//------------------------------// // Gelderlanden // Story: Arranged Disaster // by Peroth E //------------------------------// "Good morning Prince and Princess Blueblood! It is such an honor for you to join us. I can't begin to tell you how pleased we are that you accepted our offer." The elderly mare gushed in front of the newly wed couple, almost bouncing on her hooves as she guided them around the bustling skydock. The head of the Canterlot Royal Traditions Society was all pluck, reminding Twilight of an aged up version of Pinkie Pie, except more brown than pink. "Yes, it's quite-" Twilight stifled a yawn, her new husband failing in that regard, "- quite an honor. Thank you for the offer." "Oh it's no trouble! No trouble at all!" The mare led them both to a gorgeous carriage with the Society's full name emblazoned on the sides and the back. She opened the door and beamed behind her half-moon spectacles as Twilight and Blueblood walked inside and slumped on the seats. "I'll be with you in just a moment! I have a few more things to prepare!" She tittered and closed the door, leaving the couple alone. Blueblood glared at the wall for several seconds, then slowly closed his eyes. Twilight couldn't blame him. She was about to do the same when there was a loud thump on the top of the carriage, waking Blueblood up with a start. "... Ugh." He groaned loudly. "Whatever daft fool invented this 'six in the morning' needs to be strung up in the dungeons by their horn." "You'll have to take that one up with Princess Celestia." Twilight murmured, curling up in her seat and closing her eyes. "No no, Twilight?" Twilight opened her eyes blearily, and glanced up to Blueblood. He used his hooves to help her sit back up. "Dignify yourself. Royals don't just curl up anywhere for a nap. If you must rest, at least do it against me, others will find it 'cute'." He wiggled a hoof in the air as he said the last word. Were it even two hours later, Twilight would have been willing to argue the point with him, but right now Twilight was in no mood to confront him on it. He offered her a broad, white shoulder, and Twilight rest her head against it gratefully. She had to hide her embarrassment as she did. She had never slept against somepony else, not even her own best friends, so it felt so strangely intimate with a colt she barely knew and had been instructed to despise. She heard the door to the carriage open. "Alright, preparations are finished and-" Twilight cracked open an eye when she heard their guide pause. The old mare was beaming at the two with a heartwarmed smile. "Oh don't wake up on my account, I'll be nice and quiet." She climbed into the carriage and slid into the seat opposite of them. Blueblood gently wiggled his shoulder, and Twilight nodded her head as she roused herself. "With respect to my wife's sleeping habits, I think you should fill us both in on what to expect." Blueblood lifted a hoof and wrapped it around Twilight's neck. Twilight blinked and glanced to Blueblood. He wasn't looking at her, but she understood. Even if it felt so underhoofed to pretend, she leaned back against him and focused her eyes on the mare sitting opposite of them. The carriage rocked, and a weightlessness surrounded them. They were on their way. "Of course, of course my good prince! Let's not keep you waiting." The mare opened up a bag resting on her side and pulled out a nice, large stack of papers. "Ahem, my name is Noble Guard, head of the Canterlot Royal Traditions Society. I have been scouting for potential young candidates to fulfill this position, and was pleasantly surprised to find two of our brightest getting married." "Of course. How coincidental." Blueblood nodded his head slowly. Twilight pursed her lips, but kept quiet. Noble continued to smile as she eyed the pages, not noticing the bite of sarcasm in Blueblood's voice. "Gelderlanden has been in the works for around ten years now, but only recently have we pushed the project forward to fruition. It all started when our explorers happened across 'The Border' as it's being called, a point where Equestria meets a strange land where magic is as wild and crazy as the dangerous beasts within. Princess Celestia herself came to inspect it, and deemed it too dangerous to leave alone, so she created the magical barrier keeping our lands separate." "And then you decided it would be a great place to put up a city." Blueblood whispered, leaving only Twilight to hear it. Maybe it was because of how early it was, but Twilight let out a snicker. "The decision didn't come to us until around three years ago, when somepony proposed that, rather than an expedition camp, an entire city dedicated to its exploration should be set up. A self-sustaining city that would be full of explorers and warriors to regularly