//------------------------------//
// 14 - Decked in the Halls 
// Story: My Life as a Post-Adolescent Pony 
// by Unicorncob 
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"Rivershine made this look so easy," I lamented as I trudged along the aisle of boxed Hearth's Warming trees. Without a good idea of how big each one was, I was scared of buying one that would poke its prickly plastic branches out of every window in my house.

Probably should've taken measurements or something, smart guy.
"Go complain to Past Sharp. It's his fault, not mine."
Is time travel a thing here? Dimensional travel certainly is, so it might not be all that out there.
"Maybe I'll ask Twilight at some point. She's probably screwed around with a few timelines."

"Um, do you need help, sir?" a voice piped up. I turned and saw a Pegasus stallion wearing a Barnyard Bargains work shirt and a concerned face.
"Just arguing with myself," I said flatly. "Is that not normal?"
The Pegasus blinked and turned to walk off, but against my voluntary introversion, I called him back.
"Wait, there is something I need help with. I'm looking for a Hearth's Warming tree, but I'm not sure which size I should get."
"Oh, that happens all the time," he assured me, and gestured over his shoulder. "There's a size chart at the end of the aisle there, that should help you."
My eyes widened. That would help. Like, a lot. "Oh, thanks a lot."

I trotted over to said chart and took a look-see. Each size tree was depicted by a sketch of a pine with a different sized Pony doodle next to it. I tapped my hoof on my chin as I studied the chart.

Finally, I pointed to the 'Large' part. "That one."

To my great relief, there was only one large tree left. I grabbed the box and hoisted it over my shoulder. Somehow, I had some pretty good balance on three legs. Considering I could barely use all four some days ago, this was some serious progress.

I was about to head to the checkout, but a thought occurred. "Gonna need some lights, I guess," I mused. "Some tinsel and stuff as well."

I tracked down the aisle holding the lights and grabbed a set, then grabbed a pack of tinsel streams. Then I spotted a pack of tree ornaments I liked, that had cute little doodles of Twilight and her friends on it. It was around when I picked up a holly wreath when I realised I'd have to do the walk of shame to the front of the store to grab a cart. And it was more of a shamble of shame with the balancing act I found myself doing. I just about got to the carts before the stuff toppled into one, in surprisingly neat order. I could easily fit some more stuff in there.

Think of your wallet, Sharp.

Right, right. I was on a budget. Still at risk of being kicked out until I paid off my mortgage. I felt like the Mayor wasn't cruel enough to throw me into the street during Hearth's Warming season, but she was a political figure.

That job offer was still in the window, and I hated how tempting it was becoming. I defiantly turned my back to it and rolled the cart around the store to see what would catch my eye.





Far more than I expected, for sure.

I ended up leaving Barnyard Bargains with a new tree, lights, streams of tinsel, boxes of ornaments, a holly wreath, some crappy little plastic snowponies, and a wooden sign that read "Windigos Not Welcome!" that was too bizarre for me to resist. I made a mental note to ask River for context when I next saw her.

Needless to say, my spine was not friends with me at the moment. The tree made up the bulk of the weight I was lugging back to my house, but y'know, straws and camel's backs.

My wallet wasn't best pleased with me either. I'd promised myself I'd watch my spending, but there was definitely something about the holiday season that made coffer straps loosen without their owners' knowledge.

My first Hearth's Warming in Equestria and I was already a mess.

I'd certainly have to worry about paying my loan when the new year rolled in, but I'd trip over that bridge when I came to it. For the moment, I had a house to spruce up.

 Without opposable thumbs, I mentally noted with an audible groan.

Once I stumbled through the door, I tried to be as gentle as possible when I dumped the bags on the floor. Though, now that I had what I needed, another problem reared its festively-coloured head.

Where the heck was I going to put it all?

I trotted into the living room and tapped my hoof against my chin. After a moment, I pointed to a bare corner adjacent to the couch. "Tree goes there."

I picked up the tree box and propped it up against the wall in the corner. Once I'd decided where everything would go, I'd worry about properly putting it there. I looked at the pack of tinsel and wondered where all that could go. Maybe I could do that pretty spiral thing on the banister with it.

Then I mentally facehoofed.

