//------------------------------// // Chapter 1:Nope // Story: When Lacking Responsibility or how one moron's power leads to ruin: Rewritten. // by WrathOfGod519 //------------------------------// Heads up: Any text in 'Inner Speech' format is inner dialogue. He was getting pretty sick of trees, having so far been traveling through the forest for a good two and a half hours. By now he'd regained the ability to walk at least somewhat and wasn't staggering nearly as much, although he had gained a few bruises and a small gash had appeared on his snout (which felt incredibly weird). The forest was becoming somewhat lighter now, there were less tree's blocking out the sun and sunbeams pierced the canopy, lighting his path with patches of light, left and right Bird calls were the only source of sound coming from every direction. Right now Mark was pretty relaxed, as relaxed as one in his situation could have possibly been. Walking had always calmed him, it was peaceful and gave him time to just let his mind wander and relax, to think over his problems and contemplate life. *wack* Again his tail smacked another branch, he had very little control over the thing and it seemed to have a mind of its own. Not that it bothered Mark, It flicked to the side and seemed to move chaotically, 'This thing is awesome', he loved the damn thing. It honestly fascinated him to no end, 'I could use it as a weapon or something, whip bitches in da face!', oh yes he adored it. Speaking of which, he had sharp teeth, didn't that mean he ate meat exclusively now? while that didn't change anything from his previous life, he doubted he could visit a McDonald's or burger king in this place, he briefly wondered if they would have McDonald's in heaven/hell. He'd probably have to start killing deer or something to survive, at least something good came of this whole escapade. That and the tail, it was fucking awesome. 'Now, how would I make a fire? Maybe I'll just have to eat the thing raw?', he didn't have anything to make a fire with, so he supposed he'd have to kill and eat things raw, hey animals did it all the time and he was no longer human, the idea actually sounded somewhat appealing to him. He was actually getting pretty hungry right about now, the thought of big-mac's got him thinking about other people, were there people here, would they be like him or just view him as a monster. Perhaps they would be transformed into things as well. "Thank god finally, thought this forest would never end!", up ahead the trees and foliage suddenly cut off revealing bright pastures of lush green grass, at the center of the glade a large oak tree stood, the landscape seemed wrong somehow. Small patches of densely packed tree's grew out in the distance spaced away from each other, between them it was just hilly grass, no shrubs or bushes or anything of the sort, just clean expanses of grass on top of small bumpy hills. It just seemed pretty unnatural to Mark. What was really weird was that in the distance impossible hills rose up into the sky in such a way that it would never form naturally. 'The hell is with those mountains?, grass shouldn't be growing vertically like that, almost reminds me of MLP' of course that was impossible, preposterous even. Deciding his quest for civilization was not going to be advanced by admiring the strange country side, he once again set off, with absolutely no idea where he was going but with a semi-coherent goal in mind. 'Hopefully they have mc'nuggets here' Find a fast food restaurant. Fluttershy Stared at the packages uncomfortably, she had a dilemma. Already she had already fed the animals, of which she all knew by name, their favorite grain last week. But she didn't want to bore them with the same old food day in day out, so to stop them getting sick of the taste she had opted to buy another feed from the store, only problem is that Angel hated this kind. She had too choices, give them the same grain as last week and risk them becoming sick of it or make poor Angel suffer. Speaking of which the impatient bunny sat nearby her and was hammering his foot against the floor impatiently. "Oh, One moment Angel", and just like that the pressure was on her, on one hand animals had feelings (they were people too, at least according to Fluttershy), she'd hate to be fed the same food everyday for the rest of her life, so why should she subject her animal friends to the same treatment. On the other hand poor Angel hated the other feed. Smiling she discovered a solution, Fluttershy give angle his own tray of his favorite food to make sure he was happy and fed the other animals separately. Once again all was happy, and the humanitarian crisis had been averted, at least that was until an angry squeak stole her attention. "What's wrong Angel, is something the matter?" she asked tentatively, The rabbit simply pointed at his food with a cross expression on his face. Gingerly, she moved her muzzle towards the feed only to gasp upon touching it. It was damp, somehow the animal feed had become slightly damp and mushy overnight. Poor Angel couldn't eat this, he only ate solid crunchy food, how could she not have checked first. tap tap tap Fluttershy's thought was interrupted by the impatient little rodent, he clearly wanted fed and now! "oh, um.. I'm really sorry angel but we're all out of 'green pastures' if you want I could-" she was cut off as the rabbit slapped her, it didn't hurt at all but it got the point across. "oh.. right um... I'm just go get some more