set hoof beyond The Border, that would be ruled and led by two powerful lords. In this manner, we would have a quick, easy way to expand beyond The Border when a way to tame its wild magic is found." "So what's beyond 'The Border' that is so valuable for us to dedicate an entire kingdom right next to it?" Twilight spoke up. Noble beamed as she pulled out several specific pages and let Twilight and Blueblood see them. "What few things our explorers have turned up have tickled the interest of not only our explorer's league, but have gotten the attention of various farmers' guilds, jewelers, processing plants, and manufacturers." The first piece of paper had a picture of some dirt, with various descriptions of its quality that Twilight didn't understand. "The soil there is some of the most fertile soil we have ever seen, giving bloom to things like this!" The next page flipped over, and Twilight and Blueblood both shared a shocked look. "Is that an orange tree!?" Blueblood asked incredulously. Judging by the tiny, pony-shaped dot standing next to the trunk, in a forest of similar trunks, the trees must have been as tall and thick as most redwoods, while an orange nearly as big as the pony sat on the pony's other side. "Precisely! That's not the only thing they'd found of course, a brand of raw metal that our explorers found laying everywhere in caves across the region was dug up. They had to use diamonds to even chip it, and the experimental devices they created from it were sharp enough to slice through modern Cantorium!" The two royal unicorns across from her flipped through the pages and found a picture of a pony wielding a small knife made of an almost black metal, carving up a sheet of Cantorium like wet tissue paper. "This is ridiculous! Why haven't we heard about this before!?" Blueblood asked, floating a paper to Twilight to read. It mentioned the cost of the metal in its raw form, and Twilight felt her head spin a little. They both looked up when Noble gave a nervous laugh. "Well... you see, I wasn't lying when I said the land beyond The Border was dangerous..." Several more papers floated over to them, but they had no information, only pictures. Ponies getting cut out of thorny vines that reached for more prey, trying to drag the ponies into a fleshy maw in the middle. Bees bigger than the ponies themselves, with razor-sharp talons and pincers for mouths being barely held off by a poorly-held barrier spell. One picture was a pony hiding behind a rock, clearly terrified as a pack of wolves with four-sectioned mouths and dozens of tentacle-like tongues walked nearly. And the last picture... "Agh! Oh, what is that!?" Blueblood turned his head away to not stare, but Twilight only leaned in closer. "Is that a leg or is that a tongue?" Twilight asked with ever increasing horror as the picture dawned on her. "Actually, according to one of the biologists on the trip, that's its penis." Noble winced, and Twilight turned a little blue. "What is it doing waving it around like that!?" "See that weird, furry thing attached to its side?" Noble turned the picture so they could both look. "You mean that?" "Yes. It's believed that is the female of the species, attempting to drain the male of its internal organs, and the male is making a desperate attempt at mating for the future of its species. See, if you look in this next picture, he's managed to puncture the female's hide and deposit what looks like several gallons of-" Twilight interrupted her with a small, terrified scream, and tossed the picture away, trembling in terror while Blueblood's stomach made some uncomfortable gurgling noises. "And that's not even getting to the diseases contracted on the trip, the parasites our explorers picked up, and not to mention the, well... the magic of the place." Noble winced as the two ponies stared at her with uncomprehending horror. "It seems as if the place has its own version of magic. We're not sure if it can cast it at will, or if it's random, but unicorns are almost ineffective there since trying to cast a simple levitation spell can backfire and leave the unicorn firmly grounded, unable to walk, or even send all of their supplies flying off into the sky. Never mind the horrors a teleportation spell can entail." Noble levitated a picture over to the two of them, and though Twilight was scared to look, she forced herself. "This is an example of the randomness of the magic there. The male in the picture you see fighting the Gigantosaur was reportedly eating a simple dinner roll when suddenly... that happened." The two stared at the picture of the eighty-foot tall pony wrestling a massive reptile to the ground. The picture had been taken on the edge of a cliff, while the pony fought in the vast jungle below. "Then, forty minutes later, this