“So, ‘Whinnyapolis’, huh?” Ellie said, as she accepted one of the plates of carrot cake Twilight was distributing with her aura. “I heard that was pretty far north, wasn’t it?”
“Oh, yes,” agreed Fluttershy, gently putting down the teacup in her wing. “But when I got that letter asking for help with an orthros that suddenly started acting up, I just had to do what I could! Poor little thing was just experiencing his first Whinnyapolis autumn, and all he needed was a cute little sweater. It gets really cold up there, don’tcha know!“
“Yeah, our version’s like that, too!” Ellie chuckled, remembering her friend Lauren’s favorite topic of how neither she nor anypony on the East Coast had ever seen a day of real winter in their lives.
Anybody. Damn it, Ellie, you’ve been here too long.
“But I’m glad to see you back! And I feel really honored that you invited me to this thing. I know you all really have a special bond with each other.”
Besides their shared history, there were many, many things that set her apart from Twilight, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.
“Oh, don’t think of it like that.” Fluttershy smiled. “You’re one of the girls now!”
Ellie smiled back. Though the first time she had ever heard those words and realized they meant to include her, she had winced. But eventually, she absorbed the fact that her short hair, allergy to feminine expression, and men’s dress shirt didn’t mark her as non-central to those words here. Nor to the female pronoun.
“Yeah, I really feel that! I’m taken aback at how readily you girls accepted me even though I’m not from your world.”
“Of course!” Fluttershy assured. “Though speaking of… um…” Fluttershy seemed hesitant. “I’ve always been curious about one thing about your world. I didn’t want to pry, though!”
“Ask away!” Ellie couldn’t imagine the demure pegasus saying boo to a goose, much less asking anything offensive to her.
“Is it true what Twilight said? That in your world, humans are the only animals that can think?“
“Yeah, that’s right!” Ellie laughed. “I mean, our non-human animals can think too, but definitely not the same way yours can.”
There was a bear lying on Fluttershy’s couch right now, quietly reading a book of all things.
“Doesn’t that get lonely?”
Ellie reflected. “Yeah, I think it does. It’s something that makes us think we’re the only species that matters. I don’t think it was good for us.” She looked at Fluttershy. “It must be nice, having so many animal friends.”
Of course, she didn’t really like the way that bunny that was always hanging around Fluttershy glared at her all the time, but besides that the animals were all nice.
“Oh, I wouldn’t know how I’d ever live without them!” Fluttershy agreed. “Without my furry friends book club, what would I even do on Wednesday evenings?”
As if on cue, a pair of birds refilled Ellie’s mug of tea.
“Thanks!” Ellie nodded, and the birds whistled in response.
“I kinda feel like a Disney princess, from a movie!” Ellie laughed to herself. “A few months ago I would have only said something like that ironically, but I can see the appeal of it now.”
“Oh, your world has princesses stories, too?” Rainbow Dash was excited. “What do they do? Do they invent a new magic— er, ‘science’ that goes on to help everycreature in your world? Resurrect a long-lost civilization?”
“Oh. Uh…” Ellie grimaced. “Well, most of them just…” She trailed off as she noticed the confused pony expressions around her. How was she going to explain this in a world where the word “princess” was synonymous with being of the highest authority, the highest power, the highest agency? Yeah, let’s just not get into that.
“Uh, let me just tell you about the one I liked growing up!”
She smiled as she thought of her favorite Disney princess movie, one that had spoken to her on so many different levels that it was actually kind of weird.
“There is this one, Mulan, which is about a girl that saves her kingdom by defeating an entire invading army!”
“Oh, cool!” said Rainbow Dash, this being clearly her speed.
“Yeah! It’s a great one.” Ellie smiled. “You see, her dad is conscripted to defend against the invaders, so Fa Mulan disguises herself as a human stallion to join the army in his place.”
“What?” Rainbow Dash was confused. “Why would she do that?”
“Oh, right!” Ellie realized. “It’s because her dad is getting old and frail, so she was afraid that he wouldn’t survive if he had to—”
“No, I meant, why would she have to disguise herself as a human stallion?”
Ellie was at a loss for an answer.
What was she going to say?
She wasn’t going to say that in her personal interpretation, becoming a common soldier to be fed into the meat grinder of war was hardly a triumphant moment of self-actualization, but rather the only way to escape an otherwise inescapable fate: Becoming an object possessed by a man. A womb that speaks, with even the speaking part conditional. A painted bird to display in the best case, and a set of callused hands to work and a strong back to burden in the worst.
She wasn’t going to say that had the mysterious force that brought her here had sent her back in time in her world instead, that she had long-standing plans to make a beeline for the nearest convent or Buddhist monastery or Sufi order, because while her own autonomy would never be respected, the authority of the local male deity might.