Yes, Sharp, put it around the banister of your one floor home.

"Shut up in there."

I tossed the pack onto the couch, deciding to just drape the stuff over the backrest or something. This was so much easier as a kid--I just had to do what Mom and Dad said. Though, the most they trusted me with was hanging baubles on the tree. Not a promising sign.

I didn't have a front lawn to put those crappy snowponies on, either. Maybe I could put them next to the porch or something?

At least I was sure my special talent wasn't interior design.

I decided to start with the thing I was most sure about: the holly wreath. I ripped open the flap on the box, tore off the plastic wrapping with my teeth like a dog trying to reach a bone, and was delighted to see it came with a complimentary hook.

Easy-peasy. Tradition says the wreath goes on the front--...door.

I had opened up just as Rivershine rang the doorbell. The two of us stared at each other for a moment, and I wasn't sure which of us was the more surprised.

"Can you smell me coming now?" she finally asked, that grin of hers returning to her face.
"Oh, uh," I mumbled, feeling my cheeks warm up, "I-I was just, uh, hanging the, um, the thing."
"On the door? Very retro," said River. "Actually, funny story. I actually came over about decorating. Mine, to be exact."
"I'm not exactly a designer," I confessed. "I barely have any idea what to do on my end."
"Oh no, I don't need critique," she said, then started to awkwardly rub a front hoof behind her head. "Remember when you offered to help me with my lights? I was kinda sorta maybe hoping to call in that favour?"

Normally, I'd be a bit aghast that somepony would so brazenly take something I said off-hoof seriously. But the look on her face told me she really needed help. Considering she did kinda save my life when we first met, I felt like I owed her one. Plus, I wasn't about to just tell her to take a hike just because I had my own thing going on. Somepony else, maybe, but not her.

"It's a real mess over there, lemme tell ya," she went on. "I'll repay you by helping you set up your own stuff when we're done."
Now that was a tempting offer. I could some more experienced hooves on this decorating thing. Particularly more experience with hooves.
"Oh, if I must," I said with my own cheeky smile, setting the wreath down against the wall. "This stuff's not going anywhere. Unless somepony robs me."
"Stealing Hearth's Warming decorations would be pretty desperate," snorted River. "Let's went."

I grabbed my hoodie and closed the door behind me before I followed River down the street. And my heart skipped a beat when I realised something.

Rivershine had just invited me to her house!





I tried to contain that it irritated me that Rivershine's house was nicer than mine. Being set just outside of town meant she had more room for her own garden, complete with picket fence. She had her own not-so-crappy snowponies set out in it. Mine would hide their plastic faces in shame if they saw these things.

"Welcome to the lair," she said, leading me through the front door. "Watch your step--dunno if I got all the mess."

Inside was definitely a lot comfier looking than my place. Naturally most of her festive stuff was already set out, and the shelves were lined with framed photos and charming knick-knacks that gave me ideas on how to spruce up at home. I'd need to find a place to develop camera film, as well as somepony to be in the photo with. Having photos of just yourself around your house just sounded creepy.

She led me into the living room, where a big tree was set up just behind an armchair. Even bare and synthetic, it was an impressive specimen. I hoped mine was similar and that I hadn't just shelled out for some twigs with needles on them.

"Mom always said the lights go first," said River, nodding to the stream of tangled wire on the couch. "Because it's the worst part about the tree, so you might as well get it out of the way."
"Sounds like my dad would like her," I joked. "So, shall we do this?"
"We shall. Pray for us."

If you've ever put up a Christmas tree in your life, or watched your folks do it, you probably have some idea of how this went down. Even in Equestria, that seemingly benevolent stream of pretty colours, made to represent wamrth and good cheer, were the holiday season's mortal enemy.

"I haven't touched this in a year," River complained as she tugged at the wire, "how did it get tangled?"
"Must've been the Hearth's Warming elves sneaking up to mess with you," I said dryly.
"Nah, I whack some elf spray around the attic once a month so I haven't had any trouble with them," she replied in a delivery so matter-of-fact I was convinced she was telling the truth.

Once that debacle was over, step two was putting the lights on the tree. A little easier than step one, but that wasn't saying much.