happened." A picture of the same pony, this time sitting on top of another pony's head, posing for a picture while pretending to wrestle a pony's ear. "When he was brought back through The Border the unicorn doctors managed to get him back to normal, but he was one of the lucky cases. There have been reports of ponies turning into water, gathered up, restored to normal, but missing bits and pieces, or ponies finding their tongues turning into fire... it's a lot of strange, ugly stuff, but beyond it is wealth and materials that can only be dreamed of." Twilight and Blueblood both nodded bleakly as Noble put the pictures away. "And you expect us to be right there next to it?" Blueblood asked in angered sarcasm. "Well, yes, but The Border wall can only let ponies in and out. The beasts and magic beyond it can't get into Equestria without a pony's help." Noble nodded with a serious expression. "You would be perfectly safe in your castle right next to the wall, the explorers beyond it would be the ones in danger. That said, we have professionals who have been planning how to handle it for years, and many precautions will be taken, and only experts would be allowed through." "I suppose." Twilight agreed, and glanced to Blueblood. He was working his jaw intently, and glanced out the window at the land below. "We'll see when we get there. For now, enough of this... Border talk." He groaned, rubbing his forehead. Twilight silently agreed. ---------- Twilight had not told anypony about Gelderlanden. Partly out of shock, partly out of disbelief. She assumed it was a prank, or they really had just inherited some tiny shack out in the wilderness that once served as an expedition checkpoint with a fancy name. She had settled in to the after-wedding party last night with great unease. The uncertainty of the future made her stomach quiver, and it was with great force that she smiled and laughed all last night with her equally uneasy friends. 'What's going to happen now?' Was the question of the evening. Twilight couldn't be with them all the time to discuss it since she was expected to, of course, be with her new husband, but Twilight had no honest answer. Were they expected to stay together, or could they be apart? Would she have to move away, to Canterlot, away from her friends? What would she be expected of? Would she have to go mingle at big fancy parties? Would she gain any duties as a newly minted Blueblood? Now that Gelderlanden was going to be a part of the picture, the future just got more unpleasant. She was going to be in a castle by the border of a land full of danger, even further from her friends than before, doing who knew what surrounded by ponies she didn't know and that, by the sounds of it, would disappear daily beyond The Border, and possibly not return... She shivered at the thought of the future. To her surprise, the white leg around her body squeezed comfortingly. She didn't look up to see his face, she just let out a soft sigh. This morning had been even stranger. The Blueblood Mansion was vast and inviting but so terribly empty. Her whole family had been invited to stay, and once the doors were shut and the windows were blinded, the camaraderie dropped almost instantly. Duke and Duchess Blueblood shared small talk with her own family, while Prince Blueblood had invited her upstairs. They did not speak much. They shared a single glass of wine, toasting to their loveless marriage, and then showed her to her room. Despite the warm, comfortable bed, Twilight got no sleep. Even worse was waking up so early to go see their new kingdom. She and Blueblood did not speak over breakfast, nor on the way to the sky docks, but she figured that may have been out of tiredness. Now? Now he was the only thing keeping her from feeling utterly alone up here. She hoped this wouldn't be a constant thing... "Ah, we're here!" Noble Guard announced excitedly, and Twilight sat up straight as Blueblood turned to take a look. Twilight stared out the window with them at Gelderlanden. The blue, morning sky was disrupted by a massive, semi-transparent wall of gold that created a dome the size of a quarter of Equestria itself. It was so tall that Twilight could barely see over it through the window, and too thick to see beyond. There, only half a mile away from the foot of the great magical wall Celestia had erected, was the city. It was by no means huge. In fact, it was smaller than all of Ponyville, but it was still a city with a nice-sized, comfortable looking castle, surrounded by dozens and dozens of stone buildings, which in turn were surrounded by a massive stone wall. All around the city were rolling acres of flat grassland, just begging to be tilled and toiled upon by experienced hooves, and the blue skies were gathering plenty of clouds that would