Dearest citizens of the Crystal Empire,
I, Prince Sombra the first, inscribe this informal letter to serve as a reminder to myself of why I continue to bear the burden and undesirable title of prince. This title wields immense power and influence. This influence is exactly what I privately wish to avoid. Influence, power, obligation and overpowering responsibility are all hideous thorns that are disguised as badges of honor. Amongst these responsibilities and legal obligations I find little joy. Though my affectionate relatives are adequate in terms of family relations, they lack the sincerity and profound love that I privately desire.
The thorns of influence are lethal, and choke the life and emotions out of all who are thrown into the bushel. I have stood paralyzed as the few ponies I love are violently pulled away by those whom I serve. I observe from my place on high, contemplating the confound meaning and laws of life by which my masters live. Though the everyday, reminial lives of my beloved ponies are simple and tedious in nature, they are not held captive as I am. Instead, they are protected and free to experience life for all it has to offer. As royalty I am charged with providing this protection. To protect them from 'what' is the true question.
Their true emotions and heartfelt actions give their life purpose and excitement. It is such beauty that it drives me to the brink of insanity. I contemplate why such beauty and peace should be withheld from me. What had I done besides serving others? From birth my life had not been my own. I do as I am told and trained. I am the product of expert manipulation and dire need for control.
Resentment has evolved into a loving friend. A friend whom I attempt to accept. I shall never admit to my longing for such trivial things as love. However, I cannot deny the yearning of my very soul. The mask of serenity that I wear everyday seemingly procures a vast amount of weight. My iron gaze and stone cold posture, a result of my upbringing, are shallow and only a veil to conceal my true distress. I am always told that “following my heart” will only bring ultimate destruction. I am obliged to believe such sentiments, and am seemingly coerced into a radical belief in my parents and their heavenly mission.
I scoff more often than naught at their lack of tact when they approach their subordinates. Great leaders, yes, well versed and wise magicians, indisputable, but empathetic and emotionally aware, certainly not. I now realize as I continue to write, that such pitiful tangents as the one I have just completed are futile and a waste of time. The purpose of this entry was to hopefully convince myself that I have a reason to fight. More than once I have been tempted to take my leave from royalty, and to run away to the rumored lands of Equestria. These sinful thoughts only deepen my growing despair.
The mysterious hoof of fear itself seems to press against my skull. Forcing me to gradually abandon my true self, and to morph into the king I am destined to become. I wasn't always the way I am now. I was once mischievous, adventurous, and overflowing with joy. I continue to hold out hope that one day that side may return to the forefront of my pitiful existence, and that it will save me from the dark fate that awaits me.
Though this letter has caused great distress, it has also granted clarity. I have come to peace with the fact that I will never experience true joy or love. However, what I can do is protect those who are lucky enough to have such luxuries. Alongside the loneliness and freezing cold sadness, there is also the warmth of purpose. The ponies of the Crystal Empire deserve happiness and safety, and it is my duty as prince to provide this for them. If there is one thing in life I will retain, it is my honor and my sovereign duty to my ponies. Though informal and ridiculous, this letter has realigned my values. I may continue to write these letters, in hopes of regaining who I ounce was.
May the ponies of my kingdom remain ever so innocent and beautiful.
With hope for the future,
Prince Sombra