OF CARAMEL AND GRASS SEEDS
By GeodesicDragon
Clumsy. That's what they called me. That and a few other choice names, which I'm not gonna repeat. And all because I lost my seeds. At least, that's what I told them.
The truth, on the other hoof, is far more bizarre than anypony could ever have thought. And that's what I will divulge now.
Why? I honestly don't know, but I'm still going to do it anyway.
It was Winter Wrap Up in Ponyville, and I had been given the job of planting grass seeds. And I would have done it too, were it not for that stupid unicorn. Twilight Sparkle, I think she's called.
Seriously, what the hay was she thinking, using magic to begin with? I don't care if that's how they clean up winter in Canterlot. Down here in Ponyville we do it the old fashioned way.
Anyway, she caused an avalanche, which meant that we had to wait for the huge mound of snow to be cleared. Not that Twilight stuck around to help, oh no. She ran off crying, which left us falling further and further behind schedule.
Since I was on crop detail, I decided to go for a walk. After all, I'm not quite strong enough to pull the snowplough, so a walk was the next best thing.
After making sure that nopony was watching, I sneaked away from the disaster at the farm and began walking around the perimeter of town. Ponyville in winter really is beautiful, and I'd recommend it to anypony seeking a holiday.
Darn, I'm going off topic again.
I passed by the boutique and heard tutting. I'm sure I also heard the occasional curse, but I can't be sure.
Sure enough, Rarity was there working on a bird's nest. Not that it looked like one, of course. I always thought she was meant to be good at designing and making things?
Walking away from the boutique, I saw the pegasi above me arguing about how best to get rid of the clouds. Some were in favour of bucking them, while the others were in favour of pushing them over the Everfree and leaving them to their own devices.
One of the 'pro-buck' team argued that the clouds would simply come back at a later date. The other pegasus said he didn't really care, as he wasn't even in the Weather Patrol, so we should just 'let them handle it when the time comes'.
Eventually, another pegasus, Rainbow Dash, came along and bucked the cloud, before berating the arguing pegasi. She seemed more interested in yelling at them, instead of the huge number of clouds floating around her.
I sighed and continued walking, eventually coming to the animal dens. I heard a bell ringing, followed by a voice saying something I couldn't make out. Since Fluttershy is the only pony I know who speaks so quietly, I assumed it was her.
My assumptions were soon proven correct, as the pegasus in question soon came into view. She had her head in a den and appeared to be cleaning it - if the clouds of dust rising above her head had anything to go by.
I felt something nudging me. I looked down to see a rabbit poking me with his paws. I recognised him as Angel, Fluttershy's pet.
I never really liked Angel, if I'm honest. He doesn't seem at all grateful for the love and attention Fluttershy lavishes on him.
Anyway, Angel kept on poking me.
"What?" I asked him.
He pointed at the bag of seeds and rubbed his stomach.
"Oh no," I said curtly, "these aren't for eating. They're for planting."
I could have sworn that Angel gave me an evil stare when I said that. It was really creepy.
My words appeared to fall on deaf ears, however, as he jumped on my back and tried opening the bag.
"Hey," I yelled, "knock it off!"
My shouting must have startled Fluttershy, as I heard a squeak, followed by a dull thud as she smacked the top of her head off the top of a den.
I grabbed Angel by the scruff of the neck and put him down. Now I'm positive that he gave me an evil stare this time. I never knew it was possible for a rabbit to narrow their eyes like he just did.
"Angel?"
Fluttershy emerged from the den, rubbing her head and looking a bit concerned. She came over and picked up her pet, placing him on her back. His stare was replaced by a blank look.
"What happened?" she asked me.
"He was trying to get into my saddlebags." I replied. "They're full of grass seeds that I'm supposed to be planting."
Fluttershy cocked her head at me.
"And why aren't you planting them?" she said. "If you don't mind me asking, that is."
"Some unicorn used magic and caused an avalanche." I explained. "So now we have to wait for the snow to clear. Seemed as good a time as any to go for a walk."
Fluttershy smiled awkwardly.
