Switch

by Professor_Blue

Chapter 2

        ‘Must be ‘bout time to get up by now. Did Ah remember to set the alarm?’ thought Macintosh. He opened his eyes but could see nothing, his world being completely pitch black. He smelled what seemed to be a variety of perfumes and oils, which made his mind scramble as to why it seemed he was in a make-up shop at midnight. His hoof felt the back of his head and pulled at a small frilly band, which released a pair of sleeping blinders to drop off his face. Amazed, he saw the heavily decorated room he was in, with carved walls and a fluffy looking carpet on the floor. He raised his hoof to his chin to think as to what was happening but it suddenly shocked him as he felt. The skin was so soft and so smooth he almost didn’t want to stop feeling it, and more surprising to him:

‘Where’s my jaw?’ his face seemed much smaller. Macintosh rolled over on the bed, but again with surprise, the bed was larger than he was used to, and only tussled himself in the sheet, which was thicker and silkier than any property he owned. He threw off the sheet and tried to leap out of the bed, striking his flank against a bedside table. The pain seared far more than he imagined possible, and he looked back at himself.

‘How could a lil’ bump hurt this dang much?’ and then he saw his flank. It wasn’t broad nor red or anything else he might use to describe himself. It was small and round and white and had three lightish blue gemstones for a cutie mark.

‘Ah don’t like this dream.’ he thought. He pinched himself in the neck but the only thing that happened was an addition of a sting. As he placed his hoof back down, it pushed through smooth, thick purple locks of hair that hung down quite far. Macintosh thought he’d understood enough, and looked around frantically. On one side of the room was a large mirror mounted to a work desk.

‘…Do Ah dare?’

Cautiously he approached it from the side, delaying the reflection for as long as possible until he raised his head and saw one of Applejack’s friends looking back at him. He gasped. She was elegant and a bunch of other words that he couldn’t think of, that all meant “beautiful”. What struck him the most were the two gorgeous blue eyes that stared back. For a moment he glanced away to breathe again, and noticed in the bottom corner of the mirror was a signature in lipstick that read “Rarity”. He looked back at the reflection, hesitating only a moment before he spoke.

“Hello Miss Rarity.” said Rarity. The unicorn squeaked and froze solid as she heard her voice speak with a most unavoidably undeniably sophisticated feminine sound. She leapt away from the mirror, afraid of whatever was happening. ‘My mind’s inside a mare?’

She thought about screaming or running or jumping back into the bed. All not very good options, she concluded. She thought about just walking back to Sweet Apple Acres and getting to work, or maybe walking to Canterlot to see if one of those fancy magic ponies would have a solution. Both were more useful options, but still not exactly optimal. A white cat yawned, lying quietly on a small fur-lined basket near the dresser. Rarity quietly walked closer and lay down beside the basket and began slowly and carefully petting the cat.

‘Well, this is jus’ peachy. Must be Thursday. ‘Could never get the hang of Thursdays.’ The cat smiled and began to purr, as Rarity pondered. ‘Goin’ to th’farm ain’t gonna help. This pony body’s too small for mah yoke, an’ AJ would probably think Ah’d gone nuts if Ah tried to borrow hers. An’ Canterlot’s a pretty long way… Ah don’t know if this pony could even walk that far. Or if anypony would miss her. What do Ah do?’ She tried not to panic. She tried imaginging with all her might that it was just a dream and she could wake up, but it made something in her forehead tickle.

There was a quiet shudder outside, and then the creak of the back door.

‘What do Ah do?!’ thought Macintosh’s mind, suddenly rushed. Rarity jumped up, looking around the room. Hoofsteps were coming from the stairs just outside the only visible door. Jumping out the window as a probably unworkable solution, she reasoned. The sounds from the stairs continued to grow louder. Rarity ran behind the bed, hiding from view. Through the doorway walked the tall red stallion of Big Macintosh, looking rather annoyed and somewhat tired. He looked around the room, and spotted Rarity’s spying eyes from the edge of the bed.

