“Do I really have to do this?”
“It is just a party, darling.”
“Whatever happened to keeping a low profile?” I asked as I struggled to stand comfortably. “I’m getting a town-sized party thrown for me!”
“Oh, I imagine it would have happened anyway. Pinkie would have just found another reason for a party.” Rarity thought for a moment. “I am quite sure this will be a lovely opportunity for you to make some friends around here, darling. After all you are staying here for the next six months.”
“Or longer,” I said as I surrendered and allowed Rarity to continue making my party attire. Against my intentions, and without any interest in payment, she had made me a cream coloured vest with a matching brimmed hat. She insisted that I go to the party in some form of dress as I was, “representing Canterlot” something that neither I nor the city really cared about.
Still, it was the town where everypony knew everypony, so I suppose it was expected of me to attend. This would be a good opportunity to get to know the other ponies and I’d learned recently that working with other ponies was much more entertaining that working alone. Even Vinyl had been interesting to work with between insults and death-glares.
My first afternoon in Ponyville so far had been spent mostly in Rarity’s “Carousel Boutique”, where she had immediately started preparing me for Pinkie Pie’s “Come meet Time Turner” party. The afternoon had swiftly disappeared as Rarity wove her magic around me and I had been standing in the same spot for most of it while attempting to learn the art of sleeping while standing up.
As evening approached Rarity eventually declared my outfit fabulous and Opal stopped trying to tear my hat apart. We departed together to go to the party venue.
Under the night sky a few things about the town became obvious. Ponyville does not have the same level of street lighting as Canterlot or nearly as much noise. The sky was far more brilliant than it was in the city as the light from the stars shone brighter in the comfortable darkness. The cold mountain wind that blew through Canterlot every night was replaced by a pleasant breeze that carried the sound of birdsong, even at this time of night.
The pair of us walked down the streets toward the brightest and loudest thing in Ponyville, presumably where I would be meeting everypony. As we continued I noticed a number of houses without any lanterns lit.
I remarked on this to Rarity who replied, “Pinkie’s parties are legendary around here, darling. Few in town would miss one if they had the choice.” That didn’t reassure me at all.
The party was outside a large gingerbread building on a series of tables that were covered in food with music playing from a gramophone player. I was genuinely shocked by the turn out. The party had already started with dozens of ponies present who were already having a good time.
“Hi, you’re here!” said the pink pony as she appeared again. “Are you excited about your party‽ I know I would be, when I saw you earlier I knew that I didn’t know who you were, but I know everypony in Ponyville, which means you’re new and so you don’t know anypony but Rarity and that’s terrible because there are so many friendly ponies in Ponyville so I had to throw you a massive party so you could meet everypony!” She gave me a grin so wide her mouth actually became larger.
“So do you like it‽ Huh‽ Huh‽ Huh‽?”
“...”
“You don’t like it?” she asked, deflating.
“One moment, Pinkie,” Rarity interrupted before waving a hoof in front of my face. “Hmm, I believe you drove him into shock.”
“...”
“Oh, I have just the thing for that.” Pinkie reached out into mid-air and pulled out a cupcake with the word “Welcome” iced onto it. She opened my mouth and shoved it in.
Sweet does not begin to describe the taste. It was a super dense concentration of sweetness, it was literally impossible not to be happy with it in your mouth.
“Wow!” I declared through my full mouth.
“You liked it? I made it myself just for you,” Pinkie enthused. I nodded in response and Pinkie beamed, “great let’s go meet everypony!”
Pinkie Pie dragged me around to everypony, introducing me by telling me their name and then dragging me to the next one. “Alright ,Time Turner: this is Berry Punch, this is Lucky, Caramel, Ditzy Doo, Cloud Kicker, Carrot Top, Minuette, Bon-Bon...” As Pinkie’s parade of ponies continued, I tried to remember as many faces as possible. In the end I could only reliably remember twenty or so.
Once Pinkie Pie had finished introducing me to everypony in record time I began to get my wits back together and made my way toward the buffet table. Only to be intercepted halfway to the muffin platter by a unicorn mare with a two-tone blue-white mane that looked like toothpaste.
“Hi there, new guy,” she said with a wink. “I’ll save you a spot tomorrow.”
“A spot?” I asked.
Oh silly me, I’m Minuette, the town’s dentist. I’m always booked out for a week after a party like this, so I’m going to save you an appointment at 11:00AM tomorrow.”
“Ah… thank you, Minuette. That’s kind of you,” I replied.
“Ok, it’s a date. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She walked off as I resumed my course toward the buffet table while mentally reviewing the last sentence she said to me as she left.
As I reached the table I was interrupted by another mare from across the doughnut platter. This one I recognised as the purple coated Berry Punch.
“Hey there, Time Turner.” She nodded at the bowl to my right, “Give the punch a try.” I looked at it before glancing back at her; she was giving me a hopeful smile. I took the ladle out and filled a glass with the mixture before drinking it in a single lift.
“Like it?” Berry asked and I nodded. “I made it myself, although it’s not nearly as strong as I would like.” She drifted off in thought and then snapped back, “So, Time Turner, I hear you're staying with Rarity?”
“Yes, just for a while. Why do you ask?” Berry simply shrugged at my question.
“Just wonderin’. Well, since you like the punch, I’ll drop some more of it over later just to be neighbourly.” She glanced around before announcing, “There’s Pinkie. I’m just going to go say hello to her, I’ll see you later.” She walked off in Pinkie’s direction with a spring in her step.
