//------------------------------// // Big Day // Story: The First 'Prettiest Young Changeling' Contest // by Wise Cracker //------------------------------// The next day, Ocellus woke up sore and with about twenty percent more anxiety than usual, which was well within the margins for an examination day, and this beauty contest definitely fell into that category. She was quiet all through breakfast, and both her parents and siblings were kind enough to let her be. Eventually, when she’d freshened up and checked her clothes, and checked them again, and checked the weather forecast for good measure, she packed up and went to the Hive’s main meeting hall. It was on the ground floor, not too close to the entrance (Pharynx insisted on at least a minimal level of security), and wide enough to hold five hundred prisoners, though it had been stretched to seven hundred in the past a few times. She checked in with one of the officials, and went behind a curtain into one of the side rooms and into sweet, sweet privacy, as much as could be had with a bunch of girls in the same room. With all the holes still in the place, it was pretty easy to find a spot to spy on the stage without being seen by the audience, but there wasn’t much to see yet. Okay, I’m in. I have my dress, I have my bathing suit, I have my cheerleader uniform. I look good. I look pretty. She looked around. Oh no, and everyone else is looking gorgeous. Cuticle was looking buffed up and shiny, and judging from how she was talking to some of the other contestants, she looked confident. As Ocellus sat down nearby the discussion, she heard Serrate pipe up. A quick glance told her Serrate was, for once, not carrying a blade. That only worried Ocellus more, as it implied either the girl was taking this very seriously, or Serrate was packing a back-up someplace secret. “Don’t forget Pharynx is one of the judges today,” Serrate said. “And you all know I’m his favourite.” “You’re his favourite propaganda piece for the Home Guard, you’re not his favourite girl. You’re not even related by blood,” Trachea replied, getting in on the action with all the smooth confidence one would expect from a ninja. “You’re one to talk,” Cuticle retorted, flashing her shiny hooves. “How’s anyone going to think you’re the prettiest? Half the time you try to be invisible.” “It’s called Dandere and it’s considered very cute in the East,” Trachea replied. “Are you sure it’s not Yandere?” Sensilla asked. “I thought Yandere was the one with the slashing.” And there’s Sensilla. I hope she’s not going to show off her trained bats again; that’s a tough act to follow. “Eh, I could go either way,” Trachea joked. Ocellus gulped. Trachea, like Serrate, didn’t appear to be carrying any ninja kit, but much like Serrate, there were plenty of options for concealed weapons. “And what do you think, Sensilla?” Cuticle asked. “It’s probably kinda new for you to do a show on your own instead of bringing one of your fleabags.” Sensilla flashed her a kind smile. “That’s okay, Cutie: I asked the fleas to crawl into your dress last night. You really should lock your room better.” “Y-you’re lying.” Cuticle shivered. “And water that rose on your windowsill, for crying out loud. That poor thing was parched.” In a reflex, Cuticle started scratching herself. Part of Ocellus wanted to object to that dirty trick. A much larger part was wondering where in the friendship lessons the concept of ‘karma’ came in. Finally, Trachea motioned to Ocellus, the first to notice her. “You’re awfully quiet. More than usual. Are you okay?” “I hope so,” Ocellus replied. “Good luck out there.” She meant it, too: out of all the girls, Trachea was probably the one with the best set of moral values, even if the Neighruto overdose gave her a tendency towards making a scene. “You too.” She smiled softly. “I do kinda wanna know how this goes. F-for research purposes, of course. A good kunoichi must be able to blend in among all levels of society, even the highest ones.” “Of course.” Right at that moment, a clamour erupted from beyond the improvised dressing room. A stallion called out, walking onto the hurriedly constructed stage, from the sound of it. “Ladies and gentlelings, welcome to the Hive’s first Prettiest Young Changeling Contest! My name is Cheese Sandwich and I’ll be hosting today’s