“What in the name of… Rarity?” he asked. He had never seen such a third-pony perspective before.

“…Eeyup?” said Rarity, questioning herself as she walked out from behind the bed. The stallion immediately recognized the verbal tic.

“Oh thank goodness! Big Macintosh, what’s going on? I’m stuck in your body! And you are stuck in mine!” he pointed to her, then himself. “What are we going to do?”

Rarity thought about what might be the sort of thing that real Rarity might do.

“…Panic?” she said, with an unsure raised eyebrow.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Big Mac.” said Macintosh, starting to pace in a longish circle. Rarity sat down, watching the stallion. “Ooh, I know! Twilight Sparkle will be able to solve this!” he said, looking up excitedly. He looked back down and returned to pacing. “But she won’t wake up for hours!...” Rarity watched him pace several more laps. “…But this is more important than sleep! Look at me!” said Macintosh, exasperated.

“Rest now’ll help her think when she’s awake.” said Rarity.

“That’s all very well and good but what are we going to do until then? We cannot just wait here, can we?” Macintosh suddenly realized the impropriety of a stallion and mare standing there alone in Rarity’s bedroom, expertly hiding his reaction to the thought. “All things considered, I suppose not.”

“Eeyup.” said Rarity, inclined to agree with whatever meant they would leave the perfume-scented room.

“Right.. Then where should we wait?”

“Well normally Ah’d be workin’ the plow right now, but figger’d you wouldn’t want to.” said Rarity. In her mind, she sounded a lot like Applejack.

“You guess correctly.” said Macintosh, highly concerned with how Applejack’s brother might treat her very immaculate condition of body. Rarity seemed to be avoiding his eyes, lips tightened partially. “Something the matter?”

Rarity’s look returned to Macintosh like she’d been caught, but spoke simply enough, although carefully.

“…W-would you like to go for a walk?”

“Is that your plan for waiting for Twilight?” replied Macintosh. Rarity nodded.

“Uhm… Ah was… afraid, if you didn’t want me to,” she stopped somewhat awkwardly, her eyes dodged a little to one side before looking back. “‘Cause you’re so fine and clean.”

“Oh.” said Macintosh. “Well, thank you for being so self-conscious on my behalf Big Ma-” Macintosh stopped himself at the strangeness of the address, but continued. “Er.. Macintosh.”

“‘Bumped mah leg on th’table when Ah got up an’ it hurt more than it should’ve.” said Rarity, pointing to the bedside table. “So Ah got worried ‘bout hurtin’ yer body again or messin’ up your mane or somethin’, ‘cause you’re so high-maintenance. -!” Macintosh jerked slightly with the perceived insult as Rarity winced with the realized connotation. “Sorry, Ah didn’t mean-”

“It’s alright, Big Mac.” interrupted the stallion, shrugging off the mistake. “Your concern is appreciated.”

        Big Macintosh and Rarity walked alongside a grove of trees on a road near town, slowly brightening from the approaching sunrise as bright yellow and faint purple wove its way through the thin clouds above.
There was no doubt that the stallion’s mind was one that liked to talk, but such a change made him far less chatty.

‘Since we’re stuck like this, we might as well talk. Big Macintosh does appear to be a good listener.’ thought Macintosh.

‘Isn’t that one of the things you’d want in a stallion? Somepony who’ll listen to your gabbing?’ replied another thought.

‘No, no, no- this is not the time nor the place. I cannot think about that right now.’

Macintosh's mind suddenly wanted very much to be distracted from thinking. Anything that might make the mind inside the stallion think about something other than... whatever might be lead on by what Rarity liked in a pony. Highly improper. ‘Talk about something!’

“Uh... so what do you think this is?” asked Macintosh. “Some kind of bizarre dream? A spell?”