With Berry Punch gone, I returned to searching for the Muffin platter I saw earlier only to find it empty. I spotted a grey Pegasus walking away from me with what must have been the last muffin in her mouth.
Now resigned to not getting any muffins I went over to the next table to get a slice of cake instead. I walked carefully and kept watch for anypony else waiting to ambush me in conversation. The last two had been slightly suspect in their aims.
At the cake table I found Rarity again using her magic to divide slices of the cake for everypony, her distinctive flourish evident in her horn work. “Ah Turner, How are you enjoying the party so far?” Rarity asked.
“It’s been excellent. Everypony is really friendly, very friendly in some cases.”
“I should suspect so,” Rarity said with a conspiratorial smile. “Why I have had so many ponies ask questions about you.”
“Like what?” I asked.
“Mostly, where you are staying and how long, although others have asked about how we met.” She must of seen the look of concern cross my face. “Oh Turner, you do not have to worry so much. I kept our little adventure a secret. Although, I have made it clear to everypony that we are just friends in case you were wondering.”
“I suppose Minuette and Berry Punch asked you about that?”
“Why, yes, how did you know?”
I thought back to the conversations I just had, “Just a hunch. I suppose we’ll need another party for when Lucky Catch visits just so everypony can meet her as well.”
“Of course, darling,” Rarity said with a nod. “Pinkie Pie would love to arrange that; she does it all the time.” Rarity hovered a plate of cake over to me. “Here you go; it is your cake after all.”
I took the plate over to a table and spent a moment enjoying a slice of my cake. It seemed to be a mixture of vanilla, chocolate and strawberry combined into layers of flavour. The taste was so sweet that I could feel my teeth complaining.
“Hey, my hooves got all dancy,” Pinkie Pie said as she interrupted my taste test. “Did you want to throw a party for somepony else?”
The morning after the party I woke up with a pounding headache. It felt like there was sandpaper being run around the inside of my skull; probably caused by way too much sugar last night from the dozen things I had eaten at my party. A dull ache from my teeth seconded the motion while a glance at the clock reminded me of my dental appointment at eleven. I was probably going to need it now.
Making my way downstairs I found Rarity at the boutique entrance receiving a parcel. She bid the grey delivery mare good day as she signed for the package and placed it on the pile next to the door.
“Good morning, Turner.” she greeted me. Rarity’s cheeriness was at odds with the sugar induced hangover I was experiencing.
“Uuughhh, morning.”
The mare giggled at my pain. “You will have to learn to pace yourself at one of Pinkie’s parties, Turner.” Then she gestured at the pile of packages by the door, “Half a dozen ponies have already been here today to bring you gifts to welcome you to the town.”
“Really?” I asked as I started to look at the items in the pile. Every package was addressed to Time Turner and it looked like most of the guests from last night had sent something.
Rarity went through the pile drawing my attention to some of them. “A basket of apples from Applejack at Sweet Apple Acres; a box of sweets from Bon-Bon; a bottle of Fruit Punch from Berry Punch, I suggest you go easy on that one it’s probably alcoholic, and Mayor Mare sent a list of vacant houses in town if you decided to make your stay permanent.”
As Rarity finished, I began to go through the pile myself. I rarely received gifts, most ponies that knew me were clients and they almost always tried to forget about me as soon as I had done my job. I was genuinely touched. My life in Canterlot was quite lonely at times, and it was something I had used to want but the events of the last few days have given me more perspective.
I thought it all over for a few seconds. It wasn’t a hard decision. “Rarity, where’s that list of houses the mayor sent over?”
“Right here, why do you ask, Turner?” Rarity inquired.
“I think the Fundamental Harmony of the world has led me here. I’m suddenly happier than I’ve been in years with enough bits to buy a house and everypony apparently wants me to stay.”
Rarity gave me a friendly hug. “Welcome to Ponyville, Time Turner.”
Princess’s Luna’s Afterword:
Despite the low key nature of Time Turner’s work many of his actions have influenced Equestria and the ponies around him.
The arrest and subsequent sentencing of Noble Prize took only a single day, with her guilt proven by her foalish attempt to mortally wound Octavia in the presence of our sister. The former Donna was sentenced to imprisonment in exile in order to prevent her from receiving any assistance from her subordinates within Equestria.
Octavia and Vinyl Scratch have since returned to Canterlot. Time Turner’s deception has allowed the pair to work together publicly and both of them have been regularly hired to perform at major events.
Lucky Catch faced review by the board of the RAPS animal shelter for her role in the admission of a large amount of cats into the shelter in a single night under her authorization. However all penalties were waived on royal request with additional funding provided to ensure the lost cats were returned to their rightful homes. Catch regularly visits Time Turner, traveling between Canterlot and Ponyville whenever she has leave.
Rarity was saved the cost of Turner’s fee for locating Opalescence when the detective decided her generosity was payment enough. Rarity has since ordered most of her fabric through mail order, not wishing to lose Opalescence on another business trip again.
Time Turner is now living happily in a house just off Stirrup Street in Ponyville. He does not advertise his detective agency within the town and maintains a cover story of simply being in charge of keeping the local clocks in time. This position is a sinecure he arranged with the assistance of the Mayor, a job that includes little to no work and is an ideal position for the Detective who regularly works elsewhere.
Time Turner now arranges appointments by mail before traveling to meet clients at Café Noir in Canterlot. When not on contract Turner lives quietly in Ponyville, after a few months his Mystery Wall eventually expanded into a Mystery Room. An entire section of which is dedicated to Pinkie Pie.