need to be stamped out. It was a place of beauty, the sort of thing Twilight recalled from a story book. "Prince Blueblood, Princess Twilight, may I introduce you to your new kingdom: Gelderlanden, the first hoof into The Border." Noble smiled proudly as the carriage began to lower. ---------- Without any sky docks, the carriage was forced to land at the south-eastern gate of the city, where a big set of wooden doors stood to keep the wildlife out. A pair of double-doors built into the giant ones were open though, letting ponies wander in and out with carts. All of them workers, all of them carrying supplies. "Gelderlanden has already attracted quite a few interested investors, including builders, explorers, and ponies suited to more modest jobs." Noble started as she walked towards the gates, Twilight and Blueblood just behind her. "We aren't completely filled out yet though, the city can hold some four-hundred ponies during peaceful times, but far less than half have joined up. We have plenty of explorers and artisans, but no restaurants, no weather ponies, very few farmers, and one or two-clothes makers, on top of everything else we need, but help wanted posters have been set up all over Equestria to get the best of the best." Gelderlanden, from the ground, was actually quite cozy. As they walked through the smaller doors, worker ponies standing aside and offering bows to the entering royalty, Twilight's eyes travelled everywhere. Trees and grass sprung up where there weren't buildings and paved streets, the tall walls provided a sheltered sense of security, the small, efficient houses gave a modest sense of homeliness, and Twilight could only imagine how pleasant it'd be once it was full of ponies working, walking, and socializing. "It's very nice." Twilight said with an honest smile. "It's a little uncivilized." Blueblood frowned as he looked around, then tapped his hoof against the stone path. "These stones aren't even evenly cut, only paved." "They aren't so bad." Twilight spoke up, taking a few steps forward to feel the stonework beneath her hooves. "At least they have stone here. Back in Ponyville, there weren't any hard-ground paths like these." She glanced over to Blueblood, meeting his stunned look. "None?" He asked. Twilight shook her head. "None at all?" "Nope." Twilight nodded. "Then..." Blueblood held a hoof up to his chin, a puzzled look on his face. Twilight cocked her head at him. "What... what did everypony walk on?" He finished with a totally lost look. "..." Twilight blinked her big eyes at him. "The dirt?" Her husband cringed away from the word, and he set his hoof back down thankfully on the stone road. "How does a pony walk on the dirt without getting their hooves dirty?" He asked in a completely honest tone. Twilight's ears lowered slowly. He was serious. "Well, you don't. When you get to the place you want to be, you just wipe your hooves off on the welcome mat like this." She started scraping her hooves against the stone, but Blueblood rushed over and stopped her with a yelp. "Don't do that! You'll chip and scrape your hooves!" He whispered urgently, lifting one of her hooves to inspect it closely. Twilight gave him an odd look. "Why does it matter? They're just hooves. I won't get hurt, and they'll grow back." She shrugged, and he gave her a disbelieving look. "Sweet Celestia, Twilight, clean hooves are the difference between dirty, low-class farm folk and the rich, clean high-class entrepreneur!" He shook his head at her, as if he was speaking to a child. Was he really being this difficult about hooves? "One of my best friends is a farmer and an entrepreneur. Most of the time she's positively filthy with dirt and sweat but she's still a great pony." His frightened look told her all she needed to know. "Ugh, fine. Noble, can we get back to the tour?" She glanced to the old pony. "Of course, Princess Blueblood. Right this way." She started walking towards the castle, Twilight following behind her. She glanced behind herself and saw Blueblood staring into space, so she walked over and nudged him to get him following. Blueblood got over his hang-up by the time they reached the castle, and even tuned in to listen as Noble talked. "- took only forty unicorn architects and twelve pegasi to help in corrections. It has a full staff quarters around the base level, but the staircase right through the entrance takes you to your quarters. Laundry chutes, service bells, two master bedrooms, four guest bedrooms, and all the furniture to make it a comfortable home for you, your majesty." Noble was smiling as Twilight actually listened to the details that went into it, and eyed the sturdy wall of the castle. Twilight blushed at the reverent title, and suppressed the urge to correct the mare. She technically was a 