Rarity didn’t have the foggiest, her mind originating as an earth pony and therefore all the terms about that sort of thing might as well have been in Fancy or Latin or something.
“A curse?” she suggested.

“Don’t be silly, there are no such things as curses.” replied Macintosh. “Still, who would want to do something like this?”

Rarity squinted, trying to remember.
“Maybe that curly pony that pulls pranks and hangs out with you and AJ’s other friends. What’s her name… ‘Plinky’?”

“Pinkie Pie? I don’t know… Something like this for her would be a bit brash. Perhaps Rainbow Dash if anypony, but something like this doesn’t quite seem to be her caliber (or scale) of a prank either.”

Rarity said nothing, not knowing enough about Applejack’s friends to make any further speculation. Macintosh tried not to think about the things that came with being a stallion. ‘Talking seems to distract me enough.’ he thought. He looked at Rarity, and noted she was a little behind.
“Perhaps I should slow down.”

“Mmaybe.” said Rarity, catching up as Macintosh slowed his broad steps.

“I’m used to this pace, but not legs this long.” said Macintosh, looking down at his thick forelegs.

“It’s alright.” said Rarity, with a humored smile.

“Although, I could get used to this height. You can see farther like this,” said Macintosh happily, straightening his neck and looking ahead proudly. “Hmm.. but fitting a suit would take more material… and you have to duck for doorways…”

Rarity turned off the road and onto a narrow path between two close-together trees.
“This way.” she directed quietly.

“What’s up this way?” asked Macintosh, stopping.

“You’ll see.” said Rarity.

The space between the trees seemed small but it was perfectly wide enough for Rarity to pass through with more than enough space for her hair. Macintosh followed, and the space was easily large enough for him as well. Rarity lead up a path that twisted back and forth up the steep side of a hill, lined with small bushes that mostly had thistles in them, until the path lead to the rounded top of a hill, and only as Macintosh crossed onto it did he see what they came for. It was like the view from the tall hill on Sweet Apple Acres, but with fewer trees in the way, and the sun was just beginning to peep over the verge of the mountains. It cast a spectacular glory on every glancing edge of everything in sight and painting the sky in whispy broad strokes of pink and gold. Macintosh gasped.

“How… marvelous…!”

“Eeyup.”

“However did you find this place?”

“When you grow up on a farm, you tend to explore when you’re little.” said Rarity.

Macintosh chuckled at her irony.
“I’m not the little one here, am I?”

“Nope.” said Rarity calmly, still looking at the sunrise. They both sat there for several minutes, watching in awe as the sun climbed out of the horizon and found its place in the early morning sky.

“…Beautiful.” said Macintosh.

“Eeyup.” said Rarity, sounding a tiny bit distracted. Macintosh turned and saw Rarity as she sat, looking at her front hoof. Macintosh did likewise and exhaled gruffly.

“I must say it was an unwelcome awakening. You’re not one who has the keenest eye for cleanliness.” said Macintosh, slowly accelerating his rate of speech. Rarity frowned, not sure is what she was hearing was an insult or a critique. “Look at this hoof, the edge uneven, and the hair on your pasterns looks like you’ve hardly touched them ever. Have you even heard of a hooficure? And this smell, a hint of dirt and sweat and apple tree bark is your entire world. It’s like you don’t even bathe.” finished the stallion, pinching his nose.

“That there body bathes each and every day.” said Rarity, stomping her hoof.

“Where?” said Macintosh. “I saw your bathroom, you only have one tub and it’s only big enough for your sisters of grandmother.”

“The river west of the Farm.”

“The West River?” said Macintosh, eyes wide. “Isn’t that the one that comes from a glacier?”

“Cold spring on the mountainside, but it warms a bit by the time it reaches town.”

“That water would still be freezing cold!”

“Yup.” said Rarity, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Well no wonder you’re so thick…skinned.” said Macintosh, looking at his hide again. “And don’t get me started on this mane. It will take me all day at the spa and salon to fix this up. That is, if Twilight can’t change us back immediately.”

