You know how Equestria is a peaceful place? Well you imagine shit. Today I woke up after my curse was lifted and my deep slumber broken, unaware of so many things that happened in past so many years. Of course this would be for one reason: I was cursed with an eternal sleeping spell by that all loving bitch of a princess.
You probably wonder who I am.
Well hi. I’m known as Shadow Gloom. By history forgotten and by ponies unknown.
… Shit! Did I just introduce myself to myself?
That has got to be classed as insane. But god am i numb or am i numb. i will be laying here for a while so lets sing a happy song.
When the numbness has somewhat passed i opened my eyes.
“Hmm. My tomb, as dark as always.” I mumble to myself as I lead my hazy sight around the room.
Being able to move my hooves I located the ground underneath me and pushed myself up, standing for the first time in ages.
“Gee, moving around like this will be interesting.” I said to myself as I was stumbling towards the corridor leading out of this pit of darkness.
“Great! I really am insane. Not only do I talk to myself but I narrate my actions as well.” I said rather sarcastically.
Insanity, it’s good for you. No, seriously, I feel like a complete moron. Anyways, let’s resume my quest to the surface. Away!!!
Going down the corridor of my tomb I remembered just how confusing this maze really is. I could kill the guy who fucking made it. Oh wait, that would be me.
I spent what seemed like hours of kissing and hugging the walls as well as mopping the floor of the corridors. Seriously I collected so much dirt in my coat that I could put a professional cleaner to shame. Finally I arrived to what looked like it could be the entrance. It seems like there was just a little cave in, that’s all.
“Let’s just push this humongous rock right here.” I said while placing my hooves on the big rock that was blocking my way out.
With one shove the rock rolled backwards exposing my really sensitive eyes to the sunlight of Everfree Forest. I don’t care that it’s as dark as night, still bloody burns. After ages of sleeping in complete darkness I want to see you bathing your eyes in the sunlight. Anyways, as the rock rolled over it left me standing there blinded and without support of my front hooves. Naturally I fell over. Laying on the damp ground that was the entrance to my tomb I felt a touch of wind on my face. God I forgot that feeling. I basked in the feeling as I opened my eyes just enough for me to see through the light and look around. After a while my eyes became finally adjusted but I did not dear to open them fully.
I started to get up when I noticed a strange creature standing in front of me. A creature that look equine but it had transparent wings, a horn and fangs. It had coat of solid black colour and its hooves had holes.
“So Equestria suffers a changeling infestation? Seriously, Celestia?” I mumbled under breath whilst carefully observing the changeling.
As I stepped forward the changeling hissed and readied itself to jump on me. But before it had a time to react, the creature was shrouded in a cloud of pure darkness. As the cloud completely closes around the changeling it disperses into the air leaving nothing but empty space where just a moment ago stood the creature.
“Glad that still works.” I said to myself smugly as I just confirmed that I still have my magic.
Feeling the breeze pass me by I decided to follow it. Trying to figure out my way around the trees I notice a chicken poking its head out of a bush. A chicken in Everfree forest… its head turned towards me and IT’S A COCATRICE! I wonder if whoever named this creature had a one-track mind. I suddenly felt that my body started to turn into stone, but before I completely turned a dark cloud surrounded the beast. When the cloud lifted the cockatrice was gone and I could return to getting out of this forest.Sadly being turned half to stone and being half numb is apparently a bad mix. I tried to walk without kicking the back of my own head. It took so much concentration that I forgot to keep my eyes opened and without noticing I started to walk down hill. Losing what little balance I had I fell over and started to roll face first. I rolled to the bottom of the hill planting my face into the ground. I think this is the first time I have seen my hind hooves up close as they were literary standing next to my head.
As I flipped myself of the ground I noticed that I was on the edge of the forest. There was a town short distance away. Hmm. Maybe the ponies of today are more civilized.
I somehow doubted that alicorns became a common sight and so I decided to use my magic to hide my wings and horn before I dragged myself towards the town. The town was almost empty.