'majesty' now, as odd as that felt to know. "It sounds really nice, I can't wait to take a closer look at everything." "Well you'll have your chance right about now." Noble grinned as they came to a big pair of double-doors in the castle. It wasn't as big as the doors to the city wall, but even without proper decorations or inscriptions or even handles it was showy. At least Twilight thought so. "Twilight." Blueblood glanced down to his wife as they approached the doors. Noble knocked, and the doors opened. "What would you say to a statue in the road in front of the door?" He asked, looking up in thought. "A statue of what?" Twilight cocked her ear towards Blueblood, because she dared not look away. The entrance hall of her castle was long, linoleum, and white, with several columns built along the red carpetting leading to the staircase that split into a T when it came to the far wall. "Hm, us, perhaps?" Blueblood looked around the entrance hall curiously. There were several doors on each side, and two underneath the staircases. Servant's quarters, guard stations, kitchens, laundry rooms, the works. Twilight hummed at the thought. It sounded ridiculous. In fact, in practice it was ridiculous, it was a waste of money, valuable resources, and was hardly art. Unless they shelled out enough for paintings, embroideries, and that sort of thing, but money didn't grow on stalks. "Seems a little unnecessary." "You think so?" Blueblood raised an eyebrow. "But it would be an homage to us and our rule." He smiled triumphantly, but Twilight passed by without so much as a look. His triumph slipped into annoyance. "We aren't even ruling yet!" Twilight pointed out as Noble lead her up the stairs. She glanced back at Blueblood with an apologetic smile. "Let's at least see if we can even budget it before we think about artwork." "Budget it?" Blueblood trotted after her with a raised eyebrow. "Have you forgotten who I am? Who we are?" He came up beside her, and gave her rear a whack with his tail. "We are Bluebloods. Everything is in our budget." He took a few steps and heard Twilight start to speak. He stopped her with a glance. "Everything." "Um, Blueblood?" Twilight leapt up the stairs to catch up, and he and Noble stopped before going up the left section. "I understand your- our family is rich, but there has to be a limit to what we can spend. Your father-" "Spent twenty-eight million bits on a wedding he rushed until it was an incomprehensible mess, stomping tradition, practicality, and efficiency flat just to assure us control of this kingdom. He spent a mere fraction of our worth to shack us up so we can be here to rule, and if what we're told is true, the ore, fertilizer, and information we'll be digging up from beyond this 'Border' will more than cover for it." Blueblood stuck his nose in the air and started climbing once more. "If father gets angry that I'm feeling a little vain, then he can step out of his golden horse shoes and try and tell me none of yesterday was done for his image." Twilight opened her mouth to argue, then shut it. She and Blueblood had been crammed together without wanting it. She followed Blueblood to the top of the stairs and let Noble walk ahead of them to open the door and lead them through. "A statue of us?" "Correct. Drawn up, well-proportioned, finely dressed, the works. Give the ponies here an idea of who is in charge. Have it made from the white stone of the Canterlot mountain." The three of them stepped into a wide, rounded room, full of chairs, couches, coffee tables, lamps, and book cases. A nice little lounge room. "Blueblood, if we're going to buy a statue we might as well go all out." Twilight stated in a matter-of-fact voice that grabbed Blueblood interest immediately. "Oh? Do tell." "I want my statue to be done with gold. Golden mane, silver stripe, darker compound for the darker stripe. And I want my irises to be done up with purple gemstones harvested from the dark reaches of Equestria's jungle and I want each strand of my coat crafted and visible upon close inspection." Twilight stated with a serious nod, but almost immediately broke into giggles. Noble opened her mouth to tell them how impossible that last choice was, but Blueblood spoke up first. "The statue shall feature us, standing on a chariot of flame-brought-to-life taken from an ancient dracolich from the far west, being pulled by the Princesses across the sky!" He stated with a demanding stomp of his hoof. Noble's mouth hung open. Twilight snorted, and covered her mouth. "Might be too far." She giggled into her hoof. "I suppose. Anyhow, a tour. Lounge room?" Blueblood glanced around curiously, and Noble nodded slowly, mouth shut. "Quite. I mean yes. This is the guests' lounge room for smaller parties and get togethers..." ---------- Two bedrooms, four