, the Doctor’s life had never been normal...
Entering the large room where she was to battle McPixel, Derpy took a good look around. It was plain, with simple greyish walls, and torches illuminating either side of the room.
From the other side of the room, a door opened, and McPixel stood there holding a large keg of beer. He was also wearing a samurai bandanna, and no pants.
Derpy averted her eyes from McPixel’s shriveled glory. “So, how are we going to fight, just beat each other with the kegs, or-”
McPixel began to chug his keg very, very quickly. Derpy gave him a puzzled look. When he was finished, he burped, satisfied. Then, he directed his, er, “joystick” towards Derpy.
Both of Derpy’s eyes widened. “Oh no.”
A giant stream of golden glory smashed the grey pegasus right in the face, harden then anything had ever done before. McPixel laughed in joyous victory as Derpy was forced to the ground by the sheer force of it. At one point, Derpy made the mistake of opening her mouth to attempt a breath, and consequently, nearly drowned.
After the brief battle was over, McPixel nearly passed out from dehydration. Derpy struggled slowly to her hooves, and clocked him over the head with her barrel keg.
“Barrels 1, McPixel 0.” Derpy grinned, and then passed out.
Meanwhile, as Pewdie and Stephano were running from Witch-Luna, Pewdie hung his head low, and began to gasp for breath.
“What’s wrong, Pewdie?” Stephano asked.
“I felt a great disturbance in the force... as if a barrel just triumphed over a mighty warrior...”
I’d like to take some time now to apologize for this chapter.