Luna walked out the school with a soreness from sitting that she had never known. The desks seemed to be made of uncomfortablium. It was a wonder that any dragon learned anything at all. She looked at her fellow classmates’ drooping faces. How was she supposed to retain such a brunt of information? Each class was like a battle to fight both sleep and filter the dearth of facts that were hurled at them.
She was so tired she was able to easily ignore all the whispered comments and sideways glances. It was strange so many of them looked similar and had the same names as those in Canterlot. She had spent an entire class sitting next to one called Twilight Sparkletooth. The lavender dragon answered all the questions the teacher gave with the same precise precision that her pony counterpart had.
Garble ambled up. He looked bored, and irritable. So his normal expression. He made eye contact then turned his stroll over to her.
“Hey, babe,” he said casually.
“Babe! Am I a foal now?! Do I look like a babe to you?!” snapped Luna. What was wrong with this physiology? She could feel the anger rise up within her.
“No, I just mean..uh hi Princess.”
“Better. Pet names aren’t required for this ..arrangement,” the Princess said curtly.
“Right,” said Garble, rubbing his spines with his claw. “So what did you think of school?”
“This form of teaching seems to lull one to sleep rather than instilling knowledge. Somepony should reform the process.”
“Hey, you should probably keep it down with the pony talk,” Garble cautioned.
“Some ...dragon. It does not carry the same elegance to it.”
“Dragons can be elegant. Especially these dragons around here. Not that I like that sort of thing of course,” the inelegant dragon said with a snort of disdain. He suddenly stopped posturing and stared across the feild. “Oh no! He found me here!”
“What?!” Luna frantically searched for danger. All she saw was a harmless, purple dragon that was barely half their size running towards them with his arms open.
“GarGar! What’s up, bud?” asked Spike as he flung his arms around the older dragon.
“Don’t call me that!”
“And hi, Princess Luna,” Spike said with a low bow.
“Is he mocking me?” gasped Luna.
“What?! No!” cried the little dragon with a quick jump. “Gar Gar told me all about how you and he are from a different world. He said you were a Princess. A pony Princess. I was showing respect. Do they not bow in your world?”
“Dolt!” The Princess cried with another quick bop to the lout’s noggin. “Not only did you fail to acquire any new information but you told everything to your friend.”
“He had some sort of weird power,” whined Garble. “He was all nice and helpful and well I needed to tell some dragon. And he is not my friend.”
“I am sorry,” sighed Luna as she looked at her small clawed hand. “I seem to keep striking you. I am not usually so violent. But I suppose of all the po..dragons you could have told, Spike is a decent one.”
“You can count on me, Princess,” Spike said with a salute. “I could totally be helpful. I know all there is to know about Craterlot. And my big sister is one of the smartest dragons around.”
“Big...Sister?” repeated Luna. “Oh do you mean Twilight Sparkle..tooth.”
“Yeah, her family adopted me when I was an abandoned egg. I have been with them ever since.”
“Well, that makes sense,” nodded the royal wyrm. “Actually you might be helpful. My sister said only two dragons would know about inter-dimensional travel. Starswirl the Bearded Dragon, who seems to be my caretaker and a Dr Claw.”
“Why not ask Starswirl?” Spike asked with his hands in the air.
“I am not sure how he would react. I don’t know if he will believe me. It is a rather far fetched notion and I don’t want any po..dragon to doubt my sanity.”
“So you want to ask Dr Claw huh?”
“Do you know where we can find him?”
Spike turned his eyes up in thought. “Dr Claw lives in Dragonville I think. It’s not too far a flight. We could fly down there and back before I need to get my homework done. Can I ...invite Smolder to come with us?” The little dragon’s cheeks burned with a deep crimson.
“No! No!” Garble waved off the idea like a dragon afraid to get clubbed. “I do not want to pal around my little sister while you two get all lovey-dovey.”
“C’mon,” pleaded Spike. “It’ll be like a double date. It will arouse less suspicion.”
Luna had never realized how manipulative Spike could be. The more dragons that knew their secret the more likely they were discovered. The thought of being probed and prodded for answers about Equestria or incarcerated in a mental home for believing she was a pony princess flooded her mind.
“Very well,” she said at last, “ but you mustn’t tell her the truth about us. As far as she is concerned her brother and I are dating. Just let us know if there is some convention we miss.”
“No problem, your highness. I’m your dragon. I know all there is to know about dates and relationships and love.” He waggled his eyebrows in a inferative fashion.