from the grocery store... and remember that talk we had about hitting mommy, it's really not very nice and I'd appreciate it if you could um... stop it please" Angel for his part at least tried to look apologetic even though he had his arms crossed. Trotting over to the door, Fluttershy donned her saddlebags and prepared to set off towards the market, despite how much she disliked the fact that she'd have to go out in public and interact with ponies who were practically strangers. "Mommy won't be gone long, she'll be right back.. so um.. be good while I'm gone". She opened to door and slowly closed it, careful not to make any sound. Turning away from her house she began to walk forward and promptly stopped when she came face to face with a very strange looking creature which was just outside her garden. The animal froze instantly and locked it's gaze upon her, seemingly sizing her up. Neither moved. The thing looked daunting, with it's sharp claws and teeth, obviously a predator, but Fluttershy wasn't scared in the slightest as she knew animals just needed some tender love and care to become friends for life. She couldn't wait to befriend the thing in front of her, after all, animals weren't bad, no matter how nasty they may look, she knew that even the largest and most fearsome of beasts would become loving pets if treated properly with kindness and compassion. She took a small step forward and cooed softly, "it's ok, don't be afraid, I won't hurt you...". The thing had the most incredulous and nonplussed look on it's face as it turned it's head to the side. Fluttershy took another slow step forward, moving forward fluenlty and confidently as the creature wasn't showing any signs of aggression. What happened next made he gasp. "what..." It spoke, it was a he not an it, suddenly those claws and teeth looked a whole lot more threatening and she let loose a small squeak. Animals weren't dangerous, but sentient beings were unpredictable, they could be bad or good, and the individual in front of her looked monstrous, of course he was a predator, so any sentient creature that goes out and kills innocents for food had to be evil. It let loose what appeared to be a diabolical laugh that made Fluttershy cringe and fear for her life, her wings locked up and she crouched close to the ground. "HA... ha ha- nope!" it took a step back. "Nope, nope Nooooope!" it started backpedaling and then turned around completely and proceeded to wander off in the opposite direction while constantly saying "nope!" nonstop in an almost casual way. Back with our intrepid young hero: "Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope nope, nooooooope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nooope, nope, nope, nope, noope, nope" what he had seen was so insane and impossible that his mind could not even begin to process it, instead, he just went back the way he came. By now he was a fair way away from the cottage and nearing the middle of the glade he passed earlier, with a finial "nope" he collapsed against the large oak tree and held his head in his hands where he stayed for the next 5 minuets. He took a deep breath, lifted his head up to the sky and spoke in a calm voice, "ok what the fuck, what the fuck is goin on, are you there god? I'm sorry I called your religion retarded, but at the time there wasn't any proof an-" he stopped. Good god, was he really reduced to this? *sigh*. He had nothing, no idea what was going on. "OK, so, lets recap, I'm some kind of dragon thing stuck in the My Little Pony universe... I woke up in a fukin forest, and I scared Fluttershy apparently...". "...Words cannot describe the levels of fuck I am experiencing right now". Well at least he had a large and extensive knowledge of the world he lived in now, he probably knew more about the MLP universe then real life, which he thought was kinda sad. But incredibly convenient at least. This entire situation was messed up, he was in a cartoon now apparently, didn't look like a cartoon to him but it was. What was real and what wasn't, was this some kind of dying hallucination? One thing was for sure, there was absolutely no reasonable explanation for this, it was madness. He didn't know what to think anymore, so he just accepted reality as it was, so now that he lived in a word full of fucking colorful ponies, how was he going to live, did they even approve of carnivore's? Ok first he'd need befriend the mane six, then... then what? he didn't know. Perhaps he'd be allowed to live outside of town as a hermit, perhaps he'd need to find work later on to pay for food and goods ect. What he really did need right now however was a good drink, to just get really fucked up wasted and forget this entire thing ever happened. Of course since this was officially kids show he doubted alcohol even existed here, too bad he couldn't snap his fingers and have a bottle appear out of thin air. Wait, it suddenly dawned, he was some kind of mismatched creature, and the only other one like him was Discord, a draconequus. Was it unreasonable to assume he was also one, 'Fuck, I've seen his fair share of schitt today, so why not'. Considering he was in a cartoon it almost seemed likely. Standing up he snapped his fingers "Annnd, Smirnoff!", Absolutely fucking nothing happened. Maybe he'd have to be more specific, or have a clear idea of what he wanted visualized. He looked down at the grass and imagined there to be a bottle of southern comfort sitting on the floor. He stared for ten seconds, 'oh thats right I forgot the snap' He tried again but with Smirnoff. *Click* "Mother of god" there on the floor was a bottle of Smirnoff, sitting in all it's mind rotting glory. It almost brought a tear to his eye's, but that wasn't what was on Mark's mind at the moment, he had just willed something into existence, he had powers. "my god... I've got HAX!", throwing his hands up in the air and beginning to laugh in an insane manor, he spun around and began jumping with pure joyful euphoria, he couldn't remember a time he'd been this happy. He just found out he could do anything. 