//------------------------------// // The Second Day // Story: Me and My Lord of Chaos // by Abryssle //------------------------------// I awoke slowly, and almost immediately, I noticed that Discord was gone. I lay there on top of the bed for a while, just to let my senses return to operational condition. Not like I needed to go looking for him. He seemed at minimum insistent on keeping me around. Plus, I was in the Everfree Forest, and now alone, which made following him something of a non-option. I lifted myself slowly from the bed. I'd never put the covers on, or taken my clothes off--which, on that note, had acquired the subtle odor clothes got after getting worn for a night. I'd have to clean them, eventually, if I was going to keep clothed. I wondered where Discord had gone. I'd only said he couldn't do anything to any pony, which wouldn't technically have prevented him from just going out to Ponyville or Canterlot or any other city and declaring his return. I could see him doing that, despite how inconvenient my restriction would make being publicly known be. On the other hand, of course, it wasn't like he could really be hurt by the ponies, either, so... He'd go out just to taunt them? Yeah, maybe. My thoughts rested a moment. Or maybe he went to get food... But he can summon it out of nothing, so that doesn't really make sense. Minutes passed, and I became increasingly restless. I was one of those types that hated doing nothing; What I normally "did" never really accomplished much, but still, it was something. Even just watching random stuff online still had more value and purpose than sitting here on a bed in the middle of a jungle. Already, I missed my computer and its access to the unlimited immediate entertainment of the internet. For that matter, having my younger brother around to chat with wouldn't have hurt, either. What reason would Discord even have to leave for hours? For that matter, did he sleep? How long was he just laying near me, awake? When did he leave? My restlessness started to become nervousness, and I felt that nervousness begin to clutch at my heart. "Discord?" I said questioningly into the distance, still externally calm. "Yes?" Discord's voice said out of the air. I relaxed, in spite of myself. "...You there?" Discord's body appeared from the bottom up, leaning against one of the trees at the edge of his cleared circle. It was like he was lifting a wall in front of him that had blocked him from sight. Without moving. "Presuming we're thinking of the same there, yes." "Why were you leaning on a tree ten feet away while invisible?" I asked. "I wanted to see what you'd do. I expected more talking to yourself, to be completely honest. Oh well." He popped over to besides the bed in a flash of light. "So, what now?" I took a moment to respond. Partially to get over the fact that he'd just hidden ten feet away from me for amusement, instead of doing anything i'd considered. "In terms of overall plan, or like this second?" "Well, this second comes first, obviously, but also whatever we want to do about the whole pony matter. You did just sort of introduce yourself and then leave mid-conversation with the element of Magic." I started to formulate a response to the second matter, lacking any input on last second, but my body conveniently sent a very strong feeling of hunger to my mind. Which gave me something to say about the second. Convenient. "We should eat something," I said. "What did you have in mind?" Discord asked. "I dunno. Bacon?" Discord smiled. "Sure." He snapped, and instantly, a plate full of bacon appeared on the bed. That made me smile, I admit. Instant bacon. I reached to grab a strip, but withdrew my hand on encountering substantial heat still lingering on the tasty meat strips. It's like it just came from a pan!... Discord's hand darted in and snatched a strip in between the tips of his talons, before tossing it up and into his mouth with an artful flick. He caught it well, about half sticking vertically up into the air, the other half in his mouth. The heat didn't seem to bother him, and he quickly devoured the rest of the strip. He grabbed another almost immediately, but ate it more calmly. Just lifting it up to his mouth and taking off small bites. "Is it a bit hot?" "Nah, it's good," I said back immediately. "I mean, hot bacon in bed. Like. Thanks." I reached out and took a strip--they were cooling fairly quickly, thin as bacon is. I took a bite. It was damn good magically-generated bacon, as could be expected. I pondered for a moment if bacon was something that would even be legal in Equestrian society. Even if it was, it couldn't be a common thing. Maybe I should just reveal myself alongside Discord. Try and play a, "he's harmless!" angle, my thoughts went as I munched on my bacon. 