Mr Rich's Filthy Adventures

by Illuminate Sparkle


Episode 2: Survival of bad writing/the fittest

Who knows what kind of adventure which might surprise him the next day?

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You remember that sentence? Well, the next day surely did surprise Filthy Rich and everypony in the village. Except for Spike. Simply because he's not a pony and because this was something he had feared in the past. However, one day it truly happened.

"ZOMBIES!!!" Diamond Tiara screamed with her usual obnoxious voice while running after her dad, Twilight Sparkle, Cranky Doodles and Derpy Hooves.

The horde of infected ponies followed slowly after the small group of living ponies. When they finally arrived outside the fancy mansion, knocked they stress fulled on the big armored door. The very yellow pale assistant opened the door, happily surprised to see Twilight Sparkle. An opposite reaction of when she saw her master and his annoying daughter.

"Let us in, before the infected ones arrives!" Twilight Sparkle said terrified.

In the distance could Roseluck see the living dead slowly approaching towards them. Without hesitation she pushed the company inside. Immediately when they arrived they began to barricade every window and door. After several minutes of hard work (thanks to Twilight's magic) was their house fully barricaded also defended with a powerful barrier.

"Now then..." Twilight Sparkle began while the others sat around in a circle. "Filthy Rich, you stole the other potion from me before, the antidote, where is it?"

" More importantly, why did you hex everypony like that Twilight Sparkle? Or should I call you... Black - sorceress Sparkle!"

Roseluck and Derpy gasped while intensive eyes stared on the accused mare.

"Well... It was you who wanted a potion to resurrect the dead which ironical turned the citizens into undeads after you poisoned the village's water supply by that very potion. Why? BECAUSE YOU NEEDED SOME TEST SUBJECTS!"

The looks now turned towards Filthy Rich, even Diamond Tiara gave him a glance between hatred and confusion.

"Well... Says the mare who didn't even want any friends before coming to Ponyville and suddenly a day after represents the harmony of friendship - Seems pretty hypocritical to me..." Filthy Rich ended the sentence slowly while the others were unsure who they should believe in, "Besides this is my house so... If you don't believe me you are more than welcome to say hello to the zombies from me."

The last sentence determined which side they should be on.

"Now then, let us throw out Miss smarty - pants and see what they think about her!"

"Your daughter?" Roseluck asked with a mean smile.

"Both of them!" Filthy Rich answered loudly.

"WHAT?!" Diamond Tiara and Twilight's voices echoed through the room.

Suddenly fell something through the chimney, a gurgling sound and two empty eyes was seen while the small creature slowly approached them.

"Oh smart, we forgot the chimney." Cranky said loudly while he rolled his eyes.

"Huh, almost forgot you were with us." Filthy Rich looked towards Cranky.

"Ahhh, we are going to diiiiieeeee!" Diamond Tiara screamed.

"No worries everypony, we can still make it !" Twilight pointed her hoof towards the closest door.

"OoOoOoooOOooo.... Santa Stallion! I wonder if he have any muffins with him?" Derpy slowly walked towards the undead with the biggest smile :D.

"No Derpy it's that nerdy pony with glasses... And he's infected!" Roseluck screamed while she grabbed Derpy's tail with her teeth.

"Well you never know until you take a better look." Filthy Rich interrupted while he pushed Derpy towards the zombie. "NOW RUN!"

The rest of the group ran towards the door, opened it, went in and sealed it. Instead of being in that cozy big room was they in a small, dark one, even without windows.

"What the hay did you just do?!" Twilight Sparkle and the others looked angrily towards the richer stallion.

"I saved you... Like a boss."

"No, you sacrificed one of our own just so you could survive!"

"Well excuuuuuse me princess for saving us, what about your magic? Would be pretty nice if you had used some."

Concerned looks met Twilight's who seemed almost a little bit sad.

"It's not easy to... launch a spell against ponies you for a few hours was friends with..."

"Cry me a river which hopefully can kill the zombies or else your even more useless than Derpy!" Filthy Rich mockingly looked towards Twilight.

She sighed.

"Where is the antidote... You grabbed it earlier today, it's enough with just a little and everything will be restored to normal."

"Well the thing is - "

"It's probably inside his vault. He doesn't want anypony in there because he doesn't trust anypony because he's an asshole" Roseluck interfered while walking towards the next door. "We are pretty close, we can do it, if he wants to open the lock for us."

Twilight Sparkle's horn glowed and levitated Filthy Rich upside down while she threatened him to cooperate. Everypony stared in horror at how cruel Twilight could be, however, it worked.

"Let's go then and-"

A sudden smash and the wall was destroyed by a zombified Big Macintosh who immediately attacked Roseluck. Behind the powerful stallion came the cutiemark crusaders who looked towards their former friends with a hungry sight.

"I knew the Applefamily was farmers but not even using a door? Sheesh" Filthy Rich said with a calm voice.

"I-I survived l-long enough, even though I'm a donkey. The donkey always usually die first in the movies..." added a rather depressed voice.

"Yeah, let us stick to what we are used to" Filthy Rich answered while kicking the old donkey towards the cutiemark crusaders.

"Daddy?!" Diamond Tiara screamed by what she had witnessed.

"Sorry, totally forgot about you" he said while kicking his own daughter aswell towards the zombies.

Filthy Rich grabbed Twilight with him and ran towards the door, leading further into a long hallway. A magnificent hallway decorated with big paintings, sculptures and soft wool-like mats. That was what Filthy Rich was thinking about his hallway while Twilight was only determined to survive. Eventually they reached the outside of a great iron - valve where Filthy Rich unlocked the lock by the most advanced password ever to exist:

When I'm rich

They entered the valve and closed it.

"First off: You are the coldest pony who have ever lived in Equestria, period. Secondly: In which of these safes is the antidote?" Twilight Sparkle asked while she looked with hatred towards the stallion.

Filthy Rich looked a bit nervous towards the unicorn.

"Don't be mad now..."

"Okay..?"

"I sold it."

"WHAT?! How, when?" The mare asked furious while she slowly began to become more red.

"You know, ehay... Before I realized it maybe would be stupid to poison the whole Ponyville with the resurrecting - potion... Actually got a few milli-"

The unicorn's eyes suddenly turned blood red as if she was possessed and her mane and body burst into yellow - orange flames while she grew bigger and bigger.

"WHAT THE BUCK HAVE YOU DONE?!" the enraged Twilight Sparkle roared with a voice changed completely into a demon's.

"Not you... I hope..."

"AAAAAARGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!"

The possessed inferno driven by hatred towards Filthy Rich created a magical force which blasted the ceiling far, far away. However, the energy itself emerged in the air and created a big fiery heart which cleansed Ponyville of its evil. That is cleansing. Wait what, seriously, THIS is the best you could come up with? Wow, this is just amazing and what happened to Twilight did she turn to normal for no explained reason? Ah, okay, just like episode 15, season 1... I see... Okay so everything turned back to normal and nopony got hurt? BUCK THIS!!!

And thus left the narrator the plot and everything ended otherwise in happiness.

Except for Twilight Sparkle who got sued by Filthy Rich for destroying his roof. Also being accused for have been using black - magic.

Twilight Sparkle has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty according to Celestia's law.