//------------------------------//
// 6: Monstrous Bargains Made Here 
// Story: The Tatzl 
// by Raging Mouse 
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As Applejack and Twilight ran, scenarios of what they’d find in Ponyville ran through their heads, each scenario more grim than its predecessor. It was therefore a slight relief to exit the Everfree and find Ponyville looking normal. Discord seemed to be enjoying the day off in the distance, having turned an entire neighbourhood into colorful children’s building blocks and amusing himself by swapping the blocks around. The Cutiemark Crusaders were putting out a small fire on the shore of the pond. Lily, Daisy and Roseluck, collectively known as The Flower Trio, could be heard running and screaming something about wasps being government agents.

This was completely normal for Ponyville. The town had learned to roll with the weirdness. The market, visible even from the outskirts, was bustling. Ponies still moved out of the way when they saw Applejack and Twilight approaching, the pair obviously on some important errand. Thus they reached the center of the market in short order. The center of the market also happened to be where the Apple Family regularly set up their cart.

Standing in front of the cart, announcing their presence with his size alone, Big Macintosh raised one bemused eyebrow at the approaching pair before glancing behind the -suspiciously empty- cart to where a plump and visibly pleased Tatzljack was sitting with an air of imperiousness, half-lidded eyes radiating perfect content. There was a queue in front of Big Mac with Davenport being the pony about to step up front at the moment. Davenport gave an amused wave to Applejack. “Hello there! I never knew you had a twin. Two dozen sour ones, please.”

The latter he said to Big Macintosh, who answered “Eeeyup” without breaking his eye contact with Applejack. Meanwhile Tatzljack’s maw opened and her tongues emerged, entwined around a cluster of what probably was exactly twenty-four greenish-golden apples. The apples were deposited into a paper bag that the trio of tongue tentacles wrapped shut and held over to an increasingly amused Davenport, who nodded in thanks and left the queue in favour of the next pony.

Applejack and Twilight had sat down on their haunches to stare at the tableau in front of them, mouths agape (and not entirely due to how winded Twilight was). They glanced at each other. Twilight nodded to Applejack, who blinked, momentarily at a loss. “Howdy Big Mac. Uh, has she… been any trouble?”

Big Mac snorted and grinned. “Eenope.” Then he nodded towards the queue - which, now that Applejack was properly observing it, was longer than usual and growing still. Ponyville had indeed learned to appreciate the weirdness.

Applejack sighed with relief and stood. She walked up to Tatzljack, a playful grin on her face. “So… you like apples, do you?” Tatzljack nodded vigorously, bringing up a dozen colorful apples from her gut and juggling them in a twisting, looping pattern. Applejack turned to Twilight, looked her in the eye and nodded, as if to say she got things under control, before looking back at Tatzljack and asking “Would you like to see where we grow them?”

Twilight didn’t stay and watch Tatzljack’s (by the sounds) very positive reaction. She’d spotted Mayor Mare in the queue, and the mayor had caught her eye. She walked over to the greying mare, who greeted Twilight with a nod.

“Hello, Princess Twilight. Are we entertaining visitors to our town?”

Twilight nodded. “Yes. If you could please inform City Hall and the guard, I would be grateful. Speaking of, I’d be further in your debt if you could tell me if you’ve seen a pony looking a lot like Rainbow Dash in town today, but who is similar to our visitor here?”

Mayor Mare hummed for a moment while shuffling forward in the queue. Then she spoke slowly. “Well… if you are saying there’s a pony looking like our Rainbow Dash in town, but not Rainbow Dash herself… then you should know I saw a Rainbow Dash speed off - running, now that I think about it - towards the pond, likely attracted by whatever the Crusaders exploded.”

Twilight gulped. “Er, I better go and check up on them. Thanks, Mayor.” She walked away from the market square, turned a corner, checked that nopony else was watching, and tore into a gallop towards the pond. She gradually became aware of foalish shrieks from up ahead, making her push herself into a truly reckless pace. One last cottage to pass, and the idyllic scene of the pond opened up before her. Of the Cutiemark Crusaders there was no sight, but Tatzldash was very evident, apparently stalking a bush.

A bush that was quivering.

Just as Twilight drew in a breath to shout, Tatzldash pounced. There was a shriek, and Applebloom shot out from under the greenery right before the tatzlpony entered it. The young filly pumped her legs for all that she was worth, but Tatzldash burst from the bush already at blurring speeds. Twilight’s shout died a shocked death in her throat as she saw Tatzldash practically run over Applebloom and gobble her up effortlessly.

The tatzlpony didn’t slow down. Instead, she curved around and headed straight for the pond. Just as Twilight, still paralyzed by shock, expected Tazldash to leap, she instead dug in her hooves in the moist earth… and opened her maw. Three fillies - Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom - hurled by a tongue tentacle each, were literally launched out of Tatzldash’s throat, to sail in a huge arc out over the pond, accompanied by shrieks - and excited laughter.

Each Cutiemark Crusader performed differently; Scootaloo flapped her stubby wings and gained extra air time. Applebloom curled into a cannonball. Sweetie Belle flailed without control and landed nearly upside down. Three huge splashes echoed around the pond, while Tatzldash bled the remainder of her speed by splashing into the shallow water by the shore and keeping an eye on where the fillies had landed.

A moment later, all three fillies popped to the surface and made their way towards the shore. Already, they were calling out: “Again! Again!” That was about the time Twilight remembered about needing to breathe, so she took a couple of deep breaths. This also served to calm her down and see the humor in the situation. Her thoughts went to Fluttershy and her bear massages and she chuckled, only slightly out of breath.

Tatzldash perked at the sound, turned her head to look for its source and, upon spotting Twilight, trumpeted like a seagull before loping over to stand in front of her. Twilight smiled.

“Hello! Having fun?”

Tatzldash nodded and chittered like a starling. The Crusaders, ignoring Twilight, were already bouncing around Tatzldash, still demanding an encore. Twilight looked straight into Tatzldash’s eyes and nodded her go-ahead. “It’s nice of you to play with Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Applebloom. If you want to keep doing it, go right ahead.”

The raised eyebrow and the mischievous smirk on Tatzldash’s face should’ve warned Twilight. Instead, she was taken completely off-guard by the combined pounce and swallow. She landed upside down in Tatzldash’s stomach, and had only barely managed to gain her bearings when three giggling fillies landed on her, scattering her thoughts. Despite being upside down, she could still feel the intense acceleration that followed, and had time enough to start a wail of protest before there was light, rushing air and a quickly approaching greenish-blue surface—

Tatzldash looked positively disgruntled when Twilight appeared in front of her in a flash of magic. The tatzlpony hooted like an owl, once, and still managed to convey a complex and nuanced message of disappointment. Twilight maturely stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry at her.