//------------------------------// // This Strange New World // Story: Heading Weast for the Winter // by Split Scimitar //------------------------------// “Uh, Max? Everything okay?” “Why wouldn’t it b…” I say but quickly stop myself. Normally locked brakes and skidding tires would suffice, but this? I don’t even sound like myself. “Sunset?” I ask, still shocked out of my wits at this “vocoder” voice. “What is this?” “You’re a… Nirik.” She responds, seemingly unsure of herself. “Say again?” “I’ve only heard of them. I guess I’m getting my first experience with one.” “Dare I say I’m hideous?” I say, mostly to myself. “You’re… different at least.” “Thanks.” I respond with an eye roll, the new layer in my voice making for a good added effect both literally and figuratively. “Sorry…” Sunset says with a visible blush forming. “I wonder if Princess Twilight will be okay seeing you.” “By the way you called me a Nirik, was it? Sounds like I’m not exactly a… welcome member of society.” “Well, I haven’t ever seen one before, and the legends surrounding them are rather… unflattering.” “Well, if I’m a dangerous beast, you should probably find a way to contain me.” “You’re a beast, not a virus.” “That aged well.” She instantly shies and looks away in disappointment. “I really hate you.” “Thanks.” I reply with a hearty chuckle. “Maybe I should say ‘cage me’ instead?” I say as we slowly find our way around what appears to be a crystalline structure. “Stop talking. I hope you know that your normal sense of humor won’t fly here in Equestria.” “Ha! Won’t fly.” She only grumbles in response. “Calm down. Joke’s on you, but I’m still the butt of the joke.” “Look at you, even when you hop worlds and change species, you’re still the reject you are.” “Look who’s talking. The only one who can tolerate you, or, well, me, is, in fact, me.” “It really is a wonder how you survived.” “Whoa!! Back the fuck up! This is NOT the place.” Suddenly, the lights come on and I wince, my growl sending chills down Sunset’s spine. As my vision adjusts, I look around and find a third figure at the light switch. “Sunset?” The familiar voice of Starlight calls. “Starlight!” She responds as they embrace. Figuring I’m a bit of a dangerous variable, I gently settle onto one of my sides and sigh. While the two of them catch up, I take the time to admire my form. Finding a mirror, I right myself and both figuratively and literally check myself out. My hooves aren’t exactly visible, being covered by fire red fetlocks. Otherwise, the rest of my body is matted (not quite matte) black, with the exception of my back, which appears to be covered with scales, and my mane, which is white hot, with “reverse-frosted” tips of about the same shade of red as my fetlocks. “Maybe it isn’t *all* that bad.” I think to myself. “Max?” Starlight calls as they both walk toward me. “Would you like to join us?” “Shouldn’t you put me in a cage or something?” “No!” Starlight shouts taken completely aback. “We have a lot of Kirin in attendance at my school. And… actually, I’ll be right back.” She then runs off as I join Sunset. “Is she gonna get one?” “Stop that!” She snaps back trying so hard not to laugh. “I know you want to. I don’t mind either.” The blush on her face is all I need to see. With Starlight pulling the wagon, I climb in and reel in a mini victory. Why? I don’t have to walk. As I enjoy my view sat in a loaf, I look around and see a few ponies and other creatures that bother to lock eyes with me scowl, grimace, and actively try to look away, or at least try not to make it look like they’re staring. The few that maintain eye contact for more than a brief moment or two give me mixed to almost murderous expressions, though I’m not the keenest reader of eyes. Nevertheless, as I get paraded around Ponyville, I wait until everypony else is out of earshot before asking where we’re going. By the looks of things, we’re heading away from Ponyville, but where would we go? My answer comes moments later, when after napping (against my wishes), we arrive at what is surely Sweet Apple Acres. How can I tell? The abundance of trees, and the presence of both Apple Bloom and Big Mac, both carrying saddle bags along with baskets atop their barrels. “Hi Starlight!” AB calls returning to the house. “Whatcha got there?” “Oh, one of my friends is stuck as a Nirik, so we caged him and put a spell on the cage in case he flares up.” I only chuckle to myself as the other Apples come out to see me. Apple Bloom and her sister slowly approach the cage. My companions then watch them as I stare at them head on. Unlike what I can only assume is the old, superseded view, I could flare up in front of them, but it would be purely out of mischief. Taking a more neutral approach, I growl slightly, letting the new natural enhancements do all the work. Applejack stops dead in her tracks, but Apple Bloom for some reason seems to portray a new, unforeseen emotion. Pity. Trotting towards Starlight, she