events.” Ocellus felt her heart sink. They got him to do this? How? When? Why? Cuticle poked her head out to get a quick look. “Cheese Sandwich? Is he famous for something?” “Believe it. He’s a highly influential party planner in Equestria,” Trachea noted. “Top of the industry when it comes to entertainment.” “Oh, I don’t know. He can’t be bigger than Pinkie Pie.” Ocellus tried her best not to sound nervous, but if Trachea was up to speed on Cheese Sandwich... “Pinkie Pie is mostly local. Cheese Sandwich is national,” came the reply. Yup, she knew. “And one thing he is notorious for: he knows a proper laugh when he sees one.” Trachea growled. “Well, that just bumped this mission up to S-rank difficulty. Whoever got him for this knew what they were doing. You’ll never get a fake smile past the likes of him.” Ocellus gulped. She’d figured as much. Cheese Sandwich kept on rattling off his introductory speech, wrapping it up with the judges. “And judging this lovely contest, we have our panel: Tymbal, head of the Feelings Forum.” “It’s a pleasure to be here, and I hope to see some genuine and sincere displays today,” Tymbal said. “We have Photo Finish, of Canterlot Fashion fame.” “Let us see how these girls can perform under the pressure of a professional standard. Let me see… da magics!” Ocellus only vaguely recognised that voice, but a professional fashion pony made sense. It’d be impartial, at least. She shuddered when she realised the flaw in her logic. Photo Finish would be impartial, unless one of the girls had mistreated her on a kidnapping. She wasn’t even sure if Photo Finish ever got kidnapped. And on the bright side: the whole kidnapping thing happened when every changeling looked the same, so holding a grudge would likely be a lost cause. “And rounding us out, we have the Hive’s big brother, the one changeling who’ll give a noogie to any invader: Pharynx!” Even in the back rooms, all the girls could hear Pharynx chuckle. “You can be pretty and act cute all you like, but remember we’re here to send a representative. I’m not going to let us be seen as weaklings. Do your best, show us what you’re made of.” Ocellus shuddered. “Sounds like he wants to send us into war.” Cuticle psh-ed. “We’re girls. War is for boys, remember?” “We’re shapeshifters, Cuticle,” Sensilla noted. “War is an equal-opportunity tragedy for us.” “Whatever, flea bag.” “Wax addict.” Cheese Sandwich, oblivious to the backroom banter, blew on a horn to sound the signal. “So, let’s get this show started!” Ocellus felt like a Princess once she got into her dress. It was one of Rarity’s older designs, something that would later inspire the ‘Princess Dress’ fad that had taken over Canterlot a year or two ago. It matched her colours, it had little white dots that went well with her ladybug carapace, it looked fine, even if she hardly ever wore it. Most of the other girls had, apparently, gone for the full experience, and rather than getting the prototype, they had the actual Princess Dress. Cuticle was up for the interview portion first, and she’d taken the time to replace the wings on the original Princess Dress with butterfly wings. Well, minimal effort is still better than nothing. The other girls leaned out of the holes in the back room to get a good look at the proceedings, unseen by the crowds. “Alright, first up we have a girl who was nominated ‘Most Likely to Replace Royalty,’ a girl who can wind anyone around her finger as soon as she turns into something with fingers, give it up for the cutie, Cuticle!” Cheese announced, and Cuticle strode onto the stage with all the confidence and air of superiority of a swan in a duck pond. “So, Cuticle, if you had the powers of Discord for one day, what would you do?” Cuticle bared her teeth in a broad and fake smile and replied “I’d make all the ugliness in the world go away with a snap of my fingers.” Cheese Sandwich’s ears flicked. “Wow. Do you really mean that?” “Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t I?” “It just sounds like something you might have copied from a book, is all. Next question: If you could go anywhere in the world, what would it be and why?” Cuticle feigned some kindness and a bleeding heart, aww-ing. “Oh, golly. I’d go to Griffonstone to give away soup to all the poor starving griffons.” At this point, Ocellus could