***
“So you expect me to kiss that lout?!” cried Luna. She flew next to Spike on the way to Dragonville. Garble and Smolder were ahead presumably in a similar conversation about the dos and don’ts of dragon relationships. Spike had revealed an awful truth.
“It’s normal if you’re dating to kiss. Or hold hands and snuggle in each other’s arms,” explained the love expert. “Smolder will get suspicious if you don’t do those things. Unless we just tell her what’s going on.”
“No! The less dragons that know the better. I fear she might be upset if she finds out my relationship is a ruse.”
“She was pretty excited for him,” agreed Spike. “And when Smolder gets mad, look out. She can shoot some pretty hot flames.”
“Well as an older dragon, I assume my flames would be equally hot,” grumbled Luna. She felt oddly competitive.
“Do you even know how to breathe fire?”
“I never tried to but I am a dragon. Is it not in our nature to breathe fire?”
“It’s not as easy as it looks,” the little wing dragon explained. “If you don’t know what you're doing it could be disastrous or not work at all.”
“How odd. Well with any luck I shan’t have to make use of it. Now where does this Doctor Claw live? I am eager to see him.”
Spike pointed to a strange cavern covered with pipes, and gyroscopes. Luna was about to descend when a swift look from Spike reminded her of her “purpose”.
“Now Crystal Cube Corner is over there,” Spike pointed to a crystal covered cave a little distance from her own destination. “Pinkie Pyrite is one of the best at crystal cupcakes. She really knows how to spoil a dragon. She’s a little ..excitable so don’t be too surprised.”
****
“Hey everydragon,” screamed a bright pink dragon with a large magenta frill. Unlike Luna’s, the frill shook and fanned out with every expression. It looked like a fan on top of her head that would open or close depending on her mood. It was fully open as they approached. “Oooh couples. I bet you guys are on a double date huh?”
“How did you know?” Smolder asked in wonder.
“Pinkie dragon sense. Oooh,” the dragon suddenly stopped. Her frill shook and jiggled. Luna thought she could hear some sort of rattling coming from it. “I sense a doozy! Some dragon here is not all they pretend to be. It’s you isn’t it?!”
An accusing claw pointed at a small furry beaver in the corner. The beaver shook its head and gave her an indignant look.
“Aww Stumpy I knew it wasn’t you,” giggled Pinkie. She looked at her customers suspiciously. Then she flew into action, somehow appearing in impossible places asking each customer “is it you?” “Or you?” At one point she asked “is it me?” The customer threw its claws up in uncertainty.
“Weeeell,” the confectionery said as she returned to the front. “When I find out who it is they’re going to wish they weren’t a liar mc-liar-pants. Liars are bad news. Oh, you cute couples go find a booth. I know just what to get all of you.”
The four found a red vinyl booth and slid in. Luna found her big oaf sitting next to her. She sighed. It was going to be a long date. Smolder sat across from her. Luna could feel her eyes assessing and judging. What sort of reputation did she have before now?
Spike, however, looked like a giggling school foal. His little hands covered his mouth that was pulled up in a large smile. His eyes sparkled with anticipation. Did he expect her to act now? Was that typical in a relationship?
Luna steeled herself. She would not back down from any challenge. Smolder could get suspicious if she didn’t sell it. She turned and gazed into that dim face. It stared back with a look of innocent buffoonery. She smiled at its lack of awareness. Her head shifted and her body leaned into the large dragon. She gently placed a kiss upon his awkward lips and was immediately assaulted by a rush of excitement that she did not expect. Her body filled with electricity and her awareness slipped away.
Indeterminable time passed. And Luna felt her weak body finally drift away. She opened her eyes. The glow from Garble’s cheek scales was a blinding red. She could barely make out anything else on his face. She turned in triumph to Smolder but was met with a look of shock and awe. Confused, she looked at Spike. The little dragon was beaming. Of course! Spike was Garble’s best friend. He would champion his cause regardless of the circumstances. He held no loyalty to her at all in this world.
Luna could feel her own scales glowing. It was the first time she had kissed somepony in a long time. And the first time ever kissing a dragon. She was determined to maintain her composure. Her arms crossed, and she leaned back in the booth. She hoped her look was one of ease instead of the confusion and embarrassment she felt.
“Please don’t ever do that in front of me again,” said Smolder, recovering. “I don’t want to barf.”