 “Hol’ on, who said you could ‘fix me up’?” Rarity stood, for the first time seeming bothered by Macintosh’s suggestion. “Ah’m at least giv’n you the courtesy of not goin’ back to the house, puttin’ on the ol’ pullin’ yoke and-”

“You will do no such thing!” exclaimed Macintosh.

“Why shouldn’t Ah? ‘Splain why Ah should let you take my body t’the spa?” said Rarity quickly.

“‘Why should you go to the spa.’” repeated Macintosh sarcastically. “Do you even look at yourself in the mirror?” he ended honestly.

“From what you already said Ah think it’s clear that Ah don’t,” Rarity said flatly. “At least not to the satisfaction of yer persnickidyness.”

“I didn’t mean it that way.” said Macintosh. He continued, pushing his hoof through his mane. “Of course there’s a lot of work that needs to be done to sharpen all this up…”

“Hmph.” sneered Rarity.

“But beneath all that, Big Macintosh is, well, he’s a pretty fine specimen.”

“Huh?”

“Long straight hair, a smooth jaw line, tall, rugged, chiseled muscles,” listed Macintosh with considerable self-pleasure. “Any half-sensible stallion should be envious to look at a form like this, if I do say so myself. Not to mention easy on the eye for any given mare...” He looked down from his own analysis and saw Rarity looking back with a rather simple look, much like any sort of regular expression Big Macintosh would wear, but was blushing all over her face, like her head had become a purple-maned ripe cherry. Macintosh wondered how often the actual stallion blushed under his red coat and nopony could visibly tell. “Oh pish-posh Macintosh, it’s just my fashion’s eye speaking.” said the stallion.

The mind inside the unicorn had never been flattered like that before. Rarity noticed how she was staring, feeling the warmth of her face. She looked away, avoiding his eyes.

“Don’t say you’ve never thought about yourself that way before?”

“Nope. Well… er..” She pressed her lips shut, not wanting to continue. Macintosh recognized the look.

“I see Applejack isn’t the only Apple who has a hard time lying.” he said with a little smirk. Rarity sighed.

“Ah never thought much of myself like that. Ah know if Ah did, most of it’d be true-”

“Oh, all of it’s true.” said Macintosh, looking at his flank as he gave it a little shake.

“Hey, stop that.” said Rarity. “Ah never think about it much ‘cause what’s under th’surface is more ‘mportant than jus’ the skin.”

“I suppose,” he replied. “But you can’t say yourself that you’ve never given at least a sideways glance at a nice-looking mare.” said Macintosh. Rarity blushed intensely again. She averted her gaze by looking downward, but suddenly caught herself looking at her own body, and looked out at the sky.

“Is this making you uncomfortable?”

Rarity cautiously looked back to Macintosh and gave a slow nod. Macintosh sighed quietly and looked to the sky. The both of them sat there poignantly, while the sun started to warm the air around them.

“Alright then, the sun’s risen now, we’ve waited.” said Macintosh. “We should go to Twilight’s, see what she can make of this.”

“Eeyup.” said Rarity, standing. She started down the path on the other side of the knoll.

“Lead on, Big Mac.” said the stallion. The unicorn stopped.

“Wait- Ain’t Ah in your body?”

“..Yes.” replied Macintosh.

“Then shouldn’t you call me Rarity?” said Rarity.

“Well, I suppose that depends on if I want to address you, or the mind inside.”

Rarity gave an unusual look upwards before turning back towards the path.

“This is gonna be confusin’.”

By the time the two reached town, the sun had risen much farther and the earlier risers of Ponyville had begun setting up shops or opening sale-stands. Big Macintosh and Rarity were the only two passers-by as they walked. Around a corner, a third pony watched through a pair of silver-shaded binoculars, hiding by the edge of a short brick wall.