guest bedrooms later, Noble was leading them out the front door of the castle once more. It had been a boring tour, but Twilight did like what she saw. It was all so much, more than she was used to. Four poster beds, a magical fire place to alter heat, intensity, and coloration, many ridiculous, outrageous, and expensive fineries from the gold-tipped tassels on the silken window drapes to the dragon-headed arms of the reading chairs carved from the one-hundred foot tall fire-breathing oak trees of Valhalla. She still couldn't imagine herself sleeping in these rooms though, living in this town, being the wife of Prince Blueblood. She felt that, somehow, she'd just open her eyes and be underneath the wooden roof of her tree house again. Yet the stone beneath her hooves was most definitely real, Prince Blueblood was definitely by her side, and she had definitely signed her name last night. Oh Celestia, what would she tell her friends? What would she tell Celestia? Shining Armor was already mad as it was, she couldn't imagine how Rainbow Dash would react. She imagined, briefly, that she'd tell them what would happen and they'd drag her back to Ponyville and keep her safe and happy there. "And protection?" Twilight lifted her ears and glanced up from her hooves. They were in the entrance hall of the castle again. Blueblood was staring at Noble, who pulled some note out of her pack and looked them over. "According to these, you father made an arrangement to have Gelderlanden defended by a majority of the Blueblood House Guards about five months ago." She answered, letting Blueblood look. "... Of course he did. But only the Blueblood House Guard? Surely with the Border right by us there's more." He asked, and another paper got floated in front of him. "It has also been arranged for several of Celestia's Royal Guard to be stationed here as a military presence against whatever lies across the Border, but you, Prince Blueblood, will have three of them with you at almost all times. Your father has made the assumption that you will handle most of the business dealings and trading partners, and feels you'd benefit the most if you felt secure." Noble rolled her shoulders in a shrug. Blueblood touched his chin in thought, and glanced to Twilight. "All well and good, but I'm assuming you're not leaving my wife unguarded?" Twilight gave them both a very slow blink. Did she really needed to be guarded? Who would target her? "Oh, actually, Princess Celestia made a very special arrangement for her guard just last night." Noble smiled, and Prince Blueblood and Twilight both raised an eyebrow. "Everypony was quite surprised to hear about it. There is a small team from her personal military she feels has been sub-par lately, and mentioned they would benefit from some practice in a potentially hostile area." "Her personal military?" Blueblood repeated. "Who would Celestia send to keep an eye on me?" Twilight asked with a surprised look. "Prepare to be impressed." Noble fished through her pack for a moment, then pulled out a whistle. The three of them trot outside the castle, and Noble blew a note on the whistle, long, loud, and clear. Lots of ponies stopped in their tracks to stare at the elderly keeper of the Traditions Society. Twilight looked confused for a moment. She knew that sound... She'd heard it in Cloudsdale at the Young Flyers' Competition... "Noble." She called softly, making the mare look down. "Is that... is that a flight-training whistle?" Noble didn't have time to answer. From the top of the castle came three streaks of dark, spark-filled clouds. "Oh. My. She didn't." Blueblood whispered disbelievingly as the three streaks swooped down and landed with the utmost ease from near record-shattering speeds. The clouds and dust cleared with a single flap of their wings, and three pegasi wearing blue, skin-tight outfits with lightning bolts streaks and goggles stood before them. Blueblood and Twilight both simply stared, while other ponies began to gather around and whisper excitedly about the newcomers. The pegasus in the middle lifted her goggles, resting them against her forehead just beneath an orange, yellow, and red mane that reminded them both of a wildfire. