//------------------------------//
// Bonus Chapter: Postalogue 
// Story: Fine Print 
// by Starscribe 
//------------------------------//

Tracy stared down at the pony in his living room, taking in her terrified visage. She might not be physically shaking anymore, as she had been when he first arrived. But she couldn't hide the fear from her scent. This was a pony on the edge of their endurance.

Now did Discord intend for you to run into me, or was that an accident? 

"Why don't you start with the details you remember," he said, taking the seat across from her. He shifted slightly in the seat, adjusting his legs. It had been long enough that he barely even remembered the old human taboos. But he could smell that shyness in her. A little too much of that, and Roseluck would start getting jealous.

"I'll bring refreshments," Rose said, vanishing into the kitchen. "Come along, Violet. Let's let the aliens talk amongst themselves."

"Aliens," The crystal pony repeated, watching the filly go. Violet moved only reluctantly, but she was obedient enough that it didn't turn into an argument. The two of them vanished down the hallway into the kitchen, leaving Spark and the new pony in the den. "And you've been stuck here... long enough that you have a family. Oh god. This is one of those Star Trek episodes, isn't it? Where the captain is stuck somewhere for so long that they abandon hope of ever going home. I'm doomed."

"Well... maybe. Maybe not." He resisted the urge to interrogate her about that old property. How awesome it would be to see what new content had come out since his departure from Earth. But it was easy enough to banish the thought. 

Spark Gap had chosen another life. He could accept the sacrifices. "Why don’t you tell me your name. I’m Spark Gap, I think you already heard that. Or you can call me Tracy, if you prefer.”

“Michele, Michelle Hughes,” she said, voice faint.

“Nice to meet you, Michelle. Why don’t you start by telling me what you agreed to? What did you sign?"

"I, uh... a contract, I guess? I know I should've been more careful, but I was desperate! You don't get a deal like this one every day."

"You sure don't," Spark agreed. "First thing's first, you're not stuck. Read the terms—Equestria doesn't keep you prisoner forever. I'm pretty sure Discord isn't allowed to keep you for more than a year."

"It was..." She trailed off, turning as Rose re-entered. She must've been baking those cookies already, because they smelled fresh. Lucky coincidence for Michelle, then. "Wait, allowed? You telling me this curse has some kinda rules behind it?"

He took one using a wing, and that evoked the desired reaction. There was something particularly impressive about displays of dexterity like that when you couldn't imagine how to function without hands. 

"Thank you, sweetheart. What's the occasion?"

Rose shrugged. "Might have to wait. See if your new friend needs any help first." She left as quickly as she came. Spark caught one final glimpse of a set of slitted bat-eyes peeking through the door before Rose clicked it closed, and the two of them were alone again.

"So the one who brought you, Discord—you're probably better off not knowing too many details. Just think of it like this: whatever you signed, he can't break the rules. He can ignore the laws of physics, but not an oath you've both sworn. Does that make sense?"

"Not even a little." She nudged one of the cookies with her nose, then finally got over herself enough to pick up a chocolate chip cookie in her mouth. She chewed, and visibly relaxed into her seat. There was something special about warm cooking, particularly the fresh ingredients ponies used. "Just tell me how to get out of it. Someone on this side has to know... guess it's you."

How could anyone go back to eating on Earth after this? 

"There's no magic bullet, unfortunately. I've known of some others who made a contract like yours in the past. Sometimes they want to go back where they came from when they're done. Other times they stay." And every single one of them was someone Discord thought was vulnerable to being persuaded to move between worlds, and they almost always did.

"I just needed somewhere to give me an education cert," Michelle continued. "I maybe thought someone was going to falsify their credentials and give me a degree from a school that didn't exist. But that isn't the same as kidnapping me!"

"You... oh, really?" He finished the cookie he'd been nursing, then sat up. "There's only one big school in town, you’re too old for the other one. They have dorms for most of the students, though locals can go home on weekends."

Her mouth fell open. “You can't be serious. There's... actually a school here? And you honestly think that 'Discord' expects me to go? It was a joke, just like this whole... stupid place. You'll think so, when you hear it. This isn't some trade school, or even an online university. It's a school of 'Friendship.' What does that even mean? How do you go to school for that?"

She fished around in one of her many pockets, coming up with several folded sheets. She set it on the table between them, flattening them out with one hoof. Spark didn't recognize the patterns moving down the sides, like a complex QR code. Must have something to do with whatever devices people were using back home these days.

But the dense, perfect scrawl of Discord's handwriting was as familiar as ever. Despite his chaotic nature, every time he wrote a contract the words were noted with precision. He didn't entrap people by tricking them into signing something they couldn’t read—the fun was apparently in getting them to agree while the insanity was in plain sight.

Tracy didn't need to read the whole thing to get the gist—Michelle here had agreed to attend two semesters at the school, beginning with the fall. She would get to go home for usual breaks, and weekends, but that was it. In fact, she was required to go back to Earth for those periods, though she was encouraged to bring her friends with her if they wanted, and would even be allotted a stipend for each one who came along.

