//------------------------------// // Digging Up Trouble: It's a Smuggler's Life for Me! // Story: The Time Ponies (Fail to) Take a Vacation // by My name is R //------------------------------// As it turned out, there wasn’t a lot of work to do on a cargo ship in flight. Emerald spent the whole first day swabbing the deck, while they had Derpy do an inspection of the hull and help keep watch. Rarity had apparently decided to help prepare the meal, a fact that the cook didn’t seem to appreciate as much as the rest of the crew. When they were in the bunks at the end of the day, Emerald spoke up. “I wouldn’t want to live this way, but being a cabin filly for a day was kind of fun. What about you?” “It’s… slow,” Derpy answered. “Kind of relaxing. But also kind of boring.” “I doubt it will feel that way once we reach our destination,” Emerald pointed out. “I bet that’s when everything really happens.” “I can’t believe they actually eat such, such… goop,” Rarity put in. “Really, I don’t see why they couldn’t stock proper food. I had to use some of our supplies to help with dinner.” “I bet it’s cheaper their way,” Emerald answered. “Though the crew seemed to appreciate your additions.” The second day went much the same as the first until shortly after lunch, right down to Emerald swabbing the already clean deck, because apparently the Storm King didn’t allow breaks, whether or not there was any work to do. After lunch they reached Abbyssinia, and it was all talons on deck dealing with the cargo as quickly and efficiently as possible. Once they had unloaded everything a pair of yetis and an Abyssinian checked through the cargo, as well as their saddlebags, much to Rarity and Emerald’s discomfort. However they barely paused at the signal gem, merely jotting a note down in their book before pawing everything back. “Alright, you’re good to go,” the Abyssinian said. After they were done Captain Celeno saw them off. “It’s been good sailing with you,” Celeno said. “I hope you find whatever you’re looking for.” “Wind at your back lass, where'er you go!” Emerald said, waving. “You’ll just embarrass yourself like that. The time of pirates is over.” “Then all the better that we remember the stories of our past.” And with that they headed out, walking through the streets, avoiding the parts that were blocked off with rubble, looking for… something. “So… What exactly are we looking for?” Emerald asked. “Well, usually we would look for some sort of revolutionary hideout by asking some discreet questions, like in Klugetown,” Rarity answered. “But I think we should try the black market, if we can find it.” “Black market?” Derpy asked. “Like, a market that runs at night?” “No, a black market is a market that isn’t known to the local authorities,” Emerald answered. “Though, that might be where they get their name.” Emerald froze in place. “Wait a minute. The Storm King is scary because he controls the food, right?” “Yes,” Rarity answered. “So why don’t they start growing crops again?” “I don’t know. Maybe we should make that one of our questions.” “But how will we even find them?” Emerald asked. “It’s not like we can just walk up and ask for information if they’re hiding.” “Well, we don’t need to actually buy supplies, so what if we try to start with the buyers?” Rarity suggested. “Okay, but how?” “I was thinking that you should grab some food from your home and try to sell it here, either near the regular market or near the farms.” “Yeah… That could work. I’ll go talk to Doc, wait for me here.” Emerald pulled out her signal gem and walked over to a glass window on an empty looking shop before activating it. After a moment the glass rippled and she stepped through. It was only a few moments before Emerald returned through the window, saddlebags bulging with rounded things. “I’m back. Just took a quick trot to market to grab some apples.” “Wonderful. Now let’s set up in a back alley near the market district and see who comes.” They found the marketplace right in front of a castle that was in considerably less ruin than The Castle of the Two Sisters, but it definitely took second place. “I wonder what happened to it,” whispered Emerald. “The Storm King probably attacked it as a show of force, either before making his demands just to show he could, or after he was refused,” Rarity answered as they entered an alley. “Now, would you mind offering me an apple? And setting your saddlebags next to you?” Emerald did as she was asked, and Rarity began shining the apple on her cloak. “Now, we wait.” A few Abbyssinians looked into the alleyway during their first fifteen minutes or so of waiting, but it wasn’t until one dressed in a policeman’s outfit strolled by that any of them entered. Emerald tensed, but he held his paws up and stopped once he was all the way in the