Okay, okay. I KNOW what you're thinking. "Will, why are you Godzilla from the hit classic Godzilla (1998) which surely didn't garner the rage of quite a lot of people?"
Well... to answer your question would be to answer the question of life itself. Buddy, I ain't no philosopher, nor am I a master of physics, and quite frankly, those two are very unorthodox. I can't even solve practical problems!
Woe, is me, for I am but a man, fie! A very handsome, fit man... okay maybe not. But, yeah, in all honesty, I am just a man. A man of commitment- nope, enough of that. I used to be a man. With normal fingers, normal knees, normal toes. But, lo and behold, for I am a creature not of this world. Maybe it's of this world, I mean, it was made with Godzilla in mind... just, you know, dinosaur-iguana thing.
All right, for starters, it happened like this...
"Will!" George (my best friend) called out to me one day as we were working the usual 9-5 job. I signed the NDAs so I won't tell you about my work, just know that I work an office job. So there I was, typing away, selling my soul to produce a possibly adequate workload of 900 words, when I hear this man, this boy, my boy, call out my name.
"Will, Will, guess what?" George said as he walked towards me. He had a pamphlet in his hand, the words "Comic-con" written all over.
"I'm guessing," I said, not knowing what Comic-con was. "Is it Comic-con?" A smile appeared on his face as he grabbed my shoulders.
"Nope," he said, smiling, "Jennifer's free tomorrow night, said something about continuing the D&D campaign."
My eyes bulged at the information. Jennifer? Free for D&D?! May the lord have mercy for I am about to conquer the dungeon solo! I turned to look at him, giving him my "I doubt it" face, only for him to smack the pamphlet on my face. "Also, there's this thing, it's a few weeks from now."
"What the heck is this?"
"You bring shame to all of us nerds," he snorted, giggling at my confusion. "It's Comic-con dude, where you get to cosplay whatever character you want, buy some stuff, and get free ballpens."
I hummed as I stared at it. "Do I need to be a comic book character though?"
"Nah, you can be whatever you want, whoever you want," he said, looking at the windows as he whispered in my ear. "I plan to cosplay the building itself."
"You wouldn't! I call blasphemy, heresy! How would you even move?" George then pointed at his legs. "Adequate moving joints, I guess. Maybe you can push me in a trolley?" I smiled and shook my head. "Ah well, there's that plan I guess."
"So, wait, I can cosplay whoever? Like, no joke?"
"No joke!" He then dangled a photo of himself cosplaying as Deadpool, his arms around a girl with very long hair. And pink, too! With... I assumed it was cardboard, but it's probably made out of something else.
"Who's that other character?" I asked, pointing at the woman, who was acting shy. George grinned. "Well, when I said ANY character, I didn't lie. That's Fluttershy, from My Little Pony." I blanched. My Little Pony? That weird kid's show that my niece punches me for if I don't know the characters?
I had to do a double take. It appears anyone can cosplay as anything. "So, wait, if that's possible, can I cosplay as the trashcan that Oscar the Grouch lives in?"
George laughed, his face full of mirth. "Buddy, buddy, buddy! I've seen people do that exact cosplay before. There's even this muscular Diglett."
"A few weeks from now, eh? And, well, we don't have much for workloads, currently..." I then looked at him, my hands chin resting on my hand. "Alright, I'll join this thing," he raised his fist and ecstatically bumped it in the air.
"You better try your hardest making a costume, my friend," he laughed menacingly, "for your photos shall remain in the dark forces of the INTERWEBS!" I shuddered. Art was... not my strongest skill. Heck, I draw the sun on the corner of the paper still! I inhaled, thinking about it long and hard. Then again, memes are good. I can make myself a meme.
"Oh yeah, it's all coming together."
Going home from work is most definitely my favorite pastime, with lunch break being at the second of my list. Bossman is nice, kind even, going so far to try and help around the office. Apparently he's also going to Comic-con, or well, goes to Comic-con on his free time with his wife. That meant he's actually doing his best to make all of our ends meet just so he can go.
I wonder if I can pester him? Nah, too much hassle. Anyway, where was I going with this? Oh yeah, so since he's also going, that meant more free time for us, which meant a bit more time to build some stuff. I am good with painting, at least, mini figs that is. Regardless, I knew exactly who I wanted to cosplay as.
Decepticon Brawl, the 2007 movie version. My love of tanks will never be beaten out of my system! That tank thing over there? Yeah, that would be me in a few weeks. Still, I don't even know how to make it, which sucks, obviously. I had to rely on... eugh, Jim, of all people, to help me, along with George.
Jim's a nice guy, he's a great tailor. He's also responsible for managing the accounting stuff. Which makes him VERY IRRITATING to talk with regarding this project of mine, but then again, he's also the loot goblin in our D&D campaigns. When I asked what to use for my cosplay, he had to talk to me about different fabrics and materials, to which I countered with, "But they're metal."
Regardless, Jim told me, and most definitely didn't lecture me, to buy cardboard instead, which was very much obvious. I had to stop and look at my computer screen every so often to try my best at drawing the different parts.
And finally, after days of slaving myself to finishing this project, I'm happy to say... that I only managed to make a somewhat accurate head/mask and the two gun barrels on his back... and the pointy minesweepers. I lost track of time, I'm not gonna lie. Deciding that I should try and do something, I simply bought a onesie that was robotic, glued the cardboard parts on top of it, and bam, cosplay done.