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance." She said with a practiced tone, then she and the two other Wonderbolts bowed low. "Uh... huh?" Twilight muttered, cheeks reddening. In the span of two days she gained her mentor's permissions to see her whenever she pleased, several compliments from one of the wealthiest ponies in Canterlot, married to the son of the same wealthy pony, and now three super-star living legends were bowing to her. Productive. Productive but terrifyingly embarrassing. The three pegasi stood, and the mare in the middle approached. stiff, holding herself tall and proud. "We've been assigned by Princess Celestia to watch over you, my name is-" "Spitfire!" Twilight blurted out, surprising the mare. "Omigosh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt but you're the captain of the Wonderbolts!" Twilight beamed as she extended a hoof. Blueblood and Noble stared in horror at the gesture, but Spitfire seemed more than happy to take it. "Wow. Well, yeah! That's me, Spitfire, captain of the Wonderbolts. At your service ma'am." She bowed her head, and seemed to sag as the tension flowed out of her. "Oh! You don't have to bow to me, I really don't like it." Twilight didn't really follow aero-sports but everything she heard from Rainbow Dash... she couldn't not be impressed! "No, you're the Wonderbolts! I can't- I'd forgotten that you were part of Celestia's military! This is amazing! She assigned you to me?" "Yup." A more laid-back voice answered. A blue-haired colt walked forward and lifted his goggles, just like his partner did. He had relaxed remarkably since Twilight began to gush. "I'm Soarin, it's nice to meet you Princess Twilight." Twilight once again stuck out a hoof and Soarin accepted the shake. "It's so great to meet you too! One of my best friends is a giant fan of you all, and now- now I get to meet you and- and wow! This is just-" "Say no more, ma'am! We read you loud and clear!" The last mare spoke up, also getting a hoofshake. She had a blue coat and a white mane. "My name is Fleetfoot, quickest wing in the Wonderbolts." Twilight glanced between the three for a few uncomprehending moments. They were supposed to guard her. These were her guards. That was incredible! It only could have been better if her own older brother could do the job. "This really is amazing to meet all of you. I know so much about you all. I have this friend... well I already told you, but it's incredible." "We're happy to be of service, ma'am." Spitfire smiled, but slightly narrowed her eyes as she looked Twilight over. Something seemed... oddly familiar. "Princess Celestia was very insistant we come guard you, and was happy that we agreed to it. Not that we could say no but she seemed very pleased." "Oh! Well, you probably know this but I'm Twilight Sparkle. Princess Celestia was my personal mentor in magic." Twilight told the three of them with a slight blush. Fleetfoot looked impressed. "Aww man, really? Then you must know some crazy magic!" She began to bounce in place, making Soarin and Spitfire roll their eyes. "Ooh! Ooh! Could you show us something!? Something flashy!" "Fleetfoot, we're here to guard her, not for a show." Spitfire reminded her, her tone switching to a displeased mother very quickly. Fleetfoot began to slow down. "Oh, right. Okay." The younger mare deflated. "It's really no big deal." Twilight spoke up, getting a surprised look from the three of them. "I'd love to show you some of my magic. Is there anything in particular you'd like to see?" "Ooh!" Fleetfoot was jumping again, grinning as she nodded. "Ooh! Yeah! You're Celestia's student? Can you drop the sun onto a dragon!?" Twilight's face flushed, and Spitfire began to nurse her forehead with a hoof. Soarin hid a snicker behind his hoof. "Err, no. I can't." Fleetfoot paused, and hummed thoughtfully. "Ooh!" Hopping again. "Fire a concentrated sunbeam through a magnifying glass and carve a picture of yourself in a hilltop!?" "I- I can't control the sun, I'm not that powerful..." "Oh." Fleetfoot stopped again. "Well what can you do?" She finally asked, making Spitfire panic. "Fleetfoot! You can't be so demanding with the royalty! Just leave her alone!" She snapped, but Twilight waved a hoof. "Sorry, I understand you're reprimanding her, but..." Twilight's horn began to glow. Spitfire's eyes widened, and she backed away from Fleetfoot, while the latter stood still and watched. "Uh, this won't hurt me, will it?" Fleetfoot asked nervously. "Only if you have a hair allergy." Twilight winked, and the spell flared up, making Fleetfoot's face flash. Spitfire and Soarin both stared at the youngest of their troop stood there, perfectly fine, with an impressively bushy black moustache on her snout. Her eyes turned downwards to stare at the moustache. She twitched her nose, and the facial hair wiggled and lifted as she flexed her snout. "This..." She spoke up, glancing to Twilight. "Is the best thing." "Tha-" "Ever." "Thanks." Twilight chuckled softly. Fleetfloot turned her head to face the surprised Soarin, and wiggled her new facial hair with almost mocking glee. "It's really not that impressive though, I just targetted the hair follicles along your snout and grew them at hyperspeed while dying the growing the hairs a darker more distinctive color and-" Spitfire put a hoof to Twilight's mouth. If any of them had looked, they