'Cause i'm not losing this. "So," Discord said, breaking off a strip in his mouth before continuing. "You still want subtlety, I presume?" "I'm not sure," I said. "I mean, really, I don't know if it'll matter when you reveal yourself. More what you do." I ate another piece of bacon. Between the two of us, the plate wouldn't last much longer. "Well, the likelihood of me getting along with the ponies seems minimal, to be honest," Discord said with a light tone of sarcasm in his voice. "Still. It's not like they can hurt you. You're almost invincible." Discord smirked. "True." He teleported over to the opposite side of the bed for no reason I could discern. "So, the plan is we just arrive in plain sight, and I block any attacks thrown our way. Or dodge them, in the case of the elements." "...Maybe?" I said. I grabbed another piece of bacon. "I don't really know. That sounds incredibly stupid said aloud." "Ah, it'll be fun. Let's do that." I didn't have a better plan for the moment, so I just shrugged and ate what I suspected would be my last piece of bacon. Discord smiled, grabbed what was left of the bacon (around 8 strips), and promptly ate it all. He didn't even really seem to chew much, but it was all gone, and he didn't seem to be choking. In a fluid motion, he grabbed the plate and threw it frisbee style behind him. It shattered against a tree. I winced. He didn't look. "Excellent," he said, and then he snapped. My eyes widened as the light came, and then darkness, and then... I glanced around. Yep. Ponyville. We were drawing eyes, understandably. I was an alien, and Discord was a huge serpentine monster who many of the populace had been traumatized by just.... some time ago. When exactly we'd arrived in the Equestrian timeline wasn't really that clear. I felt myself shrinking under their eyes, and now I had no cloak to hide in. Discord was simply smiling, as per usual. To my surprise, he started walking forwards. Just walking, on his plain hindlegs. It was the first time he'd done that. He glanced back at me and smirked. "Well, come on, Aaron. We have a town to sink into anarchy." And then he turned around and kept casually strolling in a seemingly random direction. I jogged to catch up, and then joined him in strolling. I had no idea where we were going, though my guess was on "nowhere." "Do we really have to? I mean..." "Indeed we do," Discord responded, a cheer in his voice. "It's discord that keeps order at bay." "I don't know what's so bad about order," I said back. "That's easy," he said, pointing a single digit into the air for emphasis. "Order tends to punish the most vulnerable. Chaos? Not so much. Chaos just does stuff. And it's normally way funnier stuff, too." I would have liked to argue back, but that made sense. And, at least from my own, rather negative self-perception, it made chaos the side i'd logically support. I wonder if they have pins for that. Like. "Chaos supporter," on a pin. "I guess. Still." Discord chuckled at my weak persistence. "Your astoundingly stubborn curiosity does seem to like the subject, I must say." I nodded in response. It was true. The slowly decaying remains of my morality just kept fighting the notion of absolute chaos, which, fair or not, still in simple terms fucked shit up. It likely wasn't helpful that I was actually coming to dread seeing any recognizable pony, especially the main cast of the show. I was anticipating seeing the mane six, lurking in wait. I wasn't quite sure why that image was coming to mind, the six of them springing out from behind some corner like they'd been waiting in ambush for me and Discord, as if somepony who'd seen us had just kind of gone over to one of their homes and gone like, "Hey, there's like, this thing, and, uh, you should deal with it," and they'd secretly gathered. And then located us and hid appropriately down along our path. Which was, of course, stupid. Really, in-show, looking back, they'd had rather convenient villains, in terms of being able to gather and respond. Discord hadn't even really been attacking them, and Nightmare's efforts were at most playing, besides destroying a cliff. I mean. A thorn in a paw. Really. Cutting off a mustache. Really? The group had always been gathered beforehand, and had the elements ready and then had their confrontation. Really, tactically speaking, especially with Discord in tow, I could destroy any chance they'd even have of attacking. Our shitty plan is functional. Discord's too fast, and possibly now too furious, for them to take on. And then, for a moment, I felt the instinct to just put a clawed hand in front of my face and laugh maniacally. I held it in, though. Barely. "Are you thinking about anything?" Discord said. "Just... if you're gonna refuse to be peaceful, could we stop conflict? Make the chaos stuff easier?" I said. Discord paused mid-stride, and put a hand to his chin thoughtfully. "What are you thinking? I do so value creative input." "Well... just steal the elements. Like. No game. Just steal them." I felt a pang of guilt at the suggestion. Just vocalizing it felt... wrong. Even though it made complete sense, and might have been key to my safety as a... friend, of an enemy of the monarchy. Discord's red eyes widened for a moment, and then, suddenly, shrunk to smaller than they'd been before. I became distracted during this time by the fact that his beard appeared to be