Suddenly, a pink pony, right in my face.
“Hi! You must be new around. I’m Pinkie Pie.” said the pink mare, excitement oozing from her.
Trying to ignore this wild character I try to move past her but then she says something that leaves me standing.
“Say, why do you look so dirty?” She asks as if just noticing coat.
I am stunned at the fact that she didn’t even notice how wobbly my legs are but the question stunned me even more as I did not expect it and I didn’t have a good answer either. All I could do is stand there, frozen in terror as the pink mare looked at me puzzlingly.
But I felt my luck improve as the pink mare noticed some other poor sod that found his way into this village and she ran towards him.
I sighted in relief and as I was about to continue on I overheard the pink mare as for the strangers name and the answer he gave made my heart jump.
“Hmm, pretty pony I’m known throughout the Equestria as the famous and wondrous. The one and only, Lucky Pop.” The ever-so familiar voice rang in my head, making me almost jump for the nearby haystack.
“Uhh, this is soooo exciting. I get to make two new friends in the same day.”
That is exactly when the new stranger noticed me and I him. The sight only confirmed my fear. But at the sight of me the other pony gasped.
“I don’t believe this! Is that really you?” he asked, I could see the shock in his eyes even through his sunglasses.
“Well I did not expect to see you. Nor did I wish to see you.” I said rather annoyed. I had an idea of what was to come but nothing could prepare me for the way it was going to be delivered. You’ll get that one later.
“Aw come on. Don’t give me that. I bet you are happy to see me again.” says the voice of my doom.
“I’ll be ‘lucky’ to get out of this encounter with just a few scratches.” sarcasm much. I’ll be lucky to get out of this situation alive.
“Come on. Don’t be so grim. I mean we finally meet again after ages and this is how you treat me?” he sounded a bit annoyed. Ok, maybe I’m being a bit too harsh but it doesn’t hurt to keep my distance from him.
“Wait, you two know each other?” asked the pink pony. I feel like I should remember her name coz I get the feeling that this is not our last encounter even though I don’t like the idea of meeting this hyperactive ball of pink fur again.
It seemed like Lucky was waiting for my response to that question. He had his hooves crossed and a serious look on his face.
“Yes.” I said quietly. Suddenly a smile appeared on Lucky’s face.
“Hmm, of course we are, miss Pinkie Pie.” Lucky said trying to be as cool as ever.
Pinkie! So that was her name, it makes perfect sense now that I think about it. I feel stupid for not remembering her name. Suddenly I feel a bit happier and that is never a good sign but I like this feel.
“So what’s your name?” Pinkie asked as she turned towards me.
“It’s Shadow. Shadow Gloom. Nice to meet you, Pinkie.” I answered back.
“Can we be friend?” another question from Pinkie. I have a feeling she talks a lot.
“Hmm, ‘course we can, miss Pinkie Pie.” immediately replied Lucky.
As I was about to answer her question, not really sure if I wanted to answer that, something happened that would change my whole day. Pinkies tail started to twitch.
“Oh no, my tails twitching.” she sounded like it was something serious.
“So?” I asked, unaware of the misfortune that was to befall me.
“It means that something is going to fall.” she said it like it was actually going to happen. She might be crazier that I first thought.
DUUUN- I don’t really know the sound effect for a crushing piano is. I don’t know where the piano came from either but I know that taking it head-on is not good for me.
When I realised I was crushed by the piano I found myself under the rubble that was left of it. From the outside I could hear the gasp of shock from several ponies. I guess a small crowd gathered. You got to be fucking kidding me.
“Hmm, you all right under there?” asked my totally dumb friend.
I wanted to reply but I felt a faint coming on and all the strength I had gathered up since I woke up has left me and I couldn’t move my mouth.
“I pity the fool.” I heard somepony just before i fainted.
Just a quick thanks to linch_lord666 for proofing and providing some info and ideas.