//------------------------------//
// The Inventions 
// Story: Deathtrap Division: Virgil's "Superweapons" 
// by Senor Oblongo 
//------------------------------//

The next 5 months of Bernard’s time at Crevasse Hold were anything but easy, in fact, he considered them the hardest weeks of his entire life. When Gear first saw the designs, he was vehemently against them at first, saying that they were preposterously unsafe. Surprisingly, it was Misty that pushed to try to build prototypes of the new designs, convincing Gear to cautiously agree as well. She would never reveal why, perhaps she was just eager to get back to work after weeks of being in a holding pattern, or maybe she saw the potential in the designs. No matter the case, the only one left to try to convince was Lars, who was skeptical at first, but, once Bernard promised him that he would be generously compensated for any equipment he provided, and assured him that there would be opportunities to expand his collection even further, then he was all in as well. 

Thus began months of building, retooling, redesigning, and development, both of numerous prototypes and of the factory itself. The five worked tirelessly to ensure everything went smoothly. Misty and Gordon worked closely on refining the new designs and incorporating their newfound knowledge as quickly as possible, ensuring that things were as good as they could be before so much as a single bolt was tightened. Gear continued to handle the day-to-day operations of the factory, seeing that the transition from hand tools and carts to power tools and conveyors was as smooth as possible. Lars distinguished himself in several raids, heists, and arms deals in a whirlwind season that he dubbed the ‘Bandit’s Spring’ which gave Misty and Gordon a great amount and variety of material to work with. The name never caught on, but the others were thankful for his help nonetheless. 

That left Bernard with the one duty that he dreaded: corresponding with Ms. Whitefeather. Even with his best bedside manners cultivated from years of doctoring on the hard frontier, she was still as stern, cold, and forceful as ever when he spoke with her. Every day it felt like a great hammer could come down on him and his friends’ heads at any moment, and all their progress would be for nothing. Luckily, those fears never amounted to anything, as Ms. Whitefeather was always forthcoming with aid and let setbacks go with little more than some veiled threats and a verbal lashing. As anxious as reporting to her made Bernard, at the end of the day he could not deny that none of their work would be possible without her assistance. 

Her patience had limits, however, and in mid-July the order came down for a final report on the factory’s prototypes, as well as a declaration that their research would be suspended in order to focus solely on the production of their new designs. The five of them gathered in the main room of Bernard’s cabin one afternoon, and after some pleasantries, they began work in earnest.

“So what do you think we should start with?” Bernard asked, making sure his typewriter had enough ink and paper for the task ahead, “We’ve got a lot of ground to cover, so we have to choose wisely.”

Gordon pipes up immediately, “Oh, we ought to go with one of our earlier projects, the magic lift or whatever we were gonna call it! That was really cool!”

“Magi-lift,” Misty interrupted, “And yes, it was quite the extravagant endeavor, but more importantly it led to some interesting breakthroughs with levitation magic that helped later, even if it wasn’t successful. I would say it's as good a place to start as any.”

“I think you’re right, if there are no other suggestions, we’ll start with that.” Bernard let the question hang in the air for a few seconds before nodding and loading the typewriter with a fresh sheet of paper. 

“Ok, so let's format it like this, and…” Bernard cleared his throat and began to dictate what he was typing to the group.

“Name: Magi-lift Propulsion System

Summary: As part of an exercise into how levitation magic interacts with crystals, our research department proposed to supplement the tracked suspension and movement systems of a standard armored vehicle with magic. This was accomplished by securing large crystals imprinted with levitation spells onto the sides of several Wingbardian L3/33 tankettes. The goal was to achieve a truly all terrain vehicle that could be maneuvered simply by a magically capable driver. The results were interesting, but far from practical. There was great difficulty in standardizing the power of each crystal, resulting in a less than stable firing platform. In most cases, one crystal was more powerful than the other, resulting in the tank floating at a sharp incline. In other cases, a tank would barrel roll uncontrollably until the crystals lost power, sending the tank crashing to the ground. In the most serious case, a tank suddenly rose rapidly into the sky, carrying its two crew members with it. Thankfully, the two griffons were able to bail out and glide safely down to the ground, but the tank never stopped rising, eventually disappearing into the sky. Several estimates were given as to where and when the tank may land, but after a month of patrols no sign of it could be found. Employees of the facility have taken to calling the rogue vehicle ‘Gordon’s Tankette’. One tankette and no employees were lost as a consequence of this project, though several did lose their lunches.