'Well according to what discord could do anyway'. Would he also live forever? With a big shit eating grin on his face, he reached down and grabbed the bottle of Smirnoff, twisted off the cap and- it was empty, "The fuck?", he looked inside to find there wasn't even a drop to behold, 'of course' he thought sarcastically, he stood around for 3 seconds disappointed before he realized he should have imagined it full of Smirnoff, he did so and clicked his fingers. it was now full. "Sweeeeet"... Wait, this was probably a bad idea, he shouldn't just down a whole bottle of this stuff while in his current situation, it could end with him encased in stone or something... on the other hand, he was pretty stressed out right now, perhaps just a bit to take the edge off. "THE HORROR, THE HORROR", panicked screams of mares gripped the streets as a wasted Mark staggered through them, laughing and mumbling about crazy talking horses. An almost empty bottle clasped in his claw being waved around randomly as he tried desperately to keep his non-existent balance. Pandemonium filled the streets, everypony was screaming and as he neared one mare simply passed out, the fear was to much for her apparently. Cries of "Monster" and "attacking" reached his ears and he looked around. "whoa.. cool, whera!?!". then he tripped over the unconscious mare, landing in an undignified heap. He didn't get back up, he just lay there and laughed hysterically, after which he finished the last of his beverage, having reached the point where didn't even burn his throat. He was pretty fucked up. After a good two minuets of drunkenly admiring the dirt, he attempted to get back up but fell over not seconds later. Seems he was stuck there. He didn't care at all. Meanwhile the streets were now empty and an eerie silence filled the air, for a while, nothing happened except for a few incomprehensible ramblings from Mark. Then a rainbow maned Pegasus came barreling out of the sky and landed aggressively in front of where Mark lay. She didn't really know what to make of the large creature other then that he was apparently attacking the town earlier, just the thought riled her up. getting into a fighting stance she snarled "Hey pal, get up so I can fight you". "wha..ho ainow dsh tis is fukin crazy" she didn't understand a word he just said so she kicked the thing. it didn't garner any noticeable reaction. "Are you deaf, nobody messes with my town while I'm around" she shouted angrily. "and get your stupid feet off Lilly!" she gestured to the unconscious pony. "..." he didn't respond. instead he stretched slightly and looked over at a nearby building apparently having lost interest. "Hey buddy, get outta here!" "nnnnooooo" he slurred, laughing stupidly afterwards. This thing was really starting to irritate her now, it attacked the town and then just lies there as if to mock her, "listen wise guy, ima give you to the count of three before I start a beatdown, one... two..-" "WAIT!" she was cut off when an out of breath Twilight sparkle galloped over. She stood next to rainbow dash and looked at the creature with an curious expression, not quite knowing what to make of him. "I'm sure there's just been a simple misunderstanding here", she gasped still regaining her breath. "But twilight, look at this monster, he's all messed up, and he has sharp teeth!". "Rainbow dash, this is just like situation with Zecora, I'm sure he means us no harm" Dash huffed. "Ahem* sir... are you ok, my friend didn't hurt you did she?". Dash pouted. "ur on crsy takin horse twilot, haha, oh god ths is awsum", his head lolled to the side. "Dear Celestia, he's delusional!, he must be really sick, come on rainbow dash we have to help him!" she now wore a concerned face as Dash reluctently agreed to drag the creature back to the library, when asked why they didn't drag it to the hospital she replied they'd have no idea how to treat such a thing and would probably do more harm then good, instead an answer may lie in one of her books as to what ailed the unfortunate creature. The door to the library opened and an out of breath Twilight followed by a bored looking dash trudged in, carrying a rambling creature on their backs, his lower body and feet dragging along the ground. "Hey Twilight I got that book you order- what the heck is that!". "No time to explain spike, this creature is sick and needs help". They deposited the creature on the floor a ways from the door. "OK seriously, what is it?" Spike asked bewildered. "Not now spike, he's showing some really distressing signs, OK lets see, creature is showing signs of ataxia, loss of coordination, slurred speech, impaired cognition, redness of eye's, I've never seen this type of thing before, he could b having some kind of stroke or-" "ACTUALLY , maybe he's just wasted ya'know, I mean I can smell the booze on him" interrupted rainbow dash causally. "Yea..... or that". Mark had passed out by this point.