see Cheese Sandwich had seen through her. He flipped a few questions ahead on his list to find a tricky one. “What was the most recent book you read?” Without a second thought, she replied “Fur, Feather, and Fame: How to Win any Beauty Contest as a Young Griffon.” Silence fell over the crowd. The judges were shaking their heads. Cuticle shrugged. “Well, you know, technically that is the most useful thing for me to read.” Cheese Sandwich kept up his smile. “Can’t blame a girl for trying. That’ll be all, next up, we have the Hive’s resident animal caretaker, future veterinarian, if it has fleas in its hair, she will care: give it up for Sensilla!” Sensilla, for her part, had gone with a more traditional dress. In fact, Ocellus was pretty sure that was the same dress Professor Fluttershy wore to a Gala or two. How Sensilla had gotten a hold of that design, she didn’t know, but she made a mental note to tell her Kindness teacher to do a background check on the local squirrels. Sensilla’s first question was an easy one. “What do you think is the most pressing issue in our environment today?” Sensilla pouted and thought for a moment. “I think it’s a little worrying that our entire planet is one pony tribal dispute away from a global Ice Age, and one pony scavenger hunt away from losing all magic in the world. We should really think of something to stop global cooling, and secure our magic.” Cheese Sandwich, rather than taking offence, nodded. “Eh, fair point. Next question: what would be your perfect day off?” Sensilla sighed. “Swimming with dolphins, brunch with lemurs, and dinner with eagles.” Ocellus glanced at the response, and at the other girls. Everyone behind her looked like they’d made the mistake of underestimating Sensilla. Cheese Sandwich, again, nodded in appreciation. Pharynx didn’t look too impressed, but Photo Finish and Tymbal were smiling as they took notes. Not a good sign. “Last question: How important is it to look good at all times?” “Oh, my animals don’t really care about that,” the girl blurted out. “In fact, they like it more when I’m dirty.” Ocellus winced. Ran right into that one. Still, two out of three, that’ll be tough to beat. “Well, at least you’re honest. That will be all.” He nodded and Sensilla walked off. Ocellus gulped. Her heart started pounding in her neck. “Next up we have a girl with smarts to match to match her looks. Her eyes get a glint for anything mint in print. Global saviour of magic and student under a Princess, let’s hear it for Ocellus!” Oh yeah, I did help save the world once. Funny, I didn’t feel so scared back then. Could I go back to that now, maybe? She barely felt the ground under her hooves when she landed from her high vantage point. She practically glided onto the stage, one hoof after the other, careful not to trip over her dress. Once she stood, facing the crowd, facing the judges, she took a deep breath and smiled, steadying herself for the onslaught of questions that would surely break her and destroy her public image. “Now, Ocellus, you are a bookish type,” Cheese Sandwich started. “What makes you think you can compete in a contest of beauty and come out victorious?” She gulped. “Honestly? I’m not sure. But I want to give it a try, and I want to do my best.” She flashed a genuine smile. “Just because I might not be great at it at first, doesn’t mean I can’t try, and it doesn’t mean I don’t stand a chance.” She didn’t see Cheese’s response, but Tymbal nodded in appreciation. “What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do, and why did you go through with it anyway?” “Cheerleading,” she blurted out, and instantly regretted it. Saving the world was much more prestigious, but it didn’t feel right to bring that up. “It’s hard for me to speak up, but I thought it was important that I learn how. Plus, like you said, I’m more of a bookish girl. There’s a lot of times I know things that other ponies, or other changelings, don’t. If I can’t make myself heard, if no one listens, then there’s not much of a point in being smarter. Not that I think I’m always smarter, of course. But learning to speak up was, umm, important for me. So, I did.” That answer was too long, she was sure of it. The crowd didn’t know what to make of it. The flipping of flash cards snapped her out of her reverie. “Okay, then. Take