//------------------------------// // tao is going to take a nap... zzz // Story: Taokaka in Equestria // by ezio dementay //------------------------------// Before we start, Tao and miss litchi have an important message, please take it away. “Yes, this story is mainly for comedic purposes only and should not be taken seriously” Said Litchi in a happy tone, her usual jet black hair and red dress still making her a wonder to the eyes. “This story is non-canon with the Blazeblue universe and therefore will not adjust the main story of the Blazeblue for all those that worry” Taokaka said with a smile, her cat like body and hoodie showing off her happy if not weird style. “Wow Tao, that’s pretty smart, considering you” Taokaka became distracted by Litchi’s above average breast size and quickly lost focus “Ooh boobie lady!” Tao hugged Litchi, getting a feel of her boobies “Boobie lady has the softest pillows meow!” Litchi blushes crimson red out of embarrassment and shoved Tao away “Tao no, were trying to do an educational intro for people that don’t know what Blazeblue is!” Litchi exclaimed, picking up Tao and placing her back on her feet. “But boobie lady, people skip intros silly!” Tao said in a happy tone, and then started to chase her own tail and nibble on it as soon as she caught it “yummy! Tao’s tail is yummy meow!” Litchi face palmed at Tao’s behaviour “Do you remember what were supposed to do today?” Tao started to think, scratching her head for a while “Nope!” Tao exclaimed, nibbling her tail again. “Okay then, since you’ve forgotten, again!” Litchi exclaimed, looking at Tao with some anger, and then turning to the audience’s direction “I’ll explain as best as I can. If I tried to explain the whole plot of Blazeblue, this chapter would probably be way to long, so instead I shall explain the parts needed to for understanding that plot slightly better” Litchi got out some sake for how long this lecture might take. “Basically all you need to know for this story is that Tao’s astral finish, super move or finisher for those that are new to fighting, basically she teleports to a very weird world, which no one seems to question, and then mercilessly beats the hell out of the poor person she’s fighting” Litchi drank some sake and took a deep breath “Me and Tao live in Kagutsuchi, a city designed so it’s above the earth’s surface due to some seather which is a deadly chemical that has well… not pleasant side effects for humans in large doses, but if someone uses it in a small dose, then they can perform attacks like Tao’s astral finish” Litchi took another sip of her sake “any questions?” “I have one!” Tao asked, raising her paw to get her attention, smiling happily with her creepy eyes showing a very familiar look to Litchi “Yes Tao?” Litchi responded, sake at the ready “How do you get your boobies that big?” Litchi face palmed “Okay, Tao you need to have someone massage them to make them bigger” Litchi laughed, thinking Tao would not actually listen to such a ridicules idea like that “Can you massage my boobies Boobie lady?” Litchi ran off before Tao could get her to do anything “Meow? Boobie lady you were going to tell the story! Meow!” Tao picked up the story “Tao can’t read though! There’s no pictures ether!” Tao sat down in a sulk, before seeing someone in the distance. She sniffed the air, picking up the familiar smell of nervousness and being a shy someone “Lacking lady will help!” Tao pounced on Lacking lady, but she got out of the way before Tao could actually land on her “Firstly Tao, stop calling me lacking lady, my name is Noel!” Noel shouted at Tao, regaining her shy personality rather quickly “Just don’t do that, okay?” Noel said, looking rather upset “But Boobie lady told me not to lie” Noel started to get more upset “W-what do you want anyway?” Out of her hoodie pocket, she got out her story and gave it to Noel “I want you to read my story book! Please?” Tao kept saying please over and over and over again, before Noel gave up “Okay fine Tao, let me look at it” Noel skimmed through the book, becoming incredibly confused “Tao this story makes no sense what so ever and there’s no plot! It’s just you being a idi.. I mean being adorable” Tao looked incredibly confused “What’s a plot?” Noel was now borderline about to run away, but it would be rather mean to Tao “Okay, I’ll make something up for you” Noel looked through the, noticing the description of one of the characters. “A purple doggy creature with a funny horn that makes magic, and had a funny feet that that want clop clopedy clop” Noel realized what Tao actually meant “Tao, I think you mean a unicorn here. Okay, I think I can actually do something here” Noel said, sighing in relief before Tao leaped on her in a hug “yay! Lacking lady you’re so nice, even though you have a cutting board” Noel was confused, but started the actual story. --------------------------------Actual story start here, let’s