would see the outrage on Blueblood's and Noble's face. "I know you!" The bright pegasus exclaimed, eyes suddenly shining with recognition. "You're that brainy little unicorn from Ponyville who was testing everypony's airspeed during Cloudsdale's last rainy season." Spitfire was all smiles for a few seconds, then she dropped her hoof to the ground and grew a wide-eyed look. "You're royalty!? What were you doing in Ponyville?" "Oh! Well." Twilight gave her an apologetic smile. "I wasn't royalty back then, my brother married Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, bringing me into the royal family and I- uh..." Twilight walked over and stood next to Blueblood. "I married yesterday into the Blueblood family. This is my husband, Prince Blueblood." Spitfire walked forward and extended a hoof to the prince. "Nice to meet you sir, my name is Spitfire." Blueblood stared down at the extended hoof as if it were offensive, and with an annoyed expression waved it off. "Prince Blueblood, soon to be king of this little province." His tone had a little bite in it that made Spitfire back down. "Twilight this is all well and good, but let's get moving. I want to go home.” Twilight deflated by his side, and gave Spitfire a sorry look. "Yes Blueblood." She answered autonomously. They started their walk back to the front gates, Soarin and Fleetfoot in the air, watching the ground and the sky, while Spitfire remained by Twilight's side with a neutral expression. Twilight huffed to herself. How could he act so cordial to her, yet dismiss something so simple as a hoofshake? He didn't have to make his title sound so condescending either. She hoped Spitfire didn't think she would be like that... "So..." Twilight looked up. Spitfire was leaning towards her slightly and whispering. "How did you two shack up?" She asked, eyes clearly on Blueblood as he argued a little with Noble. "Didn't have a choice." Twilight muttered. "It was arranged by our parents while they were drunk." Spitfire turned and stared right at her with a surprised look. Though she couldn't see past her goggles, Twilight could imagine the wide-eyes she'd been getting every time she told a pony the story. "... That's not fair!" "Tell me about it." Twilight looked up at the ring sitting at the base of her horn, then forward again. "So you had no choice but to marry this jerk? Aren't you the Princess's student? Can't she pull some strings? Call horse apples on it? Send him to the moon?" "To be fair, he didn't have a choice either." Twilight glanced up to the wall of Gelderlanden. Soarin and Fleetfoot sat at the top like a pair of gargoyles, watching for trouble. "And neither of us can say no, because if I do then my family goes into several millions of bits worth of debt, and his dad wouldn't let him. So here we are, in quite a pickle." "Oof, tell me about it." Spitfire sounded sympathetic, and it pleased Twilight to no end that the mare nudged her in a friendly manner. "So, back in Ponyville... you're friends with Rainbow Dash, right?" Twilight's ears perked up, and she nodded. "Yes, she's one of my best friends!... that I have to leave behind..." Twilight sighed loudly. Spitfire touched a hoof to her own chin. "Well." She hummed. "That sucks." "Like you wouldn't believe." Twilight nodded in agreement as the two approached the carriage. Spitfire walked ahead of her suddenly, passed Blueblood and Noble, and entered the carriage. Twilight stared after her in confusion, though Blueblood and Noble remained silent as Spitfire looked around, poked through the cushions, looked under the seats, and stepped out. "Carriage is clear. All set for travel." She saluted to Blueblood and Noble politely as they stepped in. "Excellent. Go ahead and take flight, and try not to bother us." Blueblood ordered. Spitfire remained silent, and stared straight at Twilight. "Did you not hear me? I said-" "I mean no offense sir, but my duties are to serve Princess Twilight Sparkle and Princess Twilight Sparkle alone. While I can assure you I will do my best to protect her husband, my orders come from Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight Sparkle." Spitfire recited in that same, practiced tone. Blueblood's eyebrow began to twitch, and he opened his mouth to say something, something probably not very nice, but Twilight whisked by and bumped into him to distract him. "I'm glad to hear it Spitfire, thank you, but go ahead and do as he says. We'll have plenty of time to chat when we land in Canterlot." Spitfire saluted smartly and took off while Twilight took a seat. 'sup bitches? Look what I got off my lazy ass to update! Can't promise chaptuh four any time soon, or anything anytime soon! Borderlands 2. Yeah. Anyhow, y'all go enjoy yourselves now, I need to go grab me some food! Mm-mm, good!