your time on this one, because it might take a little while. What is your favorite book, and why?” If she’d been overthinking before, she stopped thinking at that one. Favorite book? The one I enjoy the most? The one I enjoy reading to others the most? The one I’ve read the most often? She took a deep breath, and then nodded to herself. “I guess I have to say… The Sorcerer of Em, first book of the series. That was one of the first ones I learned to read, and it’s my favorite because all of Little Gale’s friends look like they’re broken, but really, they’re perfect for what they have to do. The Scarecrow fends off the swarm of birds, the Steel Stonecutter chips down the megaliths… oh, that’s a stone creature, by the way. It gets confused for golems a lot, but technically they’re… n-never mind. And then the Crying Wolf chases away the dogs with his howling. The only one that doesn’t seem special is Little Gale herself, but she’s the one who decides to go on the trip. She decides she’ll help, even if she doesn’t have to.” Ocellus stopped when she felt everyone staring at her. “I don’t know, that just kind of appeals to me.” Cheese Sandwich nodded. “And rightly so, from the sound of it. I’ll have to read that one myself. That’ll be all.” She turned and walked back to the changing room. She didn’t even hear the other girls remark on her performance. I blabbed way too much on that. Sorcerer of Em? Seriously? That’s a children’s book. Why didn’t you just say Friendship Journal? Star Swirl’s Compendium? That’s way more respectable, and they would have believed that! At least Cuticle messed up more. Still, I’ll have to catch up on the swimsuit portion. Trachea was the last girl to go, and Cuticle had been too busy moping to change her clothes. Ocellus had donned her swimsuit right from the start, but a few of the girls weren’t dressed for the next portion yet. That’s odd. Maybe they don’t have any swimsuits? One of the changelings helping with the proceedings poked her head in. “Okay, girls, curtain’s down. You have five minutes to change into your bathing suits, make sure you’re ready for the lineup.” Cuticle harrumphed. “Like it takes us that long to change.” “It takes me 0.1 seconds,” Trachea boasted. Ocellus tilted her head. “That sounds like a lie, honestly. No one can do it that fast.” “Bet you I can do it faster.” Serrate joined in the fray, also not dressed. “Uh, girls? I don’t think you understand the assignment here,” Ocellus tried. “It’s not about speed,” Sensilla joined in, “but about form and functionality. And on that, I think I have all of you beat. You can’t beat a natural design.” “Big deal. I can do it before a pony can blink,” Trachea added. “A true ninja can change on a whim, after all.” Ocellus rolled her eyes and went out to the lineup behind the curtain, deciding that the argument was going to happen regardless. One girl came out, not dressed in a swimsuit. Then another, and another. Oh no. “Change” into your swimsuit? Seriously, girls? “Alright, and now without further ado, let’s see what the swimsuit portion has in store for us!” The curtain went up, and one by one, green flames erupted from all the girls, leaving only scattered piles of soft, stretchy, and undoubtedly hydrodynamic fabric. Ocellus winced when the girl next to her poofed into a bikini. She sighed, rolled her eyes, and admitted defeat to herself. She flopped onto the floor, a perfect copy of her own swimsuit, except for the pair of eyes that was still present. “Well, zat’s a first,” Photo Finish remarked from the judges’ table. “But in hindsight, perhaps we should have been more specific. You are supposed to wear the swimsuits, girls, not become them!” Ocellus turned back, and caught Tymbal looking disappointed. It didn’t take long for the contestants to get dressed properly, though it did leave Ocellus standing awkwardly and alone for a while. Cheese Sandwich cleared his throat. “Okay, after that interlude: the swimsuit portion! You will be doing a rescue for this event, to show you can handle tough situations and prioritise the safety of those around you.” Serrate, wearing her camo green onepiece (possibly stolen from a military depot) raised a hoof. “So what’s the rescue?” Cheese Sandwich smiled. “You have to get a citizen out of harm’s way. We went with a classic this time: an