Result: Project canceled.”

Bernard pulled the finished page out of the typewriter and set it with the schematics. Gordon looked over at Gear with a grin, “You should have seen the look on your face when that tank flew off.”

“Yeah, because I was worried about the griffons inside, you lunatic!”

Bernard clears his throat, hands on the keys ready to go, “Are we good to continue? Nice, now we follow up with something that worked.”

“Name: ‘Bonehead’ Inertial Dampeners

Summary: Using the knowledge gained from the ‘Magi-lift’ project, it was suggested that levitation magic could be used to slow the descent of dropped materials. Small-scale testing determined that items dropped while attached to a crystal imprinted with levitation magic could be slowed to a gentle float with relative ease. The design team decided to take this line of thinking to its logical extreme and attempt to airdrop a tank without a parachute. Tankettes were fitted with a single charged levitation crystal and attached to the underside of a Griffonian two-engine K-09 heavy bomber. The design team had the choice between two different activation mechanisms: the first was a claws-off, mechanical timer system that would trigger the crystal automatically at terminal velocity. The other option was a less complex but far more dangerous method of having part of the crew bail out of the plane when the tank was dropped, following it in mid-air, then using a special wand to activate the crystal. Keeping with their streak of questionable decisions, citing ‘the spirit of the project’, the team opted for the latter method. Miraculously, over 60% of the tests were successful, with the bailed out crew able to activate the crystal mid-descent around 75% of the time. Several tanks were lost to mis-calibration of the crystal dampener. In the final test, a heavier, Changeling Panzer III was dropped successfully, showing that this system has the potential to allow for airdrops of even heavier vehicles than standard parachutes or gliders allow. Patented watermelon testing showed that, under optimal conditions and with a significant amount of tweaking, it might be possible to drop the vehicles with crew inside, allowing for immediate combat and maneuver once the vehicles touch down. The main drawback of the system, beyond the less than optimal success rate, seems to be the stress placed on the crew during the airdrop itself. This is the origin of the system’s name, as one of the technicians working on the project, when asked about his opinions on the system, was quoted as saying: ‘You would have to be a total bonehead to use it.’ Seven tankettes were lost over the course of this project.

Result: Project successful.”

Bernard looked up from the typewriter and at Lars, “I can’t believe you were able to get so many of those tankettes for us.”

Lars simply smiled, seemingly waiting for another question.

“No, I’m not gonna ask you how you got them, I can draw my own conclusions.”

“I take exception to that bit about questionable decision making,” Misty huffed, “Parachutes are expensive to make and crystals are the only thing we have in surplus.”

Lars raised an eyebrow.

“And tanks.”

Lars sat back in his chair, looking fairly pleased with himself. Bernard stretched his arms, “Alright, well we’re almost done recounting how we tortured the tankettes, just one more project with them.”

Misty looked very smug, pulling a schematic set from the pile. “You mean my magnum opus? I think I should be the one to write this report.”

Misty moved the typewriter in front of her, then sorted a set of schematics and reports around her for reference and began writing.