“Aha!” exclaimed Trixie, finally finding her subjects. “There they are… The Great and Powerful Trixie has-! Wait, where are they going?”

She shadowed the two at a distance, following them until they reached the great old tree of the Library. Macintosh knocked gently on the door, and from inside Twilight’s voice spoke.

“Spike, can you get the door?”

Soft footsteps approached, until the door swung partly open and Spike the dragon immediately saw Rarity standing on the doorstep, her form silhouetted by the morning’s brilliance.

“Morning Rarity!” he said with a wide smile. He let the door swing farther, and it revealed Big Macintosh standing beside the petite white unicorn, casting a shadow over Spike. “..Oh, hey Big Mac.” he said, with his excitement somewhat dampened.

“Spike, we have a little problem.” said Macintosh, with a hitherto unexpected clarity in his accent. Spike raised an eyebrow, as Twilight joined behind him.

“Good morning Rarity,” greeted the lavender unicorn. “Hello Big Macintosh.”

“Mornin’.” drawled Rarity. Macintosh looked down and frowned sharply at the unicorn.

“Spit that out right now!” he demanded. Rarity quickly spat out a small stalk of barley that was clutched between her teeth. Twilight raised her eyebrow.

“Uh… is there something going on between you two?” she asked.

“Well…” started Rarity.

“Yeah?” encouraged Twilight.

“That is to say…” began Macintosh.

“What?”

“…It’s a little weird.” they said simultaneously.

Trixie watched as the two entered the Library, watching through her binoculars over a hedge.

“Curses!” she spat. “The love spell failed.” She sank down, taking shelter from sight in somepony’s garden. Her narrowed expression faded as she thought. ‘However…their minds have been switched. That should at least make them spend time with one another; that unicorn was a fashion type. She won’t want any cart-pulling stallion’s mind to mess up her mane. And if they spend time together… anypony knows it will make them fall for each other anyways! Ehe he he he!’

“…So we agreed to come here, and that brings us up to the present.” finished Macintosh.

“D’you have any idea what this is?” asked Rarity.

Twilight stood, thinking hard on the discourse Macintosh had given. Her horn glowed and books began flying off shelves in all different directions, trailing sparkles and sorting by category, every so often parading in front of her to flip through a few pages as she searched. “Hmm.. It’s obvious that it’s some…” Her voice began to carry a peculiar enchanting rhythm as she began to sing.

“Some kind of mind replacement, brain transplacement,

“…No.” said Twilight as she coursed through the pages of an ornate purple book, her ears sinking down. She perked up again, stopping on one page. “But I think I may have a lead. Spike, I need everything on all those things I just said.”

Spike stood, slightly intimidated by her instruction and the complex of books hovering just above his head.

“…Right.” he said dutifully. He began flipping through a few books within arm's reach. Parchments and books swam around Twilight as she looked back at Rarity and Macintosh.

“This might take a while. Have you had breakfast? I have some fruit salad in the kitchen.” she offered with a smile.

“That sounds wonderful, thank you so much Twilight, I hate to be a bother.” said Macintosh.

“It’s no trouble,” said Twilight, parsing through a thick scroll. “Considering the things Rarity has done for me, I probably owe her.”

“Much ‘obliged.” said Rarity.

The two stepped down the stairs out of Twilight’s flurry of documents in her study, and went to the kitchen. A large bowl of fruits had been prepared and sat on the island counter. Rarity served two bowls and eased herself onto one of the stools.

“Come to think of it, I’m starved.” said Macintosh, looking eagerly at the salad as he sat. “And the more I think about it, the hungrier I am.” He took a bite out of the fruit salad, chewing somewhat daintily but quickly. “I feel like I could eat a whole Royal Buffet, this is outrageous. How can you stand it?”

“Ah eat when AJ, Apple Bloom an’ Granny get up an’ make breakfast. We all eat together.” said Rarity. They both paused, looking at their bowls of food.

 “Is there a specific way I should eat this?” asked Macintosh.

