Pinkie Pie Tries Coca Cola

by Homage

The Title

Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! Well, my real name is Pinkamena Diane Pie, but my friends call me Pinkie! But you should know that! You're me, silly! Huh, I must sound really crazy, talking to myself like this. I'm nuttier than a peanut coated with almonds and rolled in cashews! Mmm... that sounds really good right now! I am pretty hungry. I know! I'll go downstairs and see what Mr. and Mrs. Cake made today! Maybe I can have a sample.

Ok, I'm in the kitchen. Mrs. Cake? Mr. Cake? Where are you? Hay! Maybe they're playing hide and seek! I love that game!! I'll count first... 20... 19... 18... WAIT!!! What's that on the counter?

Hmm... looks like a glass bottle of sarsaparilla! But I have never seen sarsaparilla like this before... The label is red and white. Hay! Red plus white equals pink! And my name is Pinkie! It's like this drink was made just for me! Hmm... the label says “Coca Cola”. And there's a note attached!!

This is definitely Mrs. Cake's hoofwriting! It's got all those cute little loops and squiggles! What does it say?

Dear Pinkie Pie,

My husband and I took the foals on a three-day vacation to Disneyland. We trust you to watch over Sugarcube Corner while we're gone. Please enjoy this gift as part of your payment for watching our home until we return next Friday night.

Sincerely,
Cup Cake

Awww... they're going to Disneyland? I want to go...

Wait, my tummy is making noises! That usually means I'm hungry! That's why I came down here, after all. I wonder what's in the fridge?

There are cupcakes in here! And is that, chocolate? CHOCOLATE!!! Omnomnomnom... chocolate... so good.... worth... diabetes...

That was delicious! Maybe I will wash down those delicious sweets with this new drink that Mrs. Cake left. Now where is that bottle opener?

Ah, here it is! Why would the Cakes keep it with the kitchen utensils and not with the bottles? It would make sense to put the bottle opener with the bottles! I mean, it even has “bottle” in the name! Bottle opener. And wouldn't it be much better to make bottles that could be opened without an opener? But then all the bottle openers would be lonely, because nopony would be using them to open bottles, and they would just sit in drawers, all alone, and nopony would open the drawers to open bottles, because they wouldn't need bottle openers to open bottles that open without bottle openers.

Ok, I'm opening the bottle. EEEK!!!! It hissed at me! Maybe the Coca Cola doesn't want to be opened? But then I wouldn't feel right about drinking it.

I'm being silly, aren't I? Drinks can't want anything! But I want to drink it! Maybe I should smell it first...

Ooh... I've never smelled something this smelly before! Not bad smelly, though! More like weird smelly! But weird in a good way! Hmm... it smells like... well... I don't even know! It makes my nose feel a little tickly... ACHOOO!

Coca Cola, huh? It sounds... so... good. The name just rolls off the tongue! Just like the word kumquat! Kumquat, kumquat, kumquat, KUMQUAT!! Wait! I forgot to drink it!

I'm grabbing the bottle in my hooves. It's fizzing a bit! It's as bubbly as I am! Yay, a happy soda! Ok, gonna take a sip...

This... stuff... is... AMAZING!!!!! IT'S THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER TASTED!!! Better than chocolate ice cream topped with chocolate fudge, chocolate chips, chocolate syrup, and chocolate pieces! But it doesn't taste like chocolate. It tastes more like... rainbows. No, not rainbows. Rainbows are spicy. It tastes like... the moment I got my cutie mark! I remember that day! It was the first time I felt truly happy! That sparkly rainbow in the sky that made me smile for the first time! Rocks were so boring! (gasp) Look at the cap! It says “Open happiness.” It's so true!! I have to drink more! Glug glug glug...

That was so good! It was sweet, and crisp, and refreshing, and delicious, and, and, and... THIS CALLS FOR A PARTY!!

I could party all night with this stuff! It makes me feel so energetic! More than usual, I mean! Like so energetic that all of my sentences end in exclamation points!!! Not just most of them! All of them!! YAY!! I feel like I could just explode!! And then explode again!! SQUEE!!!

All that bouncing gave me an idea!! I'll share this soda with my friends! Then they can be happy too! I want them all to smile! But I drank all of mine... Hay, wait! I bet I could get enough for all of us at the Ponyville Soda Stop!

Hey, Twilight, are you busy? Let's go have some fun! There's a new drink I want you to taste! No, it's nothing like that drink from last time... with those photos that Rainbow Dash posted on the Internet of you passed out, with permanent marker on your face!

Fluttershy, are you home? Oh, silly, you can be a tree later! So what if that's not what you said? I have something great to share with you!

Rainbow... Dash! Hay... what's... up! I... need... trampoline... reach... house... come... down... Ah, that's much better! I have a new beverage that you just have to taste! Yeah, I remember last time! Hay, you were the one who drew on her! I just took the pictures!

Applejack! Howdy! I just discovered a new drink! And I think it is better than cider! ...You want to taste? ...Just checking out the competition? Let's go!

Rarity! RARITY!!! There's something I need you to drink! It's so good! ...Your figure? Well, I figure you'd be missing out if you don't try this, silly!

Ok, all six of us are in front of the Soda Stop! Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy... wait, who was the sixth? Oh yeah... me!! Yay! Let's go inside! Huh? What was that Rarity? You want to know who I'm talking to? Me, of course! Let's go inside! There's something I have to share with you girls!

Ok, we are sitting in a booth by the window. Our waitress is coming! Hi, Mrs. Matilda! How's Cranky doing? Aw... I'm sorry to hear it! I don't know what "terminal" means, but I know he'll get better soon! Oh, our order? A Coca Cola for each of us! ...Is Pepsi ok? Hmm... I don't know. I've never tried it. But I ordered Coke, not Pepsi. Wait... you mean... you don't have Coke? YOU DON'T HAVE COCA COLA???!!! HOW COULD YOU NOT HAVE COCA COLA!! NO!!! I WON'T CALM DOWN!! THIS IS A DISASTER!!

Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I calmed down. The bad news is that I can't go back to the Ponyville Soda Stop anymore. I don't care! They don't have Coke! My friends and I went to the store and bought a six-pack, and we split it! It was delicious! I'm so happy! All my friends are happy too! Coca Cola is amazing, even though I still can't figure out what it tastes like. It's ok, I can live with the mystery. I don't think Twilight can, though. She is in her lab right now, trying to figure it out! But that's a whole other story...