"Turn on, you stupid thing!" growled River, nearly stomping the switch on the wire into the ground.
"Maybe one of them is broken?" I suggested.
"Nah, it's just being awkward. Lemme try something..."

River joined me in contorting herself around the tree. Whatever she was doing, it didn't sound pleasant.

"There we go," she said, going back to press the switch. I squinted as the small bulbs flickered to life. "Bingo!"
"Are they meant to be blinking?" I asked.
"Oh for--I don't have them set to 'blink'!" The Unicorn released another drawn-out groan. "Hold on a sec."

At this point, I was sure we were wrapped around the tree better than the lights.

"You're a Unicorn," I pointed out, "can't you just use magic or something?"
"Oh no, I'm doing this by hoof," she said firmly. "I'm not going through last year again."





Finally, after what felt like hours, the stupid bulbs were wrapped around the tree and alight in a way that River deemed satisfactory. We both let out a sigh of relief and flopped onto our backsides to rest our legs for a bit.

"Well," she finally said, "that sucked."
"Big time," I agreed, still panting as I glanced at my hooves. "And I thought walking was hard with these things."
River looked at me with a cocked eyebrow. "Huh?"
I bit my lip. "Um, nothing. Bad joke. Let's get the other stuff on the tree, huh?"
"Yeah," River agreed, thankfully not pressing the matter. "Let's get this dumb tree out of the way."

As I grabbed a stream of red tinsel from a cardboard box that reeked like stale plastic and awkward memories, I couldn't help but wonder: When would be a good time to tell her? That I was actually from another world and only ran into her by accident? Should I even tell her at all? How would she take it? Would she call me crazy and push me away?

For some reason, that last one made a lump form in my throat. My drinking buddies from the human world or Twilight and the other Elements, I could live without. But the thought of driving away Rivershine, the first real friend I'd made here... I had no idea why, but it frightened me.

I walked around the tree to hang up the tinsel and met her halfway around with her blue tinsel, and we accidentally booped each other on the nose. We stayed in contact for a second, looking into each other's eyes, before awkwardly taking a step back, chuckling and going back on our ways. No doubt she saw me blushing, because I certainly saw it on her.

She had some really pretty ornaments to hang on her tree. I wasn't an expert, but some of them looked like antiques. She told me how some of them had been in her family as far back as her great-grandparents, but her favourite was one that was crudely painted green, with what she said was her name scrawled on it.

"I painted this dumb thing in kindergarten," she explained, holding it in her magic. "Doesn't look like much, I know, but my parents were so proud of me when I showed it to them."
"They sound like good folks," I said. "Do they live in town?"
"Nah, they've got a place in Manehattan," she said, hanging it on a branch.

I blinked. Had I heard that right? Manehattan? She couldn't be serious.

"I'm actually gonna go over in a few days," she went on. "Poke my head in while I'm out shopping."
"I'll go with you," I blurted out. "Um, I mean, I gotta do some shopping too, so, yeah."
"Sounds good," she said, to my great relief. "I'll need some help fending off the frenzied shoppers."
"I'll bring a good stick."
"You'd better."





By the time we had finally finished the tree, as well as some other little decorating things, it was pitch black outside.

"Oh Sharp, I'm sorry," Rivershine frowned, looking out the window. "I didn't think I'd take this long."
"Don't sweat it," I assured her with a smile. "My decorations aren't going anywhere, probably. Besides, I had fun."
"Yeah, it was fun, huh?" She looked at me with her own smile. I got goosebumps. "Thanks so much for your help. I promise I'll come over and return the favour."
"I'd sure love the company," I said. "I'll stock up on hot cocoa."
"It's a date," she agreed. "Wow, we're sure spending a lot of time together, huh?"
"I promise I'll give you a break," I joked. "I'll definitely leave you and your family alone during Hearth's Warming."
"Hey, don't be a stranger," she assured me. "I think Pop would like you."

I pulled on my hoodie and said goodnight to River before heading home with a real spring in my step. I couldn't get that one moment of physical contact out of my head. We just touched noses for a second, yet it felt like an eternity. She had such pretty eyes too, so that certainly helped. Which was weird, because normally I wasn't a big fan of prolonged eye contact.

That's when it hit me. 

I had a crush on Rivershine.