stroking itself. "Hmm..." He said. "It would take some of the fun out of the invasion, and that is a high point of any good conflict... But, on the other hand, their desperation would be funny." I had another spark of inspiration, and even as my guilt made an agitated "no go," gesture and furiously shook its head, it slipped out. Helped by my fear of potentially being the first human, not really evil test subject of a harmonious strike. "Just take one, actually. Take magic. It'll mess with them." Discord smiled wide, and looked at me with an odd, childish light in his eyes. "Oooooh... that's quite lovely, actually. I like it." "...Yeah," I said. And then I heard her yell. "Discord!" Both me and Discord glanced off to our right, and I saw a pink blur charging over. "And... Ooh, who are you? What are you, for that matter, because i've never seen a creature that looked quite like you before!" I felt an odd dread rise into my chest. Discord just seemed amused. Pinkie evidently noticed neither. "So, Discord, are you gonna make chocolate rain again, because I know Twilight's gonna make me come and try and get you back as a statue--you made a cool statue by the way--but I really, really like chocolate rain, so I want to enjoy it as long as possible before we all come back and seal you back up!" She paused, tilting her head quizzically. "Not sure why we have to seal you up. I mean, chocolate rain! How could that be bad?" "The idea seems kind of dull now, really," Discord said. "Aw, really?" Pinkie said with a disappointed expression. Then she looked back to me, excitement returning to her face as she did so. "Well then, I guess i'll have to just have some at your welcome party! Normally we'd do that right now, but..." She leaned in toward me and turned her head away from Discord. "He's around, and when he's around, everypony's all panicky and "AUGH," and that's no attitude to have them be in at a welcoming party!" I headed back to my default blank stare option. Discord just looked vaguely bemused. Neither of us did anything for a moment. Pinkie looked between us, and then smiled and started bouncing away. "Where are you going?" I called out instinctively. "I'm going to go get Twilight and the others, silly!" She said as she glanced back for a moment. Her bouncing didn't stop as she did this, and she continued doing it after. I watched for a moment. "So," Discord said. "Onward to stealing Magic, then?" I silenced the guilty voice that rose up at him saying it, and just nodded. "Yup." We emerged from the darkness of teleportation in what I immediately guessed was Canterlot's central castle. The white, well-crafted pillars of stone and high ceilings gave it away, as did the two royal guards standing to either side of the large, decorative door guarding the elements with barely subdued surprise decorating their faces. One's mouth dropped open a little. Shortly after, each shifted back to serious, flat faces, instantly flaring their wings to appear larger. Apparently, they were going to hold to their duty. Against an unrecognized alien and a several-meter tall Draconequus. Good guards. "Halt! Who goes there!" One called. Despite my height in contrast to both guards, I felt a chill. It was intimidating, seeing their faces set in stone harshness, approaching with a slow, purposeful stride. Discord clapped his hands together. "Permission to act?" I glanced over. He raised an eyebrow. "Bend the no-touching rule," he added for clarification. I thought a moment, and then looked at the guards, both of whom had paused, expressions wavering. Apparently they were afraid of Discord. Which, really, was completely reasonable. You have to get past them somehow, my fear whispered seductively. And then I was seduced. It was apparently a fairly obvious vulnerability of my character, being easily seduced. "I guess. But don't hurt them." Discord spoke with a quiet, intense thrill, twirling his hands about. "Excellent." The guards took off, but in an instant, one fell back onto the floor wingless and the other turned about and wheeled on his former comrade and angrily yelled "Criminal!" before diving onto him and striking away. I flinched at each hit. Discord whistled as he walked past them--fighting just to the right of the central path of the hall--and stuck his finger into the hole of the door. "Stop the fighting!" I yelled over to him. I'd meant to whisper, but it certainly didn't come out that way. He glanced back, just for a second, and his whistling stopped. He snapped. Both guards were instantly restrained by ropes around their legs, though the aggressive one was still flailing about on top of the other one. The wingless one underneath started protesting loudly, which I tried my best to ignore. One, it looked really silly, and two, vaguely erotic. Or maybe it was just me. No, it was definitely just me, actually. I walked over to the door, where Discord had resumed whistling and was twiddling his finger about in what I was pretty sure was a magical lock. The door opened anyways, though it didn't have the massive blue glow Celestia properly opening it