then eyes Sunset and has her reach a hoof out to me. Squeezing it into the cage, she then says with her eyes to join hooves. Her eyes then glow white, leading me to assume she’s reading my memories. When she exits the vision, she sighs in exasperation as I try and give her beady eyes, though it’s pretty close to impossible to convey anything in my eyes. “Some demons from his past have been tormenting him.” Sunset then says to both Apple daughters. “Is it at all related to…” Applejack then pauses, before half-mouthing, half-whispering, “his accident?” “S… some of it.” Sunset responds on my behalf, briefly eyeing me. “There are also other issues in his life at present.” “Well…” Applejack begins hesitantly, “I can understand the second part, but I’ve offered everythin’ I can about the accident.” She finishes rather sympathetically. I then stand on all fours, but only to stretch. Everypony however gives me their undivided attention, so in response, I sit back down and plead innocence, afraid of drawing more attention to myself. “Wait,” Big Mac calls with little raising of his voice. “Can we get him to light a fire?” “Can you do that?” Sunset asks. I only nod. With a palpable tension in the air as I’m released from the cage, the Apples lead me to a large stack of neatly stacked wood. Atop the rows are pots, most filled with appear to be either oil or water. Deciding not to ask any questions, I suddenly realize I can’t just summon fire by will. Holding out each of my hooves individually, even trying to use sheer brainpower to summon it up. After about 40 seconds of trying, I get fed up with myself. Holding back the urge to scream, for fear of looking like a failure, I try one more time and notice a magic field conjuring up just above my eyes. As I try and focus on it, I try and manipulate it just so, but no such luck. Finally, I try the last thing I can think of. Brute force. Well, mentally. So, channeling my anger at how… certain turns of events have effectively put me (and so many others) out of work, out of our livelihoods, out of our way of life… “STOP!!!!” Before long, not only is the wood on fire, but also the immediate area surrounding it, with some other parts of the yard, including where I’m standing, charred with burn scars that would make anyone with even the slightest spot for forests cry. Immediately, I survey the damage and take off like a bat out of a wet market hell. I’m not a long distance runner by any means, but the only thing I can do is run. Run like I’ve never run before. Like my relatives who threatened to kill me because I didn’t submit to their will of ‘medical/dental/law school, crazy rich is still piss poor, money is the only love you’ll ever know.’ I know I said I was trying to forget about them, but the fact of the matter is they are the people who raised me. The people who gave me a home, a life, and yes, even love. Well, until they found out I didn’t want to go into any of the professions they said. It’s not that easy to just let them go. When my adrenaline subsides and I finally start to tire out, I find some possible places to hide. Hoping I don’t leave too much of a trail behind me, I make do with what I have. I only sigh before I say to myself, “Why do I destroy everything I touch?” “Come on, you know that’s not true.” “Really? Did you see the trail of destruction?” “It wasn’t that bad.” “I know; yada yada yada, could’ve been worse, blah blah blah. Point is I have a lot of destructive energy, and I now know how powerful it is. Also how easily I get angered. I can’t be trusted with energy like this.” “Before you go blaming the portal or even fate for this, it may also be a good thing. Consider what you used to get that fire. You’re not the only one who’s suffering. People have lost jobs, people have had to change their lives and do things they never thought they would have to. That anger is far from unfounded. But how dare you compare yourself to those who have lost a loved one. You do not deserve to even be considered a part of that conversation.” “Timeout.” “Tell me I’m wrong! So ungrateful.” You can imagine that I’m flaring up both figuratively and literally with each word that pierces me. From me. “Max!” I faintly hear. Just as I prepare to bolt again, I stop, both out of fear of blowing my cover and where my only escape route is. I’m not afraid of deep, dark forests by any means, but this? Even in daylight, I have my doubts. I try to move again, but no amount of force, fiddling, or flexion can overpower whatever gravity field surrounding me has rendered me immobilized. “Come on!” I grunt to myself just as Shimmy and Glimmy come into view, each of their horns alight. “Everything okay?” Starlight asks. I want to answer her, but I’m literally rendered silent as Sunset stares me down with disappointment and some underlying anger. Combined spell still pinning me, Sunset touches me again, and upon emerging from the replay, she only says to me, “We need to talk.” After