Letting your first memory in Equestria fade back into the recesses of your mind, you make your way back to your porch and sit down on a old hand or for a better term hoof made chair and begin to sort through your mail.
"Now lets see what we have."
you say to yourself as you flip through the mostly junk mail. As you begin to flip through it a piece of cardstock catches your eyes. The embossed black and gold lettering reading. 'Grand opening of the skull viper bar! All welcome.' under the all welcome more lettering catches your eye this time smaller and not embossed. 'This is a establishment that serves both carnivores and herbivores. Every creature must be of age to drink and show a form of valid identification'
Above the grand opening lettering a picture of a griffon skull with a viper lait hanging out of the left eye socket and a vipers head mid-strike coming out of the griffons mouth with a scarf of red roses around were the griffons neck would be.
"A place that serves both herbivores and carnivores in ponyville? Huh, might file that under places to try when im craving a steak. Now lets find out what this scroll is all about."
Turning it over to reveal a royal wax seal of of Twilights cutie mark on it, your break the seal and unravel the scroll to see the beautiful calligraphy of Twilights writing's. Taking a second to wish that you could write that well only to remember that your horrendous hand writing was the only reason you were never the guy to fill out the 4513 form for your cannons crew. With that being said you start to read Twilight's letter.
Dear Mr R,
As our nations only KNOWN example of the homo sapiens I can understand why you would choose a somewhat isolated living situation. I know your first few interactions with the locals of ponyville were rather... lets say awkward. I can assure you that what happened last time will not happen again as the general attitude of the Eqestrian natives have changed due to (in my most humblest of brags) to me and my friends accomplishments in improving foreign relationship's and alliance's.
As im sure you are well aware of the school of friendship has played a enormous amount in improving relations with our closest allies. We have students coming from the new Changeling hive in the badlands, From the mountains of Yakyakistan, To the high cliffs of the Gryphon kingdom to the cliffs of the Hippogryph/seaqestria border. We even convinced dragon lord Ember to send some students our way. We even have requests coming in from overseas not just from the mainland. At the rate the school is growing and collecting "unique" students and faculty we'll have a student from every town and every country. Im up to my withers in requests to not only attend the school but teach at it too!
Which brings me to why im sending you this letter we could have a student from every country or civilization on Equis attend the school, but it would not be complete for you would be the final piece to complete the collection. I do apologize if this is sounding like a menagerie of a mad mare but it would be a crime to let the knowledge of your kind die with you. the knowledge of what you posses could not only help Equestria but our world as a whole. That is why I write to you with a offer to teach at the school of friendship. You will be paid obviously and the curriculum would be yours to manage as you see fit. My only request is that I may observe on occasion your lessons every now and again. The new school year start on the first of next month, I would like a response as soon as possible but I do understand if you need time to think it over the deadline for the job is one week before the school year starts.
Yours truly, Twilight Sparkle
princes of friendship and headmare at Twilights school of friendship
"Shes right, it dose sound like shes trying to recruit me for some kind of rich assholes menagerie."
you say to yourself with a exasperated chuckle. Gathering the mail from your lap and heading inside you maul the idea over in your head.
"She did say I would get paid and extra cash couldn't hurt and it would be more reliable than selling the extra vegetables from the garden and homemade mead... probably pay more than that too with less work, and I hate those damn bees. but i would have to take care of each species equivalent of a moody teenager and I hate kids more than I hate bees or ducks for that matter."
A scratch at the door interrupts your thoughts as Herb your adolescent timber wolf companion lets out a whine wanting to be let out. Making your way back to the door and opening it for him he runs out as you call out to him.
"Good hunting"
Herb turning back to you and giving you what you've come to know as their species version of a bark to you and runs off to the tree line of the Everfree.
"Now back to contemplating this job offer... well if im in charge of the curriculum I could literally teach them about anything I want and how would they know if its true or not... do you know what would be good right now? a steak!"
The thought tears through your thinking like a runaway train.
"Yeah that would be good actually and dad always said never make a decision on a empty stomach. To bad I cant get a steak within 50 klicks of here. . . . . hold on a second"
looking back through the mail that you were still holding you find the pamphlet for the skull viper bar. The opening date is for today. Maybe you should check your mail more than once a week.
"Huh guess its my lucky day and its only an hour walk 45 minutes if I range walk. well lets shit, shower and shave real quick and head out."
You say to yourself, the thought of you getting a good steak and some some beer putting you in a good mood.
Taking roughly 10 minutes to get ready you put on your jeans, a simple grey shirt, your lucky hat on your short haired head. The old black hat with fading lettering that you can still make out if you squint 'Indian Motorcycles' and your shit kickers heavy duty black leather boots, your belt with a knife on your right side and a small leather pouch on your left containing your bits for the night. As you finish scooping a handful of bits into your money pouch a scratch at the door steals your attention.
"Sounds like Herb is back. Hold on boy let me get to the door"
saying the last part loud enough for Herb to hear you on the other side of the door. You tie off the pouch to your belt and flip the pouch into you left pocket as you make way for the door. As soon as crack the door Herb opens it all the way with his wooden snout pushing the door out of the way and you along with it, making a B line to his bowl of water in the kitchen.
"Damn boy cant wait for me to open the door all the way?"
As you make your way into the kitchen you look down and see droplets of blood leading you to your kitchen. Following the blood trail you see Herb face deep in his bowl of water lapping vigorously.
"That was fast, you're getting better at hunting... im guessing you get a wild hare this time? judging by the fur still on your head."
Herb stops drinking to look up at you for a second. as you make eye contact with him you see the leaves covering his body begin to perk up slightly and look a little more lively than when he left.
"Now listen boy, im going into town for a few beers and a steak. Now I want you to look after this place while im gone."
Herb lets out a growl that seemed like he was annoyed that he has to be good while your gone.
"I know I know, you don't like being alone and you don't like having to pull guard dog duty. But if your good ill bring you back a bone or two how's that sound buddy?"
Herbs small bush of a tail begins to wag slightly at the mention of a bone for him. He makes his way to you jumping and trying to put both his paws on your torso in his odd way to show excitement.
"Alright buddy, good luck ill be back sometime late tonight, be good."
Turning out of the kitchen you make for the door, exiting your docile you begin to range walk on the familiar path to town, you head begins to work as you calculate how much daylight you have left. Holding your hand out Infront of you, you place it at the bottom of the sun and begin to calculate
"Lets see, if I remember correctly one finger should equal about fifteen minutes and four fingers equals an hour. . . at the angle the sun is at now I should have about and hour and fifteen minutes before nightfall. That's good I don't to go through the shady side of Ponyville at night if I can help it. Well lets not waste anymore time."