//------------------------------//
// Week One 
// Story: Equestrian Football League 
// by bobdat 
//------------------------------//

"Heeeelllllooooo and welcome back to Dave's Super Sporting Super Hour, the first of the regular season here on Fillydelphia Radio Network. As always, I'm here in the studio with Butterfingers Jim, Wire Receiver extraordinaire and bench warmer during the Eagles' last trip to the Superbowl."
"That's me, Dave. I'd just like to take this opportunity to remind listeners that I'll be at Fillydelphia Outlet Mall this Wednesday morning signing autographs. For free, of course."
"Head down to Fillydelphia Outlet Mall if you want a piece of history; just make sure he doesn't drop your pen! Anyway, we're here this afternoon to discuss the weekend's action - and what an exciting opening weekend it was! Of course, the disappointment over the performance of the Eagles will be our main talking point, but we'll bring you analysis of all of the games and see what the Eagles' chances are for the rest of the season. Plus, we'll be answering the phones to see what you thought of the game on Sunday. Remember folks, the coaches listen to this radio show, so get phoning in! And as always, Dave's Super Sporting Super Hour is brought to you here on Fillydelphia Radio Network by Sweet Apple Acres Cider - the best cider in all of Equestria! Don't believe us? Get a tankard from your local dealer and see for yourself!"

"So let's start with the mighty Eagles at the Beats. I certainly thought they could have won this one, Jim?"
"Well Dave, I didn't actually watch it so-"
"An unlucky six point loss to open the season for the Eagles, 103-109. It's widely regarded that they were let down by their flex position this week, with the player in question picking up a miserable three points - the worst performance on the team. Had he brought his A-game, we might've seen him get those extra six points for the victory. Latest reports suggest that he's been moved to the bench for next week's game. The game was never in the Eagles' favour, however; the Beats played an excellent game. It's worth remembering that the Eagles' 103 points would have been enough to beat six of the ten teams in the league. They just happened to be playing the Beats who have a strong team this year. What do you think, Jim?"
"The Beats are joint top of their division, so it was always going to be tough."

"Now we'll bring you some of the Eagles coach's post-game interview, it's interesting to see what he thinks went wrong."
"It was a terrible loss. The players let me down, the staff let me down, the pitch let me down, the officials let me down, the commentators let me down, the refreshments let me down. The only people who didn't let me down were the fans, who at least turned up. Oh wait, they were Beats fans anyway. If we can get that kind of support at our games, I'd be a lucky man. A game like this makes me question not just my job, but my involvement in the Equestrian Football League at all."

"Well, I think there are plenty of positives to take away from that, don't you Jim?"
"Oh absolutely. He was clearly impressed with the play calling."
"Shows he has high hopes for our first game here in the beautiful city of Fillydelphia, so I hope to see all of you listeners making the short trip to the Brown Soda Dome this coming Sunday to cheer on the Eagles as they take on the Gallopers. Should be a close game, with predicted scores exceeding 100 for both teams. The tone of the first home game will set the pace for the rest of the season, so if the mighty Eagles can win they'll be in a strong position to go 12-1 this time around."
"They might even go 13-0!"
"Well, anyway, let's move on to the other scores from around the league."

"Starting with the Eagles' next opponent, the Gallopers, who were at the Chargers. An exceptionally strong performance by the Chargers saw them score a fearsome 120 points, the highest in the league, and really that Gallopers had no chance with only 89 in reply. The Gallopers were mainly let down by their receiving team, with two of them only putting on 9 points between them. But they really didn't have much hope of coming away with a win when the Chargers were playing so well. It's looking like the Chargers will be the favourites for this season, especially if they play like that next week, when they're away at the Packers."