alley. “I’m not here to harass you, I’m just here to ask a few questions,” he said. “What sort of questions?” Emerald asked, suspiciously. “How did you smuggle that many apples through the border inspection?” “That’s a trade secret, but I can say that there’s more where this came from,” Emerald answered. “Why?” “Because I was wondering if you could get farming supplies the same way. I can tell you’re no friends of The Storm King, but are you just looking for money, or are you here to help? Either way I’ve got an offer for you, so please, just tell me the truth.” “We are here looking for a way to loosen The Storm King’s hold over these lands,” Rarity answered. “Then follow me, and keep those apples hidden.” He led them out of the marketplace and into a barracks, where they found others dressed in the same outfits. “Welcome to what’s left of the Abbysinian guard. I know it’s not much, but we’re doing our best with what we have. We also have a small farm hidden from the frosties, but I was hoping you might be able to help us expand.” Emerald snickered. “Frosties! I like it.” Rarity studiously ignored her companion’s lack of decorum and stepped forward. “I’m sure that we can bring you whatever basic supplies you need.” Emerald regained her composure. “Right. I can’t exactly pull infinite supplies out of nowhere though, I still have to buy them.” “Of course we would pay you. We aren’t as rich as we once were, but we’re willing to pay triple the price that seeds sold for before The Year of Darkness. And double price for the other farming supplies if you can bring them, but if not we have other channels.” Emerald quickly ran some calculations in her mind. She didn’t know how much seeds cost, but she did know that selling anything for twice what you paid for it with a buyer already lined up when you bought it was a hard deal to beat. Of course she had been planning on helping them regardless, but suddenly she saw what a great opportunity she had to branch out her business. “Certainly! I would be more than happy to help you get anything you need! Just give me a list and we can start working out how to get it all to you inconspicuously.” It took a while for them to work all the details out, but by the end everycreature was satisfied. Well, Emerald was pretty sure that Derpy had just been nodding politely as things flew deftly over her head some of the time, but that was fine. “Alright, we’ve got everything taken care of here. Now I guess it’s time to head back to Ponyville,” Emerald said once they were back outside. “Actually, I was considering sticking around Abbysinia for a few months before heading back,” Rarity answered. “Oh. I guess this is where we part ways then.” “Thanks for joining our adventure,” Derpy added. Rarity smiled. “Thank you for having me. I rather enjoyed it.” Emerald activated the signal gem at a window and stepped through. The trip was still quite disorienting, but when you went from one upright surface to another, and had some experience, it wasn’t too bad. “Welcome back from your trip,” somepony said. It was probably the Doctor, but the figure seemed to be Siamiese twins, though that could be her vision, since there also seemed to be a pair of tubas melted together behind it. “I wasn’t expecting you to take so long.” Emerald waited until her vision synchronized and looked at one of the Doctor’s clocks, which read four seventy, somehow. Then she checked two more clocks which both read twelve thirty, so that was probably accurate. “I wasn’t expecting to be gone that long either, I assume this is the night we left?” “Yes. You took about twice as long as I was expecting, so instead of arriving at around dinnertime you showed up a little late for bed. But you told me you were planning on staying overnight, so I figured it would be fine.” “Well I need to make sure Dinky and Ray are tucked in tonight. Goodnight Emerald! Goodnight Doctor!” They both waved as Derpy started up the lift. “Doctor, can I ask you a favor?” Emerald asked. “Certainly.” “Could you build another of these machines?” The Doctor took a step back. “Whatever for?” “I’ve got a large shipment to make to a very particular place over there, and I’m not sure I could fit everything down here.” “Well… I suppose it is possible. But it wouldn’t be able to temporarily alter its destination.” “That’s fair. I don’t need it to anyway.” “And I would have to ask that you only travel to worlds that we’ve already cleared, so only the changeling’s world for now.” “No problems there.” “And of course you’d have to be sure you can maintain secrecy.” “Of course.” “Well… Ok then.” Exactly one week later, save a few extra hours to make sure that absolutely nopony would disturb her, Emerald stood in a warehouse in Manehattan. It wasn’t a new warehouse. The glass was grubby, she’d had to