had given it, so instead of looking all epic and magical, it was just sort of a room with a box in it. Discord strolled in, deftly opened it, took out the tiara, closed it, and walked back out. "Well, we're done here," he said casually, hitting the wall besides the door with a backwards flick of a fist. Both sides slid shut. His gaze shifted down to the guards. As it was, the top one was fiercely trying to nip at the other's nose, who was for obvious reasons still offering significant protest. "Hold this," he said, and then put the tiara on my head. It was too small, but it sat there, and I just awkwardly tried to keep it balanced there. Discord kept moving. "Now, for these two..." He flicked both arms up. It looked vaguely like the gesture of a composer. They separated as they hovered up into the air, veering left and right in their upward drifts. The aggressive one kept snapping at the other. The other stallion, though likely terrified shitless, looked mostly relieved. My conscience wanted to whine again, but honestly, it looked rather... cool. Theatrical. Movie-villain type stuff. "As I can't kill you, i'm simply going to remind each of you-" He looked over at the snarling, and now cursing, stallion. "Aaron, could you get that guy to focus? This is going to be hard with him being all crazy." "You made him that way! How would I even help him?" Discord shrugged in response. "Fair enough. Anyways, though, this will look awfully bad for both of you two-" he turned to the guards. "-if you don't just get back to duty, won't it? And you're not to blame. It would be shameful if innocents like you suffered just because you were hopelessly outmatched..." The stallion on the right had grown calm, staring forwards with a dull look in his eyes. His eyes had also turned into multiple, outwards-moving colored rings, so I was fairly sure that he'd been hypnotized. Discord and I looked in tandem over to the other guy. The other guy released several choice expletives. Discord swiftly touched a finger to his forehead and just force hypnotized him. "Return to guarding your door, you never saw us, blah blah blah, so long!" Discord said, and then snapped. I expected the darkness. I got it. And so we were back in Ponyville, only now I had an undersized jeweled tiara on my head. Though, really, it wasn't that undersized; ponies had massive heads in contrast to their bodies. I took it off, looking at it for a few seconds in admiration of its craftsmanship, and then stowed it awkwardly in my pocket, remembering that the idea was to steal it and not provide any clues as to its location. My pocket wasn't ideal for the purpose, as I could still see on golden tip of the piece sticking out. Whatever. You just stole an element of Harmony! Celebrations are in order! Or being arrested, my conscience snarked. "Well, that's done," Discord said merrily. "They'll get to have some confusion and frustration before they get to even make their first fruitless shot now. It's going to be great to watch~" I looked around. The few ponies who'd been in the area of Ponyville we'd arrived at were either nervously leaving the scene, or just watching us, either silently or in gossiping commentary mode. "So. Now what?" I asked. Discord laughed. "Well, really, we're basically just going to be waiting on the darling little elements trying to confront us." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Which, if they have to head to Canterlot first, gives us approximately two to three days of free time." I felt surprise at that, even though it made complete sense. After all, the ponies themselves couldn't just cut from one setting to the next; they actually had to travel places. And what this meant, unless the mane six behaved like idiots and confronted us without the elements, was that I was going to be stuck in a town confused and afraid of me and Discord with Discord, for days. The instinct to scream in terror occurred to me. "Ah," I said instead. Discord smiled as he started hovering, and quickly slid his body through the air to be parallel to the ground and in front of me. "So, what do you want to do?" "I don't know. What would you do?" Discord smirked and gave a small snort of amusement. "Well, i'd cause chaos. Warp the physical rules of this plane of existence, cause everypony around to descend into madness, that type of thing, you know. But you seem to take issue with that sort of stuff, so..." "Yeah. Okay, then. Um." I looked around. My mind was empty of alternative options for entertainment that would actually also appeal to Discord. Maybe... reading? No, no. That wasn't going to work. Well. Not for Discord, at least. That sounded like perhaps my best option. Ah, fuck it. Discord can just do whatever. I'm gonna go read books. "Let's go to the library," I offered. "Sounds like a plan," Discord said, snapping. Darkness, and then we were in the library. It took me no time at all to notice the six rather recognizable ponies sharing the room with us, all of whom looked very surprised. "Oh, uh-" I said aloud. "-Are we intruding on anything?" Discord said pleasantly.