innocent pony dangling over a pool of piranhas.” Trachea furrowed her brow. “So who will be the one dangling over piranhas?” That smile turned into a grin. “The real Cheese Sandwich.” A few dozen changelings came flying by, carrying ropes to hold a water tank partly suspended in magic. There was a crane mechanism connected to the edge above, which held a tied up and suspended Cheese Sandwich. Pharynx dropped his disguise. “Feels good to flex the old deception muscles again. ” Ocellus looked at the table where the judges sat, and sure enough, Pharynx had swapped himself out with a bundle of straw and carved wood. “Umm, Mister Cheese, sir? Are you okay?” she cried out. The stallion was dangling over the tank, but he was still smiling, happy as ever. “Oh, I’m fine, thanks for asking!” He yelped when one of the fish jumped up to nip at him, narrowly dodging the bite. “It’s the second time in this week I’ve been in this position, it’s fine, really.” Ocellus shook her head in confusion. “How do you get yourself dangling over a piranha tank twice in one week?” He chuckled at that. “You don’t get to be top party planner of Equestria without making a few enemies. Anyway, girls, as Pharynx was saying: I need saving! You have to get to me, quickly, and get me out of the pool before I get eaten.” Cuticle barely managed to pick up her jaw. “I thought this was supposed to be a beauty contest?” “It is,” Pharynx replied. “You all think you’re beauties, and you’re competing. I told you: I’m not gonna let our Hive be represented by weaklings.” Ocellus looked at herself and her clothes. “And why do we need to be in our swimsuits for this?” “Because we can hide an injury with our magic,” Pharynx replied. “But hiding damage to your clothes, well, that’s a little tougher. So, Cutie? You’re up first.” Cuticle growled and braced herself. “Go!” One of the changelings flicked a lever and dunked Cheese Sandwich in the tank, leaving Cuticle mere seconds to fly up, dive in, and rescue the stallion. “Ow!” she yelped, flicking one of the fish off of her. Pharynx inspected the damage to both her and her rescue. “Two bites, three nips, and one nibble. Not bad, but a little slow. Next!” Ocellus took her spot on the lineup. She looked up and started calculating her trajectory. “Please don’t be too slow?” Cheese Sandwich asked. “There are a lot of you, and I don’t think these fish are lactose intolerant.” Ocellus smiled up at him. “Don’t worry, sir. I know what to do.” “Go!” Pharynx sounded the signal. With a mightly leap, she dove into the pool and started splashing to draw the attention of the fish. Then she turned into a giant teal piranha, opened her mouth, and let nature take its course. With their survival instinct driving them far away from the bigger fish, Ocellus had no trouble picking up Cheese Sandwich and getting him out of the pool. “Wow. I didn’t get a single bite on that one,” he said, shaking his head to get his mane dry. Pharynx stood and stared at her, stunned. “A fear effect. You used a genuine, proper fear effect. I’ve gotta admit, didn’t think you had that kind of firepower in you, Ocellus. Nice one.” She blushed. “It’s, umm, it’s something I picked up in school.” “Huh. Guess some of those ponies are tougher than I gave’em credit for.” “You have no idea,” Cheese Sandwich agreed. “Okay, next up: Sensilla!” Pharynx called out. “If our victim would assume the position?” Ocellus flew down to the stage where the other girls were. She grabbed a towel and idly hoped it wasn’t a contestant while Sensilla repeated the trick of turning into a predator to scare the fish away. It wasn’t a giant piranha this time, though. She couldn’t quite tell what it was from that distance. “That’s a little small, isn’t it?” “But more effective,” Trachea answered. With a flash of green, Sensilla turned back and carried the stallion out. “Wow, an Amarezonian giant otter,” Cheese Sandwich noted once he was out. “Smart thinking: those things literally eat piranha for breakfast.” Ocellus furrowed her brow. “How do you know that?” Pharynx asked him. The stallion chuckled. “You don’t get to where I am without making a few enemies, and a few weird friends. Next!” “He seems a little too enthusiastic to be dangling over a piranha tank.” Ocellus breathed out a sigh of relief. “But at least I did okay. Good