A certain purple dragon peered around an apple tree, nervous. Making sure the coast was clear, he rushed across the plain in the middle of the orchard and into the small building. Glancing out the crack of the door and seeing nopony, he sighed in relief.
"I can't believe we have to sneak around like this, Spike."
He turned, facing the upset white unicorn he had grown to love. He calmly smiled, gently placing his palm on her cheek. "I know it's a little unconventional, but..." He kissed her, soft and chaste on her lips. "...you're worth it, Sweetie."
She blushed, shifting closer and embracing him. Still, she frowned, thinking about what happened a few days earlier. "...I couldn't believe sis did that to you...where did she even get that limber of a branch?"
Spike winced, trying to suppress the memory that came with that thought. "...I don't know...I still can't believe I felt that through my scales..."
Sweetie sighed, gently resting her head on his shoulder, careful of her horn. "I don't get it. Why was she so mad that we were kissing?"
He shrugged his unoccupied shoulder, trying his best not to disturb her. "Maybe she was jealous?" He smirked, thinking that was funny.
She didn't think it was funny. In fact, she was seriously considering that idea. "...I don't think that's it. She has a coltfriend, and he comes over a few times a month." She giggled. "They always go to her room and play a game. It must require a lot of hard thinking, since she groans every single time!"
His face blanched, his eye twitching slightly at the thought. "...sure..." He pulled a small, soft-bristled brush off of a nearby dresser, carefully bringing it through the filly's hair. He didn't know why, but this brought them both a sense of peace. "Let's just forget about her for now. It's just you and me...let's enjoy this while it lasts."
She only gave a small sigh and a blissful smile in response.
Meanwhile, at Carousel Boutique, the aforementioned pony sneezed twice.
The light blue stallion across from her paused, a concerned look on his face. "Are you okay, Rarity?"
She waved a hoof, laughing nervously. "It's nothing, darling. Now," she gazed at him with lidded eyes, leaning closer, "do continue."
He held her gaze for a while longer. Then, with a shrug, he moved his bishop into place, grinning cheekily. "Checkmate."
She groaned softly, resting her head on a forehoof. "Good game, dear." She got up, carefully putting the glass pieces back into their box.
He stood as well, stretching his wings. "You're getting better, Rarity. It took me four more moves to beat you this time."
She glanced at him, azure eyes catching emerald. Smiling coyly, she climbed onto her bed, flicking her tail playfully. "Come get your reward, big boy."
He didn't need to be asked twice. He climbed up just as Rarity opened the box with two perfect slices of apple pie.
Vinyl blinked, finding herself inside town hall. While this, in itself, wasn't odd, the fact the building was otherwise empty of ponies was. She looked around, confused and curious. "...where is everypony?"
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!
Vinyl leapt in surprise, rushing over to a window and peering outside before the voice finished speaking. There, she saw herself, a unicorn - Thank Luna! - behind her turntable and, on either side of her on the large stage, an earth pony stood, ready to rap. She couldn't help but notice a minor mistake her other self made. Note to self: make sure to check teeth in mirror before performing. She was broken out of her thoughts as her doppelgänger continued.
V-
I gotta flatten this mare!
I'm a carrot farmer baby; growing greens
I'm certainly Ponyville's farming queen
While you're kicking trees, I'm doing real work.
Trying to outdo me? You're a real jerk!
I sell the veggies that ponies love to eat.
Your apples will just fall in defeat!
Claiming you're better is ironic in my eyes -
The Element of Honesty, telling complete lies.
What th' hay, Golden?! Are ya pushin' yer wares?
Are ya really that bad, or completely unprepared?
Besides, our apples are clearly up on top.
Ya use yer carrots when ya feel tha need ta clop!
Filly, mah apples are mighty pleasin'.
Yer a ripe tree an' it's Applebuck Season!
Ya can sell all kindsa food, but it'll be fer naught.
Mah proof? It's shot. Mah hoof - yer plot!
You like to claim that your product is undoubtedly the best.
If that's the case, then care to explain why you're drowning in debts?
Harvest, yer sellin' ponies sticks that've been underground.
Even rabbits won't touch them; how does that sound?
Everypony knows carrots are better than apples!
Yet mah profits are higher than yers can contest.
Don't you know the risk of finding a worm in an apple?
And carrots are pulled from where the worms nest.
You have to throw out the core of an apple!
Or just eat it; that part's the best.
You can never, ever go right with an apple!
My family's food is superior to the rest.
Let's talk about families - I got some news.
I've had an Apple; he's related to you.
I had more to say, but I've got a field to tend.
Unlike your brother, I couldn't fit it all in!
Now listen here, missy, ya've gone too far!
Ah'd like ta end this, but Ah still don't know who ya are!
Carrot Top? Golden Harvest? What's yer name, anyway?
Ah only see ya in the background, never savin' the day.
Ah'm the Element of Honesty, taking a stand!
At least three times Ah've helped save the land!
All of your nonsense; Ah'm tired of it, slacker.
Leave, 'fore Ah bring a Sweet Apple Massacre!
Silly pony, I can't let you do that.
Take a look at your family -
So much inbreeding, it's a pain to see.
I've got more business than you can even hope.
I won't be ensnared by your silly rope.
I'm pouring my drinks for all to enjoy.
Your lack of experience leaves me annoyed.
I'm bringing out the glasses -
All the ponies are ecstatic.
You can't match what's in my attic.
Better calm down before you cause a panic!
Your cider just doesn't do it for me
So go ahead, do your work poorly.