"The Packers themselves were away at the Colts and slipped to an 85-99 defeat. Serious problems for the Packers with very bad performances from their secondary running back and primary receiver, not to mention a truly terrible kicking game. The fact that they only lost by 14 points shows just how weak the Colts are. Their receivers looked particularly susceptible, but they had some strong running and came away with the win this time around. They have an easy-looking schedule early on though, so expect them to pick up some wins as they make their adjustments. Their next opponents are the Broncos, who were disastrous in their opener against the $hy$."

"Nobody on the team performed at all, with the exception of their starting QB. He must be frustrated since he scored a third of the team's 64 points. Their defence was so bad that they actually lost points, four of them. The $hy$ have room to improve, with weak running and receiving. But they racked up 94 points which is fairly respectable, right Jim?"
"Their defence was huge this time around, pulling off 18 points and just generally looking tough to beat. My hooves would have been shaking if I'd had to play this team."
"The $hy$ new owner will be pleased with his first win, and they'll have an easy second next week against the terrible Ravens. The Ravens actually managed to pull off a 104-71 victory this week, beating the hapless Ponies, but don't expect it to last. This win says more about the Ponies than the Ravens."

"Simply put, the Ponies didn't turn up. They were mediocre throughout and never looked as if they were going to challenge the league's worst team. No outstanding performances at all. The Ravens, on the other hand, look to have a tough running game but that shouldn't be a problem for the other teams in the league. The Ponies play the Beats next week, and will probably slip to another embarrassing loss."
"If I were the Ponies' coach, I would be hiding my face this week. Losing to the Ravens is inexcusable."
"Well said, Jim. Anyway that concludes our roundup; to summarise, it looks as if the Chargers will be leading the league this year, with the Ponies and Broncos propping up the table. What's your thought for the week, Jim?"
"Why are there so many poor wide receivers? In my day, every team had three or four quality performers."
"Absolutely, although you weren't one of them. Remember folks, Dave's Super Sporting Super Hour is brought to you by Sweet Apple Acres Cider - having a party? Nothing will make it go with a bang quite like Sweet Apple Acres Cider, but a barrel today! Now we're going to go to the phones, who's on line one?"

"Hi, mah name is Joe."
"Nice to hear from you Joe. Now, do you have a question for Jim or I, or do you just want to say something about our team?"
"Ah just wanted to say that ah think the Eagles are the very best team in the entire world. Go Eagles!"
"Thanks for that Joe, we totally agree with you. Who's on line two?"
"My name is Buttercup."
"Go ahead Buttercup."

"I wanted to ask Jim if, from his playing days, he thinks that the overall quality of the drafted wide receivers these past few years is decreasing? Only I've noticed a particular increase in the number of dropped catches and decrease in the Y-A-C figures every year."
"I don't think we'll ever go back to the golden days."
"Yes but should Equestria's colleges be trying to build up their wide receivers so that those drafted will be better?"
"That's up to the colleges. They're probably happy with their running games."
"But-"
"Okay thank you Buttercup. Line one again?"

"Oh my Celestia, hi, hi!"
"What's your name?"
"I'm Thistle."
"Welcome to the airwaves Thistle. What's your question?"
"Oh... I don't have a question. I just wanted to say that I am Jim's number one fan!"
"Well thank you kindly lass."
"Please come out of retirement!"

"Well Jim, fancy another fling in the EFL?"
"There's been a shift to the running game since I was a player, Dave. I wouldn't be able to post the same kind of numbers and folks would be saying I was past my best."
"Not to mention that you're fifty nine this year, Jim."
"There's that too."
"Anyway I think that's all we've got time for this week. Any final words, Jim?"
"Only that I'd like to remind everypony to come and get my autograph this Wednesday at Fillydelphia Outlet Mall. Especially my wife."
"Fantastic. Well this is Dave signing off on Dave's Super Sporting Super Hour on Fillydelphia Radio Network. Hope to see you all at the Brown Soda Dome on Sunday, and remember, this show is brought to you by Sweet Apple Acres Cider. It doesn't come in bottles for a reason! See you this weekend."