Finally, the day of reckoning. Comic-con... T'was alright. Free ballpens are nice. Some people asked who I was cosplaying, I said I tried to cosplay as Brawl, and that it's my first time doing it. Some of them were nice, some of them... not so much. Ironically, the same people that weren't nice were the ones WITHOUT a costume on. I rolled my eyes at that, then again, dealing with customers as a job tends to remove your ability to get emotionally hurt.
Roaming, roaming, taking pictures here and there, I got called out by a merchant. Fancy saying that term, eh? Merchant. Anyways...
"You, kind sir, may I interest you with props for your wonderful cosplay?" The merchant said, waving at his collection of actually really good props. There were Yautja masks, some sick Metroid weapons, to things like Mario hats, powerups, and a strange picture of an egg. From quality shark hoodies with the logo "Hungry Shark" sewn with different shark heads, large weapons from RWBY, and finally, Transformer stuff.
The merchant smiled as he analyzed my "cosplay". "Ah yes, proud are you to cosplay such a strong character. A shame, really, for him not to have more screentime."
I sighed at that. It's true, Brawl didn't even get that much screentime. Hurts that the Autobots won that battle, despite Optimus being bodied. Shaking my head, I smiled at the merchant... not that he would see me smile though, with my head covered by my shoddy craftsmanship I call a mask.
"Yep, Brawl may not have that much screentime, but it was still cool," I said, shaking my head as I sighed.
"Indeed. As such, would you like to buy this?" The merchant then offered me what appeared to be Brawls main gun barrel, a Decepticon logo on it's side of the bore evacuator. It looked nice, awesome even! But, something else drew my attention. Something glossy, something crispy. Something made of eggshells.
I looked back at the expecting merchant, smiling as he offered Brawl's main gun. "Well, my friend? This would complete your cosplay to a fine degree."
"Hmm, I dunno. I don't even think I can consider this as cosplay," I said, weighing my options. On one hand, hell yeah! A gun barrel prop? I can probably make an artillery prop after. On the other hand, I want the egg. That specific 1998 Godzilla egg.
"Oh, trust me, your cosplay is wonderful, especially for a new timer. Those cardboard props must've taken you quite some time to make," he said, emphasizing his words with such flattery, befitting of a merchant. It's working though.
"Well, how much is it?"
"For you, I'll give a discount," he grinned. Ah, he was buttering me up, eh? Too bad, I am not used to such things! I am very dense, and I want something else.
"No thank you," I said, much to his confusion. "I want that one, please."
The merchant shook his head, confused at what's happening. "Uh, no, isn't this what you wanted? To complete your cosplay?"
"Nah, I want the egg, please."
"But, wouldn't you want to complete your look instead?" The merchant kept on, wanting to sell the gun barrel. Probably some shoddy craftsmanship, or something he wants to get rid of.
"No," I simply said, "I'm not looking to complete my look, more on, enjoying how I look." I removed my mask as it was getting harder to see due to fog building up. "I mean, I rushed how I look like just so I can come to this and buy stuff."
"But wouldn't you like to buy something relating to your character then?" The merchant said, almost fuming at my decision to buy something else.
"No," I said once more. "I have some collectible action figures of the Leader Class Brawl now, so I just want the egg."
"But-"
"No buts," I said, genuinely annoyed now. "What kind of a merchant are you anyway?" I then looked around. Ohh... Must be some kind of merchant that sells stuff relating to the character... and he's in character for it... Yikes, I think I made a mistake. I didn't even realize that I did a sharp intake of air... I was cringing hard, oh no. Damage control! DAMAGE CONTROL!
"Can I just, uhh, buy the egg please? You're probably still in character, and I'm sorry about that," I smiled sheepishly.
"Why don't you want to buy this instead?" He then showed me a classic Gen 1 Decepticon Brawl back gun barrel. "Maybe it's this one you want?"
Cringing at myself, and at this interaction, I shook my head. "No, sorry, I want the egg..."
The merchant, giving up (I guess), decided to put back the gun barrel and handed me the egg. He had a scowl on his face. "I promise I'll buy the gun barrel later... if you haven't sold it yet." There was no response, only scowling and grumbling.
I touched the egg, and seeing darkness envelop me with those hateful and scowling eyes didn't really make my day. Definitely didn't make my day when I got buried deep in the ground, covered in darkness and worms.
So yeah... I woke up in this random lake near some huge castle in the distance along with this dark and spooky forest. I... okay, I say huge but, well, I think I can just sidestep it if I wanted to. I noticed that I wasn't as large as the original Godzilla, with the trees still being bigger than me. Huh, perhaps I am a young Godzilla. Or maybe it's like that Skull Island where the trees are just bigger. Oh dear, maybe the residents were giants! It didn't exactly help that I scared someone with my random appearance. Well, I say random but more like, I rose from the ground, probably causing an earthquake.
Of course, the natural response was to call the authorities, and the authorities did come... just not authorities I was used to. Whatever that egg did, or whatever that merchant did, it worked, because now I find myself in front of an army of (large?) horses with armor alongside two regal (and definitely large) horses with wings and horns. Oh, did I mention I was bigger? I was probably the size of a dragon. And, well Godzilla was almost the same height as the buildings around him...
Were these horses giants too?!