Well, I'm back. Sorry about that, but that was some good fucking pizza. Where was I? Oh yes.
We'd just punched out the horse with the magical, pointy tumor growing out of its forehead, nicked its caravan because this was a dimension where horses could own and operate caravans, and were now reenacting the episode of Top gear where they go caravanning and then Jeremy sets the thing on fire while cooking some chips. It was at around the point where I served up some, erm, actually I'm not entirely sure what it was. So let's call it Geoff. It was around the point where I served up some nice Geoff on a broken plate that the thing I'd clonked out appeared in the caravan with us and caused us to crash in a horrible orgy of screaming, swearing, and Geoff flying everywhere. And if you thought that that segment of this story was too fast paced and not well presented then first off what are you doing trying to critique something like this? You don't try to put out a fire with fag ends and you don't come to me to hear a well done story. And besides, it happened basically that fast. She seemed to decide in that 16.3 seconds of confusion that she'd rather just fuck off and hope that we die or get our nobs stuck in a wringer or something. I watched her walk off, taking the salvageable bits of the caravan with her, before I realised that Bill was lying prostrate on the floor snorting Geoff.
I stared at him, not sure wether I wanted to shout, vomit, or implode on the spot, but eventually he explained himself to me, sort of. All he did was look at me like a fucking mental patiant and shout "MAN DAS SUM GOOD ASS SHIT." I figured I couldn't argue with that and began to snort some of Geoff myself. the result? Everything looked pretty much exactly the same, not that made Skegness(Yes, we're still calling it that) any less trippy as it already looked like a slightly less edible version of the tutorial level from The Simpsons Game. In fact, the only thing that was different about the whole thing is that Bill had morphed into what appeared to be a first edition copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy(the one mentioned in the book by Douglas Adams, not the book by Douglas Adams) and that every single one of my fingernails looked like this. So, having honed the act of deliberately not giving a shit for a cheap laugh down to a fine art, I watched as the little blokes in my fingernails pranced around holding a pair of shallots each like they were a set of fucking castanets. This went on for about half an hour, at which point I returned to reality and had to drag Bill along with me due to his having snorted far more Geoff than I had. I don't know what he saw during that trip he had, but what I do know is that now I don't half fancy a fucking shallot. I'll be back in a sec.