//------------------------------// // Going to College // Story: Twilight Tries... // by Peni Parker //------------------------------// Hi, everypony, and welcome to another episode of Twilight Tries! In today’s episode, I’ll be doing something that I always intended to do but never did because, well…because of a lot of things. Today, I’m going to try…going to college! Now I know this may come as a surprise to some of you, but I truly have never been to college before. And to be completely honest, I’m kind of surprised by that as well. Growing up, I always envisioned myself attending the University of Canterlot – go Sun Warriors – after finishing my lessons with Princess Celestia. But as I’d said, a lot of things happened that kept me from attending U of C: I got sent to Ponyville to study friendship, I became a princess, I started having to save Equestria on a regular basis. You know, those kinds of things. Now I will say, I’m very happy with the course my life has taken even without having gone to college. I’ve learned a lot and accomplished more than I’d ever imagined I would, but lately I’ve been feeling that I’ve missed out on some things by never having gone to college. Things like joining a sorority or studying abroad for example. I’ve always wanted to do some studying in Ornithia. But anyways, because of these feelings I’ve come to the conclusion that going to college is something that I need to do. I need to have a ‘college experience’, as some ponies say. So, yeah…that’s why I’m doing this episode. Now I should mention that, in all likelihood, I’m not going to go through college all the way to completion. Most colleges in Equestria have programs that require a minimum of 4 years to finish, and sadly because of my princess duties I can’t devote that kind of time to studying these days. But even if I don’t graduate, I feel that going through at least a little bit of college can be both intellectually and socially rewarding. So with that said, it’s just about time for my first class to begin. So let’s head off to campus and get this college experience underway! . Oh, right. I almost forgot to mention something important. Unforetunately, the college I’ll be attending in this episode won’t be the University of Canterlot. Princess Celestia informed me that enrollment there was already full for this semester, so because of that I had to choose a different college to go to. The college I’ll be attending instead of U of C is still in Canterlot, but it was only founded a few years ago. It’s called Eastern Canterlot University – go Moon Knights - and it’s funded through bits provided by a trust in Princess Luna’s name. Now I’m sure that some of you are aware of the rumor that Princess Luna only founded Eastern Canterlot as a tax write-off, but I want to assure those of you that that rumor is 100% untrue. Princess Luna herself told me that she founded ECU as a way to show Princess Celestia that she can start a college that would be just as successful as U of C, so there you have it. But enough of all that, let’s get to class! Class - Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields Huh, I’m the only pony here. How strange. I thought this class would've been completely full. . Oh, that must be the professor. Good morning, ma’am! . . Yep. It appears it’s just the two of us. . . Great! Let’s get started! . . Uh-huh. Quantum entanglement. . . Ooh. Wave-particle duality. How fascinating. . . The electron…tastes like grapeade? Uhhh…what? Okay, well, that was certainly an…interesting first class. The professor sure seemed to know a lot, but I’m not so sure that everything she said was accurate. I highly doubt that the Heisenberg uncertainty principle was named after a character on a TV show. But anywhoo, it looks like we have a bit of time until my next class, so why don’t we take this opportunity to explore a few sororities? I’m pretty sure it’s recruitment week for all of them right now, so it shouldn’t be too difficult to get some information about what each of them is like. Now, where’s sorority row? . . . Ah, there it is. . Hello there! My name’s Twilight Sparkle, and I was wondering if I could get some information about possibly joining your sorority. . . I’m in?! Just like that?! Um, sorry, but isn’t there supposed to be a whole recruitment process for this? Like a pledge week full of events or something where we get to know each other better? . . You’re low on recruits so you’re just accepting ponies on the spot? That’s…a little concerning. Wah! Uh, miss? Where are you dragging me to? . . The initiation ritual? Huh. I didn’t realize sororities had those. . Ooh. This sorority house is nice. . . Time for me to receive my sorority name? Oh, goodie! I