You're really upping your chaos game on this one. But Spark didn't express his anger and involuntary appreciation for the audacity of it. That wouldn't help Michelle feel better.

"And you read all this?" he asked, after skimming over the most important bits."

She nodded. "Not until I got here. I have this bus pass..." She tossed it onto the table between them. More like a bracelet, though it was obviously wide enough to accommodate a whole hoof. “I scan it while I step on, and the whole place changes. It's way worse than LSD, and then I'm here. But it doesn't work in reverse. There's no road on this side, no bus."

"Yeah, you use the train." He slid the contract back to her. "It's not the weekend, so you can't go back. You should be using this time to prepare for the first day of school tomorrow. You have five more days before your bus comes."

"You're shitting me." She leaned down over the contract, practically devouring that section. It was all fine print, densely packed and indistinguishable. But the subheadings gave it away.

"This can't be okay," she said, hyperventilating all over again. "Who do we call? There's gotta be a lawyer somewhere in town who can help me. I can't pay much, but... maybe they'll take the case pro bono?"

He chuckled. "I don't know about 'okay', but Discord is basically a god. There's no one who could stop him even if they wanted to. And what he does—" Usually ends up being for your own good. Even if it doesn't feel like that at first. "Don't bother fighting it the way you're thinking. You signed this, and he didn't compel you. That's it. All you can choose to do now is decide what you'll do with your next few semesters in Equestria." 

He rose, turning to the window. "I could take you to the campus, if you like. Help you meet your..." Did any of the human-college words apply? Probably not. "RA? Yeah. I've lived here in Ponyville long enough that I know my way around. Or..." He glanced once at the door, and the set of slitted eyes peeking in, watching eagerly. "Actually, I have a better idea. My daughter could show you around. The campus doesn't have very many students my age, but she's almost old enough to attend."

He waved one wing, looking Violet right in the eye. "Don't just stare, Violet. Come on in."

She did, and at least had the decency to look embarrassed at being caught. That was more than Indigo would've done.

Michelle stood up, shuffling nervously back and forth. Like she was preparing to run away, but kept realizing that she had nowhere to go. "You can't just be expecting me to accept this! It's evil, it's kidnapping! We should fight it together!"

Spark shook his head once. "It is all those things. But I'm not going to get into a fight I know I won't win. That's just... one of those things you come to accept, living here in Equestria. Sometimes there are things bigger than you out there in the world. You learn to deal with some, or you get out of the way. You don't step out onto the tracks and demand the train to stop."

"You'll like it here!" Violet said helpfully, circling around the obviously unhappy pony. "Mom says Dad didn't like Equestria either when he first got here. But he changed his mind after a while... you will too! It's a really nice place to live. We've got magic here, lots of things to do..."

Michelle kicked at the couch with one hoof. It thunked loudly, resonating through her crystal body. Spark winced, but couldn’t see any cracks. Just how fragile were crystal ponies, anyway?

"If you ever need anything, come back to the flower shop, we'll try to help." He stood too. "I'm sorry that wasn't the answer you wanted."





Violet led the strangely overdressed pony back out into the streets of Ponyville. It was almost nightfall now, though that didn't mean a return to comfortable darkness. She'd have to go outside the city limits if she wanted to experience real dark on her eyes. She didn't think the odds of that were terribly high tonight.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, with Michelle proceeding at a modest mope. She dragged her hooves through the dirt, occasionally kicking small rocks. Without her strange shouting and begging others for help, they didn't attract the constant stares and pointing. There would be no royal guard showing up.

"What about you?" Michelle finally asked, after a few minutes of trudging through Ponyville. "You know you dad comes from another world. Does it bother you?"

Violet took off, hovering along just ahead of Michelle. That way she wasn't shorter—let the new pony be the one to look up at her. "Nah, nothing like that. I think maybe it's a little lame that he used to go on adventures, but now he wants to stay here and be boring all the time. Not that Ponyville isn't great. But how could a pony see all those amazing things, then come back and stick in one place?"

The School of Friendship appeared before them, its towers juxtaposed strangely against Ponyville's rural architecture. The smell of moving water and thick greenery overtook the dust and earth pony sweat scent that normally dominated Ponyville.

Michelle was silent for a long time, taking in the waterfall, the elegant buildings. Her eyes lingered on the crowds of students moving in and out. Many of them had bags overflowing with classwork. But there were others, freshly moved in, that carried little more than she did. Ponies didn't wear much, and the school provided everything they could need.

Too bad Violet hadn't gotten in. It looked like fun!

"I don't know if you'd see it that way, in my place," she finally said. "Imagine if you were kidnapped, taken away from home. It's not like you have a lot to go back to... but it's the principle of the thing. You liked the place you lived. You'd built things there. You didn't want to give them up."

Violet landed on the grass in front of her, grinning. They'd already been noticed—was that the headmare? Starlight Glimmer turned towards them, expression weary. Were we keeping her waiting?

"I'd be scared. But I think I'd try to make the best of it. Maybe I'd make some new friends while I was there. Worth a try!"