Garble was still frozen. He just stared at Luna. Until a large bump under the table from Luna’s tail spurned him into breathing.
“Oh yeah, huh, Luna is just like that,” fumbled the bright red Garble. “Sometimes.”
“Oooo,” cried Pinkie. “Some dragon is a fast mover. She must really like you. Here you go. Hot crystal cupcakes coated in colors that correspond with your scales. Eeeenjoy. And if you find that liar let me know. I’m on the lookout for them.”
The eccentric dragon placed her tray of cupcakes down and walked back to her counter. Her eyes darted back and forth. Each dragon around her was a suspect. Including inanimate objects.
It turned out that double dates were far different than Luna had envisioned. Ponies in her court had always spoken highly of them. They were seen as a bonding experience. This was an awkward, stale, silent event. Spike started up a conversation about lava surfing while Smolder stared at her uncomfortably. Luna decided that cupcakes rolled in sapphires were not nearly as unpalatable as she had thought. The hard crunch made a satisfying element to the soft sponge of the cake. The sapphires themselves were a unique flavor but to her dragon tongue it was delectable.
“So huh, did we want to go to the river or check out the Everfire forest?” Spike asked hopefully.
“We should probably find the dragon we came here to see,” countered Luna. “Perhaps you two could take in the sights. Garble and I shall visit this dragon.”
“What dragon?” Smolder asked suspiciously. “You two aren’t sneaking off to do ...things again?”
“Of course not!” Luna shouted much louder than she anticipated. “That was a misunderstanding.”
“How do you accidentally take off your clothes?”
“I..”
“It was a bet,” injected Garble. “I bet Luna she wasn’t bold enough to go streaking with me. She said just because she was a noble doesn’t mean she didn’t know how to prank. I told her to prove it. We didn’t make it out of the alley before we were spotted. But man that would have been funny.”
Smolder placed her head in her hands. “Uhh streaking? Again? That makes sense. At least it’s not ...something else.”
“I am not that type of dragon,” insisted the former pony. “I have an old acquaintance that I want to visit. I want him to meet Garble as well.”
“Wow,” Smolder said. “You’re actually showing off my brother as your boyfriend huh? Well I told you that you were special Gargar. Looks like you finally found some dragon that sees it too. I know it’s hard it for him to show his sensitive side.”
“Sensitive side?”
“Oh he hasn’t shown it yet? Wait until you get a load of his poetry!”
“Poetry? Garble? I am quite fascinated by poets.”
“Yeah! He’s like a primo beat poet. I’m surprised he hasn’t told you yet,” informed Smolder with a shake of her head. “Always has to be so ‘macho’. It’s just an act. He secretly wants to be accepted for who he really is.”
“But how can we accept him if he never allows us to see it?”
“He’s not the sharpest rock in the quarry. But maybe you can help him. He is your boyfriend after all. I never would even think of wearing a dress like this before Spike. I loved them but I didn’t think my friends would accept me. Spike was the first dragon I showed my dress collection to. He encouraged me to wear them. And now I don’t care what others say. I am me.”
“You are a great sister to your brother,” Luna commended. “Do not ever let him tell you otherwise.”
“I hope he finally opens up to you. Just don’t push him so hard. Spikey wikey and I will be down by the river. We’ll meet up before we head home, ok?”
With a gleam of pride in her eye Smolder got up and led Spikey wikey off towards the exit. Garble and Luna followed suit and the former princess looked at the large cave with its pipes.
“You should have warned me before you kissed me back there,” Garble said with a sulking expression. “I would have stopped you.”
“Spike had said it was typical among couples,” protested Luna.
“Well, it’s not typical of me. I don’t really like all that mushy stuff. Gag!”
“Well you must get used to them. I don’t want any dragon thinking we are deceiving them. If Spike says such acts of affection are typical, then we should do them.”
Garble glared at the Princess in a despondent manner. Luna’s expression didn’t change. She met his hard stare with a metal gaze of her own. For a moment the will of the two dragons clashed and danced around the street. Eventually Garble sighed. “Find you can do the hand holding, kissing thing. But only in public and don’t think that I like it.”
“Agreed,” Luna curtly said then turned on her heel and strode towards the cave. As if to drive home her victory she grabbed his claw as they walked. She wasn’t expecting another rush of excitement. It was Garble the stupid dragon. But Smolder hinted there was more to him. Perhaps, in the interest of friendship and their common plight, she should find out what.