wonder what my name will be! . . I’m sorry, did you say my name is…Chickpea? . . Um, if I may ask, why is my sorority name Chickpea? . . W-Why not? Uh, you know what? Chickpea is a fine name. I love chickpeas. They’re very nutritious. Heh heh. . . Time for the second part of the initiation? Um, okay. What happens in the second part? . . What?! Oh, um, you know what? I just realized my next class starts in five minutes, so I should really get going now. Bye! . Phew. I got out of there just in time. So, yeah. I’m thinking that sorority life might not be right for me. Not if it involves bean-based nicknames and very…intense initiation rituals. Seriously, why would anypony want to do something like that with a cricket bat? Well, I guess I might as well actually head to my next class – even though it doesn’t start for another hour. . Is that pony over there dressed up as a giant carrot dog? Okay, so I’ve decided not to show the class I just went to because, well…I’m not even sure one can even call it a class. Remember how in the first class I was the only pony there? Well in the class I just came from, the room was grossly over occupied and some of us got relegated to what is apparently referred to as a ‘spillover class’. Now what is a spillover class, you may ask? Well, basically, it’s just a class where you sit in a room and listen to the lecture going on next door through a speaker. Yeah, seriously. I can’t help but wonder if Princess Luna knows that such ‘classes’ are going on at her college? I would like to think that she doesn’t, because if she did then they wouldn’t be happening. I’ve heard of distance learning before, but that spillover class was just ridiculous. *SIGH* I have to say, I’m feeling a little disappointed by my college experience so far. I’ve had to deal with a class where I was the only student in the room with a professor who believes that quantum physics means anything can happen at any time for no reason, a class that was so crowded I couldn’t even listen to the lecture from within the room it was given in, and a sorority that wanted to perform an initiation using a cricket bat in a way that I’m pretty sure would have violated the laws of the Griffonstone Convention. The only thing I have left on tap for today is a meeting with the director of the abroad studies program, and I’m really, really hoping that it goes well. Because if it doesn’t then I just…I don’t know if I’m going to feel like continuing with this whole college thing. And I really don’t want to quit after only the first day. . Okay, here we go. . Good afternoon, sir. I have an appointment to meet with the Abroad Studies director. . . Twilight Sparkle. . . Thank you. . Hello, ma’am. I’m here because I was hoping to do some studying abroad and wanted to learn a bit more about that program. . . I can partake in the program, no problem? Oh, that’s such a relief to hear! After the day I’ve been having I was half-expecting the abroad studies program to have been shut down or something. So, what are some of the locations I can choose from? Mount Aris? Yakyakistan? Ornithia?! Please let Ornithia be an option! . . You have a list of all the locations? Oh, okay. Let’s just see what all of the available options are then. . Huh? Uh, ma’am? None of the locations on this list are abroad. They’re all within Equestria. . . They’re as abroad as the program’s budget will allow for? Oy vey. All right, well, t-thank you for your time, ma’am. I’ll take a closer look at this list and get back with your office once I’ve made a decision. Have a nice day! . Yeeeah, so I don’t think I’ll be participating in the abroad studies program if it’s not actually going to, you know…take place abroad. *SIGH* College hasn’t been anything like I’d expected. I don’t know if it’s because of how college looks on TV and in movies, but the real thing isn’t as fun or intellectually rewarding as I’d hoped it would be. Now to be fair, it’s entirely possible that my lackluster college experience has been due to the school I chose to attend and is in no way indicative of the college experience as a whole. After all, who knows how things might have gone had I been able to attend the University of Canterlot like I'd originally wanted. Wait a minute. Ooh, I just got a great idea! I should try and enroll at U of C next semester and then do a college experience comparison study against everything I've experienced here at Eastern Canterlot! *SQUEE* . Um, but putting that aside for now, I think it’s about time we wrapped up this episode, everypony. So as always, thanks for watching, and I’ll see you next time on Twilight Tries! . . Uh, n-no thanks. I don’t want to ask you about your carrot, giant-carrot-dog pony.