"Alrighty, class!" Twilight stepped into the room populated by the entirety of Crew-T. Butter Knife struggled against her restraints. "Today, we're learning about the proper etiquette of keyboard-slamming."
Emily raised a brow. The bubblegum bubble she was blowing popped. "What if we already do that every day?"
"I've seen your livestreams, Emi. You need to stop destroying keyboards. This is why I've forcefully kidnapped you and the others and brought you all here."
"Oh."
"So--" Twilight brought a keyboard out from under the podium and dropped it in front of her. "This is a keyboard. You may be wondering now; how does one properly slam a keyboard?" She lifted a hoof above the device. "Now, observe."
She proceeded to curbstomp the keyboard in half. The two Lisas cringed.
"There are, of course, other ways to go about it," Twilight stepped aside, letting a visibly-annoyed Spike sweep up the remains of her most recent victim. "And on top of that, there are also many causes for why one may wish to slam a keyboard."
Sweetie Giraffe raised a hoof. "IS BECAUSE KEEB TOO SMOL?"
"Yes," Twilight dodged Sweetie Giraffe's eye-lasers. "That is a valid reason. Any others?"
Slissa raised a hand. "What about if you made a stupid mistake in a game in front of a live audience?"
Emily made a face at her friend for the obvious callout. Slissa smirked in return.
"Also valid."
"Wait--" Emily raised a hoof. "Didn't you just tell me that you brought me here because I need to stop destroying keyboards? You just barely destroyed one yourself!"
"It's the etiquette that we're focusing on, Emi. Not everyone feeds their keyboard into an industrial wood-chipper after losing a game of go-fish on the internet."
"Fine." Emily folded her forelegs. Man, that's still a weird thing to type instead of 'folded her arms'.
"As I was saying," Twilight continued, "There is a proper and improper etiquette to the slamming of keyboards. Emily here has demonstrated the improper etiquette in the past. Proper etiquette in the art of keyboard-slamming involves enacting physical harm upon the device under your own strength, such as when I earlier trampled my own keyboard. Does anybody else have an example of what constitutes as proper etiquette?"
Slicey Dicey raised a hoof. "Picking apart every component and dissolving them separately in large vats of acid?"
"Mmm, you're getting there."
Plissa raised a hand. "How about slapping someone else with the keyboard?"
It took a moment for Twilight to think about such a scenario. "...Yes, I believe that would still be proper, as even though the physical harm comes from the harming of others with the keyboard, it is still under your own strength."
Plissa silently cheered at her own ingenuity.
"My, would you look at the time!" Twilight pulled a watch from behind the podium. "It's time for the author to go to bed! Class is dismissed. Thank you for attending!"
And so everyone left. Except Butter Knife. Butter Knife is still strapped down to her chair.