//------------------------------// // Chapter 3 - Day of the Doctors // Story: Invasion of the Livid Bread // by Leondude //------------------------------// Whooves, Saurus and SweetAI traversed the sandy deserts of Gallopray. Even though they thought it was a bit contrived that their friend might be here, they couldn’t believe that the adventures Advocatus read about were true. That the Time-Turners found a desert planet in the middle of nowhere and made it their primary base of operations, even when it was under siege in the war to end all wars. Now they just hoped that the stories of them experimenting on an unearthly foal to copy the ability of self-regeneration were false. As they traversed the coarse, rough and irritatingly sandy surface, they noticed a small wooden hut worn down by the almost literal sands of time. And as they made their way towards the dilapidated hut, they saw an Abyssinian wearing a black leather jacket, a ridiculously long scarf, and a fez. “Advocatus?” Saurus asked. The Abyssinian turned towards Saurus, “Advocatus. That’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time.” “How long have you been here?” SweetAI asked. “About four months,” Advocatus replied, “Maybe. You lose track of time when you accidentally fall into the time vortex and get thrown into a Time War.” “The Time War?” Whooves asked. “Are you the Doctor, by any chance?” Advocatus asked Whooves, “I mean we’re all doctors here but you’re like the Doctor. The definite article, you might say.” “Doctor who?” Whooves asked. “Doctor Whooves, of course,” Advocatus replied, “Unless you have changed your name like I have.” “What did you change it to this time?” SweetAI asked. “Warrior Diaboli,” Advocatus replied. “Great wickering stallions!” Whooves exclaimed, “You’re the Devil’s Warrior. The man who will end this war by activating the Moment.” “Well, I see my fate is fixed,” Advocatus said morosely. SweetAI pointed to a metallic box, recognizing the mauve button as a sign of danger, “And I’m guessing that’s the Moment right there.” “Indeed it is,” Advocatus replied, “Funny enough, it had a holographic interface that looked like a girl in my future. And then it went cold on me.” “Seems fair,” Whooves said, “The legends did say the Moment had a conscience. What is it with Time-Turners and sentient technology?” “You should know, you are one,” SweetAI deadpanned. Both Advocatus and Whooves looked at SweetAI. “Oops, spoilers,” SweetAI said sheepishly, “Anyway, wanna help us reverse engineer the technology of some evil bread aliens?” “I would but I still have to press this big mauve button over here,” Advocatus replied. “You can do that later,” Saurus said “Right now, we need to get back to Equestria before the bread monsters invent their own tentacle porn.” Saurus shuddered at the thought of bread alien on pony hentai. It would probably be even worse than that tea party with a Great Old One. “And how exactly are we going to get off of Gallopray and then return to this very moment in time?” Advocatus asked. SweetAI, Whooves, and Saurus gave Advocatus a closer view of the vortex manipulators wrapped around their hooves. “Ah. I was hoping you’d use something more like a sports car rather than a space hopper,” Advocatus said disappointedly, “Also, I’m very certain those things are bad for you.” “Well, it’s all we got so wanna come?” Saurus asked. “Sure,” Advocatus replied, “At least I get to be a doctor again.” Within the BOOBS laboratory, an incredibly swole unicorn of dark unfathomable power was playing with his blue banana and some figurines. His blue banana had a miniature gauntlet of infinite power attached to it. “Zap! And you're a Dark Wizard,” the dark wizard said, “And you are too, zap!” Then out of nowhere, the quartet of doctors (and SweetAI) appeared out of nowhere, startling the dark wizard and his army of miniature dark wizards. “Sorry about that, Black Biceps,” SweetAI said, “Didn’t know you were there.” “Knock on the door, man!” Black shouted, “Knock next time!” “Duly noted,” Advocatus said. “Did you see anything?” Black asked. “No, we didn’t see you playing with your blue banana again,” Saurus replied. “Good.” Black Biceps galloped away as Saurus pulled out a jar containing a bread monster that had been teleported to the lab three days ago. “We believe the green growths on the extraterrestrial bread are self-aware beauty marks that only metastasize in an environment of pure wheat,” SweetAI exposited before shaking the jar at a rapid speed. The captured bread monster woke up and tried to bite Dr Saurus. But since it was stuck in a jar, its attempts at attacking its captors proved futile. “Oh, look,” Saurus said while laughing, “It hates me so much.” “Do you have any of the invaders' technology on you?” Advocatus asked. SweetAI pulled out a big laser that looked suspiciously like a toaster. “Hmm,” Advocatus hummed as he observed the alien technology, “Have you tried reversing the polarity?” “I think that would cause it to explode,” SweetAI replied. “Well, it’s worth a try,” Whooves said as he whipped out his sonic screwdriver. As soon as Whooves used the screwdriver to reverse the polarity of the bread monster’s weapon, it inexplicably exploded in spectacular fashion, covering everypony in the vicinity with soot. “I think you should stick to using your screwdriver for assembling cabinets,” Advocatus said bluntly. “I reversed the jelly baby of the neutron flow,” Whooves said in a disoriented fashion before collapsing. “Welp, we’re doomed,” SweetAI said in a surprisingly jovial manner. “Advocatus?” Saurus asked. “Yes?” Advocatus replied. “Did you read any history books about the bread invasion during your stay on Gallopray?” “No, but I did use a laser gun to write ‘no more’ on a wall somewhere.” “So you have no idea if we will beat these aliens?” “I didn’t even know I was going to take a break from the Time War to reverse engineer the aliens’ technology but I can safely say we should be fine.” “Yeah, as long as nopony teleports any bread.” A strange ape-like creature appeared out of nowhere, startling both doctors and SweetAI. “Question,” the creature stated.