job, Sensilla.” “Thank you, Ocellus.” Sensilla smiled as Ocellus gave her a dry towel. “It’s nice to see I’m not the only girl around with some animal smarts. I think the two of us might have the high scores on this one.” “Serrate? You coming or what?” Pharynx called out. Serrate marched up to the tank. “Sorry, sir. Had to sharpen my knife.” Then she put her knife between her teeth and grinned at the tank. The fish took one look at her and spontaneously evolved the gift of flight, jumping out of the tank and splashing helplessly in fear. Ocellus groaned. “Oh. Right. Fear effect. Guess this one’s a lot easier once you know what works.” Ocellus took a deep breath, staring at her own reflection. Her cheerleader outfit was clean, it was intact, it was good. Trachea walked past her. She was, true to form, dressed in a purple ninja outfit, complete with mouth-covering mask, hood, and a few weapons dangling from her waist. “Good luck,” Ocellus said. “Thank you. You too.” Trachea lined up and waited for the signal. “Okay, and now for our final event: the talent show! Let me remind everyone what this is all about. Our contestants will be showing off what they think is their greatest talent, what their defining feature is, and how it makes them beautiful.” Ocellus gulped, looking down at herself again. Scoots likes girls who wear this. That means it’s beautiful, right? “And first on stage for this event is Trachea! Trachea, what do you have for us?” Heavy percussion sounds started playing, an Eastern Unicorn composition from the sounds of it. Everyone gasped when Trachea dashed onto the stage and did a backflip, unhooking a chain from her waist. It had a weight on one end, and a small scythe on the other. A kusarigama. Wow, I didn’t even know she had one of those. Does she know how to use that? If she didn’t, she certainly knew how to put up a good show. Trachea practically danced with her chain, lashing out and spinning the weight towards an imaginary opponent. She kept the scythe end of it close by, only slashing at the air until she went into the finale. First she let the chain loop around her waist again, then she grabbed both ends and started whirling them around her faster and faster, the sound of it cutting through the air almost louder than the actual music. With a one final ‘thump’ of the drums, she brought the chains to a standstill and presented weight and scythe to the judges. Ocellus felt her heart sink. “Wow,” Serrate said. “That’s a tough act to follow.” “For a martial arts tournament, maybe,” Cuticle retorted. “But it’s a beauty contest, you silly goose. What’s the point of competing if you’re just going to wear a mask?” Ocellus gulped. As much as she hated to say it, Cuticle had a point. She looked over at Cuticle then. The girl had a point, and a pretty good outfit. In fact, she had an outfit that looked a lot like what Ocellus was wearing. Including the cheerleader pompoms. “For our next act, we have Cuticle!” “Wish me luck, Celly,” she taunted, grabbing a megaphone on her way out. “She wouldn’t…” Ocellus started. Right away, Cuticle hit the stage with a backflip into a frontal split, timing it to music that Ocellus had heard a few times before back in school. Unfazed by the split, Cuticle jumped up and shouted into her megaphone. “Okay, here’s how it works! I’m gonna yell Changeling! And you yell Hive!” From backstage, Ocellus hissed under her breath. “Cuticle…” “That… kind of sounds like what you were talking about,” Sensilla started. “No, that’s exactly what you were talking about,” Trachea added. “I was there the first time, this is your act.” “You saw that?” Ocellus cringed. “Ninja training,” Trachea replied. “Plus, I… I wanted to see how you were doing. And you did well. Apparently, Cuticle thinks so, too.” The act was exactly the same, though cut up into bits and pieces. Aside from copying the shouts and the music, Cuticle changed herself into copies of the other cheerleaders to do parts of the dance, the heavy ground slam Yona had done, everything. “She stole your act,” Trachea said. “Want me to get even?” Serrate offered. Ocellus, for her part, sighed. She let her head hang, getting another good look at herself in the process. Who am I really kidding? That act wasn’t mine in the first place. I can’t do this. It’s just not me. And I don’t even know what is.