She wasn’t going to say that she had no reason to think of herself as strong and ingenious as the few women in history recorded as breaking those molds. Able to manipulate social situations to become the possession of a man with access to power she could use. Able to create commercial empires without the right to open her own bank account. Able to sleep in filthy men’s clothing every night because otherwise the French peasants she was leading would—
“It’s just a thing she had to do. Human mares just weren’t al— couldn’t be soldiers back then.”
She saw Rainbow Dash scratching her head with her wing.
“But they can now?”
She knew that the pegasus idolized Flash Magnus, and as a filly dreamed of being magically transported back to the Pre-Classical Age and fighting dragons alongside him. She knew that her mother never tried to worriedly turn her away from such bizarre things for a young girl to be thinking about.
“Yes, they can now.”
Not Ellie, though. Not with that pesky diagnosis of gender dysphoria from her senior year in college buried somewhere deep in her case history. Not that she could ever see herself wanting to in the first place, because she always had good enough prospects in life to never have to consider such a thing, with all the dangers involved. Dangers that also didn’t even exist here.
Ellie tried to change the subject.
“We’re still missing one, aren’t we?”
It showed how desperate she was because in truth, Ellie had kind of been relieved. She’d gotten off on the wrong foot with Applejack, and then had stepped on her feet a couple times more after that. Or stepped on her hooves?
“She said she’d get here on the noon train…” Twilight reflected. “Even with stopping back home, she should have gotten here by now!”
But Sweet Apple Acres was quite a ways out of town, and there was no way she would have been able to get there and then to the edge of the Everfree Forest by now, even at a pony gallop. Oh, right, it must be the other one. Rarity. Rainbow Dash all but confirmed.
“Oh, you know Rarity! She’s probably just fixing her mane so that it looks exactly the same as it did before, except it has one more twist that nopony notices!“
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, and Ellie laughed broishly. Femmes and their beauty routines, am I right? Totally not participating in femmephobic internalized misogyny by making such comments.
Wait, she actually might not be, at least in this world. Neat.
“Up top!” Ellie lifted her left fist, and Rainbow Dash clapped it with her hoof, neither of them needing to even glance at the other. Swag. Wait, the kids still say “swag”, right?
“Wait a minute…” interrupted Pinkie Pie suspiciously. She pulled up a filing cabinet out of somewhere and opened a drawer.
“Wait, where did that come from—”
“I have your file right here!” interrupted Pinkie, not answering Ellie’s question. She took out one of the pages from a plain manila folder and practically shoved it in Ellie’s face. It had a caricature of her face in the center, surrounded by six cutie marks with lines connecting them crossing this way and that.
“See Rarity’s?” Pinkie pointed a hoof at the three diamonds in one corner. “According to this, you’ve never even met her!”
It was true. Ellie could see there was no line between her face and the three diamonds, which was practically the only missing link in the entire graph criss-crossed with black lines. Wait, not all of them were black—
Before Ellie could figure that out, Pinkie suddenly took back the page. When she looked up, even the filing cabinet was already gone.
“But if you’ve never met her, how could you laugh at what Rainbow Dash said? Could it be that my information is… wrong?” Pinkie seized her temples with her hooves.
Ellie laughed. “I haven’t met her, but, you know, I’ve been hearing stories from you all! She sounds like a certain… type, in my world.“
“What?” Pinkie Pie was puzzled. “They have unicorns in your world?”
“What?” Now Ellie was puzzled. “No. I, uh, never mind.” She shook her head. “I was wondering, though. Why I’ve never had the chance to meet her before? You all sound really close!”
“Oh, you know!” Twilight said. “She’s been on the road a lot recently! She has boutiques in four different cities now, and friends from all over.“
“But Twilight!” interjected Pinkie. “She’s always had boutiques and friends in different cities! She’s only been away from Ponyville so much because of her—”
She stopped herself, then covered her mouth with her hooves. Ellie looked around. Fluttershy seemed nervous. Rainbow Dash was giving Pinkie an annoyed look. Twilight was frowning. Ellie felt as if she should not pry. So she changed the subject again, to something else she had been wondering.
“Where’s Applejack?”
Everypony looked at her. “Huh?”
“Oh, it’s just that the gang would be all here if Applejack were here too, right? I actually assumed she was the one missing at first.” Ellie indicated the empty chair closest to the cottage door.
Instead of an answer there was an awkward silence, but it did not last more than a beat, as said door swung open theatrically in a light blue aura.
“Mes chéries!”
A unicorn in a coat of brilliant white made her dramatic entrance. Her purple mane cascaded down in a single flowing spiral. Ellie wondered how many turns it normally had.
She approached Twilight first, being closest to the door.
“I am so désolée for being so late!”
Rarity kissed the air on either side of Twilight’s muzzle as she just sat still, confused. Wait, was that la bise?
“You will not believe the day that I’ve had! Quel calvaire!”
She melodramatically placed the back of her hoof on her forehead for good measure, then kissed the air on either side of Pinkie’s muzzle. Pinkie laughed.