replace the locks, and added bars while she was at it, and it was only thanks to the help of her O&O group that they had gotten everything ready in time. Of course, her O&O group had no idea why she wanted their help cleaning out an old warehouse, but when she had told them that if everything went well they’d never have to pay a fee to fund the game again, they were eager to help. The reason she hadn’t set up in a nicer warehouse was because she wanted to own the land that she did this on, and she simply could not afford a nice new warehouse. As it was she’d had to apply for a loan, citing an expansion to her business, which was true enough, from a certain perspective. She was expanding her business from a bookstore to the first multiple world smuggling ring Equestria had ever seen. The banker had simply assumed she was expanding in book related areas. But the World Hopper was fully operational, the warehouse was full of the supplies the Abbysinians had asked for, and after tonight she’d be able to pay back the loan in full. Cuckoo! Called the clock on the wall. Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Three o’clock. The time to move. She flipped a switch on the Hopper and it began spinning up. The World Hopper was much less visually interesting than the TARDIS, since Emerald was more worried that somepony would find it somehow. It consisted of a large metal box with a padlock keeping it closed and a mirror twice as tall as Emerald, and just as wide. In a few moments the mirror rippled, and then faded, revealing the other side. She stepped through, and it was like stepping through a cobweb. Unpleasant, but not disorienting in the slightest. Once through she gave a whistle, and thirty Abbysinians stepped out of the darkness. None of them were wearing the outfit of the ones at their barracks, but they had warned her as much earlier. It helped keep anycreature from noticing them when they didn’t want to be noticed. “What’s that?” One of them asked, pointing at the portal. “It’s a portal back home. You can come through to get the supplies, but under no circumstances are any of you to leave the warehouse, okay?” They nodded, and she led them back through. Between them all they quickly emptied the warehouse. “Here’s your payment,” said one of them, as he and a friend brought in a crate of their own. Emerald opened the crate, and started speaking as she reared up. “Oh, this is too much.” Then she saw that inside, rather than her preferred currency of bits, or the expected payment of regents, it was full of paintings and clothing. “What is this?” “Well, if you insist on coin we can pay you in regents, but we figured since your economy is doing far better than ours we could pay you in luxury items that nocat back home could afford.” “Oh. Well, this could work. I’ll have to work a little harder to offload these, but they do look valuable. If this is easier for you then sure, I can work with these.” That morning Emerald woke with a song on her lips as she readied the shop to open. “♪The Warehouse stocked in Manehattan in the waning of the light There’s thirty cats in ‘Sinnia to make my burden light And there’s thirty carts in the sewer for hauling in some grain All set this night upon your life in dark and streets of rain “♪Smugglers feed revolution fine and the darkest night is the smuggler’s time Away we ran from the Storm King’s hand It's a smuggler’s life for me It's a smuggler’s life for me “♪Oh lass you have a cozy bed, and friends within yer gate Can you not live a lawful life and live with lawful mates? But must they use The Storm King’s goods while there's foreign gear so fine? Must I drink at the waterside and ne’er step out of line? “♪Smugglers feed revolution fine and the darkest night is the smuggler’s time Away we ran from the Storm King’s hand It's a smuggler’s life for me It's a smuggler’s life for me “♪Though well I like to see you sis, with a baby on your knee My heart is now as a gallant crew that plough through the angry sea The bitter gale, the tightest sail, and the sheltered bay our goal It's the wayward life, it's the smuggler’s strife, it's the joy of the smuggler’s soul “♪Smugglers feed revolution fine and the darkest night is the smuggler’s time Away we ran from the Storm King’s hand It's a smuggler’s life for me It's a smuggler’s life for me “♪I’d ever hoped to go and seek adventure of my own But I thought it was too late for me for alas I had all grown And now I see that when e’er ye want ye can go out for to sea And in those gales if ye can prevail then ye shall ever be free “♪Smugglers feed revolution fine and the darkest night is the smuggler’s time Away we ran from the Storm King’s hand It's a smuggler’s life for me It's a smuggler’s life for me It's a smuggler’s life for me It's a smuggler’s life for me!