"Come on Pinkie, one more Hoof Stomp! Just one! I think you have enough HP for that!!" I shouted uselessly at my computer monitor.
I was playing a Pokemon parody game call 'Ponymon', a game where you train ponies instead of pokemon. My main ponymon, Pinkie, was nearly out of HP, but so was the wild Bon Bon I was fighting. Finally, with one last attack, I defeated her.
"WILD BON BON FAINTED! PINKIE GAINED 102 XP!" The dialogue box flashed. I fist pumped triumphantly and did a dance that would make Pinkie Pie impressed. Okay not really. I just wiggled and danced in my chair, making me look like a complete dork.
"Hey Austin! Can you get Pinkie to take you to Equestria? I need to ask you something rather important." I heard Twilight say from my ECB (Equestrian Communicaiton Braclet).
"Sure thing!" I replied. I pressed the button and spoke into the 3 balloons.
"Hey Pinkie, I need an evac to 'Books And Branches' STAT!"
"10-4 Austin! I'm on my way!"
We sometimes pretended we were military officers when using the braclet. It was kinda fun. Pinkie appeared in a bright flash of light, and I caught a ride back to Equestria, and, more specifically, Twilight's library. Twilight smiled when we appeared, and approached us with some rope. A lot of rope.
"What's with the rope?" I asked.
Twilight pounced Pinkie and before anyone of us could react, Pinkie was bound and gagged by Twilight.
"WHOA TWILIGHT! WHAT THE HAY?!"
"Pinkie has a dental appointment she's been missing for the past little while. Or rather, avoiding."
Pinkie mumbled in protest as she squirmed and twisted, trying to escape the rope.
"That also raises the question I wanted to ask you." Twilight said, turning to me. "When was YOUR last dental appointment?"
"I've never been to one." I said, rubbing the back of my head awkwardly.
"I thought as much. Your teeth are attrocious." Twilight giggled. "So I took the liberty of booking you one on the same day as Pinkie's. Which happens to be today."
"That's great, I-......I'm sorry what?!"
"Your dentist appointment. It's today."
"My...dentist...Ummm OH! Hey! I just...I just remembered...I...I left my laundry in the machine!! Yeah! I'll uh...I'll be right back. I need to go.....fold....laundry..."
I could tell Twilight wasn't buying it from the look on her face.
"Austin...."
"My house is on fire."
"You're going to that dentist appointment. Today."
"I have a turkey in the oven at home!"
"Whether I have to force you or not."
"I forgot to feed my pet!!"
Twilight's magic slowly levitated another long length of rope. I swallowed.
"Hey what's that over there? A distraction?!"
Twilight looked over her shoulder where I pointed, then turned back once she caught on. I was gone. She stomped her hoof in frustration.
Meanwhile, I was on my way out of town.
"Sorry Pinkie, you're on your own this time! I- OOF!"
I bumped into Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash, all standing in my way.
"Oh. Hey girls."
" Austin...we know about you and Pinkie."
"Oh..."
"Now just come along, okay? No one's going to hurt you Darling...We just need to....NOW RAINBOW!!"
Before I could protest, I was tackled by Rainbow Dash, tied up by Applejack, then put asleep by Rarity with her magic.
----------------
I woke up in a daze, still seeing stars from the tackle, but when I finally came to, I realised I was sitting in the Ponyville Dental Clinic. Twilight sat beside me, smiling.
"Hello Austin. Colgate will be seeing you right after she's through with Pinkie."
I went to stand up, but saw that I was handcuffed to the chair by my wrists.
"Twilight, can't we do this some other time? I mean, I'm not to good under pressure. You know that!"
"Sorry Austin, but you need to see a dentist SOMETIME."
"Yeah well why does it have to be THIS TIME?"
"Colgate couldn't book you at a later date."
I'd facepalm if I wasn't cuffed to the chair. Finally, a door opened beside us. Pinkie stepped out, looking traumatized and scared. She licked her teeth and shivered.
"S-so cleeeeaannnnn...All I can taste is toothpaste..."
I shuddered a little. I heard a mare call from the door.
"Next patient....Austin?"
Twilight waved her hoof.
"Over here! Come on Austin..." She uncuffed me and escorted me into the next room. I shuffled along like a prisoner in shackles. She sat me in the chair and smiled warmly, but I felt a twinge of satisfaction in that smile of hers.
"She'll be right with you." She turned and left the room, closing the door behind her. I saw magic cover the knob and it clicked. I was locked in...
A pastel blue pony came out wearing a mask and hairnet. Her tail was striped like that of toothpaste, and her cutie mark was an hourglass...an HOURGLASS.....I'm supposed to trust my dental health to somepony with a special talent in telling time?!
"Hi Austin! Twilight told me about you! I've only done dental work on 1 human before, so please, bear with me."
That made me feel 1000 times better...
"Just open your mouth so I can get a look at your teeth!"
My first reaction was shaking my head and keeping my mouth closed.
"Come on...Don't make me use the pliers!" She held up a pair of pliers and giggled.
I immediately opened my mouth before she tried to pry my mouth open.
"Ooh...Boy...Your teeth are really crooked...You never got braces?"
I shook my head, keeping my mouth open wide.
"Hmm...She looked in my mouth, occasionally poking around with her tools gently, until she stepped back.
"Well the good news is you have no cavities as of yet!"
"What's the bad news?"
"The bad news is, I'm going to need to pull a few teeth...."
"How many?"
"2. But I'll use my nitrous oxide to help you out!"
"Wait, nitrous oxide?"
She pulled up a large metal canister, with the symbol "N2O" painted on it. She strapped a mask onto my mouth and nose.
"Just breathe deeply." She said as she gave the valve a deft twist, and I heard the gas hissing through the hose.
I initially wanted to tear the mask off, not trusting something called 'nitrous oxide', but I saw that Twilight had somehow handcuffed me to the dentist chair without me realising, until now. The gas pumped into my mask and I was forced to breathe mouthful after mouthful of the chemical, until finally, I passed out.
----------------------
I woke up about an hour later. I tasted something. It tasted like...mint. Mint and....more mint. I was still in the chair, but I was no longer cuffed to it. The pony smiled at me and handed me a new toothbrush and a case of floss.
"Here you go! Your check up is done, and the teeth are pulled."
"That's great, but next time, no nitrous oxide."
"Why? Nitrous oxide is the chemical you know as Laughing Gas. You passed out from sheer fear and paranoia. You were laughing the whole time you were asleep, though."
I blushed a bit. How'd I forget?! I sighed and took the toothbrush and floss, then made my way toward the door.
"Don't forget! Brush and floss twice a day! And stop drinking so much soda! It's ruining your enamel."
Twilight smiled at me.
"So, how'd it go?"
"Better than I expected."
"That's good! Because your next appointment is 6 months from now!"
"......Oh for the love of Celestia..."