“You would think les porteuses would have seen a lady’s travel trunk of a proper size before!”
Rarity moved on to Fluttershy, kissing the air on either side of her muzzle as Angel Bunny looked on suspiciously. Fluttershy cowered under a wing after.
“But after a pourboire généreux the gentilétalon finally agreed to make the space.“
Rarity did the same to Rainbow Dash, who rolled her eyes during, then crossed her forelegs and hmphed after.
“It almost felt transactionnelle!”
Without skipping a beat, Ellie leaned forward to press her right cheek against the right side of Rarity’s muzzle, gave the air a smack, then did the same with the left side.
Rarity stopped herself and gave her a curious look. Not looking away from her, she called.
“Twilight, chérie! I do believe I’ve never been introduced to this… um…”
“Human!” Twilight supplied. “Her name’s Ellie. I told you about her last time we talked, remember?”
“Oh, of course!” She gave a mild nod, a slight curtsy with her legs. “Enchantée.”
Ellie smiled.
“Pareille.”
Rarity gave her another curious look.
“Well, now I am most certainement trés deçue that I cannot stay!“ Rarity began making her way to the door, having rounded the table.
“But I plan to be in Ponyville more often from now on.”
She stopped at the door, and turned back to look at everypony and smiled.
“I do look forward to spending more time with you all, darlings!”
Ellie swore she made eye contact with her for a few microseconds at the end there. Rarity theatrically closed the door behind her as she left.
Silence reigned for a few moments.
“Huh…” Ellie exhaled, shifting her jaw to one side.
“Yeah, that was Rarity!” Twilight said apologetically. “Sorry about that, she always gets weird like this whenever she gets back from hanging around with her fancy friends.“
“Oh no, I didn’t mind,” Ellie said, head only half in the conversation. “She speaks French?”
“Oh, it’s called Prench, actually!” Twilight laughed. “I guess it’s just like how your ‘English’ is our Ponish. A fascinating correspondence, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it is,” Ellie said, still distracted. “’Prench’, huh?” Ellie smirked. “That’s funny.”
“Yeah, it’s what they speak in the Pays des Poneys!” Ellie’s ears noted with disapproval that Twilight pronounced the ‘s’es.
“’Pays des Poneys!’” Ellie exclaimed in wonder, not pronouncing the ‘s’es and stressing the last syllable. She chuckled. “Amazing.”
“Yeah…” Twilight seemed unsure of how to continue the conversation, or if it even was one at this point. “It used to be its own nation before being absorbed by Equestria. A lot of Canterlot families can trace their roots to it. A lot of playwrights, novelists, and philosophers come from there, too. They also make really good grape juice—”
“Could you introduce me to her?” Ellie interrupted. “I mean, to have, like, a real conversation with her? I mean, she speaks French!” She looked at Twilight. “Wait, do you speak French? I mean, Prench?”
“Oh, uh…” Twilight shifted her eyes. “No, I don’t. But I speak Old Ponish! And Pony Latin! I mean, Prench descended from Pony Latin so that’s almost as good, right?”
“Oh, I guess? But I don’t speak Latin.” Ellie said dismissively, not even bothering to wonder why they called it “Pony Latin”.
“And she makes clothes, right?”
She looked down at the shirt that had been her only outer article of clothing for months now. She had tried to take as good care of it as she could, but the patches and stitches and lingering stains were starting to accumulate. The once-white tank top underneath was in far worse shape. The bra was… fine, actually, since she only really wore it to social occasions like this, but it had been on the last set of hooks before it became her daily driver, so…
“Like, if we could just hang out together or something, it’d be really cool? We could talk in Prench and maybe talk about making me some new clothes…”
The look on Twilight’s face seemed… concerned? Ellie couldn’t quite place it.
“Oh, right! She’s like, a super fancy fashion designer!“ Ellie chuckled. “That really is cool! But I guess it would be insulting to assume she’d take time from her busy schedule just to make clothes for me.“
“What? No! Don’t be silly, you silly!” Pinkie Pie interrupted. “She’s the Bearer of the Element of Generosity, for cryin’ out loud! Of course she’d be glad to help out a new friend! Also, I’m sure she would loooooove the challenge of designing clothes for a whole new species nocreature’s ever seen before! Why, if she had known you were interested I’m sure she would have begged you to let her make clothes for you! Isn’t that right, Twilight?”
“Yeah…” Twilight agreed awkwardly. “All of that is correct!”
“And it’s not like Twilight’s the only pony that knows her! I could set up something! Oh!” She pulled out the filing cabinet from out of nowhere again. “Then I’d be the one filling in that missing edge! A friendship K7! That is so special!” She started prancing and then suddenly stopped. “Wait, not quite a K7, since it depends on which edges you project the multigraph down to. Hmm…”
Pinkie was lost in thoughts that Ellie did not bother even trying to comprehend. She was too excited to care.
Which itself was curious. She had never been this excited to meet a new pony before. She wondered why that was.