The Flim-Flam Brothers may have lost to you,
But I'm ready, Jackie - whatcha gonna do?
Say I'm a drunk and slur my words -
I still leave ponies' cravings curbed.
I propose a toast to me that I have earned.
See you later, page -
I've got fine wines to age.
WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!
Vinyl sat there, staring at the stage in mild annoyance. "...if I didn't know better, I'd think this was some attempt by Enigma to make a dumb joke." She chuckled, shaking her head. "I'm glad I know better." Finally, she felt that familiar tugging sensation and was whisked away, silently hoping that this leap would be the leap home. Also, would it kill this force to let me have something to eat!?
Fluttershy sat in the market, holding a board up as a familiar pink pony hammered the nails in. She smiled softly, glancing over at the other workspace.
There, a blue unicorn and a yellow filly were working on a similar project, the ex-showmare building the bed of the cart while the Crusader shaped the wheels.
At that moment, the bell-tower tolled noon. Everypony got up and, after a quick stretch, head over to Sugar Cube Corner for a bite to eat. Fluttershy could almost see the visions of sugar plums and brownies dancing in the heads of her friends. She giggled softly, following them through the door...and bumping into the pink mare, who was hovering in mid-air. Confused, she looked over the earth pony's shoulder and at the strange sight greeting them.
There, seated around a table, was an orange mare, seated across from and glaring at a yellow mare. On the surface of their table sat a piece of paper and a quill.
On the opposite side of the table from the viewers sat a large red stallion, a cyan mare sidled up right next to him. They were shifting their gazes almost constantly from one irked pony to the other, fairly certain they shouldn't say anything. The tension hung in the air, almost too thick to cut through.
That is, until a certain unicorn spoke up. "What are they doing?"
The tangerine mare sighed, tilting her Stetson over her eyes and waving in the general direction of the paper on the table. "We made a deal. Whoever loses has ta sign this thing."
At that, the ex-showmare brought it to her face, reading it carefully. A frown formed on her lips. "...you didn't read this, did you?"
Applejack shifted slightly in her seat, a blush peeking out from under the edges of her hat. "...well...no..."
Trixie raised an eyebrow, floating the paper over to Fluttershy. "It says that Applejack 'admits her burning desire for Princess Luna', and that Golden Harvest 'deeply regrets her decision to dump Big Macintosh and aches for him with every fiber of her being'."
The mares in question stared at her, stunned. They turned to the timid pegasus, eyes wide, though it was the orange-maned pony who spoke. "...please don't tell me that's what it says."
Fluttershy squeaked, hiding behind her mane. "...o-okay..."
There was a full ten seconds of silence before the cowpony spoke up once more. "Well, sugarcube? What does it say?"
She opened her mouth slightly, hesitantly, before averting her gaze to the floor. "...s-she told me not to tell her..."
At this, both of them rounded on the cyan mare, who was apparently trying to hide in the stallion's embrace. "What th' hay, Rainbow!?" There was no embarrassment here - just pure, unadulterated rage.
She grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head. "...it was just a joke?"
Applejack smacked her with her hat before turning to her long-time rival. "Let's figure out th' details later."
The gardener nodded, turning to the yellow pegasus. "So who won?"
The timid mare carefully pulled Vinyl's phone out of her bag, unlocking it and swiftly navigating the menus with her feathers. Having counted the votes (and pausing to wonder just who 'Gordon Freemane' was), she turned to the two, trying to put on a smile that wasn't filled with nervousness. She failed. "...um...Applejack won...seventy-two to fifteen...I'm sorry..."
At this, the two rivals stood, walking out the door. As they left, everyone inside could hear a few words: "Ya better be ready ta work hard, Golden."
"My name is Carrot Top. Get it right, Jaquelin."
After they were out of earshot (and their taunts faded), Fluttershy turned to her best friend, smiling softly. "...so...you and Big Mac?"
They looked at each other, a dreamy look on their face and, if anypony had thought to look, their tails entwined. They gave a small nod and nuzzled each other's nose, much to the chagrin of the yellow filly watching.
With the strange situation gone, the floating earth pony turned to Fluttershy, a dopey, yet somehow cute, smile on her face. "So what do you want to eat, Braveheart?"
As soon as that word left the mare's mouth, the timid mare's pupils shrank until they almost vanished. She glanced at Rainbow, who had begun tapping her hoof to her chin.
"...Braveheart? Why does that name sound famili-"
"I gotta go!" With an uncharacteristic burst of speed, Fluttershy flew out of the sweet shop, leaving behind four confused mares and a stoic stallion (who was just as confused on the inside).
The little filly looked up at Trixie. "...didn't she want ta stay fer lunch?"
The majority of the 'Homage Rap Battle's lyrics were done by SuperChaosKG and RLYoshi, since stuff is being done for college and the next official rap battle by me (and some others). And yes, it is a homage to 'Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates'. Please don't be mad; I thought it would be funny, and I sorta Pinkie Promised I'd do this. ^^;
Now, in order for the videos I'm trying to do to work, I'll need people to audition for the rap battles. So far, I've only received one audition, and it was for Featherweight. If a lack of a way to get it to me is a problem, then send me a PM, and I'll give you my e-mail address so you can send the audition to me. We'd really appreciate it. ^w^
Oh, and comment number 3600 gets the chance to see who all are in the queue.
"How many of you follow 'Know Your Mare'? I got E put on it as a guest in an upcoming chapter!"
...you did what now? o_o
"Be sure to watch for that! Have a nice day!"
... *sigh* Enigma out.