“Not really,” said Rarity. She eyed a nearby spoon. “..Should Ah eat fancy-like?”

“You mean with proper table-manners? Yes.” said Macintosh. Rarity took the spoon, carefully starting into her salad. Macintosh looked at his food again. “You’re certain you don’t have a specific manner of eating? No special diet?”

“Jus’ dig in.” said Rarity as she ate. Macintosh looked curiously at the unicorn across from him. Rarity returned his look. “There ain’t nothin’ special to it.”

“Well I’m a bit… hesitant… to-”

“Ah may not eat as mussed-up as AJ, but you gotta be at least a lil’ bit curious what’s like.” said Rarity, eying Macintosh. “Think practical-like: when’s the next time yer gonna get the opportunity t’pig out?”

“‘Pig out’?” said Macintosh, short of disgusted. Rarity had summarized exactly what the mind inside the stallion was thinking. Rarity looked at Macintosh as she set her spoon down and threatened to demonstrate, lowering her face nearer to her bowl with a smile.

“Don’t you dare.” said Macintosh adamantly.

Rarity stopped and set the bowl down, still watching Macintosh overcome his mental battle as he stared at his food. ‘Well Rarity, when’s the next time you’ll have licence to be so uncouth?’ he thought. ‘Might as well give it a try.’ He bent down and took a bite of the salad. It was far sweeter than he expected, and satisfying to the taste. With another few bites, Macintosh was gobbling the contents of the bowl and before Rarity could have a fourth spoonful of her portion, the stallion had finished and served himself some more.

 “Hgh, I can see why Applejack loves eating like this,” said Macintosh with a partly full mouth and droplets of fruit juice trickling down his cheeks. “This is fun!”

“Usually is, first thing in th’mornin.  Though Ah ain’t usually a mess-maker like that.” chuckled Rarity.  She pointed with the spoon to some melon and slices of strawberry that had ended up on the table beside the bowl. Macintosh gave a nervous laugh as Rarity passed him a small cloth to wipe his face.

“I’m not used to fruit being this sweet- why does it taste so good?” he said.

“Ah don’t eat much fruit- eatin’ apples is eatin’ profits, the way Ah see it. Eatin’ from the garden is what it’s there for, though AJ don’t hold herself t’that as much.” said Rarity.

“What do you normally eat for breakfast?”

“Whatever’s there. Oatmeal, crisp, hearty trail mix, carrots,”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“Beets, potaters-”

“You mean you-” Macintosh pointed, then stopped and pointed at himself. “This pony actually eats those dreadful bitter things?”

“Plenty ah’ starch an’ minerals,” said Rarity amiably. “Plus they’re nice mashed, like savory puddin’.”

“Well you will eat no such things while you are in my body.” said Macintosh resolutely. “I demand that you continue to eat my normal diet, if at the very least to avoid indigestion.”

“Well then you gotta eat my normal diet.” said Rarity, reflecting his tone haughtily.

“Fine.”

An awkward moment passed as they stared at each other. Rarity looked down, pondering at their exchange.

“Miss Rar-err,” she started, before stopping abruptly. Spike walked through the doorway, pulled a bottle of ink out of a drawer by the sink and left again, eying Rarity with a peculiar expression that her mind had no idea how to interpret. Macintosh saw right through Spike’s confusion of her former crush.

“Rarity, we’re gonna hav’ta get along if we’re not intendin’ to drive each other ‘round the bend by days’ end.” she continued.

“Very well, but what do you propose we do until Twilight can come up with a solution to…” Macintosh gestured to all of himself. “…This…”

“Well you could do th’work Ah was gonna do today.”

“I’d rather not.” said Macintosh immediately. “Which reminds me, I was going to the spa with- Aha, I do have plans today. Or rather, you do. I go to the spa every week with Fluttershy,” Rarity suddenly had a very shocked look on her face and gulped loudly. “And you wouldn’t want to be held responsible for holding that up now, would you?”

