Luna crumpled up the piece of paper and promptly ate it. Lyra stared in utter disbelief at the princess.
“Um, why did you just-”
Luna broke down into tears. “Sometimes, Celestia hits me, and I eat to solve all my problems. I’m such a fat whore, I know!”
Lyra slowly backed away. “Well, that escalated quickly.”
Luna immediately recovered for story convenience and got back on track. “Anyway, let’s go save Pewdiepony!”
“You know, we switch back and forth from ‘PewdiePIE and PiewdiePONY, it might confuse-” Luna hurled a potato into Lyra’s snout.
“Quiet woman! We must save Pewdiepie before it’s too late!”
“See, you did it again, now I think that’s-” A rubber chicken smashed into Lyra’s face.
“AGAIN, with the talking...”
Lyra gave Luna a hurt look. “Why do you do this to me, I mean I don’t-” Luna began sobbing again, embracing Lyra.
“I’m sorry! It’s just that back when I was dating Discord-”
“You dated Discord?”
“Foreshadowing. Anyway, Tia stole him away from me, then stole my lunch money!” Luna sobbed all over Lyra, soaking her in royal tears.
“Wait, that seems a bit out of character for Princess Celestia. She’s the benevolent and all caring Goddess, she wouldn’t-”
Luna clocked Lyra in the side of the head. “Stop speaking in gypsy riddles! We have to save Pewdiepony!”
***
Pewdiepie groggily awoke from his sleep to see a familiar orange-haired individual above him.
“McPixel?”
The pixelated hero grinned. “Damn right, Pewdie, and I’m here to save you!”
Pewdiepony’s face broke out into a wide grin. “Alright, McPixel, rescue me! Just untie the ropes, and we can get Stephano and leave this crazy place!”
McPixel nodded. “Ah yes... now, if my experience with this has taught me anything...” McPixel walked over to a conveniently placed beer, chugged it, and pissed all over Pewdie.
“GAH! MCPIXEL! WHAT THE HELL?”
The ropes slid effortlessly off of Pewdiepie.
“MCPIXEL!” 8-bit music began to play somewhere in the background, and McPixel danced around wildly. Pewdie shook himself off, and looked around for Stehano. He stopped him lying in a corner.
“Stephano, I’m coming for ya-” The door on the far end of the room opened up, and a dark suited man without a face stepped in. Pewdie heard static, and his vision went blurry as he stared at the man. Turning his head away from Slenderman, he levitated Stephano with his horn over to him.
“Stand back, I have a Stephano!” Slenderman payed no attention to this, and walked slowly over to Pewdiepie. His vision become blurrier and blurrier.
“I’ll save you!” McPixel threw himself in front of Slenderman, but missed and hit the wall. Slenderman slowly closed in on Stephano and Pewdiepie.
“Well, Stephano, we’re fucked. Any last things you want to say?”
“Well, Pewdie, I love you.”
Pewdiepie stared at the statue. “Um... that’s kinda gay.”
“What? No it’s not!”
“Yeah it is, Stephano.”
“What, a man can’t be sexually attracted to another man without being accused of being gay?”
Pewdie facehoofed. “Ughhh... Stephano...”
***
Luna and Lyra had come to a large cave with a pit of lava, the only way across being a rickety bridge.
“Well, it’s the only way across, let’s go.” Luna gave Lyra a “No Durr” look, and the two started across the extremely unsafe bridge.
Halfway across, footsteps were heard from either side, and bros surrounded the bridge. Brandishing their claws, they smiled their warped smiles and began to slice the ropes.
“Well, Luna, I guess this is it. Me and you, we’re going down together, it’s the only-” As the bros cut the ropes, and the bridge sent the two toppling down to the lava, Luna flapped her wings and kept herself afloat as Lyra continued to spiral down.
“CELESTIA DAMN YOU LUNA!” Lyra spiralled towards the lava.
Will Lyra survive? Will Luna stop being such a dick to her? Will Pewdie and Stephano escape from Slendy? Will McPixel find his sandwich? Will I ever get better at writing? Tune in next week to find out!