“Name: ‘D.A.W.N.’ Dragonfire Anti-tank Weapon 

Summary: The DAWN is a sophisticated module that uses crystals imprinted with dragonfire teleportation magic to teleport explosives directly into enemy tanks. Astute readers will recall that dragonfire is, as the name suggests, exclusive to dragons and requires one to know the target in order to send something using it. Thanks to tireless research and a generous donation from Ms. Whitefeather that allowed us to buy dragon expertise, we were successful in imprinting a small collection of crystals with draconic magic. When these crystals are heated, their exterior will catch fire, teleporting whatever is caught in the flame. This is the first of the DAWN’s two part system. The second part is a radio transmitter that is coiled around the crystal which, when tuned to a tank’s radio frequency, will teleport a payload towards the receiving radio. The stronger the signal, the closer the payload will be to the source before appearing again. The simplicity of the system gives it many strengths and weaknesses. It is easy to operate, relatively easy to produce, and has a much lower external profile than a standard cannon. It requires knowledge of how to tune a radio and nothing more, cutting down on overall training time and crew requirements. The downsides are that it is bulky, requires dragon assistance to build, and has a shorter lifespan than other anti tank weaponry. The crystal in the weapon requires replacement after every 40 items teleported, and a dragon must be involved in the imprinting of the crystal, as the outer layer is formed by their breath magic. In smaller tanks, it also prevents the inclusion of a standard cannon altogether, limiting the vehicle’s effectiveness against other targets. The system also drowns out communications with a signature crackle, which may alert enemy tank crews that they are being targeted. Targets can also evade the system by shutting their radios off, preventing their acquisition, and targets that lack radios completely cannot be targeted at all. There is also the issue of lighting a fire in an enclosed space, which can deteriorate the effectiveness of the crew significantly over time. Overall, we do not believe that these downsides detract from a novel and cheap system for dealing with enemy tanks.

Results: Project successful.”

Misty sat back and admired her handiwork, but before she could set it aside, Gordon grabbed it out of the typewriter and looked over it. He lulled his head to the side and let out a few loud snores before snapping back straight up and shouting, “Boooring! Way to sell your invention too, it reads like a Skyfall cigarette pack! One line about how great they are and then twenty about all the diseases they’ll give you! Let me have a shot at this thing, I know exactly what I’m gonna write about!”

Gordon let Misty’s report go and it sailed onto the table. While she was preoccupied with setting it away, Gordon reached over the table and took the typewriter for himself. After making a show out of mockingly exaggerating how Bernard loaded and checked over the typewriter, Gordon launched into writing.

“Name:  Pa-2V ‘Magic Dragon’

Summary: The design team recognizes that collaboration is the bedrock of scientific progress, and there is no one more collaborative than the ponies of Stalliongrad. They contributed significantly to this project, being so generous as to ‘donate’ some of their brand new mid-range bombers to Nova Griffonia, so that we could ‘acquire’ it from them. Truly, the results garnered from ‘willing and friendly’ international cooperation are incredible. The team also recognizes that the simplest solutions are often the best, and there is no simpler solution than ‘more gun’. Following this line of thinking, we have decided that bombing enemy emplacements and positions into submission is an outdated strategy that can be significantly improved upon. To this end, we have removed the bomb mounts and bomb bay doors from our new aircraft and replaced them with an array of dozens of our state-of-the art magical rifles, held by an equally state-of-the-art but tastefully rustic pine wood scaffolding. This ingenious design incorporates elements of modern warfare, aviation, magic, and napoleonic gun lines to great effect. The aircraft is intended to fly over an entrenched enemy or static emplacement, the bombardier will then push a button that will fire the rifles row by row. This sophisticated firing pattern allows the first guns to finish recharging just as the last ones fire, allowing for the saturation of a large area below the aircraft. Awed observers have likened it to a great dragon raining down destruction on its foes with a single breath, which led to its name. Its designation was determined similarly, as the design team felt that it accurately captured the essence of the Virgillian spirit, which led to the addition of the ‘V’. Rumors concerning a risk of spontaneous combustion if the weapons system is not operated within exact specifications and drastic reductions in effectiveness due to individual guns malfunctioning after the first three volleys are being investigated, but we are sure that they are little more than vicious lies.

Results: Project very successful.”