Rarity’s eyes were as wide as saucers.
“W-w-with F-Fluttershy? J-just the tw-”

“Of course not, Big Mac.” replied the stallion, putting his hoof through his mane. “I don’t think I could stand another moment in this body without the foreknowledge that it’s going to get at least a proper bath and hair trimmed.”

“B-b-but!-”

“No buts’. We are going to the spa and that’s final.” said Macintosh matter-of-factly.

“Well- Then-! Then yer’ gonna till the corn field today.” said Rarity solidly.

“Till?”

“Yoke you up an’ drag the ol’ scrapin’ harrow up an’ down the field, churnin’ the soil.”

“‘Churning the soil’? How revolting, I refuse.” said Macintosh, looking to the side.

“If you won’t, Ah will.”

Macintosh glared at Rarity.

“You. Wouldn’t. Dare.” said Macintosh as strongly as he could. Rarity stared back with mischievous eyes that looked uncannily similar to an expression Applejack might have. He wasn’t sure if he was more afraid of that than the risk of Rarity’s mane being ruined.

“Try me.” said Rarity with a smile. She chewed and spat to the side all-too expertly, hitting the interior of a trashcan like a spittoon. Macintosh bit his lip as he looked at the imperilled fabulosity of the unicorn. Their staring contest lasted only a moment.

“Alright, you win!” he yelled. “I’ll try my hoof at…*gulp* farming…” said Macintosh, defeated. He put his face in hooves, leaning over the counter.

“Sheesh, it ain’t so bad.” said Rarity, standing and walking to the other end of the counter. “Besides, you’ll probl’y find it easy as pie usin’ my body.”

“I won’t enjoy it.” said Macintosh. Rarity shrugged with a friendly expression as if she didn’t care. “We’ll do all that…” he shuddered from tail to tip. “Ugh… dirty farm-work first, and then go to the spa afterward. Agreed?”

“Eyup.” said Rarity. She extended her hoof, and they shook.

Spike re-entered, a quill perched between the spines in his head, and carrying another book.
“You two finished eating?”

“Eeyup, Ah’m stuffed.” said Rarity. The two followed Spike as he led them back to the main room of the library.

“Come to think of it, that didn’t fill me at all.” said Macintosh.

“You can eat more in a little bit.” said Twilight, suddenly standing directly in front of Macintosh, pulling his head down with a cloud of magic and staring him between the eyes.

“Uh-” Rarity managed to utter, a measuring tape flying near and around her neck, legs and horn.

“Twilight, what are you-Ooh!” exclaimed Macintosh as another tape held by magic, flew and took measurements of the tall stallion and his various proportions.

“Sorry Big Ma… Rari… uh…”

“Big Marity?” suggested Spike, looking on from the stairwell. Twilight gave him a smirk, before returning to the book she had hovering nearby.

“I looked through all I could find on ‘personality’ and ‘replacement’ but there wasn’t much overlap between them.” She snapped the book shut. “‘Big Marity’, do you like farming?”

“I can’t say that I do.” said the stallion. Twilight’s quill scribbled something onto a notepad hovering beside her head.

“…‘Rarintosh’, can you use magic?”

“Huh?” The unicorn was taken aback at the question and tried to look up at her horn, almost cross-eyed. “Ah didn’t even notice any of it.”

“But can you use it?” asked Twilight. Rarity strained even harder trying to look at her horn.

“…How?” she said, giving up.

“Okay, Rarintosh isn’t getting any magical connection response, so that means Big Macintosh’s whole earth-pony spirit is still there. It hasn’t been morphed into a unicorn’s.”

“What about me?” said Macintosh worriedly. He started frantically pacing around the room, looking at different objects on the walls and shelves. “Do I still have my magic? I can’t sense it!”

“It’s probably still there, just innate.” said Twilight. “You’re still imagining how to manipulate things, right?”