begin! ----------------------------------------------------- It was a peaceful day in Kagutsuchi, there was little violence, there was a two for one offer on steamed buns and Tao forgot the rest, so Tao took a big long nap in her special sunny spot, dreaming about steamed meat buns for hours and hours… Tao got woken up by some screaming coming from the village, running on all fours, she leaped into the village of the Kaka tribe and saw the squiggly thing or Arakune for those who don’t know his name, but he’s still a meanie. He grabbed one of the little Kaka kittens and tried to eat it, but I came along and chopped off his squiggly arm thingy and started to beat the crap out of him! “You promised in the last fight you wouldn’t come back!” I exclaimed loudly, beating the crap out of him or her or whatever it was with my super kaka claws, slashing and dicing, cutting and hacking him into little pieces of chewy parts for some wasabi! Mmm, wasabi yummy for Tao! “st pid c I d, I pr m se no hing to y u!” the blobby thing started to laugh evilly, before leaping at Tao with a giant shark mouth that was filled with spiders, but Tao upper-cutted him in the mouth and sent him flying through the air “Tao’s going to beat that crap out of you!” My body filled with lots of super energy and the whole background changed as I started to beat him up, hitting lots of times over and over and over again. Arakune screamed in pain, before wrapping around Tao and hurting her with some painful bugs that nipped and stung her fiercely, but this caused her astral finish to go crazy and send to this world she had created with her astral finish, and sending Arakune to the other side of the Kagutsuchi. Tao landed in a garden filled with statues of weird goat creatures and weirder goat dragon lion creature statues, but Tao decided to take a long nap in the garden, sleeping on a patch of tulips and roses, snoozing away happily. “What an odd creature” a tall unicorn with wings said, picking up Tao and taking her to a little bed room and placing her in a nice comfy bed “Hmm… I wonder if I could keep this as a pet? No Luna that’s just silly.” Luna thought to herself what to do next “Do I release this creature into the wild, or do I keep her in private?” Tao rolled around in the bed, getting warm and comfy while purring “Tia won’t mind one bit” Luna giggled to herself and put some cookies next to Tao in case she got hungry. “Nighty night Mrs fluffy, don’t go off anywhere” Luna went off to do her usual night duty’s leaving Tao in the bedroom alone… with cookies and books on magic… Luna had decided that tonight she would make a few new stars, some yellow ones to make the night more colourful, than or at least not as boring as it was already. She made the yellow stars form a shape of a smiley face, before nodding in approval of her handy work “very nice Luna” Celestia, Luna’s older sister, and much meaner one snuck up behind Luna, startling her. “Oh hello sister, I was looking for you actually” Luna looked happy and excited, but rather nervous too “can I have a cat? Please?” Celestia rolled her eyes “Luna we have talked about this, no pets” Luna looked upset at Celestia “but sister…” Celestia shushed her sister with her own words “Luna no, no cats, no dogs no pets at all” Luna was upset and went to her room. Once she got back, she went to her new pet and stroked her head caringly “mean old Tia doesn’t have to know about you Mrs fluffy, I’ll look after you, and then we can best friends forever!” Luna exclaimed, hugging Tao or Mrs fluffy in her sleep, with her hugging back in her sleep and hugging tighter “Aww you’re so cute!” Luna kept hugging Tao, happy that she had a new friend, though a secret friend at least. ---------------------------------------------actual story part ends here, back to Blazeblue!-------------- “There you go Tao, one chapter all done and dusted” noel said happily, handing the story to Tao with a happy smile “yay! What’s a chapter? Is that a fish?” noel laughed happily “no a chapter is what spaces out the story, you wouldn’t want to read one really long story all day long would you?” noel asked in a cherry tone “I don’t know, Tao can’t read meow” noel broke out in laughter again, before heading off to do her own thing. “Hmm… maybe bunny lady can help me!” Tao put her story in her hoodie and ventured towards the home of Rachael allurcard, the vampire of Blazeblue and also bunny lady for Taokaka “I wonder if she still has that meat bun that floats with her? I could eat it! Nom nom time!” Tao went fast to the direction of Rachael’s home, with a smile on her face and a mind filled with nothing but possible insanity. Okay before you say anything about the characters, allow me to explain. Taokaka is dumb, naive and curious and is prone to doing stupid things because she follows instinct. Arakune talks like that because… just look him up on the internets! And if you have any questions, ask in the comments.