Right, I'm back. Don't know what I did there, I don't even like shallots.
Anyway, once Bill had come out of his Geoff induced trip, we decided to head in the direction that both of our barely functioning minds had decided to call "The right way" and, lo and behold, we soon reached civilization. Well, the closest thing that the artstyle that dimension happened to be rendered in could call civilization. I mean, compared to basically any form of civilization in human history it looked just a bit shit to be honest. Anyway, we arrived there before realising that this was the same town that we'd, erm, spawned(?) in about 2 bits of the story ago and we felt a dark reprise of the bollock receding performance that had so terrified us previously ensuing, and from the looks of the place, every single multicoloured grand national reject sensed it too. They all crowded around us in what on reflection was probably curiosity but at the time registered as the sort of emotion that Hannibal Lecter felt when he got his liver and beans. it then transpired that our feeling about the whole dark reprise thing wasn't entirely off, by which I mean that it couldn't have been more on the mark if it was aimbotting. We got out of that town as fast as our legs would carry us and then a bit faster because we were speedhacking or something(I'm sensing a theme here), ran back into another forest, or maybe it was the same forest, who the fuck knows or cares? Punched another unicorn(I'm going to just call them unicorns now) Nicked another caravan, did some more Geoff, I went and got another shallot in the time it would've taken to tell all that, we went back into the town and this process was repeated about 17 times before we both realised that it'd be easier on just about every single part of our bodies if we just went somewhere else. So we did.
I don't know how far we walked to get to where we eventually got to, partly because your brain tends to tune out after walking for a long time and instead try to find a cloud in the sky that looks a bit like a cock, and partly because Bill realised that he had some more Geoff stuck to the back of his neck, which we snorted like we were out trainspotting before we eventually reached another city.
Also, I'd just like to point out that I finally managed to produce a segment of this that isn't longer than the queue at an apple store. How's that for pacing?
Anyway, the first thing we noticed upon arriving in this majestic city of castles and phallic symbols was a sign that we later learned said something along the lines of,"Welcome to Canterlot, city of royals." but may as well have said,"The English saw the dining table and saw the opportunity to play Wiff-Waff with The King's bollocks" For all the sense it made. it was written in some sort of language that seemed like a cross between klingon and Anthony Burgess tongue. Anyway, after spending a good few hours or two trying to make sense of the sign, we realised that, due to what we later learned had to do with some insecure goddess going off to have a sandwich, it had only just turned night. Upon noticing this, we decided that we may as well just fucking sleep right there because if this is a world full of multicoloured horses then I reckoned I could get away with sleeping wherever I damn well pleased. Which at this point is going to be my bed because I've just realised that it's half past bloody eleven and I'm fucking tired. Good night.
Oh, before I go, I've only just realised that I named the Geoff after myself. Subconscious attempt at fame, or the word Geoff being inherently funny? You lot decide, I'm going to bed.