Gordon pulls the page from the typewriter and hands it to Bernard, who looks it over incredulously.

“Wow,” Bernard shook his head, “This is really something.”

Gordon was beaming. “Ain’t it?”

“Yeah, something I’ll have to completely rewrite later.”

“Once again my genius goes completely unappreciated. Here, you take it back then.”

“Thank you kindly. Now I don't think we have any other aircraft designs and I think we’ve done enough with the tanks for right now at least. So why don’t we move on to something else?”

Gear chimes in, “What about that crystal fuel system? I’ve never seen a 2 and a half ton truck do a wheelie before.”

“Oh yeah, that’s definitely going in the report.”

“Name: Crystal Fuel Filter

Summary: Part of a foray into crystal fuel enrichment, it was discovered that crystals that were magically charged, but not imprinted with any particular spells, could be used to vastly improve the performance of different engines. A variety of vehicles, but primarily trucks, had their passenger side seat removed and the fuel line was shifted upwards into the now empty space in the cabin. This fuel line had a special crystal canister attached to it which could be pushed into the fuel line, allowing the crystal to interact with the fuel as it flowed past. The only downside of this design is that it prevents a passenger in cargo trucks or a radio operator gunner in tanks. The exact chemical reaction that occurs is as of yet unknown, but thorough testing has shown that, at peak charge, this system can triple the horsepower of a standard 6-cylinder engine. Over small stretches, this is excellent for short term performance, allowing even heavier vehicles a surprising amount of mobility for a few moments. However, this puts extreme stress on the rest of the vehicle. Every conceivable part of the vehicles tested were stretched to their limits. Shredded tires, snapped axles, blown radiators, melted brakes, and disassembled treads were only a few of the challenges our motorpool was faced with over the course of testing. The desire of the design and testing teams to watch heavy military equipment do ‘sick jumps’ did not aid things in this regard, though we now possess the record for maximum air time in a wheeled vehicle. This was also the most popular project among testers, who affectionately refer to the system as the ‘Oh Boreas’ button. 14 transport trucks, 5 halftracks, and 3 tanks were critically damaged during testing, with only 6 trucks and a halftrack being returned to service at the time of writing.

Results: Project successful.”

As Bernard looked up from his work, the dimming lights from the windows caught his eye. “Hey what time is it? These reports have to be on the last airship out of here today, and it leaves at 10.”

Gear pulled out a pocket watch and looked at it for a second before lifting it towards Bernard, “Nine-fifteen on the nose.”

Bernard placed the report alongside the others in a sealed folder and wrote Ms. Whitefeather’s name and address on it, “Alright, I think that's all we have time for. I have to catch that airship before it gets going. Gear, did you get that production sheet out to her?”

“Sure did, all those new tools you got us really did wonders for our throughput, we’re making as much in a day now as we did in a month around this time last year.”

“Love to hear it, but seriously, when I first got here I had no idea how I was going to get anything done. Now we’re sending off applications of magic that no other team has ever thought of. Without you all, I don’t know where I’d be.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Director,” Misty smiled, “You brought this team together to do some great things.”

“Yeah and I think we make a great team,” Gordon chuckled, “You know, it got me thinking that maybe all that stuff that those ponies are saying about friendship and magic and stuff might not be so far fetched?”

The group laughed, continuing to congratulate each other on a job well done for some time. Eventually, Lars cleared his throat and pointed to his own timepiece.

Bernard, realizing how late it had become, shot up and walked briskly towards the door, “Right, got to go, see you all tomorrow. I’ll let everyone know what Ms. Whitefeather says as soon as I hear something back!”

Bernard was out the door before he finished his sentence, rushing towards the airship moorings. He made it there just in time, looking for the captain. There was a brief tension in the air as Bernard handed over the folder containing the designs that represented not just his own best hopes and months of effort, but that of all his friends as well. The diamond dog stood on the moorings as the airship took off into the evening summer sky, then disappeared over the mountains. All they could do now is wait.