Four weeks later after suffering a traumatic brain disorder called “Lazy-writeritus” the author of the fanfiction returned to his keyboard and began typing out his miraculous tale. In the meantime, we give you the third installment of Bo Bo Spike as “Bo Bo Spike: The Third installment”. The Tragicomedocumenostalgery returns to the trio patiently riding the train discussing their tactics on how to invade the castle.
Pinkie raised her hoof to her chin while she stared at the checkerboard. “Guys, I don’t think this is going to work.”
Iron Will immediately slammed his fist. “Iron Will says the plan is perfect! If we stick to this ingenious plan of Bo Bo Spike’s, the worst we can do is a stalemate!”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, if everypony actually acted like they were on a checkerboard…” She gently knocked over the enemy king, which had a crude picture of Bald-lestia taped to the front, and sighed.
“Pinkie,” Spike spoke out profoundly while reclining in the train booth, “there comes a time in every person’s life when they need to accept the truth. I once had to accept the truth, and look at me now.” A faint golden aura surrounded the dragon. In turn, Iron Will lowered the closest blinds, effectively killing the glow.
“Yes, because I want to have living creatures in my hair, six foot long nose hairs, and a side-kick who didn’t understand the concept of Rock, Paper, Scissors.”
“In Iron Will’s defense, it was not made clear in the official R.P.S. manual that you could change hands,” he replied while holding a copy of the instructions.
Disregarding it, Pinkie decided to scoot out of the booth and walk down to the end of the train car. Each passing of an empty chair reminded her of how her friend’s had all changed, gone to the dark side, and wore wigs. As the day light sky continued to be void of clouds, a sparkling glint of a tiny dot made itself obvious against the blue atmosphere. Her eyes followed the mysterious thing as it slowly moved across the sky. Suddenly, a second shiny object, much of the same size, began to follow it at a rapid speed. Her eyes widened as the first speck began to accelerate and flee from the second. She disregarded the absent minded babbling of her traveling companions and seated herself in a booth. Suddenly, the first speck turned a dark blue and the second adopted a rainbow hue. Pinkie soon discovered a sinking feeling in her stomach, as if something was wrong…
“Yes, it is quite unsettling, isn’t it?” a voice spoke out.
Startled, the mare bounced up and slammed her head on the roof. Iron and Bo Bo Spike both looked at her and she waved back to them as if nothing was wrong.
“H-hello?” she whispered, “is somepony there?”
“Yes,” it firmly replied. “Rather, I am there, out there, and you are here. And the sky is up and the ground is below. To your left in the window you can see Ponyton rock, the rock that looks like a pony.”
“Is it a pony?”
“No, it’s a rock that looks like a pony.”
“So, it is a pony?”
“No, it’s a rock. I’m not going to debate this with you. Listen, I’m currently being chased by that tyrant and I’m the only one who can stop her. Alas, I cannot do it alone. I’ve been secretly watching you and I think that together, we have hope of defeating Bald-lestia.”
Pinkie raised an eyebrow. “But, how did you know about us?”
“I just said I was following you in secret!”
“So why didn’t I see you?”
“BECAUSE-, ugh, it seems that you too have some lack of intelligence like those two fools.”
For a brief moment, the mare talking to no pony in particular returned her vision to her companions… trying to lick an Oreo on their snout.
“Listen,” the voice continued, “when you get off of the train at Chrome-Dome city, there will be a pony selling red balloons. Tell him the code: ‘Bears agitate narwals and nomads after supper’. He will take you in to a secret apartment on floor seven at the Shady Oaks estate. If he asks you if you want some ketchup for your fries, demand you receive mustard.”
“Is that a part of the code?”
“No, frankly the ketchup in that city is disgusting and mustard is a much better substitute. The tomatoes that were delivered for the last quarter have been sullied somehow, it’s really quite a shame. The fries are quite delicious; if you want to add salt, that’s ok too.”
“Oooh kie doookie theeen…”
“Great. We will meet soon. Now, prepare yourself, the train arrives at the station in one half hour.”
Suddenly, the blue object in the sky disappeared and the rainbow hued one stopped dead in its tracks. It paused there for a moment and then was gone too, as if it teleported. Trying to digest what she just heard, the pony returned to the table.
“Pinkie, are you ok? Iron Will suspects that you’re not. When a friend is acting funny, give them a chocolate bunny.”
“I too sense a disturbance in the force,” Bo Bo Spike admitted. “Although, it may have been that burrito eating contest we just had.” His stomach growled at him. “Oh my.”
“Take the bunny, it is made of pruned chocolate.” Bo Bo Spike graciously accepted and then left his seat to find the restroom.
“It’s nothing, but when we go to the city and before we do our assault, can we get some balloons?”
Iron Will scratched the back of his head. “Iron Will does not understand what balloons have to do with the plan.”
“How are you going to defeat them like they’re in checkers if you cannot jump over them?”
He slapped his face as if he didn’t think of it before. “Of course!”
We now return to Twilight Glabrous who was sent into space.
The pony floated limply in the air, not moving a muscle.
Oh, that’s right, there’s no air in space. Please accept this image of a kitten playing with yarn to distract you until the next chapter…
We promise not to unintentionally kill more characters relative to the plot. Until next time!