I get put back in my cage, I try and suppress any of my inclinations that elicit a strong emotional reaction, even the good ones. If I can suppress anything, it’ll be a good thing, since let’s be honest, the only reason people get angry is because of emotional attachment. When we get to what I can only assume is Starlight’s residence, I tactfully pay attention as I’m let out of the cage and am led through the entrance to a room somewhere off the main hallway. Starlight and Sunset then shut and stand by the door, immediately asking questions. “I… I just don’t know what to say.” Starlight begins. “I do,” Sunset responds immediately. “Max, I know how you’re all about what you’ve termed “forced optimism.” Yes, you’re lucky to be where you are. Yes, you have every right to be upset at everything. But to blame yourself for being ungrateful?” I want to respond, but I’m too consumed both by my own self-loathing and the expectation that Sunset will continue. “It may be unfair for you to complain about losing business given your circumstances. However, it is also completely unfair for you to say you have no right to complain. Look, I know it’s hard. I myself am having doubts about my future, but what can I do? Almost everything I can do has been done, and what isn’t is out of my control. The exact same applies to you.” “Sunset,” Starlight then asks meekly, “can you fill me in? I want to be a part of this conversation as much as you are.” “Do you mind, Max?” I only shake my head and gesture “please do” with my hooves. As Sunset gets Starlight up to speed, I hear a whisper of, “Oh, boo fucking hoo. Woe is you. You think you’re being oppressed?? Cry me a goddamn river.” “Max,” Starlight begins, “I don’t want to sound like I’m downplaying your situation, but I also want to offer any help I can. I don’t think I have much to offer, since we’re rather literally worlds apart (except for right now), but at the very least, I want to be a shoulder to cry on.” “Allow me to say,” Sunset then adds before I can respond, “you have us as well as the others. I know we all have lives and to you it feels like we have to stop everything, but I can promise you, at least with the two of us, we’d much rather play catch-up with our work than potentially deal with disastrous consequences at an interpersonal level. And I mean that in both worlds.” “Look,” I begin, still not entirely used to my new vocals. “I completely understand what you’re saying, and I know I’ve heard those speeches more times than I’ll comfortably admit, but I also know that there’s no way I can conquer that impulse of “I’m imposing” or “wasting your time”. It’s how I was raised, and consequently part of my moral code. I’m not going to bore you with the spiritual stuff surrounding it because I can sum it up as “why would you drag everyone else down with you when all you can do is trust it’ll work out in the end?” “It’s not that easy.” Sunset responds. “I admit I’m a pretty spiritual person at the personal level, but I think that people who say that that’s all you have to do are pretty out of touch.” “Luckily for you two,” Starlight interjects, “one of our upper level friendship classes is covering that kind of thing.” “Toxic positivity?” I ask. “Yes. And I teach it. “Right now, we just finished talking about playing to one’s ego as part of potential signs of abuse. It’s pretty heavy stuff, but not unheard of here. We also covered the importance of more than just saying “it’ll be okay,” because that does nothing and usually makes it worse for the sufferer.” “As much as I hate to say it, I’d really rather not talk about it right now. I’ve dragged you down enough today.” “Stop that, Max.” Starlight chides concernedly. “That’s not a healthy mindset to have.” “Like it or not, in spite of my efforts to change or suppress it, it still comes out. It’s how I stay grounded, so forgive me if my efforts to avoid foolish optimism comes off as outright pessimism.” “You are one, but not in the strict sense.” Sunset says. “But I also know why you do. Aside from being a defense mechanism, your apparent pessimism is just a front for your cynicism. You cast your doubts on everything because it forces you to think logically. In a way, I appreciate that, because you answer the ‘why?’ questions for yourself rather than simply relying on “word of mouth.” It’s an admirable quality, at least to me.” “Thanks, I guess.” I respond, taking what I can only ascertain as a backhanded compliment with some modicum of grace. “It’s undoubtedly cynical, especially considering how it developed. That said, you saw what happened at Applejack’s. I can’t be trusted with this energy.” “You can blame the portal all you want, but it’s still your responsibility to exercise it.” Sunset reiterates from our earlier conversation. “I’m sure you’ll get used to it.” Starlight adds somewhat sheepishly. “It’s almost wintertime here, so maybe you can hone your… fire lighting skills.” “Thanks.” I reply with a chuckle.