“Yes but nothing’s happening!” he exclaimed, picking up Twilight, holding her high and tightly.

“Calm down, Marity!” Twilight gasped, through his fearful hug. He put her back down. “It’s still there, you just can’t use it for now.”

“So do you know what happened to them, Twilight?” asked Spike. Twilight pulled a long parchment closer and read it alongside her notebook.

“I initially suspected poison joke. But from what I can tell, that would’ve only changed them in a funny way, not actually switching their minds.”

“What’s th’ difference?” said Rarity. Twilight looked at her, and looked up with thought.

“..If Rarity was still Rarity except because of a spell she was acting like- er,”

“Applejack. Or her brother.” said Macintosh, looking rather dissatisfied at Rarity. Twilight continued.

“Then why would she care about the pony she was resembling? I’ve noticed how you’ve been moving around, Rarintosh. You’re moving more carefully than Rarity does because you’re worried about bumping into anything with a body that you don’t think is yours.”

“Talk about an ‘out-of-body experience’.” said Spike. Twilight eyed him for his quip, then returned to her notes.

“Do you remember anything from yesterday that might have caused this?”

“That’s strange…” began Macintosh. “I feel as though I do recall, but I can’t remember exactly what happened. What about you.. er… Rarintosh?”

The little white unicorn put her hoof up to her chin and thought, before she set it back down, shaking her head.
“Nope.”

Twilight began another flurry of scribbling.
“This will probably take me a little longer. If I can’t find anything, I’ll go see Zecora and see what she thinks.”

“I’d rather not have this all that publicized, Twilight.” said the stallion.

“I know, but Zecora has lots more knowledge about different kinds of magical or near-magical powers. If I can’t find a solution from her, I’ll send a letter to the Princess about it. She should be able to find something in the Royal Library.”

“How long’d that take?” asked the unicorn.

“Probably all day, more or less.” said Twilight, glancing at a day-planner. “I’ll work as fast as I can.” she said, looking back at them confidently.

“Besides!” said Spike, hopping down in front of Big Macintosh. “If you don’t want anypony to know about it, you’d have to pretend to actually be Big Macintosh.” he pointed.

Macintosh looked forwards with a raised eyebrow.
“…An’ speak laik this?” he drawled.

“I guess. Rarintosh, try to speak like Rarity would.” suggested Spike.

“…Ah guess- er.. I can try, dar-ling.” said Rarity awkwardly. Her eyes flitted, estranged with the attempt, and she walked back into the kitchen. Twilight’s mouth was pressed shut trying not to laugh.

“Regardless of if I can keep this a secret or not, I want to be out of this body as fast as possible.” said Macintosh. He held his forehoof as far away from his head as he could. “You have absolutely no idea what it’s like.”

“Haha, I’m sure I don’t!” laughed Twilight. “I’m sure I’ll never know what it’s like to be a stallion! Ha ha ha!”

Rarity returned, carrying a small brown thing, which she took and showed to Spike.

“Spike, would it be okay if Ah- er, ‘Marity’ had this?”

“Sure, I guess.”

“Here.” Rarity gave it to Big Macintosh and he held it up.

“An entire loaf of bread?”

“Ev’ry calorie you eat you burn the same day. You’ll need it, unless you wanna feel groggy all mornin’.” said Rarity.

“If I get tired, can’t I just have a nap like Applejack?” said Macintosh.

“In th’ middle of a field?” replied Rarity with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh.. er-”

“Be my guest. A’course if you fall asleep with gear on, you’ll sink in the mud a lil’.”

“That’s the last thing I would want.”

“You wouldn’t get stuck.” shrugged Rarity. She bumped the stallion in the leg. “Jus’ a mite bothersome ‘cause by the time you finish the field all the mud dries on yer hooves an’ feels all funny.”

The stallion stared a very grim look at Rarity.

“...Give me that.” he said quickly, snatching the loaf.