"That was probably my friend Twilight." she replied. "She's new here, so probably isn't used to how we do things. I'm sorry."
I looked at her blankly. Sure, somepony was apologising for the mess, but it was the wrong pony.
"You have nothing to apologise for," I said, "except maybe him."
I pointed at Angel, who quickly put a look of shock on his face as Fluttershy turned to look at him.
"Angel?" she cooed. "He wouldn't do anything to anypony."
"You obviously didn't see him trying to take my seeds." I snorted.
Fluttershy turned to look at me.
"No, sorry." she said. "But if you don't mind me saying..."
She trailed off and we stood looking at each other.
"Go on..." I said, waving my hoof in a circular motion.
"Well," Fluttershy said, "it's just that Angel is very well fed, so I don't see why he would want to steal your seeds."
I shrugged.
"Greed?" I suggested.
Angel glared at me.
"Well," Fluttershy hoofed the ground, "I don't think you would lie about something like this, so I'm sorry."
I waved my hoof dismissively.
"No harm done." I said. "He didn't get any of them, so it's good."
Fluttershy picked Angel up and put him on the ground in front of me, nudging him with her nose.
"Say you're sorry, Angel." she said timidly.
The rabbit's ears drooped and he grudgingly held out a hand, which I took with my hoof.
Fluttershy smiled.
"Apology accepted, Angel." I said. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back."
"Oh, okay." Fluttershy replied. "I have animals to wake, anyway."
I gave them both one final wave before turning around and heading back towards the farm.
Having realised that my absence had probably been noticed, I broke into a run, trying to make up for lost time.
Suddenly, there was a twanging noise and I was hoisted into the air, dangling unceremoniously from a tree.
"What the-?" I spluttered.
I looked at my trapped hoof. A crude snare was wrapped around it, the rope wrapped around one of the branches.
I laughed inwardly to myself.
"I bet it was those Crusaders that did this." I said.
A few days ago, the Cutie Mark Crusaders had been trying to get their cutie marks in adventuring. They got the idea from the Daring Do books, and realised if they could get out of, or even avoid, various traps, they'd be just as good as she is.
They had all ended up in hospital after falling into one of their own pitfall traps.
As I contemplated my situation, I heard a rustling noise behind me. I turned my head as best as I could.
Angel was standing on the branch, an evil smile on his face.
The colour drained from my cheeks as another thought entered my mind. Though the fact I was hanging upside down from a tree probably contributed to that as well.
As I watched helplessly, Angel sauntered over to me, his grin getting ever wider.
With a single swift action, he reached into my saddlebag and grabbed the packets of seeds.
Sticking his tongue out, he leapt from the tree and disappeared into the bushes.
I hung there, open mouthed in shock, unable to comprehend what had just happened.
I was brought out of my gloomy reverie by a deep voice.
"Er, Caramel?"
I looked down and saw a red stallion looking up at me, a look on his face that was somewhere concern and amusement.
"Oh, hey Big Macintosh." I said as coolly as I could. "Could you, er, get me down?"
"What in tarnation are ya doin' up there?" he asked, as he grabbed the rope with his teeth and lowered me to the ground.
"I think I got caught in one of the Crusader's leftover traps." I said as quickly as I could. "You know what those fillies are like."
Big Macintosh nodded. Since Applebloom is his sister, he knows how the Crusaders can get better than anyone.
"Are ya all right?" he asked as I took the rope off and tossed it aside with a groan.
"Yeah," I replied, "I'm fine. Thanks."
"Well, all right then." Big Macintosh said. "Now come on, Applejack is wondering where y'all disappeared to."
"Yeah, I'm sure she is." I said. "Just went for a walk, is all."
We both began walking towards the farm.
"Do ya still got those seeds Ah gave ya?" Big Macintosh asked.
I flattened my ears and looked at the ground.
"Er, yeah," I said, "about that..."
Big Macintosh sighed.
"Dangit all," he groaned, "now we need ta find new ones."
I chuckled weakly and looked away as two thoughts entered my mind. The first was the fact that maybe it would be better, for me at least, if nopony knew the whole story ... while the second was what I would do to Angel once I got my hooves on him.