Surgeon putting in extra effort today.
And what is the true meaning of life?
From Anon 69 Public Radio, I'm Anonymous, and this is Anon 69 News. If you didn't like it before, you're sure as hell going to hate it now. Might as well end it all at this point.
Methodically taking the proper steps to divert an artery, cardiac surgeon Dr. Liver took extra care with a double bypass Thursday, just in case the patient was an undercover critic.
Coming out with a statement, he said, “These guys often schedule major surgeries without full disclosure or any warning. So just to be safe, I’m really taking care to ensure this one comes out nice,” said Liver, noting he knew doctors whose practices had been shut down after critics called their surgical techniques “uninspired”, and prognoses “jejune” in their reviews.
He went on to say, “You mess up on one little heart valve and these guys tear you apart. It would drive me crazy, but on the other hoof, if you score a five-star review, you’re absolutely set for life.” At press time, Liver had panicked after the patient lost blood pressure and flatlined.
Unfortunately, that's all we could get before we were escorted out of the building as doctors tried to revive the patient. So far, we have nothing on the aftermath, or even if the patient is alright.
This has been Anon 69 News with Anonymous, and I'll see you in hell.
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